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^ftMY  OWN  LIFE^ 

Or,  A  DESERTED  WIFE 


u , 


By  Mrs.  I.  M.  BEARD   J-   *   FIFTH  EDITION 


(COPYRIGHTED1 


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JOHN   LEWIS  BEARD 


MY  OWN  LIFE 


OR 


A   DESERTED   WIFE 


BY  MRS.  I.  M.  BEARD. 


PREFACE, 


||F  THE  public  will  allow  me,  I  will  preface  my 
'J  narrative  by  stating  why  1  write  tlie  following. 
During  the  summer  of  1896,  while  watching  by 
the  bedside  of  my  eldest  son,  who  was  suffering  from 
a  severe  attack  of  typhoid  fever,  I  dropped  into  a 
doze,  and  while  passing  a  few  moments  in  this  way 
dreamed  of  spending  the  night  at  the  old  Crumpler 
homestead  in  Germanton,  Stokes  County,  N.  C. 

Just  a  few  minutes  previous  to  retiring  someone 
rapped  upon  the  door.  On  opening  it  I  beheld  stand- 
ing before  me  two  of  my  dead-and-gone  ancestors.  I 
recognized  them  at  once  as  being  Grandfather  and 
Cousin  Newton  Crumpler.  The  former  passed  away 
when  my  father  was  only  six  years  of  age.  The  lat- 
ter was  shot  and  fell  mortally  wounded  while  serving 
in  the  "Seven  Days  Fight"  in  and  around  Rich- 
mond, Va. 

Cousin  Newton  was  one  of  North  Carolina's  famous 
lawyers,  and  had  he  survived  the  cruel  war  would 
have  made  his  mark  as  a  military  man  also. 

Tpon  entering  the  room  Grandfather  drew  me  to 

his  knee  and  began  stroking  my  hair,  at  the  same 

time  saying,  "Well,  well,  this  is  my  little  grandchild 

L ;    and  Jimmy's  baby."     He  then  asked  me  to  tell  him 

something  of  my  life.     I  told  him  all  until  I  reached 

my  eighteenth  birthday.     There  I  paused  and  could 

go  no  further;  so  Grandfather  said,  "That  will  do, 

<Y   Cousin  Nute  has  already  told  me  the  rest,  and  I  see 

0*  that  my  little  girl  has  had  ups  and  downs  as  well  as 

Or  we  older  ones.     But  now  listen  carefully  to  what  old 


4  PREFACE. 

> 

Grandpa  has  to  say :  He  has  returned,  bringing  with 
him  good  news  for  his  little  one  and  she  shall  once 
more  be  happy." 

I  dreamed  that  I  looked  up  into  his  face  and  said : 
"Grandpa,  is  it  possible  that  I  will  ever  be  happy 
again  ?" 

He  told  me  I  would  and  that  he  would  make  of  me 
what  he  had  intended  my  father  to  be. 

I"  was  anxious  to  hear  what  Grandfather  intended 
me  to  be,  so  insisted  on  his  telling  me  at  once. 

He  began  by  saying  that  I  was  to  write  a  story, 
entitled  "My  Own  Life;  or,  A  Deserted  Wife."  After 
writing  the  story  I  must  have  it  dramatized,  placed 
upon  the  stage,  and  in  the  city  of  New  York  the  play 
would  have  a  run  of  600  nights,  and  I,  the  heroine, 
would  be  crowned  "Queen  of  All,"  while  the  villain 
who  wrecked  my  young  life  died  the  death  of  a  mur- 
derer upon  the  gallows. 

Then  Cousin  Newton  addressed  me  for  the  first 
time  since  entering.  He  told  me  that  at  some  future 
day  I  would  deliver  an  oration  in  Forsyth's  court- 
house, but  that  I  shouldn't  be  frightened,  as  he  would 
be  with  me  and  I  would  reach  the  end  in  safety. 
After  saying  this  he  and  Grandfather  disappeared  and 
Sister  Eva  appeared  upon  the  scene,  bearing  in  her 
hand  a  lovely  garland  of  roses,  which  she  placed  upon 
my  brow,  and  exclaimed,  "Well,  I  guess  John  will  at 
last  acknowledge  his  little  fool  as  his  superior." 
Sister  told  me  that  the  garland  of  roses  which  she 
placed  upon  my  brow  was  made  from  off  the  bush  in 
the  yard  at  the  old  home. 


MY   OWN    LIFE, 

OR 

A    DESERTED  WIFE 


CHAPTER  I. 

MY  COURTSHIP  AND  MARRIAGE. 

j\EAR  READER,  if  you  will  lend  me  an  ear  I  will 

endeavor,  to  the  best  of  my  ability,  to  portray 
to  you  a  true  story  in  real  life,  the  heroine  of 
my  narrative  being  none  other  than  the  Authoress 
herself. 

I  was  born  September  29,  1862,  in  Forsyth  County, 
near  Salem,  N.  C,  my  maiden  name  being  Ida  May 
Crumpler.  I  was  reared  in  what  you  might  call  the 
lap'  of  luxury,  and  having  an  inclination  to  always 
remain  at  home  was  known  as  "Grandmother"  or 
"Old  Maid"  among  my  schoolmates  and  friends. 

Another  feature  of  my  childhood  for  which  I  was 
noted  was  hating  to  wound  the  feelings  of  a  friend  or 
companion,  and  I  would  grieve  for  days  afterward  if 
I  did  so  unthoughtedly. 

I  remember  very  distinctly  a  little  incident  which 
occurred  during  my  school  days.  One  morning  our 
instructress  gave  out  the  word  "receive"  to  a  class 
numbering  24.  I  stood  next  to  head  and  the  girl 
above  me  was  my  bosom  friend.  She  spelled  the  word, 
and  not  thinking  but  what  she  had  done  so  correctly, 
began  smiling  and  looking  around,  as  if  to  say,  "I'm 
confident  I  will  get  the  head  mark  to-day." 


6  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

But,  ah!  how  soon  her  smiles  were  turned  into 
tears,  when  our  teacher  looked  at  me  and  said :  "Next ; 
now,  Ida,  it's  your  turn  to  spell  the  word  'receive.' " 
I  knew  that  I  would  be  compelled  to  go  above  my 
friend,  as  she  had  said,  "cie"  instead  of  "cei." 

I  shall  never  forget  the  feeling  that  came  o'er  me 
when  the  lesson  was  ended  and  we  were  told  to  return 
to  our  seats.  My  little  friend  was  crying  and  so  was 
I — she,  on  account  of  missing  the  head  mark  and  I 
for  wounding  her  feelings. 

The  incident  recalled  to  mind  one  of  Whittier's 
poems,  which  all  of  you  are  familiar  with.  You  re- 
member how  the  little  brown-eyed  girl  hated  to  go 
above  the  boy  she  loved,  and  how  she  afterwards  said 
to  him : 

■I'm  sorry  that  I  spelled  the  word; 

I  hate  to  go  above  you, 
Because— the  brown  eyes  lower  fell — 

Because,  you  see.  I  love  you. 

My  father  was  a  painter  by  trade,  and  while  not  a 
wealthy  man,  was  a  very  indulgent  one.  He  could 
not  bear  to  even  hear  the  slightest  wish  made  bv  me 
without  it  being  granted,  almost  on  the  spur  of  the 
moment. 

I  remember  of  wishing  one  evening  for  the  moon, 
and  father  said,  "Well,  my  little  daughter  shall  have 
it."  He  then  stepped  into  the  barn,  very  soon  came 
out  bearing  a  large  pumpkin  in  his  arms,  and  began 
cutting  a  man's  face  upon  it.  After  cutting  the  face 
he  placed  a  lighted  candle  on  the  inside  and  nresenterl 
the  pumpkin  to  me  as  a  representative  of  the  moon. 

Ah !  well  do  I  recall  to  mind  many  more  just  such 
incidents  where  he  never  seemed  to  tire  of  amusing 
me. 

I  also  remember  the  many  happy  days  spent  on  my 


A  DESERTED   WIFE.  7 

father's  farm.  How  vividly  every  scene  appears  be- 
fore me  to-night,  making  me  feel  as  if  though  I  were 
a  child  once  more,  and  with  my  pet  kitten  roaming 
o'er  the  wide-spreading  fields,  with  no  thought  of 
coming  sorrow.  Little  was  I  dreaming  then  of  what 
the  dark  future  had  in  store  for  me.  Could  I  have 
seen  and  known  what  I  do  now,  perhaps  I  would  not 
be  the  broken-hearted  woman  1  am  to-day.  1  say 
broken-hearted,  because  I  feel  that  my  heart  has  been 
crushed  into  a  thousand  pieces,  and  by  the  one  who 
years  ago  promised  to  protect  and  love  me. 

Now,  dear  reader,  I  am  going  to  give  you  a  brief 
biography  of  my  courtship  and  marriage.  After  do- 
ing so,  I  will  then  leave  you  to  judge  for  yourself 
whether  or  not  I  have  not  just  cause  for  exclaiming, 
"Yes,  my  heart  is  broken";  and  also  whether  the 
man  I  married  has  proved  himself  worthy  of  the  con- 
fiding and  loving  girl  he  persuaded  from  a  happy 
home  and  kindred  dear,  now  more  than  sixteen  years 
ago. 

Well  do  I  remember  my  wedding  morn.  Every- 
thing seemed  bright  and  gay;  nothing  to  mar  the 
happiness  I  was  looking  forward  to,  except  I  was  not 
marrying  with  my  parents'  consent.  But  what  did 
I  care  for  their  opinion?  Was  I  not  going  to  marry 
the  man  I  loved?  I  was  more  than  anxious  for  the 
hour  to  arrive  when  I  should  place  my  young  life  into 
his  keeping,  for  better  or  worse. 

Could  I  have  realized  then  what  I  do  now,  I  would 
have  remained  closeted  within  the  four  walls  of  my 
own  room,  instead  of  meeting  one  who  in  after  years 
proved  himself  so  unworthy  of  my  love  and  trust. 

Well,  I  suppose  you  would  like  to  hear  something 
in  regard  to  my  courtship  before  proceeding  with  the 
life  that  had  such  a  tragic  ending. 


8  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

In  speaking  of  my  courtship  it  will  be  necessary  for 
me  to  start  from  the  very  beginning,  which  was  a 
long,  long  while  ago.  I  was  only  a  little  girl,  about 
five  years  of  age,  when  I  first  began  to  love  and  trust 
a  lad.  by  the  name  of  John  Lewis  Beard,  who  resided 
with  his  parents  in  the  beautiful  city  of  Winston, 
N.  C,  while  my  home  was  in  the  country,  just  four 
miles  below  Salem,  in  the  same  State. 

Those  were  balmy  moments  for  John  and  I  when 
he  used  to  come  with  his  mother  to  spend  the  day  at 
cur  lovely  country-seat.  Many  were  the  happy  hours 
we  spent  together  while  playing  at  hide  and  seek, 
John  never  growing  tired,  but  would  always  insist 
upon  remaining  for  an  hour  or  so  longer,  when  his 
mother  would  say,  "Come,  son,  it's  time  we  were 
going." 

When  he  did  finally  consent  to  leave,  it  was  with  a 
fond  embrace  and  the  loving  words,  "Good-bye,  little 
sweetheart,  until  I  come  again." 

Then  I  would  follow  him  to  the  gate  and,  with 
tears  streaming  down  my  cheeks,  watch  the  form  that 
seemed  so  dear  to  me  until  it  was  out  of  sight. 

I  did  not  dream  then  that  in  a  few  more  3- ears  I 
would  become  his  bride,  and  that  he  would  soon  grow 
tired  of  his  child- wife  and  find  happiness  in  leving 
another.     But  such  is  life. 

When  I  was  a  child  I  used  to  insist  upon  my  parents 
selling  our  country  home  and  moving  to  what  is  now 
called  the  Twin  City,  but  was  only  known  then  as 
Winston  alone.  My  reason  for  wanting  to  leave  the 
home  of  my  childhood  and  move  to  the  above-named 
place  was  in  order  that  I  might  be  near  the  boy  I 
loved.  Of  course,  I  did  not  give  this  as  my  reason  to 
the  parents  I  almost  idolized.  Mother,  however, 
guessed  the  cause  without  being  told,  and  would  often 


A   DESERTED   WIPE.  9 

say  to  me,  "Why,  Ida,  you  ought  to  be  ashamed  of 
yourself  for  acting  as  you  do  over  that  little  black 
John  Beard.  He  reminds  me  more  of  an  Indian  than 
anything  else/^V 

All  that  my  parents  could  do  or  say  had  no  effect 
upon  me  whatever;  and  when  I  was  between  eight 
and  nine  years  of  age  father  agreed  to  dispose  of  our 
country-seat  and  move  to  the  city  of  Winston. 

You  can  imagine  how  delighted  I  was  to  know  that 
I  would  soon  be  near  my  heart's  idol. 

After  papa  and  mamma  were  comfortably  domiciled 
in  their  new  abode,  my  little  Indian  and  I  began  our 
courtship  in  the  right  way,  as  we  termed  it.  He  and 
I  attended  the  same  day  school,  which  was  taught 
by  the  Misses  Welfare,  in  Salem. 

I  can  see  John  now  as  he  came  rushing  into  the 
school-room,  just  five  minutes  late,  with  a  box  of 
cigars  under  his  arm  and  trying  to  make  snme  excuse 
for  his  tardiness. 

At  recess  he  would  come  to  me  and  say:  "Why, 
good  morning,  pet;  here  is  an  apple  and  a  package  of 
candy  for  you."  Then  I  would  blush  as  I  took  the 
proffered  gift,  and  many  were  the  smiles  that  we 
exchanged  between  us. 

When  the  time  arrived  for  our  return  home,  we 
would  walk  hand  in  hand  along  the  streets  until  we 
came  within  sight  of  my  father's  residence.  Then 
we  were  compelled  to  bid  one  another  adieu  until  the 
morrow. 

We  were  continually  presenting  each  other  with 
some  token  of  affection  in  the  way  of  confectioneries, 
flowers,  etc.  My  lover  seemed  to  have  a  perfect  mania 
for  flowers,  therefore  mother's  forcing  house  was 
very  often  minus  her  most  choice  blooms  on  his  ac- 
count. Of  course  I  always  received  a  boquet  in  return.. 

A 


10  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

I  remember  being  very  ill  once  with  the  measles, 
and  one  evening  when  I  was  feeling  all  out  of  sorts 
some  one  rapped  upon  the  door  of  my  room.  I  found 
it  to  be  Miss  Mattie  Watkins,  a  friend  and  school- 
mate of  mine,  who  had  called  for  the  purpose  of  de- 
livering a  message  from  John.  She  was  also  the 
bearer  of  a  box  containing  a  tiny  moss-rose  bud,  which 
T  aporeciated  no  little  on  account  of  its  being  sent  me 
bv  the  apple  of  my  eye.  I  had  this  precious  flower 
Placed  in  a  glass  of  water  near  me  and  each  time  I 
heard  mother  coming  up  the  stairs  I  would  slip  John's 
gift  under  my  pillow  for  fear  she  would  question  me 
as  to  where  it  came  from. 

John  and  I  had  lots  of  fun  in  trving  to  keep  out  of 
papa  and  mamma's  way,  as  they  forbade  me  even  to 
speak  to  him ;  so,  of  course,  he  did  not  dare  attempt 
such  a  thing  as  calling  upon  me  at  my  own  home. 
We  were  compelled  to  agree  upon  some  place  where 
we  could  meet  each  other  and  spend  a  pleasant  even- 
ing, or  an  hour  or  so,  without  being  disturbed  by 
friend  or  foe.  I  would  always  tell  some  plausible 
storv  to  my  parents  in  order  to  get  away  from  home 
without  being  suspected  of  doing  anything  they  did 
not  approve  of. 

Verv  often  I  would  say.  "Mamma,  I  am  going  to 
visit  the  Misses  Jones,"  friends  of  mine  who  lived 
near  the  Mineral  Spring,  in  Salem.  You  mav  rest 
assured  that  I  did  not  visit  my  friends  every  time  T 
said  I  was  going  to,  but  would  meet  John  somewhere 
rear  the  Cedar  avenue  gate,  where  he  generally  had 
a  conveyance  in  readiness  Then  off  wo .would  <>"o  for 
a,  pleasant  drive  through  the  country,  where  we  would 
be  entirely  lost  to  the  outside  world  for  the  time  be- 
ing, so  far  as  we  were  concerned. 

Ah!  how  many  happy  hours  we  spent  together, 


A  DESERTED   WIPE.  11 

feeling  all  the  while  that  stolen  interviews  were  the 
sweeter.  Things  continued  in  this  way  until  I  was  in 
my  fourteenth  year  and  John  eighteen,  when  we  de- 
cided to  run  away  and  get  married,  but  were  foiled 
in  our  attempt  by  a  friend  of  my  father's  informing 
him  of  our  intentions. 

Everything  has  an  ending,  and  ours  came  all  too 
soon.  At  least  we  thought  so  when  my  parents  put 
a  stop  to  our  clandestine  meetings  by  locking  me  up 
in  a  room  for  days  at  a  time,  with  scarcely  anything 
to  eat  or  drink;  and  mother  would  say,  "Now,  Ida, 
you  must  remain  where  you  are  until  you  are  willing 
to  promise  never  to  look  at  or  speak  to  that  little 
black  Beard  boy  again." 

This  treatment  only  made  me  all  the  more  deter- 
mined not  to  promise  anything  of  the  kind,  but  to 
remain  true  to  John,  regardless  of  all  opposition. 

Things  looked  dark  and  gloomy  to  he  and  I,  as  we 
could  see  no  way  of  overcoming  the  great  calamity 
that  had  befallen  us. 

Just  think,  there  I  was  locked  in  my  room,  not 
even  allowed  the  privilege  of  going  down  stairs  when 
meal  time  came. 

If  I  happened  to  get  anything  to  eat  at  all,  it  was 
slipped  to  me  by  Sister  Flora  or  one  of  the  servants, 
who  would  say,  "Here  take  this  quickly,  or  we  shall 
be  found  out  and  punished  for  what  we  have  done." 
Sister  also  took  great  delight  in  slipping  letters  to  me 
from  my  lover.  I  imagine  I  can  hear  Flora  now  as 
she  came  running  up  the  stairs  and  knocking  gently 
upon  my  door,  saying,  "Ida,  here  is  a  letter  for  you 
from  Coonie."  "Coonie"  was  a  nickname  given  to 
John  by  me,  so  that  everyone  wouldn't  know  of 
whom  I  was  speaking. 

Oh !  how  my  heart  would  beat  on  hearing  his  name 


12  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

mentioned  and  oh !  how  eagerly  I  broke  the  seal  of 
my  precious  missive,  in  order  that  my  eyes  might 
rest  upon  the  endearing  words  written  within. 

I  had  quite  a  time  in  being  able  to  receive  John's 
letters.  However,  I  at  last  thought  of  a  plan  which 
worked  nicely.  At  nightfall  he  would  throw  them 
under  a  rosebush  in  the  yard ;  then  Flora  would  place 
them  in  a  tiny  basket  and  (by  means  of  a  wire)  I 
would  draw  them  to  my  window;  pressing  each  one 
to  my  lips  and  heart  before  reading  their  contents. 
On  account  of  my  imprisonment  I  also  had  quite  a 
time  in  procuring  suitable  stationery  with  which  to 
answer  them.  Often  I  was  compelled  to  sharpen  a 
charcoal  and  use  brown  wrapping  paper  for  the  pur- 
pose. 

I  was  a  little  tardy  once  in  regard  to  this  matter, 
and  in  the  meantime  received  two  more  epistles  from 
my  lover,  in  which  he  insisted  that  I  send  an  answer 
immediately  to  the  many  foolish  questions  he  had 
asked,  f»nd  on  my  failing  to  comply  with  his  request 
he  made  up  his  mind  to  leave  Winston  without  in- 
forming me  of  his  intentions.  So,  early  on  the  fol- 
lowing morning  he  set  out  upon  his  journey,  in  com- 
pany with  a  cousin  of  his,  whose  home  was  in  Hick- 
ory, N.  0.  He  intended  accompanying  his  cousin  as 
far  as  Hickory  for  the  purpose  of  entering  a  printing 
office  of  some  kind  as  a  typo.  They  did  not  go  direct 
from  here  to  the  above-named  city,  but  I  think  from 
what  John  told  me  in  after  years  they  wandered 
nearly  all  over  Western  North  Carolina  before  reach- 
ing their  destination. 

On  doing  so  John  only  remained  four  months.  He 
soon  became  dissatisfied  with  his  new  position  and 
concluded  he  would  leave  for  other  parts. 

After  bidding  his  cousin  an  affectionate  farewell, 


A   DESERTED   WIPE.  13 

lie  left  for  Salisbury,  N.  0.,  the  former  home  of  his 
ancestors. 

Now,  all  this  time  he  kept  closely  concealed  next 
to  his  heart  the  little  missives  written  by  me  to  him, 
and  in  five  years  after  produced  them  in  the  same 
condition  they  were  when  received. 

But,  what  do  you  suppose  the  girl  he  had  left  be- 
hind was  doing  all  these  weary,  weary  days,  with  no 
tidings  of  her  absent  one?  Why,  sitting  at  home  cry- 
ing her  eyes  out  on  account  of  being  left  without  a 
word  of  warning  or  explanation  as  to  the  cause  of  her 
being  so  cruelly  treated. 

God  did  not  intend  this  state  of  affairs  to  last  for- 
ever, so  one  bright  Sabbath  morn  in  November,  1877, 
I  left  my  home  for  the  purpose  of  attending  Sunday 
School,  as  I  had  been  accustomed  to  doing.  On 
reaching  the  church  I  beheld  my  boy  lover  and  play- 
mate of  former  years  waiting  for  me  at  the  door,  just 
as  if  though  nothing  had  ever  happened. 

Then  and  there  our  vows  were  renewed,  and  no 
happier  couple  ever  existed  than  we  were  f<rr  a  year 
or  more.  But  another  misunderstanding  followed, 
on  account  of  John's  being  of  a  very  jealous  disposi- 
tion and  always  wanting  his  own  way  about  every- 
thing, never  willing  to  give  way  to  me  for  a  single 
moment,  and,  of  course,  this  caused  another  separa- 
tion, he  leaving  for  the  second  time  without  a  word 
of  warning  and  going  back  to  his  old  haunts  in  Salis- 
bury, where  he  remained  for  a  few  days,  while  wait- 
ing for  his  cousin,  Peter  Beard,  to  accompany  him  on 
a  Avild-goose  chase  through  the  Western  part  of  North 
Carolina. 

In  years  afterward  my  noble  lord  often  amused  me 
for  hours  at  a  time  by  relating  how  they  deceived  the 
people  along  the  road  in  order  to  obtain  food  and 
lodging  without  paying  for  it. 


14  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

John  said  that  one  day  he  would  be  a  poor  blind 
man,  who  was  being  led  by  his  cousin  all  over  the 
State  for  the  purpose  of  earning  a  few  dollars  in  this 
way  for  himself,  and  also  for  his  widowed  mother, 
who  remained  at  home  anxiously  awaiting  her  boy's 
return. 

The  following  day  he  represented  himself  as  being 
a  noted  evangelist,  who  was  trying  to  save  the  souls 
of  his  fellowmen  from  going  down  to  perdition. 

On  the  third  day  he  informed  the  people  that  he 
was  a  good  old  corn-doctor,  who  could  cure  corns  of 
long  standing  or  those  of  short  duration. 

On  the  fourth  and  last  day  of  their  journey  he 
palmed  himself  off  as  a  deaf  and  dumb  mute  and 
astonished  the  natives  wherever  he  went  by  spelling 
and  making  signs  with  his  fingers.  On  the  eve  of  the 
fourth  day  they  reached  Asheville,  N.  C,  where  they 
remained  for  a  week  or  more  with  another  cousin  of 
theirs;  but  finally  becoming  tired  and  anxious  to  be 
going  they  again  set  out  for  parts  unknown. 

After  wandering  around  for  some  time  they  con- 
cluded they  would  return  to  Salisbury  and  try  their 
hand  at  farming.  John  soon  found  out  that  he  was 
not  intended  for  a  tiller  of  the  soil,  therefore  he  would 
lay  down  the  hoe  and  enter  the  printing  business 
once  more. 

He  afterwards  fell  desperately  in  love,  or  at  least 
thought  so,  with  a  young  lady  by  the  name  of  How- 
ard, who  was  a  distant  relative  of  his.  After  paying 
her  attention  for  some  time  they  became  engaged  and 
everything  seemed  in  a  fair  way  for  a  happy  union 
until  a  few  days  previous  to  their  wedding.  Then  all 
at  once  John  came  to  the  conclusion  that  he  did  not 
really  love  his  intended  and  thought  it  best  to  inform 
her  accordingly.     He  called  upon  his  lady-love  and 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  15 

informed  her  as  to  the  decision  he  had  arrived  at  in 
regard  to  their  becoming  one ;  and  also  insisted  at  the 
same  time  that  she  return  to  him  their  engagement 
ring. 

After  complying  with  his  request,  Miss  Howard 
politely  told  him  to  leave  her  father's  residence  and 
never  speak  to  her  again.  So  away  went  John  with 
710  thought  of  the  broken  heart  he  had  left  behind, 
but  went  straight  to  his  boarding-house  and  made 
preparations  for  his  departure  from  the  city. 

On  leaving  Salisbury  he  returned  to  Winston,  his 
former  home,  and  also  the  home  of  the  girl  whom  he 
had  promised  to  remain  true  to,  no  matter  what  hap- 
pened. The  day  following  his  arrival  in  the  city  he 
made  inquiry  as  to  whether  I  had  remained  true  to 
him  or  whether  my  heart  had  been  given  to  another 
during  his  absence.  On  learning  that  my  heart  was 
still  his,  notwithstanding  several  others  had  proposed 
to  me,  he  insisted  that  we  again  renew  our  vows  and 
enter  the  married  state  as  soon  as  possible. 

I  was  then  in  my  seventeenth  year,  just  entering 
into  womanhood,  with  the  prospect  of  a  bright  future 
before  me;  but  the  One  who  reig  js  above  willed  it 
otherwise,  and  to-day  I  am  the  heart-broken  wife  of 
the  man  for  whose  sake  I  gave  up  home  and  all  that 
was  dear  to  me.  Had  I  listened  to  parents  and  friends, 
what  a  different  life  I  might  now  be  leading. 

Reader,  let  me  impress  upon  your  mind  to  take 
your  parents'  advice  ere  it's  too  late.  Of  course,  they 
are  not  competent  of  choosing  for  you  a  companion 
through  life,  but  very  often  see  many  little  defects 
which  yon  are  more  than  willing  to  overlook  during 
your  courtship. 

It  was  so  with  me.  I  could  only  see  the  bright  side 
of  the  life  I  was  about  entering  upon,  and  never 


16  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

thought  for  a  moment  that  the  wear  and  tear  of  after 
years  would  cause  me  to  exclaim,  "Oh !  had  I  listened 
in  time !" 

As  I  have  already  said,  I  was  just  seventeen  when 
I  promised  John  for  the  third  time  to  become  his 
bride,  and  knowing  nothing  in  regard  to  his  love 
affair  while  in  Salisbury,  began  making  preparations 
for  what  I  now  term  my  fatal  wedding. 

Why  was  it  that  Fate  did  not  interfere  and  enable 
me  to  see  then  as  I  do  now?  I  would  have  been  spared 
a  great  deal  of  pain  and  suffering  in  after  years. 

John  and  I  renewed  our  vows  for  the  third  time 
April  25,  1880,  and  on  May  IQth,  in  the  same  year,  I 
premised  him  my  hand  in  marriage. 
Z^Nk !  that  memorable  day  in  May.  It  was  one  beau- 
tiful Sabbath  afternoon,  and  I  had  gotten  permission 
from  my  parents  to  go  out  walking,  in  company  with 
a  young  man  by  the  name  of  Leslie,  who  was  then 
boarding  with  us.  Immediately  after  leaving  home  T 
informed  Mr.  Leslie  of  my  plans  for  the  evening  and 
insisted  that  he  accompany  me  as  far  as  Mr.  F.  N. 
Nading's  residence  on  Liberty  street,  that  being  the 
place  agreed  upon  by  my  lover  and  I  for  our  meeting. 

On  arriving  there  we  found  Miss  Ida,  Mr.  Nading's 
eldest  daughter,  and  John  in  the  parlor,  waiting  for 
us.  Of  course  I  felt  as  if  though  I  were  in  what 
might  be  called  my  second  heaven.  And  after  the 
customary  introduction  between  Mr.  Leslie  and  Miss 
Nading,  John  and  I  left  them  alone  and  set  out  for  a 
pleasant  stroll.  After  walking  around  for  some  time 
we  became  tired,  and  on  being  near  a  comfortable 
seat  my  lover  said,  "Come,  let's  sit  here  and  rest 
awhile  before  going  back  to  the  house."  We  had  not 
been  seated  long  when  he  began  insisting  that  I  give 
him  an  answer  to  the  question  he  had  asked  me  a 


A   DESERTED   WIFE.  17 

few  days  previous  to  this  event.  I  told  him  I  had 
studied  over  the  matter  and  was  ready  to  answer  in 
the  affirmative.  I  had  scarcely  finished  speaking, 
when  he  placed  his  arm  around  my  waist,  and  taking 
my  hand  in  his,  exclaimed :  "My  own  little  darling 
Ida,  you  have  made  me  the  happiest  man  in  the 
world  by  promising  to  become  my  bride." 

Reader,  I  can  not  explain  to  you  my  feelings  at  that 
moment.  I  could  think  of  nothing  but  the  bright 
future  before  me.  I  remember  there  were  daisies 
growing  at  our  feet,  and  after  plucking  a  handful  T 
remarked  to  John  that  we  would  keep  them  as  a 
souvenir  of  our  engagement  day. 

It's  with  a  sad  heart  I  gaze  upon  my  favorite  blos- 
soms now,  as  they  recall  to  mind  what  might  have 
been  had  not  Fate,  cruel  Fate,  willed  it  otherwise. 

John  and  I  remained  seated  in  our  cozy  nook  until 
the  shades  of  evening  were  gathering  around  us. 
Then  I  suggested  that  we  return  to  Mr.  lading's  resi- 
dence. On  doing  so  we  found  the  family  seated  at 
the  table  enjoying  their  evening  meal,  and  wondering 
at  onr  prolonged  absence. 

After  partaking  of  a  delicious  cup  of  tea  prepared 
by  our  hostess,  we  set  out  for  my  father's  house,  in 
company  with  Mr.  Leslie  and  Miss  Nading.  On  arriv- 
ing in  sight  of  home  Mr.  Leslie  and  John  changed 
places,  the  former  accompanying  me  to  my  own  door, 
while  the  latter  returned  with  Miss  Ida  to  her  paren- 
tal abode. 

I  remained  in  the  parlor  but  a  few  moments  after 
reaching  home,  then  ran  up  stairs  and  began  relating 
to  Sister  Flora  the  events  of  the  evening.  I  remem- 
ber of  her  saving,  "Why,  Ida,  I  am  more  than  sur- 
prised at  yon  for  even  thinking  about  such  a  thing  as 
marrying  John  Beard.     You  know  that  he  isn't  a  fit 


18  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

companion  for  you ;  therefore,  I  hope  you  will  aban- 
don the  idea  at  once,  as  you  are  his  superior  in  every 
respect,  and  you  are  also  aware  of  the  fact  that  he 
would  starve  you  to  death  in  a  short  while." 

Ah!  how  little  did  I  think  then  of  her  prediction 
coming  true  in  after  years;  so  I  took  no  heed  to  her 
warning  voice,  but  continued  to  meet  my  lover  as 
before.  Yes,  meeting  my  lover  clandestinely  for  som;> 
time  afterwards,  spending  many  happy  hours  until  it 
was  nearing  the  time  for  our  fatal  wedding,  which 
was  to  take  place  September  29,  1880,  that  being  the 
anniversary  of  my  eighteenth  birthdav,  and  accord- 
ing to  the  laws  of  North  Carolina  I  would  be  at  liberty 
to  marry  whom  I  pleased. 

How  well  do  I  remember  the  last  meeting  between 
mv  lover  and  I,  a  few  days  previous  to  our  wedding. 
We  had  agreed  to  meet  each  other  down  near  the 
schoolgirls'  play-ground  in  order  to  make  necessary 
arrangements  in  regard  to  the  coming  event.  It  was 
a  balmy  eve  in  summer,  and  after  donning  my  white 
dress,  slippers  and  hat  to  correspond,  I  set  out  for  our 
trysting  place.  On  reaching  the  summer  house  T 
beheld  John  already  seated,  and  upon  my  arrival  he 
exclaimed,  "Why,  sweetheart,  you  look  just  like  a 
bride,  and  will  be  mine  soon." 

Ah !  how  happy  we  were  then.  Why  was  it  that 
Fate  did  not  draw  aside  the  curtain  for  a  few  mo- 
ments in  order  that  we  might  behold  what  the  dark 
future  had  in  store  for  us. 

After  spending  an  hour  or  so  in  laying  our  plans 
for  the  coming  event,  we  concluded  to  return  home. 
On  our  way  Dack  we  each  gathered  a  large  boquet  of 
daisies,  which  I  afterwards  twined  into  a  lovely  gar- 
land for  John's  hat,  he  keeping  the  same  for  years 
after  we  were  married. 


A   DESERTED   WIFE.  19 

It  was  then  nearing  the  time  for  our  wedding,  and 
we  had  planned  quite  a  romantic  one.  I  was  to  leave 
home  for  the  purpose  of  visiting  my  cousin,  Mrs.  Dr. 
York,  who  lived  near  Trap  Hill,  Wilkes  County,  N.  0. 
Of  course  it  was  understood  that  John  was  to  follow 
in  a  few  days. 

After  my  departure,  and  before  reaching  the  home 
of  my  cousin,  we  were  to  climb  Stone  Mountain  and 
be  married  at  a  place  called  "Lover's  Leap."  But 
Fate  interfered  again,  and  we  were  foiled  for  the 
second  time  in  our  attempt  at  getting  married  by  an 
aunt  of  mine  informing  my  parents  of  our  proposed 
plans.  I  can  almost  see  her  now  as  she  came  to  visit 
us  early  one  morning.  Immediately  upon  her  arrival 
she  began  asking  papa  and  mamma  whether  they  had 
heard  anything  in  regard  to  the  grand  wedding  that 
was  to  take  place  on  the  following  Wednesday.  Father 
said  no,  they  had  not. 

lie  then  wanted  to  know  who  the  contracting  par- 
ties were.  Aunt  replied,  by  saying,  "Why,  Ida  and 
that  black  John  Beard.  I  thought  you  knew  they 
were  fixing  to  run  away  and  get  married."  I  heard 
father  say,  "O,  I  guess  it's  all  a  mistake ;  Ida  intends 
visiting  Cousin  Eliza  York  next  week  and  I  suppose 
someone  has  circulated  the  report  that  she  is  going  to 
get  married,  on  account  of  her  having  quite  an  ex- 
tensive going- away  trousseau  prepared." 

I  was  just  consoling  myself  with  the  thought  that 
perhaps  I  would  get  away  yet,  when  all  at  once  I 
heard  father  say,  "I  believe  I  will  go  and  speak  to 
Ida  about  the  affair,  anyway."  My  heart  went  pit- 
a-pat on  hearing  his  footsteps  draw  near  the  door.  I 
made  up  my  mind,  however,  not  to  tell  him  a  false- 
hood, but  to  speak  the  truth,  let  come  what  would. 

Immediately  upon  entering  my  room  he  began  ply- 


20  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

ing  me  with  questions  in  regard  to  what  aunt  had  told 
him.  I  said,  "Yes,  pa,  it's  all  true;  I  intend  marry- 
ing John  on  next  Wednesday  evening,  so  will  give 
you  and  mother  an  invitation  to  our  wedding  right 
now." 

Father  then  looked  me  straight  in  the  face,  saying 
as  he  did  so,  "Ida,  there  is  one  thing  I  want  to  say 
to  you ;  it  is  this,  If  you  marry  John  Beard  next  Wed- 
nesday your  mother  and  I  will  disown  you  forever. 
I  mean  what  I  say,  and  you  need  never  expect  any 
assistance  from  either  of  us." 

I  remained  perfectly  quiet  for  a  few  moments  after 
he  had  ceased  speaking,  then  said,  "All  right,  pa,  I 
will  never  call  upon  you  to  aid  me  under  any  circum- 
stances, but  will  go  to  the  almshouse,  if  needs  be, 
rather  than  call  upon  you,  my  father." 

He  then  left  the  room,  slamming  the  door  behind 
him,  and  I  afterwards  heard  him  conversing  with 
mother  in  a  very  excited  tone,  and  I  knew  that  she, 
too,  would  pay  me  a  visit  in  a  short  while ;  so  I  again 
made  up  my  mind  to  fight  the  battle  bravely,  whether 
I  came  out  victorious  or  not. 

On  making  her  appearance,  mother  looked  as  if 
though  she  would  like  to  crush  me  with  one  blow.  I 
was  embroidering  a  dainty  little  handkerchief,  which 
she  snatched  from  my  hands,  and  remarked  that  my 
trip  to  Trap  Hill  was  as  if  though  it  had  never  been 
thought  of.  She  also  told  me  that  every  article  of 
wearing  apparel  which  had  been  prepared  for  me 
would  be  locked  up  and  remain  so  until  I  promised 
never  to  marry  John  Beard. 

While  mother  and  I  were  conversing  father  thought 
of  another  scheme,  which  he  at  first  supposed  would 
have  a  great  deal  of  effect  upon  me;  so  he  put  his 
thoughts  into  execution  by  going  up  street,  and  on 


A   DESERTED   WIFE.  21 

bis  return  home  presented  me  with  a  lovely  watch, 
necklace  and  pin,  saying  at  the  same  time,  "Now, 
Ida,  these  are  yours,  on  one  condition,  and  that  is, 
you  must  abandon  the  idea  of  marrying  Beard." 

I  handed  the  box  containing  the  baubles  back  to 
my  father  and  said,  "Why,  pa,  did  you  think  for  a 
moment  that  my  love  could  be  so  easily  bought?  It 
wouldn't  be  worth  a  cent  if  such  were  the  case. 
While  I  would  like  very  much  to  own  the  trinklets 
you  have  offered  me,  it  will  be  impossible  for  me  to 
accept  them  on  the  terms  you  have  just  spoken  of." 

Oh,  how  angry  father  seemed  to  be.  He  again  left 
the  room,  and  after  remaining  out  for  an  hour  or  so 
he  returned  with  a  bright  smile  upon  his  face,  say- 
ing, "Well,  daughter,  there  is  one  thing  more  I  will 
offer  you.  On  your  eighteenth  birthday  I  will  have 
placed  within  your  room  a  beautiful  suit  of  furniture 
if  you  will  make  the  promise  I  have  already  asked." 

I  said,  "No,  pa;  it  isn't  worth  while  to  offer  me 
anything  more.  I  shall  marry  John  regardless  of  all 
your  gifts." 

I  might  just  as  well  have  poured  oil  on  the  fire  as 
to  have  said  what  I  did. 

Father  fluttered  around  for  awhile,  then  remarked 
that  he  would  try  what  virtue  there  was  in  locking 
•me  up  for  a  month  or  two,  as  he  thought  it  would  do 
more  good  than  anything  else. 

He  then  left  me  alone  once  more,  and  I  knew  that 
I  must  inform  my  lover  immediately  as  to  what  had 
happened  during  the  day. 

I  wrote  him  a  brief  note,  in  which  I  stated  that  we 
would  be  compelled  to  make  other  arrangements  in 
regard  to  our  wedding,  as  my  aunt  had  given  us  com- 
pletely away,  and  that  in  all  probability  I  would  be 
locked  up  from  that  time  forth. 


22  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

I  then  rang  for  the  chambermaid.  She  responded 
to  my  call  at  once,  and  on  entering  my  room  I  told 
her  that  one  dollar  in  cash  should  be  hers  if  she  would 
agree  to  place  the  note  I  had  written  into  Mr.  Beard's 
hands,  and  that  she  bring  an  answer  on  her  return. 

It's  a  very  amusing  thought  that  occurs  to  me  when 
I  think  of  how  Mary  opened  her  large  mouth  and 
eyes,  saying,  "Now,  Miss  Ida,  you  knows  I  will  doo 
jes  like  you  tells  me  to." 

I  suppose  she  was  thinking  of  the  bright  silver  dol- 
lar she  was  to  receive  on  her  return,  and  that  was 
why  she  was  so  ready  and  willing  to  comply  with  my 
request. 

I  felt  somewhat  relieved  after  dispatching  the  ser- 
vant with  my  message  to  John,  as  I  knew  he  would 
make  other  arrangements  immediately  in  regard  to 
the  coming  event. 

Mary  remained  away  for  about  an  hour  and  on  her 
return  home  handed  me  a  note  from  my  lover,  in 
which  he  stated  that  I  need  not  give  myself  any  un- 
easiness in  regard  to  our  wedding,  as  everything 
should  be  in  readiness  on  Wednesday  evening  at  4 
o'clock — the  hour  appointed  for  our  marriage  to  take 
place.  John  also  informed  me  that  he  had  thought 
of  another  scheme,  which  in  all  probability  would 
work  better  than  the  one  first  agreed  upon,  and  that 
if  my  parents  locked  me  up  I  should  remain  perfectly 
quiet  until  September  29,  when  he  would  drive  to 
father's  door  and  demand  of  him  the  keys  to  my 
room,  and  on  his  failing  to  produce  them  he  would 
seek  legal  advice  in  regard  to  the  matter,  as  I  would 
then  be  of  age  and  according  to  law  father  would 
have  control  over  me  no  longer. 

My  brain  was  in  a  terrible  state  at  that  period  of 
my  life.  There  I  was  hanging  in  the  balance,  betwixt 


A   DESERTED   WIFE.  23 

love  and  duty,  hardly  knowing  which  course  to  pur- 
sue— whether  to  cling  to  the  parents  I  loved  so  dearly 
or  the  lover  I  almost  idolized.  I  chose  the  latter  and 
to-day  am  reaping  my  reward. 

Had  I  listened  ere  it  was  too  late  I  might  now  be 
gathering  in  the  sheaves  instead  of  the  tares. 

Now,  dear  reader,  comes  the  most  interesting  part 
of  my  narrative,  as  I  shall  endeavor  to  relate  the 
events  of  the  evening  preceding  my  fatal  wedding  and 
those  that  followed. 

I  will  never  forget  the  last  evening  spent  beneath 
my  father's  roof  before  entering  upon  a  life  of  which 
I  knew  nothing. 

It  was  on  the  28th  of  September,  1880,  that  several 
of  my  friends  and  relatives  had  gathered  in  the  parlor 
to  have  what  they  called  a  farewell  chat  with  me 
while  I  was  yet  their  girl  companion. 

Ah!  what  a  pleasant  evening  we  spent,  playing, 
singing  and  chatting  with  each  other  until  the  hands 
of  the  little  onvx  clock  upon  the  mantel  pointed  to 
half -past  10. 

Then  one  of  my  friends  remarked  that  it  was  time 
they  all  were  going,  in  order  that  I  might  prepare  for 
the  coming  event  of  the  morrow. 

I  bade  them  an  affectionate  good-bve,  and  on  reach- 
ing my  room  burst  out  crying.  I  felt  as  if  I  were 
nreparingfor  my  burial  instead  of  the  dav  that  should 
have  been  the  brightest  of  all  others. 

After  retiring  I  could  not  sleep,  so  redressed  myself 
and  sat  down  by  the  window,  thinking  perhaps  it  was 
not  too  late  to  recall  the  step  I  was  about  to  take. 

Then,  all  at  once,  I  imagined  I  could  see  John 
standing  before  me.  with  his  outstretched  arms,  say- 
ing, "Come  to  me,  little  one;  be  brave  and  come. 
You  shall  never  regret  it."     I  suppose  this  thought 


24  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

occurred  to  me  on  account  of  my  receiving  a  cote 
from  him  a  few  hours  previous  to  retiring.  The  note 
ran  as  follows : 

My  Own  Little  Ida: 

Be  sure  to  meet  me  at  the  place  appointed  to-morrow  at  three, 
as  I  do  not  want  to  be  thwarted  in  ray  plans  for  the  future. 

Yours  forever,  J.  L.  B. 

Never  from  memory's  page  will  be  erased  the  words 
of  the  bearer  of  that  fatal  note.  He  was  an  old  frieud 
of  my  girlhood,  and  the  remarks  he  made  on  the  eve 
preceding  my  wedding  day  still  ring  in  my  ear,  as  if 
they  were  only  spoken  yesterday  instead  of  sixteen 
years  ago. 

After  presenting  the  note,  he  said  to  me.  "Well, 
Miss  Ida,  to-morrow  is  your  wedding  day  and  I  wish 
vou  all  the  happiness  and  prosperitv  possible;  but 
there's  one  thing  I  want  you  to  bear  in  mind,  it  is 
this :  If  ever  want  or  trouble  should  come  to  vou  in 
after  years,  remember  that  you  will  always  find  a 
true  friend  in  C.  M.  L." 

I  feel  as  if  though  he  would  be  a  friend  to  me  now 
in  my  late  trouble,  but  at  the  same  time  I  dare  no<" 
inform  him  of  my  suffering,  as  in  all  probability  he 
would  think  me  unwomanly  in  doing  so,  especiallv 
when  I  at  one  time  cast  him  aside  for  another,  littl^ 
thinking  then  that  I  would  regret  my  rash  act  in 
years  to  come. 

Now.  I  must  return  to  my  wedding  morn.  It 
dawned  bright  and  beautiful,  a  befitting  dav  for  the 
little  girl  who  was  to  become  a  bride  ere  the  sun  went 
down. 

After  passing  a  sleepless  night,  I  arose  at  6  a.  m. 
with  a  heart  almost  as  heavy  as  lead,  instead  of  the 
light,   happy  one   I   shold   have   carried   within   my 


A   DESERTED   WIFE.  25 

bosom.  I  made  a  hasty  toilet  and  went  down  stairs 
to  breakfast,  but  could  not  eat  a  mouthful,  and  one 
of  the  servants  remarked  that  I  had  better  drink  a 
cup  of  coffee  at  any  rate,  as  in  all  probability  it  would 
be  the  last  time  I  would  have  the  privilege  of  doing 
so  while  beneath  my  parents'  roof. 

Little  did  I  think  that  twelve  months  would  pass 
b}*  ere  I  crossed  the  threshold  of  the  dear  old  home 
again. 

Breakfast  being  over,  I  returned  to  my  room,  and, 
after  thoroughly  cleansing  hands  and  teeth,  concluded 
I  would  run  down  to  the  parlor  and  play  over  several 
of  the  pieces  I  liked  best. 

On  entering  the  door  I  beheld  mother  standing  by 
the  window,  crying  as  if  though  her  heart  would 
break. 

I  pretended  not  to  see  her  at  first,  but  went  straight 
to  the  piano,  opened  it  and  began  playing  "Robin 
Adair."  This  being  finished,  mother  said,  "Ida,  I 
am  glad  you  are  here;  now  play  'Old  Folks  at  Home,7 
then  close  the  piano  and  come  sit  down  by  me;  I 
have  something  to  say  to  you." 

She  began  by  saying,  "Well,  I  suppose  you  are  de- 
termined to  marry  John  Beard,  notwithstanding  all 
my  advice  in  regard  to  the  matter." 

I  replied  in  the  affirmative  and  was  inoiv  than 
sorry  afterwards  that  I  had  spoken  in  such  a  hasty 
manner,  as  my  remarks  only  caused  the  tears  to  flow 
faster  from  mother's  eyes.  I  placed  my  arms  around 
her  neck,  thinking  in  this  way  I  would  be  able  to  com 
pensate  for  what  I  had  said.  I  also  begged  that  she 
forgive  the  act  I  was  about  to  commit,  and  asked  her 
to  listen  to  me  for  a  few  minutes,  as  I,  too,  had  some- 
thing to  say  to  her. 

I  said,  "Mother,  I  have  always  been  an  obedient 


26  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OB 

child,  haven't  I?  doing  whatever  you  requested  me 
to  do  without  a  murmur,  but  the  time  has  now 
arrived  when  I  deem  it  necessary  that  I,  and  I  alone, 
should  choose  for  myself  a  companion  through  life. 

"I  am  aware  of  the  fact  that  you  do  not  approve  of 
my  choice,  but  at  the  same  time  it  is  I  and  not  you 
that  is  going  to  make  the  sacrifice.  I  know  that  John 
is  poor;  but  what  of  that?  I  love  him,  and  poverty 
shall  not  come  between  us. 

"I  also  know  that  he  will  not  be  able  to  keep  me 
in  the  style  you  and  father  have  always  done,  but  I 
have  made  up  my  mind  to  share  his  fate,  whatever  it 
may  be,  and  this  afternoon  at  4  o'clock  I  shall  place 
my  young  life  into  his  keeping,  for  better  or  worse — 
God  only  knows  which  of  the  two  it  will  be;  I  hope 
the  former.  But  time  proves  all  things;  so  let  us 
wait  and  see." 

Then  mother  said,  "Ida,  I  have  a  presentment  that 
your  married  life  will  have  a  tragic  ending,  and  I  had 
much  rather  see  the  hearse  drive  to  my  door  to-day 
and  bear  you  to  your  last  resting-place  than  to  see 
you  become  the  wife  of  John  Beard.  I  know  that  you 
do  not  really  love  him;  it's  only  a  schoolgirl's  pass- 
ing fancy,  and  you  will  find  when  it's  too  late  that 
you  were  mistaken,  as  many  others  have  done  before ; 
so,  take  my  -advice  and  remain  at  home.  You  are 
now  hanging  on  the  very  edge  of  the  precipice,  as  it 
were,  and  I,  your  mother,  implore  you  to  look  once 
more  before  taking  the  fatal  leap." 

After  mother  and  I  had  finished  our  conversation 
I  ran  back  upstairs  and  began  my  toilet  for  the  after- 
noon, as  I  had  promised  John  to  meet  him  precisely 
at  3,  so  thought  it  best  to  be  in  readiness  by  that 
hour. 

I   donned   a   cream-colored   dress,   trimmed   with 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  27 

garnet  silk.  I  remember  of  saying  to  myself,  "This 
isn't  the  costume  a  bride  should  wear  on  the  eve  of 
her  marriage,  but,  as  my  parents  have  everything  else 
under  lock  and  key,  I  suppose  I  will  be  compelled  to 
put  it  on  and  think  nothing  about  the  omen." 

I  was  in  the  act  of  putting  the  finishing  touches  to 
my  toilet,  when  I  heard  mother  say  to  one  of  the 
servants,  "Bettie,  be  sure  you  serve  dinner  at  11 
o'clock  sharp,  as  Ida  will  be  eighteen  then,  and  I  have 
never  failed  all  these  years  to  have  her  noonday  meal 
prepared  on  time,  so  that  she  could  remember  the 
hour  in  which  she  was  born." 

My  toilet  being  finished,  I  was  standing  by  the 
window  whiling  away  the  moments  by  looking  down 
into  the  little  rose-garden,  where  I  had  played  so  often 
when  a  child.  While  thus  employed  I  heard  the  first 
tap  of  the  dinner  bell,  and,  knowing  how  peculiar 
mother  was  in  regard  to  our  being  punctual  at  meals, 
I  immediately  repaired  to  the  dining-room. 

On  reaching  there  I  only  found  my  little  sister  Eva 
seated  at  the  table.  She  remarked  that  we  would 
have  a  nice  dinner  all  to  ourselves,  as  mother  and  Sis- 
ter Flora  had  gone  out  shopping  and  would  not  return 
until  late  in  the  evening. 

Now,  I  knew  very  well  the  cause  of  their  being 
absent,  so  ate  but  little  on  account  of  it.  Eva  began 
teasing  me  and  said  that  I  had  better  eat  all  I  possibly 
could,  as  she  would  be  willing  to  bet  a  penny  I  would 
not  have  any  supper.  I  then  told  her  to  bet  some  of 
her  small  change  and  not  be  so  extravagant  with  her 
money. 

She  joined  me  in  a  hearty  laugh  and  our  noonday 
meal  was  over. 

I  ran  back  to  my  room,  while  Eva  to  the  parlor 
went  and  began  playing,  "See  That  My  Grave's  Kept 
Green,"  my  favorite  she  knew. 


28  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

I  did  not  remain  long  in  my  room — just  long  enough 
to  kneel  and  ask  God's  blessing  upon  the  step  I  was 
about  to  take.  Then  the  thought  occurred  to  me  that 
perhaps  mother  had  returned  and  I  would  yet  have 
the  pleasure  of  bidding  her  goodbye,  at  any  rate,  so 
I  ventured  down  to  her  room,  but  was  doomed  to  dis- 
appointment, as  she  had  not  returned,  and  the  still- 
ness of  death  reigned  within. 

Ah!  what  a  feeling  came  o'er  me  when  I  realized 
that  I  was  gazing  perhaps  for  the  last  time  upon  the 
scenes  of  my  girlhood. 

Why  did  not  Fate  interfere  and  cause  me  to  remain 
within  the  portals  of  the  dear  old  home  instead  of 
venturing  out  alone  and  unprotected,  as  it  were,  into 
the  cold  and  cruel  world? 

Alas!  I  could  not  see  until  it  was  too  late;  but 
Time's  a  great  healer,  and  it  may  yet  pour  its  sooth- 
ing potion  upon  my  torn  and  bleeding  heart,  causing 
me  to  exclaim,  "It  was  all  for  the  best." 

When  I  found  that  mother  was  not  within  her 
room,  I  said  to  myself,  "Perhaps  it  is  better  so,  as  it 
would  only  add  to  her  suffering  to  say  goodbye  to  me 
after  all  these  years  of  care  and  painstaking  in  order 
that  she  might  behold  the  fruits  of  her  labor  by  see- 
ing me,  her  eldest  child,  become  the  wife  of  some 
good  and  noble  man";  and  now  that  I  was  going  to 
disappoint  her,  I  thought  it  best  to  go  without  wound- 
ing her  feelings  any  more. 

I  penned  a  hasty  note,  however,  and  left  it  upon 
the  dresser.  In  my  note  I  implored  mother  to  forgive 
and  forget  the  act  I  was  about  to  commit  and  to 
think  of  me  kindly  when  far  away. 

I  then  rapped  gently  upon  the  parlor  door.  Eva 
opened  it  immediately  and  I  said,  "Well,  little  sister, 
I  must  be  going  now,  so  come  kiss  me  goodbye,  as 


A   DESERTED   WIFE.  29 

you  may  never  have  the  opportunity  of  doing  so 
again." 

She  placed  her  arms  around  my  neck  and  I  noticed 
tears  gathering  in  her  eyes.  After  kissing  me  twice, 
she  said,  "Ida,  please  do  not  go,  but  remain  with  us." 

I  felt  a  great  lump  rising  in  my  throat,  and  it  was 
sometime  before  I  could  reply  to  her  remarks.  Finally 
I  did  so,  by  saying,  "No,  Eva,  I  can  uot,  as  I  have 
promised  John  to  meet  him  without  fail,  and  it's  now 
near  the  hour." 

On  seeing  that  I  was  determined  to  go  she  ex- 
claimed, "Well,  Ida,  I  am  not  going  to  cry  any  more, 
but  will  present  you  with  a  large  Buckingham  apple 
instead,  as  I  am  afraid  you  will  be  compelled  to  retire 
supperless,  and  it  will  also  be  a  souvenir  of  your  de- 
parture." 

I  thanked  her  for  being  so  thoughtful  in  regard  to 
the  apple.  I  then  picked  up  my  hat  and  gloves,  which 
were  lying  on  the  piano.  As  I  did  so  I  slipped  sister's 
gift  under  a  sheet  of  music.  I  did  not  want  her  to 
know  but  what  I  had  concealed  it  somewhere  about 
my  person  and  fully  intended  taking  it  with  me. 

Now,  everything  was  in  readiness  for  my  fatal 
leap,  as  mother  termed  it.  and  I  was  only  waiting  for 
the  old  town  clock  to  chime  out  half-past  2.  I  in- 
tended leaving  home  at  this  time  in  order  that  I 
might  spend  a  few  moments  with  a  friend  of  mine 
before  meeting  John. 

After  putting  on  hat  and  gloves  I  placed  my  arm 
around  Eva's  waist  and  pressed  my  lips  to  hers  once 
more  ere  I  became  a  bride. 

Neither  of  us  spoke  and  I  passed  out  through  the 
parlor  door,  closing  it  behind  me.  On  reaching  the 
hallway  I  could  go  no  further,  but  stood  gazing 
around,  feeling  as  one  who  had  or  was  about  to  com- 


30  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

mit  some  terrible  deed.  My  limbs  refused  to  move 
and  I  felt  as  if  glued  to  the  spot. 

Finally  I  moved  on,  and  shall  never  forget  the  last 
call  I  made  upon  my  friend.  She  was  expecting  me 
and  gave  me  a  cordial  reception,  saying,  "Ida,  I  am 
glad  you  decided  to  spend  the  remaining  moments  of 
your  girlhood  with  me." 

We  chatted  pleasantly  for  some  time;  then  I  re- 
marked that  I  had  better  be  going,  as  I  did  not  care 
to  disappoint  my  lover  by  being  a  few  minutes  late. 

I  bade  my  friend  an  affectionate  goodbye,  and  at 
the  same  time  insisted  that  she  accompany  me  as  far 
as  the  Baptist  church.  I  had  promised  John  to  meet 
him  there,  as  papa  and  mamma  had  forbidden  him 
calling  for  me  at  my  own  home. 

Miss  Hollister  and  I  had  scarcely  left  her  father's 
residence  when  she  exclaimed,  "O,  Ida,  look,  yonder 
comes  John  now.  I  wonder  why  he  did  not  wait  for 
you  at  the  church?  I  suppose  he  became  impatient 
and  thought  he  would  come  in  search  of  you." 

John  noticed  my  friend  and  I  coming  toward  him, 
so  drew  rein  right  in  front  of  E.  J.  Reynold's  tobacco 
factory  and  waited  for  us. 

On  reaching  him  he  clasped  my  hand  in  his,  saying, 
"Well,  I  guess  you  are  mine  now,  regardless  of  all 
your  father's  threats." 

He  then  drew  forth  a  brand  new  Smith  &  Wesson 
pistol,  remarking  as  he  did  so  that  if  my  father  at- 
tempted to  follow  us  he  would  receive  a  bullet  through 
his  heart. 

I  insisted  on  his  putting  the  ugly  weapon  out  of 
sight,  as  it  only  reminded  me  of  death,  and  such  a 
thought  should  not  occur  to  us  on  the  eve  of  our 
marriage. 

My  lover  then  said,  "All  right,  little  one,  just  as 
mi    . 


A   DESERTED   WIFE.  31 

you  say ;  I  am  your  slave  from  this  time  forth.  And 
where  shall  we  drive  to  first?" 

I  remarked  that  I  had  thought  of  calling  on  Miss 
Nading  before  repairing  to  Mr.  Pegram's  residence. 
So  we  drove  up  Liberty  street  to  the  home  of  my 
friend,  and  after  remaining  there  a  short  while  we 
then  set  out  for  T.  H.  Pegram's,  on  Old  Town  street, 
where  we  were  to  be  made  one. 

Upon  our  arrival  there,  someone  remarked  that 
guards  had  better  be  placed  at  the  gate,  as  my  father 
was  superintending  the  painting  of  F.  Gr.  Orutchfield's 
residence,  and  that  he  might  interfere  while  the  mar- 
riage ceremony  was  being  performed. 

I  remember  of  Mr.  Pegram's  telling  me  not  to  take 
the  time  to  fasten  my  gloves,  as  he  was  afraid  father 
was  going  to  cause  trouble. 

He  did  not,  however,  and  everything  passed  off 
just  as  if  though  it  had  been  in  church,  with  papa 
and  mamma  waiting  to  congratulate  me  upon  my 
choice  and  wishing  me  all  the  happiness  possible. 

Ah !  I  was  so  happy  then ;  the  dark  future  I  could 
not  see. 

I  did  not  become  frightened  until  a  few  moments 
after  being  married,  and  would  not  have  done  so  then 
if  it  had  not  been  for  Mr.  W.  Y.  Eevelle  introducing 
me  to  L.  L.  Stein  as  Mrs.  John  Beard. 

We  had  quite  a  swell  wedding,  as  several  of  our 
friends  had  gathered  at  Mr.  Pegram's  residence  to 
witness  the  marriage  ceremony.  Miss  Lelia  Webb 
played  the  wedding  march,  and  we  were  as  happy  as 
bride  and  groom  ever  were. 


32  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

CHAPTER  II. 

SOME  INTERESTING  STATEMENTS  AND  FACTS. 

After  receiving  the  congratulations  of  our  friends, 
we  repaired  to  W.  H.  Beard's  residence  on  Main 
street. 

Upon  arriving  there  we  found  his  wife  very  ill, 
suffering  with  a  disease  from  which  she  afterwards 
died,  or,  at  least  it  was  thought  so  by  the  outside 
world;  but  I  would  suggest  that  the  public  question 
closely  W.  H.  Beard  in  regard  to  an  overdose  of  chlo- 
ral administered  by  him  to  his  wife  a  few  hours  pre- 
vious to  her  death. 

At  that  time  the  venerable  old  Dr.  R.  D.  Hay,  who 
has  slumbered  beneath  the  sod  these  many  years,  was 
charged  with  the  above  crime,  but  I  for  one  believe 
him  to  have  been  as  innocent  as  a  newborn  babe  of 
the  charges  preferred  against  him. 

Shortly  after  breath  had  left  Mrs.  Beard's  body  her 
husband,  W.  H.  Beard,  stepped  to  the  mantel  and 
took  therefrom  a  small  phial,  placed  it  into  his  coat 
pocket  and  then  summoned  the  physician  at  once. 
Upon  Dr.  Hay's  arrival  he  called  for  the  phial  con- 
taining the  remaining  portion  of  the  deathly  drug, 
but  it  was  nowhere  to  be  found.  I  alone  had  been 
an  eye-witness  to  the  concealing  of  the  bottle. 

Whether  the  one  stored  snugly  away  in  Mr.  Beard's 
pocket  was  the  one  in  question  I  do  not  know,  but  to 
the  best  of  my  knowledge  and  belief  think  it  to  have 
been  the  same-  On  the  following  day,  after  Mrs. 
Beard  had  been  borne  to  her  last  resting  place,  and 
the  family  once  more  at  home,  W.  H.  Beard,  think- 
ing himself  alone  in  the  room,  stepped  to  the  mantel, 


A    DESERTED    WIFE.  66 

thou  placed  his  hand  into  his  pocket  as  if  in  search  of 
something,  and  afterwards  remarked  that  "no  one 
would  ever  know." 

John  remarked  on  taking  me  to  his  father's  resi- 
dence that  Ave  would  only  remain  there  a  few  weeks, 
then  go  to  housekeeping  to  ourselves;  but  owing  to 
the  death  of  his  mother  we  remained  four  months  in- 
stead of  a  few  weeks. 

Oh!  those  miserable  months  I  passed  while  being 
compelled  to  reside  beneath  W.  H.  Beard's  roof. 

I  spent  some  of  the  most  wretched  moments  of  my 
life  there;  and  they,  like  many  other  things,  will 
■lever  be  erased  from  memory's  page. 

After  1113'  mother-in-law's  death  all  the  responsi- 
bility of  housekeeping  fell  upon  my  young  shoulders, 
and  not  only  the  housekeeping  exclusively,  but  hail 
two  small  children  left  in  my  care  also. 

Dora,  the  eldest  girl,  was  of  an  obstinate  nature, 
and  I  could  scarcely  do  anything  at  all  with  her,  so 
far  as  training  was  concerned. 

Jennie,  the  younger  of  the  two,  possessed  a  very 
affectionate  disposition,  therefore  was  more  easily 
managed,  and,  of  course,  this  caused  me  to  become 
attached  to  her  at  once,  and  I  did  a  great  deal  more 
for  her  than  for  Dora. 

Now,  all  this  housekeeping  and  managing  children 
was  entirely  new  to  me,  as  I  had  never  had  any  ex- 
perience in  this  line  before;  I  did  my  best,  however, 
and  took  great  delight  in  making  everything  appear 
neat  and  clean  about  my  father-in-law's  residence. 

I  would  always  tidy  up  his  room  with  my  own 
hands,  and  on  returning  from  his  daily  labor  he  was 
sure  to  find  a  cheerful  lire  burning  upon  the  hearth- 
I  also  took  great  delight  in  having  his /avorite  dish 
in  readiness  when  meal  time  came" 
9 


34        .  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OK 

I  have  often  wondered  since  why  it  was  I  made 
myself  such  a  slave  for  one  who  was  not  at  all  capable. 
of  appreciating  my  worth. 

My  father-in-law  would  say  to  me,  "Well,  I  declare, 
you  are  doing  better  than  I  thought  you  would;  so 
just  keep  on  in  the  way  you  have  started  and  you 
will  make  John  a  real  good  housekeeper  after  all." 

I  suppose  he  meant  a  slave,  or  at  least  one  would 
have  thought  so  from  the  amount  of  work  allotted 
me  during  the  day.  I  bore  with  him  for  awhile,  then 
made  up  my  mind  that  I  wasn't  going  to  be  a  slave  for 
the  whole  Beard  family  any  longer,  as  I  did  not  bar- 
gain for  butone  of  them,  so  informed  John  accordingly 
when  he  returned  home  that  evening.  I  told  him 
that  I  was  willing  to  work  for  he  and  I  until  I  droppsd 
dead,  but  not  for  the  other  members  of  his  family. 

Then  he  and  his  father  held  a  private  conversation 
and  afterwards  promised  me  a  home  of  my  own,  but 
did  not  state  how  soon  I  was  to  take  possession. 

However,  I  went  to  work  again  with  a  right  good 
will,  doing  willingly  whatever  my  hands  found  to 
do.  But  oh,  the  hard  battles  I  was  compelled  to  fight, 
all  for  my  husband's  sake. 

His  sister  Dora  and  brother  Clarence  did  every- 
thing within  their  power  to  tease  and  worry  me.  They 
would  come  to  the  door  of  my  room  and  say,  "Ida, 
bring  out  mother's  bed,  chairs  and  carpet,  then  what 
would  you  and  John  have?  Nothing  but  the  bare 
room." 

Not  being  satisfied  with  saying  all  this,  they  would 
begin  knocking  upon  the  door  as  if  they  fully  in- 
tended it  should  fall  to  the  floor.  They  would  con- 
tinue at  this  rate  until  I  was  forced  to  open  the  door, 
only  to  have  them  enter  for  the  purpose  of  upsetting 
and  soiling  everything  within  the  room. 


A   DESERTED    WIFE.  35 

Dora  would  say,  "Oh !  Clarence,  just  look  at  Ida's 
nice,  clean  curtains;  come,  let's  make  a  black  spot 
upon  them.''  The  words  would  scarcely  leave  her  lips 
ere  the  print  of  her  smutty  hands  would  be  left  upon 
the  curtain. 

This  was  a  little  too  much  for  me,  and  I  made 
up  my  mind  to  have  a  home  of  my  own,  if  I  had 
to  live  in  a  rail  pen  with  a  ground  floor.  And  on 
finding  John  to  be  a  person  who  could  be  easily  per- 
suaded into  doing  almost  anything,  I  began  insisting 
that  we  move  away  from  our'  tormentors  as  early  as 
possible. 

I  not  only  received  cruel  treatment  at  the  hands  of 
the  children,  but  .their  father's  also. 

On  seeing  that  I  was  determined  not  to  cook  and 
work  myself  to  death  for  the  whole  family,  he  began 
locking  up  everything  within  reach  of  me.  I  was  not 
allowed  a  mouthful  to  eat,  and  I  suppose  if  it  had  not 
been  for  Mrs.  B.  J.  Shepherd  and  others  I  would  have 
perished  during  the  last  few  days  I  remained. 

Oh !  how  many  castles  in  the  air  I  built  while 
awaiting  my  husband's  return  home  from  the  store 
at  night.  I  would  often  say  to  him,  "Pet,  we  will 
be  very  happy  when  once  we  are  living  together  in  a 
little  home  of  our  own;  won't  we?" 

But,  somehow,  he  never  seemed  to  like  the  idea  of 
going  to  housekeeping,  and  would  always  insist  upon 
our  remaining  with  his  father  for  awhile  longer. 

I,  being  of  a  domestic  turn  of  mind,  knew  that  we 
would  be  far  happier  in  a  home  of  our  own  than  with 
Ms  father,  or  anyone  else,  so  persisted  in  having  a 
little  cottage  all  to  ourselves,  where  we  would  not"  be 
called  upon  to  set  out  mother's  furniture,  but  would 
try  if  possible  to  accumulate  a  few  pieces  of  our  own. 

When  John  saw  that  I  was  bent  upon  keeping  house 


36  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

for  us  two,  and  us  two  only,  he  began  looking  around 
for  a  suitable  place,  but  found  it  to  be  quite  a  task  to 
do  so,  or  at  least  to  find  one  where  he  could  pay  the 
rent. 

He  at  last  heard  of  a  little  two-room  cottage  on 
Depot  street,  owned  by  Peter  George,  Esq.  Mr.  George 
informed  us  that  we  might  become  tenants  of  his  by 
paying  f 7  per  month  for  the  House  he  had  to  let.  We 
accepted  the  offer,  and  on  January  1,  1881,  John  and 
I  took  our  first  lesson  in  real  housekeeping. 

I  will  never  forget  the  first  meal  we  partook  of  in 
the  home  we  had  established.  It  consisted  of  light- 
bread,  or  so-called  baker's  bread,  butter  and  sugar. 

The  few  pieces  of  furniture  purchased  by  us  had 
not  been  delivered  yet,  so  we  were  compelled  to  par- 
take of  our  dinner  in  Turkish  fashion,  by  sitting  on 
the  floor  before  the  fire  with  our  food  beside  us. 

We  would  each  take  a  slice  of  bread,  then  spread 
on  the  butter  and  sugar,  with  no  thought  of  economy. 

When  the  furniture  arrived,  I  began  placing  it 
around  the  room  where  it  would  show  to  the  best 
advantage.  I  worked  on  in  this  way  for  an  hour  or 
two,  then  asked  John  to  assist  me  in  giving  the  fin- 
ishing touches  to  everything,  as  I  was  beginning  to 
feel  somewhat  tired. 

He  seemed  to  have  no  desire  to  lend  me  a  helping 
hand,  and  I  soon  found  out  that  he  was  not  at  all 
domestic,  and  that  all  the  housekeeping  had  fallen  to 
my  lot  again,  and  I  would  have  no  one  to  share  life's 
burden  with  me. 

I  had  a  great  deal  of  perseverance,  however,  and 
consoled  myself  with  the  thought  that  perhaps  in 
time  my  husband  would  become  interested  in  domestic 
affairs,  and  I  would  yet  have  the  pleasure  of  knowing 
that  it  Avas  I  and  I  alone  who  taught  him  his  first  les- 
son in  domesticity. 


A    DESERTED    WIFE.  37 

But  I  learned  to  my  sorrow  that  I  was  never  to 
realize  that  which  I  had  hoped  for,  as  John  cared  only 
for  hunting,  fishing  and  making  a  collection  of  differ- 
ent kinds  of  minerals. 

This  occupation  often  caused  him  to  be  minus  his 
meals  for  days  at  a  time,  and  also  gave  me  a  great 
deal  of  uneasiness.  Each  time  he  failed  to  make  his 
appearance  at  the  usual  hour  I  would  think  someone 
had  killed  him. 

On  returning  from  his  hunting  expeditions  he  would 
promise  me  never  to  go  again,  but  his  promises  were 
like  piecrust — easily  broken — so  I  at  last  made  up 
my  mind  to  let  him  have  his  own  way,  and  if  trouble 
came  to  him  he  must  accept  it  as  his  share. 

It  seemed  as  if  though  nothing  gave  John  more 
pleasure  than  to  relate  to  me  how  near  he  would  come 
to  losing  his  life  while  out  hunting.  I  suppose  he  did 
this  in  order  to  tease  and  frighten  me,  or  at  least  I 
tried  to  think  so  at  the  time. 

My  husband  did  a  great  many  things  I  did  not  ap- 
prove of,  one  thing  especially,  and  that  was  fighting 
uame  chickens  on  the  Holy  Sabbath  day.  He  and  his 
friend,  A.  L.  Payne,  would  start  out  early  on  Sunday 
morning  for  the  purpose  of  witnessing  a  chicken 
battle.  They  would  repair  to  some  place  just  beyond 
the  city  limits  and  remain  until  late  in  the  evening. 
Upon  their  return  I  was  very  often  called  upon  to  pre- 
pare for  our  evening  meal  a  poor  bird  who  happened  to 
have  both  eyes  plucked  entirely  out  during  the  battle. 

These  chicken  battles  worried  me  no  little.  I  re- 
member of  one  incident  in  particular.  I  had  dressed 
myself  for  the  purpose  of  attending  services  at  the. 
Baptist  church,  bat  owing  to  my  husband's  proposed 
chicken  tight  I  Avas  compelled  to  remain  at  home.  I 
read  my  Bible,  however,  and  passed  the  remaining 
portion  of  the  day  as  best  I  could. 


38  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

I  was  not  alone  in  my  trouble  on  account  of  these 
hunting  expeditions,  as  John  caused  Mrs.  Leroy  Tise 
a  great  deal  of  mental  anxiety  also  by  persuading  Mr. 
T.  to  accompany  him  on  several  occasions. 

Mrs.  Tise  has  since  remarked  that  my  husband 
would  do  well  to  remain  away  from  Winston,  as  she 
intended  making  things  warm  for  him  on  his  return. 

Another  trait  of  John's,  for  which  he  was  widely 
known,  was  cutting  different  designs  upon  canes. 
Very  often  the  wee  hours  of  morning  found  him  en- 
gaged in  this  way. 

Now,  you  must  bear  in  mind  that  my  husband  did 
not  sit  up  alone  during  this  time,  but  would  force  me 
to  remain  with  him  until  he  was  ready  to  retire.  Then, 
after  a  few  moments  rest  I  arose  for  the  purpose  of 
shining  his  boots,  building  fires  and  preparing  our 
morning  repast.  This  being  done,  I  would  begin  clear- 
ing away  the  litter  made  by  John  while  whittling  his 
sticks  a  few  hours  previous. 

I  never  complained  of  the  litter  he  made,  nor  the 
amount  of  work  I  was  compelled  to  do  on  his  account ; 
but,  on  the  other  hand,  led  him  to  believe  I  thought 
it  a  mere  nothing,  and  that  I  was  never  happier  than 
when  engaged  in  doing  something  for  him.  All  that 
I  complained  of  was  his  Sunday  chicken  fighting  and 
hunting  expeditions. 

John  also  had  quite  a  mania  for  the  skating  rink 
and  would  often  spend  the  greater  portion  of  his  time 
and  earnings  there.  After  passing  an  evening  at  the 
above-named  place  he  would  come  lagging  home  and 
say  to  me,  "Well,  Ida,  have  we  any  supper  or  not?  I 
was  just  wondering  whether  we  would  and  what  it 
would  be.  I  only  had  a  nickel  left  after  paying  my 
fees  at  the  rink,  so  take  it  and  go  buy  whatever  you 
like." 


A   DESERTED   WIFE.  39 

I  would  look  at  my  husband,  then  at  the  coin,  say- 
ing, "John,  you  know  it  isn't  much  that  we  can  pur- 
chase with  a  nickel  j  however,  I  will  do  the  best  I  can 
toward  getting  something  you  will  enjoy." 

My  husband  carried  in  his  pocket  a  peculiar  kind  of 
whistle,  which  he  always  brought  into  use  when  call- 
ing "Mice,"  his  little  pet  dog.  He  also  used  the 
whistle  as  a  signal  when  we  were  to  have  something- 
nice  for  supper.  Oh !  how  my  heart  sank  within  me 
Avhen  I  failed  to  hear  the  familiar  sound  before  hear- 
ing his  footsteps  upon  the  veranda,  for  then  it  was  I 
knew  that  we  would  be  compelled  to  retire  supperless. 

Our  early  married  life  reminded  me  of  Charles 
Dickens  and  Dora,  his  first  wife.  You  remember 
what  an  awful  time  they  had  with  their  housekeep- 
ing. Their  larder  was  always  empty,  and  so  was  ours, 
as  it  was  very  seldom  John  ever  bought  more  than  a 
nickel's  worth  of  anything  at  a  time,  and  expected 
me  to  make  it  last  quite  a  long,  long  while,  and  also 
to  prepare  lots  of  good  things  from  this. 

I  always  tried  to  have  something  nice  for  Sunday, 
then  on  Saturday  eve  my  father-in-law  and  the  child- 
dren  would  come  over  to  sit  until  bedtime,  notwith- 
standing they  very  well  knew  I  did  not  care  to  have 
them  around  me. 

Before  taking  their  departure  at  10  p.  m.  John 
would  say,  "Ida,  go  get  papa  and  the  kids  some  of 
the  cake  you  baked  to-day."  Oh  !  how  I  hated  to  cut 
it;  but,  in  order  to  please  my  husband,  did  so. 

After  eating  what  I  had  placed  before  them  they 
would  say,  "John,  do  you  know  what  this  tastes 
like?  Why  more,  course,"  and  very  soon  the  remain- 
ing portion  of  the  cake  I  prized  so  highly  would  dis- 
appear, leaving  me  nothing  for  Sunday's  dessert, 

John  and  I  lived  on  together  in  this  way  for  eleven 


40  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

months.  Then  a  little  boy  came  to  brighten  our 
home.  We  afterwards  called  him  Ilobah,  in  honor  of 
Dr.  R.  F.  Gray. 

My  husband  seemed  perfectly  devoted  to  our  boy 
until  he  was  between  four  and  five  months  old.  Then 
all  at  once  the  fond  father  displayed  a  coolness  for  the 
little  lad.  Why  it  was  I  could  not  well  make  out, 
unless  it  was  on  account  of  my  divided  affection  be- 
tween father  and  son. 

John  often  remarked  that  I  seemed  to  think  more 
of  the  boy  than  of  him.  I  laughingly  told  him  one 
day  I  believed  he  was  jealous  of  the  babe.  He  then 
said,  "Well,  there  is  one  thing  certain,  I  don't  like  to 
have  a  kid  come  between  you  and  I." 

I  said,  "All  right,  darling,  I  will  cease  to  care  for 
our  child  and  devote  my  whole  life  to  you,  and  you 
only" ;  so,  whenever  John  was  present  I  tried  to  study 
his  ways  and  do  everything  within  my  power  to  en- 
tertain and  please  him,  but  the  moment  he  was  out 
of  sight  I  turned  to  my  boy,  giving  him  a  mother's 
love  and  attention. 

When  he  was  about  three  months  old  my  husband 
left  me  for  the  first  time  in  order  to  attend  the  York- 
town  Centennial.  I  thought  it  would  kill  me  to  be 
separated  from  John  for  a  single  day,  let  alone  one 
long,  long  week;  but  when  I  saw  that  he  was  deter- 
mined to  go,  I  made  up  my  mind  to  bear  the  separa- 
tion as  best  I  could,  so  took  little  Robah  and  went  to 
stay,  with  my  parents  until  John's  return. 

I  passed  a  lonesome  week,  notwithstanding  Sister 
Flora's  efforts  to  make  me  do  otherwise.  I  made  sure 
my  husband  would  be  killed  ere  he  reached  Winston 
again. 

I  will  never  forget  his  home-coming.  I  remember 
it  was  on  Saturday,  about  2  p.  m.,  when  lie  arrived, 
nil  sun-burned  from  exposure  at  Yorktown. 


A   DESERTED   WIFE.  41 

John  seemed  perfectly  delighted  to  see  baby  and  I. 
We  remained  with  my  parents  that  night  and  the 
following  day  went  back  to  our  own  little  cottage  on 
Depot  street.  On  arriving  there  we  found  the  larder 
entirely  empty,  but  I  told  my  husband  it  didn't  mat- 
ter, as  I  was  only  too  glad  to  have  him  at  home  with 
me  once  more. 

We  did  without  food  until  the  next  day.  Of  course 
I  could  have  brought  something  from  father's,  but 
would  much  rather  have  died  than  to  have  let  my 
people  know  that  John  did  not  keep  me  supplied  with 
the  necessaries  of  life. 

After  my  husband's  return  from  Yorktown  he 
seemed  dissatisfied  with  his  surroundings  and  never 
cared  to  remain  at  home  for  any  length  of  time,  and 
would  often  remark  that  he  was  going  to  get  a  posi- 
tion travelling.  I  could  never  get  him  to  abandon  the 
idea,  and  while  in  this  frame  of  mind  God  gave  us 
another  boy.  I  was  almost  sorry  the  little  fellow  had 
arrived,  as  I  was  afraid  my  husbaud  would  form  a 
dislike  for  him  also.  But  somehow  or  another  he 
became  attached  to  this  one  immediately  upon  his 
arrival  and  took  great  delight  in  trying  to  amuse  him. 

For  some  reason  God  did  not  intend  that  little  Ber- 
tram should  remain  long  with  us,  and  when  he  was 
only  sixteen  months  old  he  was  called  from  earth 
back  to  his  heavenly  home. 

I  came  near  losing  my  mind  upon  the  death  of  this 
precious  babe.  I  will  always  remember  his  bright 
blue  eyes  and  golden  curls.  One  of  the  latter  I  have 
in  my  possession  now.  Yes,  I  have  in  my  possession 
one  tiny  golden  curl.  It  is  my  blue-eyed  baby's  curl. 
I  also  own  one  spot  of  earth,  my  baby's  grave,  and 
mine  alone. 

Twelve  months  after  the  death  of  little  Bertram 


42  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

another  stranger  arrived  in  our  household.  My  hus- 
band and  I  were  at  a  loss  at  first  as  to  what  we  should 
call  him,  but  finally  decided  upon  naming  our  third 
boy  Basil  Gray,  in  honor  again  of  the  family  physi- 
cian, so  now  we  have  Robah  Gray  in  our  midst,  and 
very  proud  are  we  of  the  name. 

Two  months  previous  to  baby  Basil's  birth  the 
death  angel  visited  my  father's  residence  and  bore 
away  from  earth  to  heaven  Sister  Eva.  On  Sunday 
morning,  September  20,  1885,  after  six  weeks  of  suf- 
fering and  solicitous  watching,  little  Eva  passed  over 
to  the  Golden  Shore,  at  the  age  of  14  years  4  months 
and  23  days. 

It  was  a  touching  yet  glorious  scene  which  trans- 
pired a  few  hours  before  Death  unlocked  to  her 
sainted  spirit  the  portals  of  Eternal  Life.  After  call- 
ing papa  and  mamma,  my  two  remaining  sisters  and 
I  to  her  bedside,  she,  with  earnestness  in  her  weary, 
flute-like  voice,  asked  for  the  assurance  that  we 
would  all  meet  her  in  the  home  of  God,  telling  us 
that  Jesus  and  the  angels  were  with  her,  and  that  she 
would  soon  be  safely  on  the  Golden  Shore. 

About  4  a.  m.  little  Eva  gave  herself  into  the  hands 
of  Jesus,  and  after  a  short  prayer,  in  which  she  plead 
that  she  might  be  spared  to  see  another  precious  Sab- 
bath, the  sweet  flower  ceased  to  speak  and  it  was 
apparent  to  all  that  the  end  was  nigh.  She  remained 
peaceful  and  quiet  until  about  8  o'clock,  when  she 
fell  gently  into  those  slumbers  from  which  God's 
children  never  wake  to  weep. 

"lis  hard  to  part  when  friends  are  dear.  I  weep 
when  I  think  that  her  merry,  ringing  laugh  will  never 
again  gladden  my  heart;  her  footsteps  will  make  no 
more  music  as  they  rush  to  meet  me;  but,  through 
the  dense  shadows,  I  know  that  Eva  still  lives  amid 


A  DESERTED  WIPE.  43 

the  transporting  prospects  of  the  Heavenly  City,  and 
that  it  Avill  not  be  long  before  I  shall  press  the  sands 
of  gold  and  revel  in  Heaven's  splendors  yet  untold; 
then  I  shall  know  that  it  was  God,  and  He  did  as  He 
thought  best. 

Sister  was  perfectly  devoted  to  her  Sabbath  School 
class,  and  her  last  request  upon  earth  was,  "Maniina, 
after  I  am  gone  take  the  pennies  I  hold  in  my  hand 
and  give  them  to  my  Sunday  School  teacher.  Then 
send  a  message  to  Aunt  Maria,  who  lives  in  far-away 
California,  that  I  am  dead."  With  these  remarks  she 
breathed  her  last. 

The  day  following  her  death  was  a  dismal  one,  but, 
as  Dr.  Rondthaler  remarked  on  the  way  to  the  ceme- 
tery, it  was  in  keeping  with  our  feelings.  Notwith- 
standing the  inclemency  of  the  weather,  quite  a  host 
of  friends  and  relatives  turned  out  to  pay  their  last 
tribute  of  respect  to  little  Eva  by  attending  her  funeral 
and  burial.  Her  Sabbath  School  class,  and  also  the 
day  school  she  attended,  joined  in  the  procession;  so, 
amid  showers  of  rain,  tears  and  flowers,  we  commit- 
ted her  remains  to  earth. 

After  the  death  of  my  sister,  it  seemed  as  if  though 
I  had  nothing  to  live  for,  with  the  exception  of  my 
boy,  so  I  gave  him  my  full  attention,  often  amusing 
him  for  hours  at  a  time  by  relating  stories  of  the  cruel 
war,  in  which  my  father  fought.  I  can  almost  see 
little  Robah  now  as  he  clapped  his  hands  with  child- 
ish glee  when  I  tried  to  imitate  the  cannon's  roar  and 
the  rattle  of  the  kettledrum. 

About  that  time  I  also  began  teaching  my  boy  the 
English  alphabet.  I  had  a  peculiar  method  of  doing 
so.  I  would  take  a  long,  sharp  stick  and  form  the 
different  letters  upon  the  ground.  I  adopted  this  plan 
in  order  to  please  and  instruct  him  at  the  same  time. 


44  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

Then,  at  nightfall,  when  my  husband  returned  home 
from  his  work,  or  hunting  expeditions,  I  would  relate 
to  him  how  baby  and  I  had  passed  the  day. 

Oh !  how  many  lonely  hours  we  were  compelled  to 
spend  together,  as  John  seemed  to  have  more  than  a 
mania  for  frequenting  the  theatre  and  other  places  of 
amusement.  I  often  asked  him  whether  he  din't 
think  he  would  be  far  happier  at  home  with  Bobah 
and  I.  The  only  reply  he  made  was  this,  "Well,  Ida, 
I  will  soon  be  through  sowing  my  wild  oats;  then  I 
will  remain  with  you."  I  used  to  say  to  myself, 
"Will  that  time  ever  come?" 

The  night  baby  Basil  was  born  my  husband  re- 
marked to  me  on  coining  to  supper  that  he  would  not 
be  home  until  about  11  o'clock,  as  he  would  be  coin- 
polled  to  remain  at  the  store  in  order  to  mark  a  bill 
of  goods. 

Of  course  I  thought  what  he  told  me  was  true,  and 
never  doubted  it  in  the  least,  and  when  I  was  taken 
violently  ill  I  dispatched  a  messenger  to  the  store  in 
order  to  inform  my  husband,  but  he  was  nowhere  to 
be  found,  and  the  boy  was  in  the  act  of  returning 
home  without  him  when  someone  remarked  that  he 
thought  Mr.  Beard  was  at  the  theatre.  Sure  enough, 
there  he  was,  sitting  right  up  in  front  of  the  foot- 
lights when  Usher  White  informed  him  that  he  was 
wanted  at  the  door. 

Now,  I  knew  nothing  at  all  of  this  affair  until  sev- 
eral days  afterwards;  just  thought  that  John  came 
from  the  store  when  sent  for,  and  it  was  by  mere 
chance  I  learned  otherwise.  But  murder  will  out, 
and  my  husband  gave  himself  away  before  knowing  it. 
I  have  always  imagined  since  that  he  felt  guilty  over 
what  he  had  done  and  that  was  why  he  spoke  so  un- 
thoughtedly. 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  45 

A  few  days  after  the  birth  of  our  child  John  was 
sitting  in  the  room  and  all  at  once  he  began  laughing 
to  himself.  I  asked  the  cause  of  his  mirth,  lie  re- 
marked that  he  just  happened  to  think  of  something 
one  of  the  characters  in  "Esmeralda"  had  said  a  few 
nights  before. 

I  then  asked  him  what  he  had  referred  to,  and  he 
said,  "Oh,  I  see  I  have  given  myself  completely  away, 
so  I  suppose  I  might  as  well  tell  you  about  it." 

Then  and  there  I  lost  confidence  in  the  man  I 
thought  the  one  among  all  others. 

Oh!  God,  my  life  was  a  burden  to  me  from  that 
time  forth,  but  I  still  hoped  for  the  better,  thinking 
perhaps  there  would  yet  be  a  change  in  regard  to 
John's  mode  of  living. 

Instead  of  what  I  had  hoped  for,  the  worse  came, 
and  one  evening  my  husband  informed  me  that  he 
had  accepted  a  position  at  travelling  and  would  start 
in  a  few  days,  as  he  was  tired  of  remaining  in  Wins- 
ton, and  thought  his  health  would  be  better  else- 
where. 

I  told  him  I  did  not  think  he  needed  a  tonic  of  this 
kind,  as  he  never  looked  better  than  at  present.  He 
paid  no  attention  to  my  remarks,  and  about  the  mid- 
dle of  July,  188G,  he  started  out  upon  his  first  trip, 
sidling  tobacco  for  T.  L.  Vaughn,  a  wealthy  manu- 
facturer of  our  city. 

After  remaining  away  for  about  six  weeks  his  em- 
ployers ordered  him  home,  for  what  reason  I  have 
never  been  able  to  learn,  or  at  least  to  learn  anything 
definite.  I  have  heard  several  times  that  it  was  on 
account  of  his  extravagance  in  regard  to  stopping  at 
the  best  hotels,  etc.  Whether  this  report  be  true  I 
do  not  kuow,  but  there  is  one  thing  I  do  know,  and 
that  is,  he  never  made  the  second  trip  for  f .  L. 
Vaughn,  or  anyone  else. 


46  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

Upon  his  return  home  he  seemed  more  dissatisfied 
than  ever  with  his  surroundings  and  took  great  de- 
light in  relating  to  me  how  many  pleasant  evenings 
lie  had  spent  with  his  lady  friends  while  in  Knox- 
ville,  Tenn.,  and  other  places.  He  seemed  to  admire 
one  certain  married  lady,  or  woman,  in  particular,  or 
at  least  would  refer  to  her  more  frequently  than  to 
the  rest. 

I  paid  no  attention  to  all  this  at  first,  just  took  it 
as  a  joke  until  I  at  last  realized  that  John  really 
meant  what  he  said  and  seemed  anxious  that  I  should 
think  the. same. 

Well,  such  things  are  calculated  to  bring  about  the 
family  stew,  and  this  affair  caused  no  little  one  in 
ours.  I  plainly  told  my  husband  that  I  was  sick  and 
tired  of  all  this,  and,  furthermore,  he  could  pack  his 
grip,  or  I  would  mine,  and  put  an  end  to  the  life 
which  had  grown  to  be  a  burden  to  both  of  us. 

When  he  saw  I  was  determined  to  retaliate  in 
regard  to  his  conduct  he  at  once  informed  me  that 
the  remarks  made  by  him  were  only  meant  as  a  joke 
and  not  a  reality.  But  I  was  not  so  easily  beguiled 
into  this  way  of  thinking.  Still,  I  let  it  all  pass  and 
endeavored  to  do  my  duty,  as  a  true  wife  should, 
though  at  times  while  performing  my  household  du- 
ties I  was  compelled  to  shed  many  bitter  tears  on 
account  of  the  cruel  treatment  received  at  the  hands 
of  my  husband. 

It  seemed  to  give  him  a  great  deal  of  pleasure  to 
see  me  in  tears,  so  I  tried  very  hard  to  keep  them 
back.  When  I  felt  them  being  forced  to  my  eyes,  he 
would  always  say  to  me,  "Now,  just  look  at  that  lit- 
tle cry-baby.  Ain't  you  ashamed  of  yourself?  You 
ought  to  return  to  our  mamma  and  remain  with  her 
a  few  years  yet;  then,  perhaps,  you  would  be  able 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  47 

to  understand  the  duties  of  a  wife  and  not  cry  at 
every  little  thing  that  happened  to  cross  your  path." 

But,  reader,  how  could  I  refrain  from  relieving  my 
feeliugs  in  this  way  when  I  realized  at  the  last  mo- 
ment that  I  had  no  one  to  sympathize  with  me  in  my 
affliction?  It's  true,  I  was  wedded  to  the  miserable 
being  Ave  call  man,  but  not  to  a  kind  and  affectionate 
husband. 

My  grief  was  unbearable  and  at  times  I  was  almost 
tempted  to  take  the  life  God  had  given  me,  but 
after  reconsidering  the  matter,  I  came  to  the  conclu- 
sion that  it  would  be  a  cowardly  act  to  commit  sui- 
cide; and,  furthermore,  I  was  determined  not  to  send 
my  soul  down  to  perdition  on  account  of  the  cruel 
treatment  received  at  the  hands  of  one  vile  wretch. 

My  husband's  presence  grew  more  and  more  obnox- 
ious to  me  as  the  days  passed,  and  it  was  very  seldom 
that  I  even  looked  at  him,  lest  I  should  be  compelled 
to  cry  out  in  my  despair,  "You  murderer,"  as  I  then 
considered  him  nothing  more  nor  less  than  one. 

While  undergoing  this  mental  strain  my  mother 
was  stricken  down  upon  a  bed  of  sickness,  and  after 
five  weeks  of  the  most  intense  suffering  her  attend- 
ing physician  informed  us  that  the  end  was  nigh. 
But  father,  thinking  perhaps  there  was  yet  a  chance 
for  her  recovery,  wired  Dr.  McGuire,  of  Richmond, 
to  come  at  once  to  her  bedside.  Immediately  upon 
his  arrival  he  also  informed  us  that  we  need  not  en- 
tertain the  least  particle  of  hope  in  regard  to  his  being 
able  to  prolong  her  life  for  any  length  of  time,  as  the 
disease  had  assumed  a  malignant  form,  therefore  he 
could  do  nothing.  The!  noted  physician  informed 
mother  as  to  her  critical  condition,  and  after  doing 
so  she  insisted  that  he  perform  an  operation  upon  her 
body,  as  she  was  very  anxious  to  ascertain  the  cause 
of  her  suffering. 


IS  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

On  performing  the  operation  it  was  found  that 
mother's  suffering  was  caused  by  an  immense  tumor, 
and  to  remove  it  would  be  instant  death,  so  we  were 
obliged  to  let  nature  take  its  course  and  await  the 
result, 

A  few  weeks  previous  to  mother's  being  stricken 
down  with  this  terrible  disease  my  sister  Flora  had 
promised  her  heart  and  hand  in  marriage,  and  when 
mother  learned  that  it  was  beyond  all  earthly  aid  to 
prolong  her  life  she  insisted  that  the  wedding  take 
place  immediately,  as  she  could  then  die  better  satis- 
fied, knowing  that  her  child  would  still  have  a  pro- 
tector when  her  dearest  friend  had  passed  away. 

We  did  everything  within  our  power  to  please  and 
comfort  our  beloved  parent  during  the  last  few  days 
allotted  her  upon  earth,  so  sister  and  I  began  making 
preparations  for  her  wedding.  We  at  first  decided 
that  it  should  take  place  at  home  in  the  parlor,  in 
order  that  mother  might  be  an  eye-witness  to  the 
marriage  ceremony.  But,  as  the  event  drew  near  she 
grew  much  worse  and  it  was  thought  best  not  to  ex- 
cite her  any  more  than  necessary,  and  that  it  would 
be  advisable  for  us  to  repair  to  the  Baptist  church  in 
order  to  have  the  marriage  rites  solemnized. 

It  was  on  the  10th  of  November,  1886.  I  can 
almost  see  sister  now  as  she  came  stepping  down  the 
aisle  to  the  sweet  strains  of  the  wedding  march  and 
leaning  upon  the  arm  of  W.  R.  Meroney,  Avho  was 
soon  to  become  her  protector  through  life.  I  prayed 
very  earnestly  for  the  moment  that  my  fate  would 
not  be  hers  also.  I  afterwards  felt  that  my  prayer 
was  answered,  as  Flora  always  appeared  contented 
and  happy  during  her  married  state. 

She  was  perfectly  devoted  to  her  husband  and  chil- 
dren :  never  seemed  happier  than  when  engaged  in 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  ±0 

doing  some  little  act  of  kindness  tor  them,  and  as  the 
Salisbury  News  remarked,  in  speaking  of  her  death 
in  after  years,  that  no  husband  nor  children  ever  had 
a  more  devoted  wife  and  mother.  Her  life  was  com- 
pletely wrapped  up  in  them  and  she  gave  herself  as 
a  sacrifice  for  the  life  of  her  boy. 

Upon  our  return  home  from  church,  after  sister's 
marriage  ceremony  had  been  performed,  we  found 
mother  very  ill  indeed.  It  was  at  first  thought  she 
would  not  survive  until  morning,  but  she  again  rallied 
and  remained  with  us  for  several  days  afterward. 

During  this  time  she  suffered  the  most  excrucia- 
ting pain.  Everything  was  done  for  her  that  loving 
hands  could  do,  and  we  at  last  realized  that  we  could 
do  no  more,  but  would  be  compelled  to  bid  farewell 
to  the  dearest  friend  we  had  on  earth.  It  was  very 
sad  indeed  to  think  that  mother  would  never  meet  us 
again  at  the  door  with  her  bright  smile  and  cheerful 
voice,  saying,  "Come  in."  But  such  must  lie  before 
the  end  of  time. 

Then  there  was  one  great  consolation,  and  that 
was  our  mother  was  perfectly  willing  and  prepared 
to  go,  and  no  doubt  rests  peacefully  to-day  in  heaven, 
free  from  all  earthly  sorrow  and  cares. 

The  day  before  mother  passed  away,  sin-  called  us 
one  at  a  time  to  her  bedside  and  asked  for  the  as- 
surance that  we  would  all  try  to  meet  her  in  the  home 
above.  After  receiving  this  promise  she  turned  to 
father  and  said  to  him,  "Pa,  take  good  care  of  my 
baby  Nell;  be  both  father  and  mother  to  her.  as  she 
will  have  no  one  to  look  to  now  but  you:  therefore 
see  that  you  do  your  duty,  lest  some  sad  fate  befall 
our  child,  and  cause  your  gray  hairs  to  be  brought 
down  in  sorrow  to  the  grave." 

On  the  day  following  these  remarks,  between  12 


50  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

and  1  o'clock  p.  m.,  mother  breathed  her  last.  She 
died  just  as  if  though  she  were  falling  into  a  quiet 
and  peaceful  slumber. 

I  remained  standing  by  her  bedside  for  a  few  mo- 
ments afterward,  then  left  the  room  and  never  be- 
held her  face  again.  On  account  of  John's  being  or- 
dered out  of  the  house  by  my  father,  of  course  I  ac- 
companied him ;  was  it  not  my  duty  to  do  so,  as  years 
before  I  had  given  up  parents  and  everything  dear  to 
me;  yes,  all  for  my  husband's  sake? 

I  was  afterwards  told  that  mother's  remains  were 
beautiful  to  behold,  as  she  lay  within  her  casket 
awaiting  burial. 

We  laid  her  to  rest  beside  my  sister  Eva  in  the 
family  plot  in  the  cemetery,  and  wondering  all  the 
while  which  one  of  us  would  follow  next, 

I  did  not  return  to  my  old  home  for  several  months 
after  this  sad  event,  and  when  I  did  I  found  another 
reigning  in  my  own  mother's  place. 

This  strange  woman  afterward  proved  herself  to  be 
a  very  cruel  step-mother,  as  all  of  you  will  see.  She 
formed  a  great  dislike  for  Sister  Nell,  and  began 
treating  her  harshly  almost  from  the  very  clay  she 
entered  my  father's  residence. 

Sister  was  not  even  allowed  the  privilege  of  having 
her  friends  visit  her.  If  they  did  attempt  such  a  thing 
they  were  ordered  out  of  the  house  immediately  by 
father's  second  wife.  She  always  forbade  them  com- 
ing back  again.  She  also  forbade  me  putting  my  foot 
inside  the  door,  and  told  me  that  if  I  persisted  in  do- 
ing so  she  would  blow  my  brains  out  with  her  pistol ; 
and,  in  fact,  at  one  time  she  snapped  it  in  my  face, 
saying,  "I  will  not  only  put  one  ball  into  you,  but 
three." 

Sister  Nell  had  always  been  accustomed  to  having 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  .51 

her  own  way  around  home,  and  now  the  place  seemed 
more  like  a  prison  to  her  than  anything  else.  Finally, 
she  Avas  driven  away  from  the  old  nest  entirely  by 
our  cruel  step-mother,  and  my  heart  sinks  within  me 
when  I  think  of  the  sister  who  wanders  alone  to-day, 
God  onlv  knows  where. 


5U  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 


CHAPTER  III. 

IN  MY  OWN  HOME. 


A  short  time  after  my  father's  second  marriage  my 
husband  bought  from  II.  I).  Mosley  a  lovely  plot  of 
ground  and  built  thereon  a  two-story  dwelling.  You 
can  have  no  Conception  of  how  delighted  I  was  on 
hearing  that  I  was  going  to  have  a_real  home  of  my 
own. 

While  the  building  was  undergoing  construction, 
John  and  I  used  to  take  a  stroll  in  that  direction 
nearly  every  Sabbath  evening,  in  order  to  behold 
what  progress  the  workmen  had  made  during  the 
week. 

I  always  insisted  upon  these  visits,  as  I  was  very 
anxious  for  the  time  to  arrive  when  we  would  be  com- 
fortably domiciled  in  our  new  abode. 

A  few  months  previous  to  our  residence  being  com- 
pleted my  feelings  were  very  badly  wounded  on  ac- 
count of  a  wrong  committed  by  the  husband  I  at  one 
time  loved  so  dearly. 

He  was  then  employed  by  D.  D.  Schouler  as  auc- 
tioneer, and  came  home  to  dinner  one  day  bearing  a 
large  package  in  his  arms,  with  no  address  written 
upon  it.  Of  course  I  made  sure  the  bundle  was  for 
me  and  began  untying  it  immediately.  All  at  once 
John  frightened  me  by  saying,  "I  wish  you  would  let 
those  things  alone,  as  they  don't  belong  to  yo.u,  but 
to  a  young  lady  who  is  stopping  with  Mrs.  Britz  in 
Salem." 

I  thought  very  strange  of  there  being  no  address 
upon  the  package  and  told  my  husband  so.  He  then 
became  angry  and  said,  "I  do  know  in  my  soul  you 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  53 

missed  your  calling  when  you  married  me.  You 
ought  to  have  remained  single  and  have  practiced  law 
or  gotten  a  position  as  a  detective.  I  think  you  could 
have  realized  a  nice  little  sum  from  either  occupa- 
tion.'' 

I  told  John  that  I  did  not  intend  making  him  angry 
wlien  I  asked  why  there  was  no  address  upon  the 
package;  only  thought  it  a  singular  affair,  and  that 
was  why  I  had  questioned  him  so  closely;  but,  so 
long  as  he  had  become  offended  at  my  remarks,  he 
could  just  use  his  own  pleasure  in  regard  to  getting 
into  a  good  humor  again,  as  I  didn't  care  which  way 
the  wind  blew. 

After  finishing  his  noonday  meal  he  immediately 
left  home  for  the  purpose  of  delivering  this  mysteri- 
ous bundle.  We  were  then  occupying  a  little  four- 
roomed  cottage  on  Park  avenue,  and  in  order  to  reach 
Mr.  Britz's  residence  John  took  the  path  leading  down 
to  the  schoolgirls'  play  ground,  our  former  trysting 
place,  you  remember;  but  things  were  changed  from 
what  they  were  in  days  gone  by. 

I  had  formed  a  habit  of  following  my  husband  to 
the  door  whenever  he  left  home,  in  order  to  receive 
his  parting  kiss,  but  this  time  he  took  no  notice  of 
me  whatever,  just  passed  out  without  saying  a  word. 
I  remained  standing  in  the  doorway,  looking  after 
him  and  brushing  away  the  tears  that  were  trickling 
down  my  cheeks  and  feeling  as  if  though  I  were  en- 
tirely forsaken  by  everyone. 

Jnst  as  my  husband  Avas  turning  a  curve  in  the 
road  I  noticed  a  dark-haired  female  emerge  from  the 
bushes  and  follow  in  the  direction  he  had  gone.  I  at 
first  thought  nothing  of  this  until  I  discovered  that 
she  was  conversing  with  three  young  gentlemen  who 
happened  to  be  coming  up  the  path.     After  giving 


54  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

this  vile  creature  the  information  she  had  asked  they 
passed  my  residence.  As  they  did  so  I  heard  one  of 
them  say,  "I  wonder  why  she  wanted  to  know  which 
way  John  Beard  went?" 

Then  I  knew  who  was  to  receive  the  package  I  had 
thought  my  own,  but,  at  the  same  time,  hated  to 
believe  John  guilty  of  such  an  act;  so  I  made  up  my 
mind  not  to  censure  him  too  severe  until  I  had  given 
him  a  chance  to  vindicate  himself  in  regard  to  the 
matter. 

I  was  very  nervous  all  that  afternoon,  and  to  make 
things  still  worse  Basil,  the  younger  of  my  two  boys, 
was  taken  ill  and  I  was  compelled  to  send  Robah  post- 
haste in  search  of  his  father.  He  was  not  at  his  place 
of  business,  but  was  afterwards  found  down  at  Shaff- 
ner's  ice  pond  skating  with  a  bevy  of  young  ladies 
and  positively  refused  to  accompany  Robah  home  in 
order  to  assist  me  in  attending  to  the  wants  of  our 
sick  child.  He  did  not  return  until  about  11  o'clock 
that  night,  and  when  he  entered  the  door  I  did  not 
speak,  but  gave  him  one  long  look,  which  spoke 
louder  than  words,  and  I  think  he  will  remember  it 
to  his  dying  day. 

After  retiring  my  husband  tried  to  smooth  every- 
thing over  by  explaining  why  it  was  that  he  was 
found  at  the  pond  instead  of  being  at  the  store.  He 
told  me  that  he  happened  to  meet  Mr.  Britz  on  the 
street  and  he  informed  him  that  the  young  lady  who 
was  to  receive  the  package  was  not  at  home  but  at 
Shaffner's  ice  pond  skating,  so  he  turned  in  that 
direction  instead  of  going  on  to  Mr.  B.'s  residence. 

I  said,  "Well,  noAV,  what  excuse  can  you  give  for 
not  coming  home  when  sent  for?" 

He  replied  to  me  by  saying,  "There  goes  the  lawyer 
again.  That's  so;  I  had  forgotten  about  your  being 
a  near  relative  to  the  famous  Newton  Crumpler." 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  55 

These  remarks  only  provoked  me,  and  I  said,  "You 
may  thank  your  God  if  you  only  become  as  smart  a 
man  as  he  proved  himself  to  be,  so  do  not  cast  any 
more  of  your  insinuations  at  me,  if  you  please,  as  I 
have  a  little  crow  to  pick  with  you.  anyhow." 

I  did  not  pick  the  crow  that  night,  as  baby  was 
very  ill,  but  next  morning  I  made  the  feathers  fly. 
The  incident  reminded  me  of  Lord  Byron  accusing 
his  wife  of  her  infidelity.  I  make  this  comparison  on 
account  of  the  expression  on  my  husband's  face  be- 
ing the  same  as  that  of  Bryon's  untrue  wife  as  she 
knelt  at  his  feet,  trying  to  make  some  plausible  ex- 
cuse in  regard  to  her  past  conduct  and  at  the  same 
time  imploring  his  forgiveness. 

A  few  days  after  this  occurrence  I  was  stricken 
down  with  a  severe  case  of  diphtheria,  which  lasted 
nearly  four  weeks.  During  this  time  I  was  treated 
in  the  most  brutal  manner  by  my  noble  protector. 
One  evening  he  dropped  the  phial  containing  a  wash 
for  my  throat.  This  raised  his  ire  and  he  remarked 
that  I  could  do  without  having  my  throat  painted 
until  morning,  as  he  did  not  intend  returning  to  the 
drug  store  for  more  medicine  that  night. 

Now,  I  fully  understood  the  nature  of  my  disease 
and  knew  that  unless  it  received  close  attention  death 
would  be  the  result,  so  I  insisted  on  John's  returning 
once  more  to  the  druggist,  in  order  to  obtain  some- 
thing that  would  alleviate  my  suffering.  This  he  re- 
fused to  do,  and  on  the  following  day  when  the  phy- 
sician arrived  he  found  me  suffering  very  much  in- 
deed, and  after  telling  how  many  hours  had  passed 
since  my  throat  received  treatment,  he  looked  John 
straight  in  the  face  and  said,  "Well,  do  you  intend 
letting  her  die  from  want  of  attention?" 

My  husband  then  remarked  that  he  did  not  see  any 


56  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

use  of  buying  such  expensive  medicine  when  he  could 
manufacture  the  same  from  the  little  red  balls  that 
grew  upon  oak  trees. 

The  Sabbath  that  I  lay  almost  at  Death's  door  my 
husband  remained  away  from  home  all  day,  leaving 
no  one  but  a  little  girl  to  attend  to  my  wants.  I  sup- 
pose I  would  have  died  if  it  had  not  been  for  the  at- 
tention I  received  from  Mrs.  F.  E.  Heckard  and  Miss 
( )la  Leak,  neighbor  ladies.  They  did  everything  within 
their  power  to  comfort  me,  and  my  life  was  spared, 
although  contrary  to  John's  wishes,  I  suppose. 

As  soon  as  I  was  able  to  be  up  and  around  in  my 
room  I  began  packing,  preparatory  to  moving  into 
our  new  residence,  and  hoping  all  the  while  that  there' 
would  be  a  great  change  in  regard  to  my  husband's 
mode  of  living.  At  one  time  I  felt  as  if  though  there 
was  going  to  be,  as  he  erected  a  family  altar  and 
seemed  to  be  doing  better.  He  only  continue-:!  in  the 
right  path  for  three  days,  then  fell  back  into  the  old 
way  again. 

He  afterwards  remarked  that  he  had  only  been 
holding  prayers  as  a  blind  and  nothing  more,  so  all 
that  I  had  hoped  for  was  like  the  foundation  built 
upon  the  sand — soon  washed  away — and  the  home 
that  I  had  looked  forward  to  as  being  one  of  peace  and 
happiness  was  destined  to  be  as  the  others  had  been, 
so  I  made  up  my  mind  to  become  reconciled  to  it  all,  al- 
though it  was  very  hard  at  first  for  me  to  do  so.  After 
building  the  number  of  air  castles  I  had  in  the  past, 
all  the  real  pleasure  I  had  was  in  keeping  my  house 
and  children  neat  and  clean.  I  also  took  great  de- 
light in  raising  different  kinds  of  fowls  and  had  quite 
a  number  of  them  around  my  door. 

One  evening  Brother  Brown,  our  beloved  pastor, 
called    to    see    me,    and    remarked    that    my    home 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  57 

reminded  him  of  a  litle  farm  and  one  that  was  well 
kept.  ( )h !  how  I  longed  for  a  companion  in  this 
home,  but  my  husband  was  never  to  be  one  to  me.  I 
us<  d  to  nearly  burn  my  face  into  a  crisp  while  engaged 
in  preparing  his  meals  over  the  hot  stove.  The  thanks 
I  received  for  this  was  a  cruel  remark,  which  hurt 
me  more  than  a  blow  would  have  done.  He  would 
say  en  his  return  home  to  dinner,  "Why,  Ida,  your 
face  reminds  me  of  an  old  turkey  gobbler,''  on  ac- 
count of  its  looking  so  red. 

I  always  replied  to  him  in  this  way,  "Well,  John, 
if  you  were  compelled  to  remain  over  the  hot  stove 
for  the  same  length  of  time  that  I  am,  your  face  would 
be  red,  too." 

How  much  further  one  word  of  praise  would  have 
gone  instead  of  these  cutting  remarks!  Husbands,  if 
such  yoii  be,  who  happen  to  read  what  I  have  writ- 
ten, let  me  implore  you  to  speak  kindly  to  the  wife 
of  your  bosom.  You  have  no  idea  how  many  priva- 
tions she  endures  for  your  sake,  and  one  cross  word 
from  you  whom  she  adores  often  cuts  keener  than  a 
knife  to  her  heart  and  causes  her  to  regret  the  day 
she  became  your  bride. 

I  was  compelled  to  make  this  assertion  many,  many 
times  during  my  married  life.  During  my  house- 
keeping period  my  husband  would  never  allow  me  to 
live  anywhere  except  in  the  suburbs  of  our  city,  and 
said  that  he  did  not  intend  dressing  me  up  in  tin1 
latest  style  for  some  other  fellow  to  fall  in  love  with. 
I  used  to  say  to  him,  "Why,  John,  you  ought  to  be 
more  than  ashamed  of  yourself  for  even  mentioning 
such  a  thing,  when  you  know  that  I  live  for  you  and 
you  only,  and,  as  I  am  of  a  domestic  turn  of  mind, 
take  great  delight  in  remaining  at  home  in  order  to 
keep  everything  neat  and  clean." 


58  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

I  always  tried  to  have  a  certain  day  and  hour  in 
which  my  work  must  be  done.  I  suppose  I  inherited 
this  trait  from  my  mother.  She  was  of  German  de- 
scent and  believed  in  doing  everything  systematically. 
I  also  had  a  place  for  each  and  ever  article  about  the 
house.  John  often  remarked  to  his  friends  that  he 
believed  I  was  losing  my  mind  on  the  subject  of 
housekeeping,  and  that  I  reminded  him  of  a  clean 
devil.  These  remarks  would  bring  the  tears  to  my 
eyes.  After  working  hard  to  please  the  man  I  fairly, 
worshipped,  my  feelings  were  very  often  wounded  on 
account  of  John's  taking  no  notice  whatever  of  the 
different  articles  of  fancy  work  I  made  with  my  own 
hands  and  placed  within  our  room.  I  would  always 
call  his  attention  to  the  things  first  before  he  would 
say  one  word  in  any  shape  or  form,  then  it  would  be 
something  like  this,  "Oh!  Ida,  you  know  that  I  do 
not  care  for  fancy  work  and  such  things ;  so  you  need 
not  trouble  yourself  about  making  any  more  for  my 
benefit." 

Now,  why  couldn't  he  have  said,  "Yes,  the  things 
are  very  nice  indeed,  and  my  little  wife  was  very 
smart  to  make  them  for  her  old  John  boy,"  then  I 
would  have  felt  as  if  though  I  had  something  to  live 
for,  but  as  it  was,  I  almost  wished  for  death,  and 
more  than  once  was  tempted  to  exclaim,  "Is  there  a 
just  God  or  no?" 

It  seemed  to  me  as  if  though  I  had  more  than  my 
share  of  trouble,  especially  for  one  so  frail  as  I. 

About  this  time  I  was  thrown  into  a  very  excited 
frame  of  mind  on  account  of  my  Sister  Nell  disappear- 
ing suddenly  from  her  home.  She  was  persuaded 
away  by  our  step-mother's  daughter,  Octavia  Wel- 
lous.  What  Miss  Wellon's  motives  were  for  causing 
all  this  trouble  will  remain  a  secret,  I  suppose,  until 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  59 

the  end  of  time;  but  there's  one  thing  I  will  say,  and 
that  is,  she  broke  my  father's  heart.  He  never  seemed 
to  rally  from  that  time  forth,  and  I  think  his  mind 
was  badly  impaired  on  account  of  it — in  fact,  he  at 
one  time  told  me  so,  and  said  that  he  did  not  care  how 
scon  death  relieved  him  of  his  sufferings.  Oh !  why 
can't  those  who  suffer  die;  but,  instead,  they  live  on 
and  on  for  an  unlimited  length  of  time. 

Miss  Wellons  not  only  broke  my  father's  heart  but 
caused  me  a  great  deal  of  anxiety.  I  will  never  for- 
get the  many  sleepless  nights  I  passed,  neither  will  I 
forget  how  I  stood  in  the  Western  Union  Telegraph 
office  anxiously  awaiting  the  welcome  message  from 
Detective  Pfhol  and  my  husband  that  sister  was 
found  and  on  her  way  home. 

When  the  glad  tidings  reached  my  ear  that  such 
was  the  case  I  felt  as  if  though  I  must  run  to  mother 
and  clasp  my  arms  around  her  neck,  saying,  "Thank 
God,  Nell  still  lives  and  will  soon  be  with  us  once 
more." 

But,  oh !  how  sad  when  the  thought  occurred  to  me 
that  mother  was  not  at  the  old  home  to  welcome  her 
child  as  of  yore.  So  I  wired  Sister  Flora  at  Salisbury 
and  she  came  at  once.  Such  a  reunion  was  never 
known.  I  will  not  go  into  details  in  regard  to  Nellie's 
flight,  as  I  deem  it  sufficient  to  say  that  she  had  quite 
a  hazardous  one;  was  found  in  a  penniless  condition, 
and  on  account  of  being  hatless  was  held  a  prisoner 
at  the  Cortenia  Hotel  in  Covington,  Ky.,  and  was 
more  than  glad  to  be  released  from  her  situation. 

I  made  up  my  mind  that  on  her  return  she  should 
find  a  home  with  me  during  the  remainder  of  her 
young  life,  but  father  would  not  consent  to  this,  so 
she  was  again  placed  under  her  cruel  step-mother's 
control,  only  to  cause  me  more  trouble  in  days  that 
were  to  follow. 


00  MY  OWN  LIFE,  Oil 

Our  stepmother  declared  that  Nell  should  never 
rest  in  peace  while  the  blood  was  warm  in  her  head. 
She  also  said  that  she  would  never  be  satisfied  until 
she  saw  sister  laid  in  her  casket — ready  for  the  grave. 

Well,  I  must  say  that  I  feel  now  as  if  though  my 
trouble  was  just  beginning. 

At  that  period  of  my  life  it  was  then  that  John  in- 
sisted that  we  dispose  of  our  residence  in  order  that 
he  might  go  into  business  for  himself.  Whenever  he 
saw  my  father  coming  to  see  us  he  would  say,  "Now, 
Ida,  yonder  comes  your  pa,  and  I  want  you  to  say  to 
him  when  he  gets  here  that  you  are  anxious  to  break 
up  housekeeping  and  try  boarding  for  awhile,  as  you 
are  not  very  strong  and  think  a  little  rest  would  do 
you  good." 

I  asked  my  husband  why  he  wanted  me  to  say  all 
this  to  father.  He  said,  "Oh,  well,  I  just  don't  want 
him  to  think  that  I  am  anxious  to  sell  the  property 
after  his  giving  lis  the  painting  of  the  house." 

John  told  me  that  if  I  would  agree  to  dispose  of  our 
home  he  would  pay  me  $100  to  sign  the  deed  and  that 

1  should  be  placed  under  Dr.  McGuire  at  Richmond 
for  treatment,  as  I  was  then  very  nervous.  At  the 
same  time  he  insisted  on  me  having  my  life  insured 
for  his  benefit.  I  finally  agreed  to  sign  the  deed  for 
$100,  but  told  him  in  plain  English  that  I  would  never 
consent  to  having  my  life  insured  for  his  benefit,  nor 
no  one  else,  as  I  didn't  believe  in  it. 

This  did  not  seem  to  set  well  with  him,  and  he 
made  a  few  profane  remarks,  which  I  took  no  notice 
of  whatever,  but  told  him  I  did  not  care  much 
whether  we  disposed  of  our  home  or  not,  unless  we 
could  realize  some  clean  capital  by  the  sale  of  it. 

He  said,  "Well,  I  am  now  corresponding  with  H. 
J.  Thomas,  a  practicing  physician  of  Wisconsin,  who 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  61 

is  very  anxious  to  locate  somewhere  down  South,  and 
thinks  our  little  city  the  place  for  him.  No  doubt  he 
will  be  the  purchaser  of  our  home.  In  the  "meantime 
we  will  break  up  housekeeping  and  advertise  the 
property  for  rent.  I  do  not  think  it  will  be  a  difficult 
matter  to  find  a  tenant  for  a  place  like  this." 

The  day  following-  the  advertisement  John  came 
rushing  into  the  dining-room,  saying,  "Mamma, 
what  do  you  think?  I  have  had  an  applicant  for 
the  house  already."  Of  course  I  was  curious  to  know 
who  it  was  and  insisted  on  my  husband's  telling  me. 
After  his  doing  so  I  said,  "Well,  do  as  you  think  best 
about  the  matter,  but  you  know  the  reputation  this 
widow  bears  in  regard  to  paying  her  debts,  and  I  be- 
lieve if  I  were  in  your  place  I  would  look  around  for 
someone  else." 

John  then  turned  red  in  the  face  and  told  me  to 
shut  up,  as  he  intended  giving  the  widow  permission 
to  move  into  our  house,  and,  furthermore,  was  not 
going  to  charge  her  one  cent  of  rent. 

These  remarks  raised  my  ire  a  little  too  much  and  I 
said,  "Yes,  I  would  just  like  for  you  to  attempt  such 
a  tiling,  I  would  soon  show  you  the  fruits  of  a  pine 
torch." 

My  husband  left  home  immediately  after  this.  T 
suppose  he  did  so  in  order  to  inform  his  tenant  as  to 
what  had  been  said  between  he  and  I  in  regard  to  her 
taking  possession  of  the  house. 

That  night  he  returned  home  from  the  store  as 
pleased  as  a  basket  of  chips,  and  wanted  to  know  how 
soon  I  would  be  ready  to  move  down  street.  I  said, 
"Oh,  well,  if  I  must  T  must,  and  will  try  and  arrange 
it  so  that  we  can  move  by  the  first  or  middle  of  June," 
but,  oh,  how  I  did  hate  to  leave  the  home  I  called  my 
own.     At  the  same  time  I  thought  it  best  to  obev  the 


62  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

man  whose  name  I  bore,  so  made  no  more  fuss  about 
the  matter,  and  on  the  16th  of  June,  1890,  we  broke 
up  housekeeping  and  obtained  board  with  Mrs.  Rose 
Williams,  who  ran  the  City  Hotel  on  Main  street, 
over  Jacobs'  clothing  store. 

We  had  only  been  installed  in  our  new  quarters 
about  a  week  when  one  morning  my  husband  came 
to  breakfast  and  informed  me  that  D.  D.  Schouler, 
his  employer,  had  discharged  him  on  my  account. 

I  said,  "What  have  I  done  that  would  cause  Schou- 
ler to  discharge  you?"  He  refused  to  answer  my 
question,  and  I  then  told  him  that  I  intended  going 
over  to  investigate  the  matter  myself.  He  forbade 
me  doing  so,  and  I  have  remained  in  the  dark  ever 
since  as  to  why  he  received  his  dismissal. 

We  remained  with  Mrs.  Williams  six  months.  Then 
she  informed  us  that  we  must  pay  more  than  fifty 
dollars  per  month  for  board.  I  told  her  that  we  were 
.not  willing  to  do  so  and  that  I  would  look  around  for 
another  place,  which  I  did,  and  secured  very  nice 
board  and  lodging  with  Mrs.  Elizabeth  Rierson,  in  the 
Buxton  Block,  on  Liberty  street.  I  would  have  been 
very  happy  in  my  new  home  if  John  had  acted  as  he 
ought  to  have  done,  but  instead  he  gave  me  a  great 
deal  of  trouble  on  account  of  his  mode  of  living.  He 
always  pretended  to  the  outside  world  that  he  was 
perfectly  devoted  to  me,  but  such  was  not  the  case. 

Oh !  the  profane  language  I  was  compelled  to  en- 
dure on  his  return  home  at  night.  I  remember  once 
of  his  not  making  his  appearance  in  my  room  until 
2  o'clock  in  the  morning,  and  Avhen  I  questioned  him 
as  to  why  he  had  remained  out  until  this  late  hour, 
he  began  cursing  and  told  me  that  it  was  none  of  my 

d business  where  he  had  been,  as  he  was  a  man 

of  his  own,  and  generally  went  and  came  when  he 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  63 

pleased.  He  finally  cooled  down  long  enough  to  say 
that  as  it  was  a  pretty  moonlight  night  he  had  been 
showing  a  shoe  salesman  over  our  city.  I  asked  him 
whether  he  thought  I  was  fool  enough  to  believe  such 
a  story.  I  said,  "You  might  tell  such  things  to  the 
marines,  but  not  to  me." 

He  then  began  cursing  again  at  such  a  rate  that 
Mrs.  Rierson  was  forced  to  call  in  Policeman  Banner 
to  quiet  him.  When  Mr.  Hanner  came  to  our  door, 
John  pointed'  a  pistol  right  in  his  face,  and  told  him 
to  carry  himself  back  down  on  the  street,  or  he  would 
blow  his  brains  out.  The  policeman  did  as  requested, 
but  I  think  it  was  on  my  account.  Then  John  said, 
"Now,  Ida,  if  they  try  to  arrest  me  to-morrow,  you 
must  tell  them  that  I  had  a  nightmare,  and  that  was 
why  I  raised  such  a  racket."  So  I  passed  the  follow- 
ing day  almost  in  agon}',  for  fear  I  would  be  com- 
pelled to  commit  this  awful  sin  in  order  to  shield  my 
husband. 

John  never  allowed  me  to  go  anywhere  unless  he 
was  with  me.  All  that  he  had  to  say  was,  "Ida,  you 
can't  go,"  and  that  was  sufficient.  I  never  asked  the 
second  time. 

One  evening  Mrs.  Rierson  insisted  on  me  accom- 
panying her  to  church.  I  promised  to  do  so,  but 
when  I  learned  that  it  was  against  my  husband's 
wishes,  I  complained  of  a  severe  headache  and  re- 
mained in  my  room  instead  of  fulfilling  the  promise  I 
had  made. 

Oh  !  why  did  I  do  all  this  for  one  who  appreciated 
it  so  little,  and  afterward  cast  me  aside  for  another 
when  I  grew  old. 

Another  trait  of  John's  was  to  fly  into  a  passion  in 
a  minute  if  I  happened  to  address  in  a  friendly  man- 
ner either  of  the  young  salesmen  employed  in  our 


04  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OK 

store.  He  formed  a  great  dislike  for  Allie  Hege  es- 
pecially. Why  it  was,  1  do  not  know,  for  I  always 
looked  upon  Allie  as  a  mere  child,  and  treated  him  as 
such. 

One  evening,  while  at  the  liierson  House,  the  chil- 
dren and  I  were  sitting  out  on  the  balcony  enjoying 
some  frozen  cream.  All  at  once  young  Hege  passed 
and  said,  "Why,  good  evening,  Mrs.  Beard ;  what  are 
you  all  doing  up  there?" 

I  told  him  that  we  were  trying  to  keep  cool,  and 
insisted  on  his  partaking  of  a  saucer  of  cre*m  also. 

I  didn't  think  there  would  be  any  harm  in  doing 
this ;  only  thought  I  was  doing  something  in  return 
Cor  his  kindness  towards  Basil.  Allie  had  not  more 
than  seated  himself  in  our  midst  when  my  husband 
happened  to  step  out  on  the  pavement  in  front  of  his 
place  of  business,  and,  I  supposed,  noticed  some  one 
besides  the  children  on  the  balcony  with  me. 

I  tell  you  the  store  was  closed  early  for  one  time, 
and  I  enjoyed  John's  society  during  the  remainder  of 
the  evening.  He  treated  our  guest  politely  while 
with  us,  but  no  sooner  than  he  was  out  of  sight  my 
husband  began  cursing  at  a  terrific  rate,  and  threat- 
ened to  discharge  young  Hege  on  the  following  morn- 
ing. 

Now,  I  thought  I  had  borne  enough,  and  told  John 
so.  I  said,  "You  ought  to  be  ashamed  of  yourself  for 
censuring  me  as  you  have  during  the  last  five  minutes, 
when  you  know  that  I  only  regard  Allie  as  a  boy  and 
treat  him  accordingly." 

My  husband  not  only  objected  to  my  treating  Allie 
in  a  cordial  manner,  but  young  Crowell  also.  At  one 
time  he  lay  sick  at  the  liierson  in  a  room  adjoining 
our  room,  and  while  suffering  from  the  effects  of  a 
high  fever  he  called  for  water.     I  knew  there  was  no 


A  DESERTED  WIPE.  65 

one  to  wait  upon  him,  and  I  did  so  myself  by  placing 
a  pitcher  of  ice  water  on  the  outside  of  his  door.  For 
this  act  I  received  the  most  unmerciful  scolding  from 
John.  I  told  him  I  did  not  mean  any  harm  by  plac- 
ing the  water  at  the  door;  was  only  anxious  to  do 
something  for  Mr.  Crowell,  as  he  was  suffering  and 
here  among  strangers. 

The  following  morning  m}*  cousin  sent  me  a  beau- 
tiful box  of  flowers  and  cake.  Having  more  than  I 
desired  for  my  own  use,  thought  I  would  cheer  the 
young  bookkeeper  up  a  bit  by  letting  Basil  carry  him 
some  of  both.  The  minute  I  had  sent  the  things  I 
said  to  myself,  "Now  I  will  catch  it  again,"  so  sat 
down  to  await  John's  return  home  from  the  store. 
When  he  came,  I  told  him  what  I  had  done,  and  said, 
"Now,  I  do  hope  you  will  not  scold  me  for  this  little 
act  of  kindness,  when  it  was  onl}T  to  brighten  up  a 
poor  sick  boy's  room." 

My  husband  began  cursing  as  usual,  and  said,  "Ida, 
try  it  once  more,  and  I  will  leave  you,  so  help  me 
God." 

Well,  now  I  have  given  you  some  idea  of  my  life 
at  the  Iiierson  House.  After  boarding  at  the  above 
named  place  for  nearly  two  years,  we  at  last  had  a 
little  misunderstanding — on  account  of  the  children. 
We  then  tried  boarding  with  Mrs.  Westbrook,  a  cousin 
of  John's;  but  this  did  not  last  long,  as  she  and  I 
could  not  get  along  at  all. 

On  leaving  Mrs.  Westbrook's  residence,  we  moved 
to  the  Jones  House,  and  I  must  say  that  some  of  the 
happiest  moments  of  my  married  life  were  spent  with 
this  hospitable  family.  It  seemed  as  if  though  they 
could  never  do  enough  for  us. 

On  going  to  the  Jones  House,  the  proprietor  in- 
formed us  that  he  could  not  give  us  a  room  in  the 
3 


G6  MY  OWN  LIFE_,  OR 

main  building,  as  every  one  was  then  occupied,  but 
Avould  let  us  have  a  little  brick  structure  formerly 
known  as  Judge  Wilson's  law  office.  We  accepted  the 
the  offer,  and  moved  in  at  once. 

I  said  to  John,  "Now,  do  please  let's  begin  life 
anew,  and  I  want  you  to  assist  me  in  arranging  our 
furniture  in  the  room" ;  but  once  more  he  refused  to 
do  so,  and  told  me  that  he  was  willing  to  hire  Mr. 
Samuel  Miller  for  the  purpose;  so,  with  Mr.  Miller's 
aid  I  soon  had  a  cosy  little  nest;  but,  oh,  how  much 
more  I  would  have  appreciated  my  husband's  assist- 
ance ! 

Everyone  thought  me  perfectly  happy  while  at  the 
Jones  House,  but  alas !  I  was  not.  It's  true,  my  hus- 
band was  doing  a  prosperous  business,  known  as  Old 
Cheap  John,  and  my  surroundings  were  comfortable, 
but,  after  all,  this  did  not  constitute  happiness. 

As  the  days  passed,  I  realized  that  my  husband  was 
growing  from  bad  to  worse,  and  knew  that  unless 
there  was  a  change,  and  that  quickly,  he  would  be 
entirely  lost,  so  I  plead  with  him  to  turn  over  a  new 
leaf  and  do  away  with  the  accursed  opium  and  bromo- 
seltzer  habit. 

But  my  pleadings  were  all  in  vain.  He  told  me 
that  he  intended  eating  opium  and  drinking  bromo- 
seltzer  as  long  as  he  lived.  Then  it  was  I  gave  up  all 
hope  of  redeeming  the  man  I  had  clung  to  through 
poverty  and  prosperity  for  so  many  years. 

But  still  I  said  to  myself,  "I'll  be  true  to  him, 
whether  he  is  to  me  or  not" ;  and  now  I  feel  that  I 
did  my  duty  as  a  wife  until  the  last.  I  never  re- 
mained away  from  John  a  single  day  or  night  during 
our  married  life.  Perhaps  it  would  have  been  a  great 
deal  better  for  me  if  I  had,  then  he  would  have  known 
how  to  appreciate  me  all  the  more  on  my  return. 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  67 

During  ray  stay  at  the  Jones  House,  John  seemed 
very  attentive  to  me  in  public,  and  no  one  would 
have  thought  but  what  we  were  as  happy  as  the  boy 
and  girl  lovers  of  former  years.  But  things  are  sel- 
dom what  they  seem,  or  at  least  it  was  so  with  me, 
for  instead  of  being  happy,  I  was  the  most  miserable 
creature  on  earth,  and  made  so  by  my  husband's  acts. 

The  little  nest  I  had  taken  such  an  interest  in  now 
seemed  almost  a  prison,  and  I  was  really  glad  when 
I  heard  that  Mr.  Jones  had  leased  the  old  Merchants' 
Hotel  and  intended  moving  there  in  a  short  while.  I 
knew  that  we  would  not  be  able  to  pay  the  price  he 
would  ask'  for  board,  and  hoped  that  John  would  re- 
turn to  housekeeping;  but  this  he  refused  to  do,  and 
declared  that  he  would  move  to  the  hotel  if  he  only 
remained  six  weeks. 

I  then  insisted  on  our  remaining  with  Mrs.  Hanes, 
as  she  was  going  to  take  possession  of  the  house  after 
it  was  vacated  by  Mr.  Jones.  My  husband  said  no; 
I  must  do  just  as  he  wanted  me  to  whether  I  was  in- 
clined to  do  so  or  not. 

I  said,  "Well,  John,  you  know  that  I  would  be  de- 
lighted to  move  over  to  the  hotel,  but,  at  the  same 
time,  I  am  afraid  the  change  will  cause  us  lots  of 
trouble,  as  your  business  affairs  are  in  a  very  shaky 
condition  at  present,  and  I  would  much  rather  go  to 
housekeeping  or  remain  with  Mrs.  Hanes,  as  I  do  not 
care  to  have  all  the  blame  cast  upon  me  if  you  should 
happen  to  fail." 

John  said,  "Oh,  I  don't  think  there  is  any  danger 
of  a  failure  soon,  unless  that  times  get  worse  than 
they  are  now." 

I  felt  as  if  though  something  was  at  the  back  of  all 
this,  and  insisted  once  more  on  our  remaining  where 
we  were,  but,  like  always,  my  husband  had  his  own 


68  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

way,  and  on  to  the  hotel  we  went,  only  to  remain  for 
the  short  period  of  six  weeks. 

Then  the  long  predicted  Cheap  John  failure  came, 
much  to  the  delight  of  many  of  our  enemies,  for  I 
really  believe  there  were  many  who  rejoiced  at  our 
downfall  and  envied  me  my  position  while  seemingly 
happy  and  prosperous. 

Oh!  if  they  could  only  have  changed  places  with 
me  for  five  minutes,  I  think  they  would  have  enter- 
tained different  feelings  toward  poor  little  heart- 
broken me. 

My  life  at  Hotel  Jones  was  anything  but  a  pleasant 
one.  I  passed  the  days  in  sadness,  feeling  all  the 
while  as  a  caged  bird  longing  for  its  freedom.  I  tried 
to  appear  bright  and  happy  while  in  the  presence  of 
those  around  me,  and  none  would  have  ever  known 
but  what  I  was  the  gayest  of  the  gay.  But  oh !  the 
heavy  heart  I  carried  within  my  bosom,  as  John  never 
cared  to  please  me  in  anything,  but  would  worry  and 
contrary  me  as  much  as  possible. 

To  show  you  that  my  statements  are  true,  I  will 
relate  a  little  incident  that  occurred  during  my  stay 
at  Hotel  Jones.  On  the  eve  of  the  grand  reception, 
the  ladies  of  the  house  requested  me  to  assist  in  re- 
ceiving the  guests.  I  knew  this  would  be  very  much 
against  my  husband's  wishes ;  however,  I  made  up  my 
mind  to  have  something  to  say  in  regard  to  the  mat- 
ter for  once,  if  it  caused  a  separation  between  John 
and  myself.  But  after  receiving  a  volley  of  oaths 
from  my  noble  admirer,  I  promised  him  I  would  have 
nothing  to  do  with  the  affair  whatever,  but  would 
remain  in  my  room  and  make  some  plausible  excuse 
for  not  assisting  in  the  work  for  the  evening. 

This  seemed  to  please  him,  and  he  said,  "Well,  I 
think  it  will  be  more  in  keeping  with  your  position 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  69 

as  a  married  woman,  and  I  will  be  home  early  in  order 
to  accompany  yon  down  to  supper." 

As  the  hour  approached  for  the  guests  to  arrive,  I 
dressed  myself  with  care  and  sat  down  by  the  window 
to  await  John's  return,  but  he  came  not  in  time  for 
supper.  It  was  after  11  o'clock  before  he  made  his 
appearance  at  all.  I  was  compelled  to  go  down  to  the 
dining  room  alone,  everyone  asking  me  where  my 
husband  was.  I  scarcely  knew  what  to  say  at  first, 
but  after  thinking  for  a  moment,  I  told  them  that  he 
had  been  called  away  on  business,  and  it  was  of  such 
a  nature  that  it  would  necessitate  his  remaining  until 
late  in  the  evening.  Xow,  I  knew  nothing  of  John's 
whereabouts,  but  thought  I  would  give  the  above  ex- 
cuse to  the  guests  around  me. 

On  John's  return  home,  he  said,  "Well,  now  I  guess 
I  am  even  with  you  for  promising  to  assist  in  this 
affair.  For  my  part,  I  have  spent  a  pleasant  evening 
out  at  South  Side  with  a  lady  friend  of  mine,  while 
you  have  passed  the  hours  here  all  by  yourself." 

I  had  gotten  over  my  angry  spell  on  account  of  be- 
ing disappointed,  and  now  appeared  cool  and  col- 
lected, so  I  said,  "Well,  John,  I  rather  like  being  left 
alone  sometimes,  but  I  do  think  you  acted  very  un- 
gentlemanly  in  not  keeping  your  promise  on  this 
special  occasion,  so  that  I  would  not  have  been  placed 
in  such  an  embarrassing  position." 

My  husband  said.  "That's  just  exactly  the  way  I 
intended  you  to  be,  and  I  remained  away  on  purpose." 

I  made  no  reply  to  his  remarks,  but  retired  early, 
feeling  as  if  though  I  did  not  care  whether  I  lived  to 
see  another  sunrise.  I  almost  wished  I  would  not. 
nnd  if  it  had  not  been  for  the  sweet  strains  of  music 
that  reached  my  ear  from  the  parlor  below,  I  believe 
I  would  have  prayed  God  to  take  my  life  into  His 
keeping  ere  another  morning  dawned. 


70  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

But  as  it  was,  the  music  awoke  within  me  memo- 
ries of  home,  sweet  home.     Yes,  and  other  days. 

One  occasion  I  recall  to  mind  especially.  It  was  on 
an  evening  just  like  this,  and  I,  dressed  all  in  white, 
stood  beneath  a  beautiful  arch  of  flowers,  assisting  in 
receiving  seventy-five  guests  who  were  assembling  to- 
gether within  the  portals  of  my  father's  residence 
in  order  to  participate  in  the  festivities  being  held  in 
honor  of  my  sixteenth  birthday.  I  was  made  Queen 
of  all. 

Capt.  J.  D.  Burch,  of  the  W.  L.  I.,  afterwards  re- 
marked that  I  would  never  look  fairer  when  a  bride. 
His  remarks  caused  me  to  tremble  as  the  noble  aspen 
did  when  she  heard  the  woodmen  coming  with  their 
axes  through  the  forest  in  search  of  timbers  for  to 
make  the  cross  on  which  Christ  was  to  be  crucified. 
Yes,  I  trembled  on  hearing  the  name  of  bride  men- 
tioned, as  it  reminded  Ine  of  an  incident  which  oc- 
curred a  few  months  previous  to  this  event.  Then  it 
was  that  I  beheld  a  very  dear  cousin  of  mine  standing 
amid  relatives  and  friends  bedecked  in  her  bridal 
array  and  awaiting  the  groom  who  came  not,  on  ac- 
count of  being  persuaded  by  his  companions  to  desert 
at  the  last  moment  the  girl  who  was  to  have  become 
his  bride.  I  assisted  in  disrobing  her  of  the  garments 
she  had  taken  such  an  interest  in  preparing.  She 
tossed  them  aside  and  with  a  maniac  smile  exclaimed, 
"I  do  not  care,  why  should  I?  -he  wasn't  worth  one 
thought  of  mine."  I  knew  that  the  smile  came  from 
her  lips  alone,  and  that  deep  down  within  her  heart 
there  lurked  an  aching  pain  which  no  earthly  aid 
could  ever  reach  and  naught  but  time  would  heal.  I 
said  to  myself,  "I  have  no  desire  to  become  a  wife, 
but  with  my  cat,  books,  birds  and  flowers,  remain  an 
old  maid  until  my  dying  day."  About  this  time  John 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  71 

returned,  and  with  his  smooth  tongue  aud  winning 
ways  soon  won  uie  for  his  bride.  Oh!  why  did  not 
my  miud  revert  to  childhood  days  instead,  yes,  to  the 
happy  hours  I,  with  Sister  Flora,  spent  beneath  the 
roof  of  what  was  familiarly  known  as  old  Billy's 
cabin.  He  was  a  half-witted  old  fellow  who  had  beeu 
in  father's  employ  almost  from  my  cradle  up,  and 
everything  I  did  or  said  was  all  right  with  him.  He 
has  passed  away  since  the  time  I  have  reference  to, 
aud  in  thinking  of  him  somehow  or  other  I  always 
feel  that  I  was  the  sole  cause  of  his  having  a  shelter 
over  his  head  during  his  latter  days. 

Once  upon  a  time  Avheu  the  old  free  school  house 
in  which.  I  learned  the  English  alphabet  was  beiug 
torn  away  in  order  to  be  replaced  by  a  newer  one,  I 
insisted  upon  father's  purchasing  the  former  and  pre- 
senting it  to  Billy  for  a  home.  Father  did  as  I  re- 
quested him  to  do,  and  afterwards  said  to  me,  "Now 
that  old  Billy  has  the  material  for  a  house,  where  do 
you  suppose  he  will  build  it?"  I  thought  for  a  mo- 
ment, then  exclaimed,  "Why,  papa,  let's  make  him 
a  present  also  of  that  lovely  little  plot  of  ground  just 
beyond  our  fish  pond,  where  sister  and  I  always 
gather  our  Christmas  evergreens,  and  owing  to  its 
having  a  clear,  cool  spring  upon  it,  I  think  it  the  very 
spot  for  Billy's  home."  Father  then  promised  to 
make  him  a  deed  to  the  place  right  away  that  even- 
ing, so  I  threw  my  arms  around  his  neck,  kissing 
him  once,  twice,  thrice;  then  away  to  the  field  I  flew 
to  inform  Billy  of  the  bright  fortune  in  store  for  him. 

The  poor  old  fellow  was  almost  overcome  with  joy, 
and,  throwing  down  a  sack  half  filled  with  peas,  be- 
gan dancing  at  such  a  rate  that  I  told  him  if  he  did 
not  mind  mother's  peas  would  be  shelled  before  they 
were  thoroughly  dry.     He  said,  "All  right,  Cricket, 


72  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

I  will  be  careful,  and  to-night  I'll  play  you  a  tune  on 
my  dulcimer;  just  see  if  I  don't."  I  have  always 
wondered  why  he  called  me  Cricket.  I  suppose  it  was 
on  account  of  my  quick  way  of  speaking  and  jump- 
ing around. 

The  day  following  my  conversation  with  father,  he 
gave  instructions  to  another  of  his  hirelings  to  place 
upon  the  spot  already  designated  the  material  for 
Billy's  house,  and  with  the  aid  of  a  few  kind  neigh- 
bors, the  old  man  and  his  wife  were  comfortably  domi- 
ciled for  the  winter.  The  lirst  Christmas  they  spent 
together  beneath  their  own  roof  was  long  to  be  remem- 
bered by  them. 

Mother  had  promised  me  a  grand  surprise  for  this 
aged  couple,  so  I  arose  early,  and,  after  donning  my 
red  hood  and  mittens  to  correspond,  I  filled  a  basket 
with  everything  nice  from  our  pantry,  and  with  a 
heart  light  as  the  thistledown,  set  out  through  the 
snow  for  old  Billy's  cabin.  I  suppose  I  would  have 
reminded  one  of  Little  Red  Riding  Hood.  Then,  too, 
I  was  going  to  keep  the  hungry  wolf  from  the  door 
that  morning.  On  reaching  the  cabin,  I  rapped  loudly 
and  said,  " Santa  Claus,  your  best  friend  has  called 
to  see  you ;  so  open  the  door  quickly  or  he  will  freeze." 

I  waited  until  I  heard  Billy  coining  toward  the 
door,  then  ran  away  to  hide  myself  in  the  chimney 
corner,  and  afterward  heard  him  say,  "I  just  bet  that 
Mrs.  Crumpley  sent  this  basket,  and  I  wonder  where 
Cricket  is?     Let  me  look  for  her." 

He  pretended  not  to  see  me  at  first;  so  I  made  up 
my  mind  to  scare  him  by  saying,  "Christmas  gift, 
Uncle  Billy !"  He  spread  his  large  mouth  from  ear 
to  ear,  and  insisted  on  my  coming  in  to  the  fire.  I 
was  feeling  very  cold  by  this  time,  and  glad  to  accept 
of  his  hospitality.     After  I  had  gotten  thoroughly 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  73 

warm,  he  drew  forth  his  dulcimer  and  began  playing 
"Dixie" — my  Christmas  gift,  he  said.  I  appreciated 
his  efforts  in  trying  to  please  me  so  much  that  I  re- 
mained longer  than  mother  had  given  me  permission 
to,  and  father,  becoming  uneasy,  came  in  search  of 
me.  He  found  me  sitting  down  at  old  Billy's  feet, 
listening  to  his  music  and  all  kinds  of  queer  stories. 
But  the  moment  I  beheld  father,  I  said,  "Oh !  I  must 
be  going."  So  up  I  sprang,  and  after  calling  for  my 
basket,  I  bade  the  old  couple  a  merry  Christmas,  and, 
in  company  with  father,  was  soon  homeward  bound, 
leaving  Billy  and  his  wife  to  enjoy  the  good  things 
left  them  by  their  little  Cricket. 

There  are  a  great  many  more  things  I  would  like 
to  mention  in  regard  to  the  pleasant  hours  spent  with 
this  aged  pair,  but  I  must  now  return  to  my  life  at 
Hotel  Jones. 

The  morning  following  the  reception,  my  husband 
arose  at  10  o'clock  in  a  terrible  rage,  and  declared  that 
he  would  spend  the  remaining  portion  of  the  day  at 
South  Side.  I  told  him  to  go  ahead,  as  I  supposed 
Mr.  Hege  would  manage  the  business  just  as  well 
alone — or,  at  least,  had  been  doing  so  for  six  months 
— although  very  much  against  his  wishes.  I  also 
remarked  to  John  that  he  had  better  be  in  a  hurry 
about  starting,  or  the  day  would  be  far  spent  before 
reaching  his  destination.  This  caused  him  to  fly  into 
a  passion,  and  he  said,  "Oh,  well,  you  need  not  talk 
so  smart,  as  your  comb  will  be  cut  in  a  few  days  on 
account  of  hearing  of  our  failure.  And  you  are  the 
cause  of  it  all.  Just  think !  Here  you  are,  boarding 
at  the  hotel  and  cutting  a  swell !" 

I  said,  "Now,  John,  stop  right  where  you  are,  and 
listen  to  me  a  few  minutes.  I  think  I  am  capable  of 
having  a  word  or  two  to  say  in  regard  to  the  matter. 


74  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

So  far  as  your  intended  failure  is  concerned,  I  am  not 
at  all  surprised  at  it,  as  I  have  been  expecting  some- 
thing of  the  kind  for  quite  awhile;  but  there's  one 
thing  certain,  you  can  not  blame  me  for  being  the 
cause  of  your  downfall.  I  knew  before  moving  to  the 
hotel  that  if  you  should  happen  to  fail,  I  would  be 
accused  of  being  the  cause  of  it,  and  that  was  why  I 
insisted  on  our  going  to  housekeeping  or  remaining 
with  Mrs.  Hanes  for  awhile,  at  least  until  you  could 
see  how  things  were  going.  So,  now,  I  don't  want 
you  to  censure  me  for  being  the  cause  of  all  your 
trouble,  when  I  consider  that  you  are  as  much,  if  not 
more,  to  blame  than  I  am.  Had  you  listened  to  me 
instead  of  having  your  own  headlong  way,  both  of  us 
would  be  a  great  deal  better  off.  And  there  are  sev- 
eral other  things  I  would  like  to  remind  you  of.  How 
about  your  bicycles,  guns,  dogs,  etc.?  I  suppose  I 
was  the  sole  cause  of  your  having  them  also,  was  I 
not?  You  know  that  it  has  cost  you  no  little  sum  to 
board  your  lovely  little  canine  family  here  and  else- 
where for  the  last  six  years,  and  I  think  it's  high 
time  you  cease  your  everlasting  hunting  expeditions, 
when  they  cost  you  ten  dollars  or  more,  on  account 
of  your  paying  railroad  fare  for  dogs  and  friends  who 
accompanied  you.  Then,  every  time  there  is  a  bicycle 
race,  ten  dollars  more  must  come  out  of  your  pocket, 
so  that  you  will  be  in  the  swim  with  the  rest  of  the 
boys. 

"The  very  idea  of  your  having  two  $150  bicycles, 
and  two  $35  guns  in  your  possesion  at  one  time,  .not 
mentioning  your  $9  watch  chain,  $10  ring,  $5  silver- 
headed  cane,  and  a  thousand  other  things.  I  think 
it  perfectly  awful  that  you  paid  $25  for  one  of  your 
bird  dogs.  Then,  you  remember,  you  paid  $25  more 
for  a  hair  tonic,  which  never  did  your  bald  head  a 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  75 

particle  of  good.  No  wonder  your  business  has  gone 
to  wreck,  and  still  I  am  to  blame  for  it  all,  or,  at 
least,  you  are  trying  to  make  it  appear  so  to  the  out- 
side world." 

This  ended  our  conversation  for  the  day,  and  noth- 
ing more  was  said  about  the  failure  until  several 
weeks  afterwards.  Then,  all  at  once,  one  morning, 
Duncan  Jeffreys,  our  porter,  came  to  my  room  with 
a  note  from  my  husband,  in  which  he  requested  me 
to  come  to  his  place  of  business  immediately,  as  he 
was  very  anxious  to  have  some  copying  done.  On 
reaching  the  store  I  soon  learned  that  John  had  noth- 
ing whatever  for  me  to  do  in  the  way  of  copying,  but 
wanted  me  to  select  quite  a  number  of  articles  needed 
in  housekeeping.  My  husband  asked  me  to  follow  him 
into  the  rear  part  of  the  store.  After  doing  so,  he 
said,  "Now,  Ida,  listen  carefully  to  what  I  have  to 
say.  You  are  aware  of  the  fact  that  our  business 
affairs  are  in  a  shaky  condition.  I  see  no  prospect  of 
pulling  through  the  panic,  and  Jeff  Grogan  says  that 
now  is  the  time  for  us  to  select  from  the  stock  what- 
ever we  will  need.  If  we  tarry  long  about  the  matter, 
our  doors  will  be  closed  by  the  Sheriff,  and  we  will  be 
left  out  in  the  cold  world  alone;  so  take  my  advice, 
and  let's  get  to  work  before  it's  too  late." 

I  looked  my  husband  straight  in  the  face  and  said, 
"No,  sir.  I  will  not  dishonor  the  mother  who  bore 
me  by  being  your  accomplice  in  this  affair;  but  I  will 
leave  the  State's  uniform  for  you,  your  father,  and 
your  noble  attorney,  Jefferson  Grogan,  to  wear." 

With  these  remarks,  I  left  the  store  and  returned  to 
the  hotel.  Just  as  I  was  leaving  our  place  of  business 
I  heard  my  father-in-law  say : 

"John,  if  I  were  in  your  place,  I  would  leave  Ida 
before  sundown.     I  would  live  with  no  woman  who 


76  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

refused  to  do  as  I  said.  The  very  idea  of  her  not  try- 
ing to  assist  you  in  getting  out  of  this  scrape,  when 
it  would  be  to  her  interest  as  well  as  your  own." 

After  reaching  my  room  at  the  hotel,  I  burst  out 
crying  and  said  to  myself : 

"Oh,  if  I  only  had  a  good,  honest  husband !" 

On  his  return  home  that  night  he  seemed  as  jolly 
as  ever,  and  told  me  he  didn't  mean  any  harm  by 
saying  what  he  did  around  at  the  store — was  just 
joking  about  the  matter  and  nothing  more. 

A  few  days  after  this  occurrence,  our  porter  came 
to  my  room  and  presented  me  with  a  letter,  supposed 
to  be  from  Mrs.  Charles  Agee,  who  was  then  residing 
at  Bluefield,  W.  Va. 

The  letter  ran  as  follows : 

Dear  Sister  xmd  Brother: 

As  you  failed  to  send  Charlie  and  I  a  Christmas  present,  we 
make  bold  to  ask  you  for  something  now.  at  this  late  day.  We 
are  sadly  in  need  of  several  pieces  of  crockery,  and  as  Ada  is  a 
good  judge  of  such  things,  will  leave  it  to  her  to  select  them. 

Charlie  also  requests  me  to  say  that  lie  thinks  this  a  splendid 
point  to  open  up  a  branch  Cheap  John  Store.  So  study  over  the 
matter,  and  if  you  decide  to  do  business  in  our  "city,  he  will  man- 
age everything  for  you. 

Hoping  to  hear  from  you  soon,  I  remain  your  loving  sister, 

Jennie. 

After  X  had  finished  reading  the  letter,  our  porter 
told  me  that  Mr.  Beard  wanted  to  see  me  right  away; 
so  I  put  on  my  hat  and  went  around  to  the  store.  On 
entering,  John  said: 

"Well,  Ida,  did  you  read  Jennie's  letter?" 

I  answered  in  the  affirmative,  and  at  the  same  time 
told  him  I  didn't  think  we  ought  to  send  the  things 
just  then;  but  John  said  "now  or  never,"  and  began 
placing  several  pieces  of  crockery  upon  the  counter. 

He  worked  on  for  awhile,  and  then  asked  me  to 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  <  < 

select  something  I  thought  his  sister  would  like.  Of 
course,  I  just  supposed,  the  letter  I  had  received  was 
from  Jennie ;  therefore  I  did  as  my  husband  requested 
me  by  pointing  to  the  different  articles  I  imagined 
she  would  need  in  housekeeping,  and  never  dreamed 
for  a  moment  of  anything  wrong.  The  counter  at 
last  being  full,  John  said : 

"Well,  I  guess  this  will  do,  so  far  as  the  crockery 
is  concerned;  and  now  I  want  you  to  assist  me  in 
making  a  selection  of  some  clothing  and  other  things 
for  Charlie  to  begin  the  store  with." 

I  refused  to  do  this,  and  told  him  I  did  not  see  any 
use  of  our  trying  to  run  a  store  in  Blueiield,  when 
the  one  here  was  about  to  go  under. 

When  my  husband  saw  that  I  was  not  going  to  as- 
sist him  in  selecting  the  clothing,  he  told  our  porter 
to  go  down  into  the  cellar  and  bring  five  large  boxes, 
and  pack  into  them  the  things  already  selected;  then 
hire  a  dray  and  have  them  hauled  to  the  Norfolk  and 
Western  depot,  so  that  they  would  reach  Mrs.  Agee 
on  the  following  day.  After  this,  I  left  the  store, 
and  thought  nothing  more  about  the  affair  until  a 
few  days  afterward.  Then  I  asked  Duncan  whether 
he  shipped  the  things  to  my  sister-in-law.     He  said : 

"No,  ma'am,  I  did  not;  but  placed  them  in  old  Mr. 
Beard's  basement,  as  he  wanted  to  send  his  daughter 
a  few  things  also." 

Our  porter  said  that  he  did  not  see  how  anything 
more  could  be  packed  into  the  boxes,  as  they  were 
already  full. 

After  this,  things  seemed  to  be  getting  on  nicely, 
and  I  was  beginning  to  think  we  would  yet  weather 
the  storm;  when,  all  at  once,  I  was  again  stricken 
down  with  grief,  on  account  of  receiving  the  sad  in- 
telligence of  my  sister  Flora's  serious  illness.     I  had 


78  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

hardly  finished  reading  the  first  message  when  an- 
other was  handed  me,  stating  that  she  was  dead.  The 
telegrams  fell  from  my  hands  to  the  floor,  and  I  said 
to  myself,  "Oh!  that  it  was  poor  heart-broken  me, 
instead  of  her,  as  she  had  something  to  live  for,  while 
I  have  nothing  and  long  to  be  at  rest." 

But  there  was  no  time  for  thought.  I  knew  that  I 
must  begin  making  preparations  to  attend  her  funeral, 
which  was  to  take  place  on  the  following  day.  So, 
with  the  assistance  of  my  friends,  I  was  made  ready ; 
and  that  evening  the  6  o'clock  southbound  train  bore 
me  away  from  our  city  to  the  historic  little  town  of 
Salisbury,  N.  C.  As  the  train  dashed  along,  I  whiled 
away  the  moments  by  wondering  whether  it  could  be 
possible  that  only  two  of  us  were  left  out  of  a  family 
of  ten  children.  I  also  recalled  the  many  happy  hours 
sister  and  I  had  spent  together  during  our  childhood 
days. 

While  thus  engaged,  the  conductor  called  out  "Lin- 
wood  !"  and  my  heart  sank  within  me,  for  I  knew  that 
in  a  few  minutes  I  would  reach  my  destination,  and  be 
ushered  into  the  presence  of  sister's  remains. 

On  reaching  her  residence,  I  beheld  the  dim  lights 
flickering  here  and  there,  plainly  telling  the  old,  old 
story,  that  the  Angel  of  Death  reigned  within. 

I  was  met  at  the  door  by  my  brother-in-law,  and, 
after  the  usual  greeting,  was  shown  into  the  room 
where  sister  lay  in  her  snowy  casket,  and  also  robed 
in  array  of  equal  whiteness,  awaiting  burial. 

Flora's  remains  reminded  me  of  that  happy  bride 
who,  a  few  years  before,  had  gone  down  the  aisle, 
stepping  lightly  to  the  sweet  strains  of  the  wedding 
march,  never  dreaming  for  the  moment  of  death — 
cruel  death ! — that  was  sure  to  come  sooner  or  later. 

The  day  following  my  arrival  in  Salisbury,  we  laid 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  79 

sister  to  rest  in  the  Lutheran  Cemetery.  As  they  low- 
ered the  casket  into  the  grave,  I  said,  "Now  I  must 
return  to  Winston  and  have  no  one  to  sympathize  with 
me  in  my  troubles." 

It  was  always  a  great  consolation  for  Flora  and  I 
to  correspond  with  each  other.  Whenever  anything 
unusual  happened  here  at  home,  my  first  thoughts 
were  of  her.  But  now  that  our  sisterly  ties  are  sev- 
ered, I  must  pass  away  the  time  as  best  I  know  how, 
until  I,  too,  am  called  to  follow  in  Flora's  footsteps. 


80  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

CHAPTER  IV. 

SOME  OP  JOHN'S  RASCALITY. 

On  my  return  from  Salisbury,  I  realized  that  soon 
our  business  must  go  under.  So  I  made  up  my  mind 
that  if  the  worst  came  to  the  worst,  that  I  would  be 
ready  to  meet  it  all  bravely.  I  told  my  husband  that 
things  might  have  been  otherwise-  if  he  had  acted 
differently,  but  as  it  was,  I  hoped  there  would  yet  be 
a  way  opened  up  for  us,  and  that  we  would  once  more 
roach  the  topmost  round  of  the  ladder. 

He  said  that  he  did  not  care  whether  we  did  or  not, 
as  he  never  expected  to  work  any  more,  but  would 
make  an  easy  living  if  he  had  to  do  so  by  stealing. 
He  told  me  that  he  was  going  to  begin  right  away, 
as  he  had  then  started  over  to  Gilmer,  Marler  &  Co.'s 
to  see  if  they  would  let  him  have  a  lot  of  goods  on 
time.     John  said : 

"Of  course  I  never  expect  to  pay  for  them,  but  that 
doesn't  matter.  And  I  also  am  going  to  beat  W.  L. 
Hill  and  D.  D.  Schouler  for  all  I  possibly  can." 

I  said,  "Why,  John,  you  ought  to  be  ashame  of 
yourself  for  committing  such  a  deed,  and  furthermore, 
I  don't  see  what  good  it  will  do  you." 

My  husband  then  gave  me  his  reason  for  wanting 
to  obtain  these  goods.  He  said  that  the  more  he  had 
in  store  when  the  failure  came,  the  longer  he  would 
lie  able  to  hold  a  position,  in  order  to  close  out  the 
stock. 

Well,  John  was  successful  in  regard  to  obtaining 
goods  from  the  firms  already  mentioned,  and  they 
lost  quite  a  little  sum  when  our  failure  occurred. 

One  thing  more  I  will  mention  in  connection  with 


A  DESERTED  WIPE.  81 

our  downfall  before  proceeding  with  my  narrative. 
A  few  days  previous  to  our  failure,  I  happened  to  step 
into  the  store,  and  my  husband  called  me  to  his  desk 
and  told  me  that  he  had  caught  young  Crowell  steal- 
ing from  him. 

I  said,  "Oh !  perhaps  you  were  mistaken,  or  at  least 
I  would  hate  to  believe  the  young  fellow  guilty  of 
such  an  act." 

My  husband  then  flew  into  a  passion  and  said : 

"Just  believe  what  you  please.  I  guess  I  know  a 
thing  when  I  see  it  with  my  own  eyes.  But  of  course 
you  would  be  willing  to  believe  someone  else  in  pref- 
erence to  your  husband." 

I  said,  "No,  not  at  all ;  but  at  the  same  time  would 
rather  give  young  Crowell  the  benefit  of  a  doubt," 

John  began  cursing,  and  said,  "Well,  I  will  be  even 
with  him  yet,  see  if  I  don't.  I  intend  telling  him 
that  I  am  in  a  very  close  place,  and  unless  he  will 
loan  me  $35  to  meet  a  sight  draft,  the  business  will 
go  to  thunder.  Let  me  once  get  the  money  in  my 
possession,  and  Crowell  may  whistle  twice  before  ever 
receiving  it  back  again.  And  there's  another  thing 
I  will  do  that  I  may  be  even  with  him  in  full.  He 
has  authorized  Eosenbacher  to  order  him  a  suit  of 
clothes,  which  will  be  here  Saturday.  I  shall  insist 
upon  his  taking  the  clothes,  and  also  upon  his  wearing 
them  Sunday.  Then  Saturday  night  I  will  make  an 
assignment,  and  on  Monday  Crowell  will  be  arrested 
for  obtaining  goods  upon  false  pretense,  and  I  guess 
that  will  put  a  quietus  upon  the  little  fellow." 

All  that  I  could  say  was — 

"Why,  John !  What  do  you  suppose  will  become 
of  you  for  doing  such  a  mean,  low-down  thing?  Noth- 
ing but  ill  luck  will  follow  you  from  this  time  forth." 


82  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

He  paid  no  attention  to  my  remarks,  but  went  ahead 
and  did  as  he  said  he  intended  doing,  and  I  suppose 
there  are  many  within  the  Twin  City  who  remember 
the  arrest  and  trial  and  acquittal  of  young  Crowell. 

On  the  night  my  husband  made  an  assignment,  I 
could  not  sleep,  but  walked  the  floor  of  my  room  at 
Hotel  Jones  in  an  excited  condition,  for  I  knew  that 
ere  another  morning  dawned  all  would  be  over,  and 
young  Crowell's  character  at  stake. 

It  was  not  until  2  a.  m.  that  I  heard  John's  foot- 
steps upon  the  stairs.  I  turned  on  the  lights  and 
opened  the  door  for  him  to  enter.  As  he  did  so,  he 
exclaimed : 

"Well,  everything  is  all  O.  K.,  and  that  rascal  has 
the  clothes  in  his  possession.  So,  on  Monday  morn- 
ing you  will  hear  of  his  arrest.    Ha !  ha  1" 

The  week  following  our  failure,  I  left  the  hotel  and 
went  in  search  of  another  boarding  place;  for,  of 
course,  we  could  not  remain  with  kind-hearted  Mr. 
Jones  any  longer,  although  he  requested  us  to  do  so 
until  our  business  affairs  were  gotten  into  shape 
again. 

Now,  to  show  you  that  Mr.  Jones  was  a  kind- 
hearted  man,  we  failed,  owing  him  $75,  and  I  insisted 
on  his  taking  my  jewelry  in  part  payment.  This  he 
refused  to  do,  and  told  me  to  keep  everything  I  had, 
and  try  to  begin  life  anew.  He  also  said  that  my  hus- 
band and  I  would  have  his  best  wishes  in  all  our  un- 
dertakings. 

On  leaving  Hotel  Jones,  we  went  to  the  Hanes 
House,  and  remained  there  about  sixteen  months. 
During  this  time  I  led  a  wretched  life,  as  John  was 
then  past  all  redemption,  and  spent  many  of  his  leis- 
ure hours  in  reading  Tom  Paine's  works,  eating 
opium  and  drinking  bromo-seltzer. 

My  husband  always  appeared  very  affectionate  to- 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  83 

ward  me  while  in  the  presence  of  the  boarders  at  the 
| lanes  House;  but  one  of  them  afterwards  remarked 
to  Mrs.  Hanes  that  John  and  I  would  scarcely  reach 
the  door  of  our  room  before  he  would  begin  cursing 
and  calling  me  all  kinds  of  vile  names,  which  I  buried 
within  my  bosom  and  never  divulged  to  anyone. 

Header,  I  would  spare  my  husband  if  I  could,  but 
can  not,  as  I  feel  that  it  would  be  impossible  for  me 
to  paint  him  the  dark  villain  that  he  is,  if  I  were  to 
try  from  now  until  the  dawn  of  Judgment  Day. 

Shortly  after  moving  to  the  Hanes  House,  John 
came  rushing  into  my  room  and  said : 

"Ida,  I  want  you  to  ask  Mrs.  Hanes  whether  she 
could  let  us  have  a  place  to  store  away  some  things." 

My  husband  also  told  me  to  say  to  our  landlady  that 
the  things  he  wanted  to  place  in  her  care  wTere  my 
bridal  presents. 

I  said,  "John,  I  will  do  nothing  of  the  kind,  as  I 
have  no  bridal  presents,  and  you  know  it." 

I  then  asked  him  what  it  was  he  intended  bringing 
to  the  Hanes  House,  and  he  said  : 

"A  wise  wife  will  know  nothing,  but  will  do  as  her 
husband  says." 

I  at  last  agreed  to  tell  Mrs.  Hanes  that  the  boxes 
placed  in  her  charge  contained  bridal  presents,  but 
did  not  say  they  were  my  own. 

On  the  day  my  husband  and  I  left  Hotel  Jones  for 
the  purpose  of  taking  up  our  abode  at  the  Hanes 
House,  we  passed  right  by  the  Wachovia  Loan  and 
Trust  Company's  bank.     As  we  did  so,  John  said : 

"Ida,  let's  stop  here  a  few  minutes.  I  have  some- 
thing to  show  you." 

We  entered  a  private  vault,  and  my  husband  said : 

"Did  you  ever,  in  all  your  life,  see  as  much  money 
in  one  place?" 


84  MY  OWN  LIFE;  OR 

1  said  no,  I  never  did,  and  wanted  to  know  who  it 
belonged  to.  I  received  no  reply  to  my  remarks  at 
lirst,  but  afterwards  John  said : 

"Well,  if  you  must  know  everything,  I  will  tell 
you.    .The  money  belongs  to  Jeff  Grogan  and  myself." 

I  said,  "Why  did  you  fail  when  you  had  this 
amount  of  money  on  hand  ?  But  now  that  you  have, 
I  Avant  you  to  go  right  away  and  pay  Mr.  Jones  the 
$75  Ave  owe  for  board." 

This  made  John  angry.  He  began  cursing  and  said 
"I  Avill  do  nothing  of  the  kind,  but  will  let  old  man 
Jones  stand  a  chance  Avith  the  rest  of  the  creditors, 
and  I  Avant  you  to  keep  mum  about  this  money  being 
here.  Noav,  if  you  are  a  true  Avife  you  Avill  merely 
look  and  say  nothing,  Avhen  you  knoAV  that  it  Avill  be 
to  your  interest  to  do  so." 

I  said,  "Well,  John.  You  knoAV  that  I  Avould  not 
give  you  away  under  any  circumstances,  but  still  it 
grieves  me  to  know  that  you  are  guilty  of  all  this 
dirty  work,  Avhen  there  is  no  need  of  it.  I  uoav  see 
Avhy  Jeff  Grogan  remained  in  our  store  most  of  the 
time  before  Ave  failed.  I  also  remember  of  his  saying 
to  you  one  morning  that  if  you  did  decide  to  make  an 
assignment  not  to  forget  him  as  you  Avent  along." 

After  Ave  had  been  installed  at  our  neAV  boarding 
house  for  three  months  or  more  my  husband  leased 
for  fiA'e  years  the  storeroom  adjoining  the  old  Cheap 
John  stand,  and  said  that  he  intended  opening  up  a 
china  parlor  therein,  as  his  cousin,  Peter  Beard,  was 
then  travelling  for  a  house  of  this  kind,  and  would 
sell  us  ware  cheaper  than  anyone  else. 

I  told  John  I  didn't  believe  an  enterprise  of  this 
kind  would  pay  in  Winston,  as  several  other  parties 
were  already  engaged  in  the  business.  However,  if  he 
decided  to  open  up  the  above-named  store,  I  would 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  85 

assist  him  all  I  possibly  could  by  staying  in  our  place 
myself  and  save  him  hiring  a  salesman.  This  I  after- 
wards did,  and  never  worked  harder  in  all  my  life 
than  on  Christmas  Eve  of  1894.  I  disposed  of  $21 
worth  of  ware  from  2  p.  m.  until  12  that  night,  and 
I  made  sure  that  my  husband  would  at  least  thank 
me  for  the  services  rendered  him  during  the  day,  but 
this  he  "did  not  do.  Neither  did  he  offer  me  a  single 
penny  with  which  to  purchase  something  for  my  own 
and  the  children's  Christmas,  and  my  feelings  were 
badly  wounded  on  account  of  it.  However,  I  let  it  all 
pass  and  hoped  for  the  better,  but  the  better  days 
never  came.     They  grew  worse  and  worse  instead. 

About  a  week  previous  to  our  opening  up  the  china 
parlor,  my  husband  came  home  to  dinner  one  day  and 
appeared  to  be  in  a  very  excited  frame  of  mind. 
Upon  entering  our  room  he  asked  me  whether  my 
father  had  been  there.  I  told  him  no,  not  that  I 
knew  of.     He  then  said : 

"Well,  I  do  declare.  It  does  look  as  though  I  have 
the  worst  luck  in  the  world.  Your  father  promised 
to  meet  me  here  at  half-past  12  without  fail,  and  it's 
nearly  that  time  now."  He  had  scarcely  finished 
speaking  when  father  stepped  into  the  room,  and  ex- 
claimed : 

"Well,  John,  here  I  am.  Now,  be  in  a  hurry  about 
what  you  are  going  to  do,  as  I  have  a  little  job  of 
work  to  finish  up  for  Fries  this  evening,  and  you 
know  I  am  never  behind  time." 

I  did  not  know  what  to  make  of  all  this  excitement, 
so  sat  still  with  mouth  and  eyes  both  wide  open,  until 
my  husband  said : 

"Now,  Mr.  Crumpler,  I  want  you  to  deposit  this 
money  in  Ida's  name,  and  tell  Blair  to  let  her  have  it 
in  small  quantities  or  all  at  once — just  which  way 
she  may  desire  when  calling  for  it." 


86  MY  OWN   LIFE,   OR 

I  was  completely  thunderstruck,  and  wanted  to 
know  where  the  money  came  from.  John  told  me 
that  Mr.  Will  Blair  loaned  him  $400  that  morning, 
and  had  given  him  three  years  in  which  to  refund  the 
money. 

I  thought  it  all  true,  and  said  : 

"Oh,  yes,  I  see.  You  want  to  leave  the  impression 
around  at  the  bank  that  papa  made  me  a  present  of 
the  amount  deposited."  My  husband  laughed  and 
said: 

"Exactly  so."     He  also  said  : 

"Why,  Ida,  I  have  always  thought  that  you  would 
make  a  splendid  dectective ;  now  I  know  it."  Then  I 
laughed  and  said : 

"Well,  perhaps  I  will  be  yet  one,  and  be  employed 
to  hunt  you  up  and  bring  you  to  justice  for  some- 
thing you  have  done."  Little  did  I  think  of  the 
storm  that  was  brewing  in  the  future. 

That  evening  when  John  returned  home  from  the 
store,  he  came  to  me  and  said : 

"Mamma,  I  have  been  feeling  very  badly  over  the 
falsehood  I  told  to-day,  and  now  I  want  to  rectify  it 
by  telling  you  the  truth.  Blair  did  not  loan  me  the 
money  your  father  deposited  in  your  name.  You 
remember,  I  was  only  to  receive  $10  per  week  for 
my  services  in  closing  out  the  old  stock,  but  Jeff 
Grogan  allowed  me  $20 — so  you  see  the  money  was 
my  own." 

I  said,  "Well,  I  don't  see  how  you  could  have  saved 
up  $400  in  this  length  of  time  if  you  did  get  $20  per 
week,  when  we  have  been  paying  $13  per  week  for 
board,  and  our  laundry  bill  has  been  $1.50  per  week 
besides." 

My  husband  said,  "Well,  well,  little  detective, 
believe  what  you  please,"  and  down  the  steps  he 
went. 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  87 

Now,  what  was  I  to  think?  I  had  been  told  two 
different  stories  in  regard  to  the  money  matter.  I 
was  more  than  surprised  at  my  father's  taking  any 
part  whatever  in  the  affair,  after  he  had  come  so  near 
losing  his  own  home  by  indorsing  John's  note  every 
month  in  order  that  he  might  carry  on  the  Cheap 
John  business.  The  last  note  my  father  indorsed  for 
us  he  called  to  see  me  a  few  days  before  it  was  due. 
and  said : 

"Well,  Ida,  I  just  came  to  say  that  you  all  must 
get  someone  else  to  indorse  for  you  next  month,  as  I 
do  not  approve  of  John's  spending  most  of  his  time 
on  a  bicycle  and  the  other  portion  of  it  out  with  his 
gun  and  dogs  hunting,  while  I  am  hard  at  work  trying 
to  keep  him  up,  but  will  do  so  no  longer,  and  you 
will  see  that  I  mean  what  I  say." 

Well,  of  course  I  did  see,  and  so  did  everyone  else, 
as  our  business  soon  went  under  and  my  husband 
with  it. 

During  our  stay  at  the  Hanes  House,  John  and  I 
spent  the  day  in  several  of  the  adjoining  cities, 
namely :  Greensboro,  Mocksville,  Wilkesboro  and 
Roanoke.  While  on  three  of  these  excursions  I  was 
treated  in  the  most  cruel  manner  by  the  wretch  whose 
name  I  bore.  The  first  time  was  in  Greensboro,  at 
the  Benbow  House;  he  carried  me  to  room  No.  15, 
then  left  me  with  no  one  to  converse  with,  and  not 
even  a  book  to  read.     On  leaving  me,  John  said: 

"Now,  Ida.  remain  right  where  you  are,  and  I  will 
be  back  within  ten  or  fifteen  minutes.  I  am  only 
going  down  in  the  office  to  smoke  a  bit." 

Now,  to  give  you  some  idea  of  his  minutes,  I  will 
say  that  he  did  not  return  until  5  o'clock  that  even- 
ing, and  it  was  only  1  p.  m.  when  he  took  his  depart- 
ure from  the  hotel.     Upon  his  return  he  seemed  anx- 


88  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

ious  to  know  how  I  had  passed  the  time  during  his 
absence. 

I  said,  "Oh,  as  well  as  could  be  expected,  with 
ntohing  to  do  but  sit  here  with  folded  hands,  looking 
around  and  wondering  where  3^011  were,  and  what  you 
were  doing." 

John  then  remarked  that  it  was  my  own  fault  if  I 
had  failed  to  pass  the  time  pleasantly. 

He  said,  "Why  didn't  you  go  out  into  the  parlor 
with  the  rest  of  the  ladies?" 

I  made  no  reply  to  his  last  remarks,  but  thought 
to  myself  that  had  I  done  so  I  never  would  have 
heard  the  last  of  it,  as  he  had  asked  me  to  remain  in 
my  room. 

I  look  back  now  and  wonder  why  I  made  myself 
such  a  slave  for  him — not  that  I  had  the  least  desire 
to  act  in  any  Avay  except  as  a  true  wife  should,  but 
at  the  same  time  deprived  myself  of  many  innocent 
pleasures,  such  as  conversing  with  my  own  sex  and 
treating  the  opposite  one  in  a  polite  manner. 

The  second  time  I  received  cruel  treatment  from 
my  husband  was  in  Roanoke,  at  Hotel  Eoanoke.  We 
had  left  home  that  morning  upon  what  I  thought 
was  going  to  be  a  day  of  pleasure.  But  on  reaching 
Eoanoke  I  soon  learned  that  I  was  to  pass  the  day  in 
a  very  different  manner  from  what  I  had  at  first  sup- 
posed. Once  more  I  was  left  alone  in  my  room  at  the 
hotel,  but  this  time  I  ventured  down  into  the  parlor, 
for  I  was  determined  not  to  while  away  the  moments 
as  I  had  done  in  Greensboro.  Afer  spending  an  hour 
or  so  in  trying  to  read,  I  returned  to  my  apartments 
and  began  examining  the  different  pieces  of  art  placed 
within.  From  my  surroundings,  I  imagined  I  was 
occupying  the  bridal  chamber,  and,  on  ringing  for 
water,  the  bell  boy  informed  me  that  my  surmise  was 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  89 

correct.  I  then  asked  him  whether  Mr.  Beard  had 
ordered  the  above-named  room. 

He  said,  "Yes,  ma'am !  Your  husband  ordered  the 
best  one  in  the  house ;  so  we  gave  you  this." 

At  first  I  could  not  conceive  why  John  had  ordered 
the  bridal  chamber.  But  after  thinking  a  moment  I 
said : 

"Now  I  see  through  it  all.  He  did  so  in  order  that 
he  might  censure  me  for  being  the  sole  cause  of  our 
trip  costing  a  snug  little  sum." 

Of  course  my  husband  never  counted  the  dollars  he 
himself  spent  foolishly.  I  was  the  one  to  blame  on 
every  occasion. 

After  remaining  away  about  five  hours,  John  en- 
tered our  room  at  Hotel  Roanoke  in  an  intoxicated 
condition,  and  exclaimed : 

"Well,  Ida,  I  have  just  been  to  the  office  and  set- 
tled our  bill.     What  do  you  suppose  it  was?" 

I  said,  "I  haven't  the  slightest  idea;  but  I  imagine 
it  was  somethiug  near  five  dollars,  as  we  have  put  on 
a  great  deal  of  style  around  here  to-day." 

John  began  cursing,  and  said : 

"Yes:  the  bill  was  85.  and  if  it  had  not  been  for 
your  demanding  the  bridal  chamber  it  would  not 
have  been  more  than  -82.50." 

I  asked  him  how  in  all  the  world  he  could  accuse 
me  of  ordering  the  bridal  chamber,  when  _  I  knew 
nothing  of  our  room  until  I  was  shown  into  it. 

I  said,  "You  also  know  that  I  insisted  on  our  stop- 
ping at  Catogni's  restaurant  instead  of  the  hotel,  but 
you  said  you  would  stop  at  Hotel  Roanoke  or  break 
a  trace.  So,  now,  here  we  are,  with  85  gone  out  of 
your  pocket — and  poor  little  me — I  am  to  blame  for 
it  all." 

After  I  had  ceased  speaking,  my  husband  picked 


90  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

up  our  belingings,  and  caught  me  by  the  arm  with  a 
vise-like  grip  and  said : 

"Now,  get  ready  and  follow  me  immediately." 

I  did  so,  and,  upon  reaching  the  front  piazza,  he 
told  me  to  be  seated,  and  remain  where  I  was  until 
he  again  called  for  me.  I  then  wanted  to  know  of  my 
husband  where  he  intended  going,  and  he  said : 

"I  don't  propose  telling  a  mite  like  you  my  busi- 
ness—just wait  and  see." 

With  these  remarks  he  mounted  a  bicycle  and  was 
soon  lost  to  view.  I  became  very  nervous  after  his 
departure,  as  it  was  nearing  the  hour  for  our  train  to 
leave  for  Winston.  I  consulted  my  watch  and  found 
that  it  only  lacked  twenty  minutes  of  the  time.  So 
1  made  up  my  mind  to  leave  the  hotel  and  start  to  the 
depot  alone.  About  half  way  down  the  walk  I  beheld 
John  coming  toward  me.  He  began  cursing,  and 
wanted  to  know  why  I  didn't  remain  where  I  was 
until  he  called  for  me.  I  told  him  that  I  didn't  pro- 
pose being  left  in  Koanoke  by  a  mite  like  him.  This 
increased  his  volley  of  oaths,  and  by  the  time  we 
reached  the  train  he  was  almost  ready  to  explode,  but 
refrained  from  doing  so  on  account  of  the  crowd 
around. 

On  our  return  home  I  promised  myself  never  to 
accompany  John  again  on  what  he  termed  a  pleasure 
trip.  However,  he  at  last  persuaded  me  to  try  him 
once  more.  So  early  one  morning  we  left  Winston 
for  the  quiet  little  city  of  Wilkesboro,  N.  0.  John 
appeared  to  be  in  a  very  pleasant  mood  until  we  were 
within  about  four  miles  of  our  destination.  Then  he 
told  me  that  he  intended  making  it  warmer  than  ever 
for  me. 

I  said,  "All  right !  I  have  come  prepared  this  time 
for  being  left  alone.  So  crack  your  whip  and  go 
ahead !" 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  *  91 

I  then  produced  a  roll  of  music  and  several  books. 
My  husband  tried  very  hard  to  snatch  them  from  me, 
but  I  was  a  little  too  quick  for  him,  and  back  into  the 
satchel  they  went  just  as  the  conductor  passed  through 
the  car  and  called  out  "Wilkesboro !"- — our  destina- 
tion. So,  of  course,  my  escort  had  no  time  to  wreak 
his  vengeance  upon  me,  but  was  compelled  to  put  on 
another  face,  and  to  assist  me  from  the  train  and  up 
to  the  hotel.  This  time  John  did  not  even  order  me 
a  room,  but  left  me  sitting  in  the  public  parlor,  where 
I  was  found  by  the  proprietor's  daughter  a  few  hours 
afterwards.  Miss  Sydnor  kindly  conducted  me  to  her 
own  apartments,  and,  after  bathing  my  swollen  face, 
I  endeavored  to  make  some  excuse  for  being  in  the 
plight  I  was  a  few  minutes  before.  Pretty  soon  after 
this  my  husband  returned  to  the  hotel,  bringing  with 
him  the  sweet  (?)  perfume  of  the  whiskey  bottle, 
which  was  such  a  shock  to  me  that  I  lost  one  of  my 
gloves  and  never  recovered  it  again.  I  made  sure  that 
John  would  at  least  remain  sober  this  one  time,  if  he 
treated  me  cruelly  otherwise.  On  entering  the  par- 
lor, he  said : 

"Well,  you  remember  I  told  you  on  our  way  here 
that  I  intended  giving  you  h — 11  to-day;  so,  here's  for 
the  first  dose  of  it."  With  these  remarks,  he  turned 
the  accursed  whiskey  flask  to  his  lips,  causing  me  to 
tremble  from  crown  to  heel.  I  stood  gazing  at  him 
for  a  moment,  then  snatched  the  bottle  from  his  hand 
and  tossed  it  out  of  the  window,  spilling  the  contents 
on  the  lawn  below.  Then  he  struck  me  across  the 
head  with  his  cane,  and  said : 

"G — d  d —  you.  I  guess  there's  plenty  more  where 
that  came  from,  and  I  am  the  one  that  can  buy  it, 
and  will  do  so  right  away.  So,  now,  I  am  off  to  the 
barroom.  If  you  do  not  see  me  again  before  train 
time,  you  know  the  way  to  Winston !" 


92  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

" :■ r  >,q  ' "  ,\      i     ■   fi  :   !"     ;  i   i" \  rflin  H'M: 

After  my  husband  had  left  the  hotel  I  tried  to 
amuse  myself  by  playing  over  several  of  the  pieces  I 
had  placed  in  my  satchel  on  leaving  home  that  morn- 
ing, but  after  awhile  I  said  to  myself,  "Music  hath 
no  charms  for  me  to-day."  So  I  left  the  piano,  and, 
on  glancing  around,  noticed  a  novel  lying  on  the  set- 
tee, entitled  "Tiger  Lilly;  or,  the  Woman  Who  came 
Between."  I  picked  up  the  book  and  walked  out  on 
the  front  piazza,  After  seating  myself  in  the  ham- 
mock, I  began  reading  and  became  very  much  inter- 
ested in  the  story,  as  it  reminded  me  somewhat  of 
my  own  life.  I  read  on  and  on,  until  I  reached  the 
25th  chapter,  then  my  husband  made  his  appearance, 
and  authorized  me  to  be  ready  within  five  minutes  to 
accompany  him  to  the  depot,  or  he  would  break  his 
cane,  and  also  his  whiskey  flask,  over  my  head.  On 
our  way  home  he  told  me  that  he  was  very  sorry  that 
he  had  treated  me  as  he  had  that  day.     He  then  said : 

"Ida,  let  your  precious  little  head  rest  here  upon 
my  shoulder,  and  tell  me  that  you  love  me  once 
again." 

I  looked  at  him  for  a  moment,  and  said : 

"John,  love  is  a  thing  of  the  past  with  me,  and  I 
can  never  feel  toward  you  as  I  have  in  days  gone  by. 
There  was  a  time  when  I  would  willingly  have  laid 
down  my  own  life  to  save  yours,  but  your  cruel  treat- 
ment has  at  last  driven  me  to  the  wall,  and  I  now 
hate  instead  of  love  you,  and  I  am  determined  that 
you  and  Jeff  Grogan  shall  suffer  yet  for  concealing 
the  goods  and  money  our  creditors  should  have  had. 
I  knew  there  was  something  wrong  the  morning  we 
opened  up  the  china  parlor,  when  you  authorized  Dun- 
can to  go  down  to  the  Hanes  House  and  get  the 
tilings  you  had  stowed  away  in  the  garret  and  bring 
them  in  at  the  rear  part  of  the  store,  as  they  were 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  93 

packed  in  the  old  Cheap  John  boxes,  and  yon  didn't 
care  to  have  everyone  know  it ;  and  I  was  more  than 
astonished  when  the  boxes  were  opened  and  I  beheld 
the  ware  I  had  thought  in  Mrs.  Agee's  possession 
long  ago.  Then,  too,  you  remember,  you  only  bought 
one  bill  of  goods  for  the  china  parlor,  as  you  had  con- 
cealed enough  of  your  old  stock  to  fill  the  store.  But 
still  you  say  that  you  did  nothing  wrong  and  want  to 
know  whether  or  not  I  love  you.  I  answer,  No !  No ! 
The  man  on  whom  I  bestow  my  affections  must  be 
an  honorable  one,  and  not  the  low-life  villain  you 
have  proven  yourself  to  be." 

Then,  all  at  once,  Captain  Holder  announced  Wins- 
ton-Salem, and  of  course  this  ended  our  conversa- 
tion. 

In  alighting  from  the  train,  John  seemed  perfection 
itself,  and  insisted  that  we  take  the  summer  car  in- 
stead of  walking  down  to  the  Hanes  House. 

He  did  this  on  account  of  there  being  quite  a  crowd 
gathered  at  the  depot. 

John  always  seemed  anxious  to  appear  perfectly  de- 
voted to  me  while  in  public,  and  the  cruel  treatment  I 
received  at  his  hands  was  in  the  privacy  of  my  own 
room,  either  at  home  or  in  other  places  where  I 
stopped. 

After  being  seated  in  the  car,  John  placed  his  arm 
around  my  shoulders  and  said  : 

"I  would  just  like  to  know  whether  my  little  dar- 
ling loves  her  old  John  boy  or  whether  she  really 
hates  him." 

I  paid  no  attention  to  all  his  love  making,  but  re- 
mained quiet,  and  by  the  time  we  reached  our  board- 
ing house  the  fuse  had  at  last  come  in  contact  with 
the  powder,  and  the  result  was  a  grand  explosion. 

After  clearing  away  the  debris,  I  resolved  within 


94  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

my  mind  never  again  to  accompany  John  upon  one 

of  his  so-called  pleasure  trips. 

Pretty  soon  after  our  return  from  Wilkesboro,  John 
came  to  my  room  and  informed  me  that  he  and  Jeff 
Grogan  were  going  to  New  York  that  evening  upon 
what  they  termed  a  pleasure  trip. 

I  said,  "What,  and  leave  me  alone  in  charge  of  the 
business?" 

My  husband  said,  "Yes,  why  not?  You  are  capable 
of  managing  it  as  well  as  I,  and  I  intend  going 
whether  you  are  willing  for  me  to  or  not." 

He  then  left  me,  and  I  afterwards  donned  my- hat 
and  gloves  for  the  purpose  of  visiting  our  place  of 
business.  On  nearing  it  I  noticed  my  husband  and 
Grogan  standing  in  the  front  door  engaged  in  a  close 
conversation.  I  knew  in  a  minute  that  something 
was  wrong,  so  walked  around  to  the  rear  part  of  the 
store.     Upon  entering  I  heard  John  say: 

"I  just  don't  see  how  I  can  go  and  leave  her  in 
charge  of  things  here  the  way  they  are, at  present." 

I  thought  to  myself,  now  I  will  see  what  they  are 
up  to,  so  I  dropped  down  behind  a  stack  of  shoes  and 
baskets. 

As  I  did  so  Grogan  said,  "Well,  John,  do  as  you 
please  about  the  matter ;  but  if  you  will  take  my  ad- 
vice, now  is  the  time  for  you  to  skip,  as  that  wife  of 
yours  knows  too  much.  And  before  you  know  it  you 
will  be  wearing  stripes  around  here.  Do  you  see, 
old  boy?" 

John  yawned,  and  said,  "Oh!  I  don't  think  there 
will  be  any  danger  of  it,  and  I  suppose  I  will  be  com- 
pelled to  leave  off  going  with  you  this  time." 

Then  Grogan  turned  around  and  exclaimed : 

"Well,  time's  up,  and  I  intend  taking  the  trip 
whether  you  accompany  me  or  not,  so  plank  down 
the  money;  but  wait,  is  the  way  clear?" 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  95 

John  said,  "Oh,  yes;  there's  no  one  here  except 
yon  and  I." 

He  then  went  to  the  safe  and  counted  out  |70  in 
silver  and  laid  them  upon  the  counter.  After  doing 
this  he  again  placed  his  hand  into  the  safe  and  drew 
forth  an  old  sock,  taking  therefrom  $15  in  greenbacks. 

After  placing  this  along  with  the  rest,  he  said : 

"Well,  Jeff,  there  she  is,  and  good  luck  to  you." 

Grogan  said,  "All  right,  and  now  mum  must  be 
the  word." 

Then  John  remarked  that  there  were  more  ways  of 
killing  a  dog  besides  choking  him  to  death  on  honey. 

The  conversation  being  ended,  Grogan  pocketed  the 
money  and  was  in  the  act  of  leaving  the  store  when 
I  arose  from  my  hiding  place  and  said  : 

"No,  the  way  isn't  clear;  but  I  dare  either  one  of 
you  to  say  a  word  to  me;  if  you  do  I  will  call  an  offi- 
cer to  you  immediately." 

They  both  looked  as  if  a  thunderbolt  had  struck 
them,  and  well  they  might,  for  I  at  last  had  them  in 
my  power,  and  they  knew  there  was  no  way  of  escape. 


96  MY   OWN   LIFE,  OR 


CHAPTER  V. 

JOHN  ENTERS  THE  MAGISTRATE  BUSINESS. 

Grogan  left  for  New  York  that  evening,  while  John 
remained  at  home  in  order  to  close  out  the  business, 
and  afterwards  went  in  partnership  with  P.  T.  Leh- 
man as  justice  of  the  peace.  I  did  not  approve  of 
this  new  position — -as  I  considered  it  very  demoral- 
izing' and  told  my  husband  so.  He  didn't  agree  with 
me,  but,  on  the  other  hand,  thought  his  present  occu- 
pation refining,  and  declared  that  he  would  do  noth- 
ing else.  So,  day  after  day  for  six  months  or  more  he 
was  seen  sitting  back  with  a  bottle  of  bromo-seltzer 
by  his  side  in  that  miserable  old  pigeon  hole  in  the 
Buxton  &  Lemly  block,  engaged  in  doing  what? 
Why,  nothing,  so  far  as  providing  for  his  family  was 
concerned.  I  was  compelled  to  look  out  for  a  cheaper 
dwelling  place,  and  very  often  9  o'clock  at  night 
found  me  standing  in  A.  Savery's  pawnshop,  dispos- 
ing of  my  jewelry  and  other  trinkets  given  me  when 
a  child.  I  was  forced  to  do  this  in  order  to  obtain 
food  and  shelter  for  myself  and  children,  and  no  one 
knew  but  what  it  was  my  husband  who  was  supply- 
ing us  with  the  necessaries  of  life.  During  my  girl- 
hood I  had  heard  of  women  being  compelled  to  earn 
a  livelihood  in  this  way,  but  little  did  I  think  at  the 
time  that  I,  Ida  May  Crumpler,  who  was  reared  in 
luxury,  would  ever  come  to  want,  and  be  seen  stand- 
ing in  a  public  pawnshop  disposing  of  my  wares  in 
order  to  obtain  food  and  lodging. 

Just  before  leaving  the  Hanes  House,  John  in- 
formed me  that  we  owed  the  landlady  $12  for  board. 

I  said,  "Well,  we  haven't  the  money  to  pay  her; 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  97 

but  perhaps  she  will  accept  something  else  instead, 
or  at  least  you  might  ascertain  whether  she  would  or 
not." 

He  afterwards  told  me  that  Mrs.  Hanes  had  as  soon 
have  our  book  case  as  the  money. 

I  said,  "Very  well.  She  may  have  it,  and  I  will 
find  another  place  for  our  books  immediately." 

I  did  so,  and  those  visiting  the  Hanes  House  to-day 
will  have  the  opportunity  of  beholding  the  piece  of 
furniture  I  prized  so  highly  on  account  of  its  having 
a  very  sad  history  connected  with  it. 

I  felt  somewhat  relieved  after  this  debt  had  been 
paid,  or  at  least  I  thought  so  at  the  time,  but  have 
since  learned  that  we  were  due  Mrs.  Hanes  $75  in- 
stead of  $12.  Why  John  always  took  a  delight  in 
deceiving  me  I  do  not  know,  but  I  suppose  in  this 
instance  he  had  disposed  of  the  goods  at  the  store  and 
appropriated  the  money  to  some  other  cause  instead 
of  paying  the  landlady,  and  didn't  care  to  have  me 
know  it. 

I  was  loth  to  leave  our  apartments  at  the  Hanes 
House,  as  they  were  very  comfortable — having  had 
them  arranged  to  suit  my  own  notion;  but  when  I 
learned  that  we  were  unable  to  pay  for  them,  I  turned 
them  over  to  the  landlady  without  a  murmur,  and 
took  up  my  abode  in  one  room  in  the  Montague 
Building,  over  the  Western  Union  Telegraph  office. 

There,  again,  I  passed  the  days  in  sadness,  as  my 
husband  delighted  in  showing  me  the  miserable  life 
he  was  living.  He  refused  to  accompany  me  to  church 
and  the  few  minutes  he  remained  at  home  were  spent 
in  reading  Tom  Paine's  works,  and  declaring  that  if 
our  children  grew  up  to  believe  in  the  Bible,  he  would 
break  their  d —  necks.  This  assertion  made  me  shud- 
der, when  I  thought  of  the  two  bovs  God  had  en- 
4 


98  MY  OWN- LIFE,  OR 

trusted  to  our  care;  what  was  to  become  of  them  I 
did  not  know.  But  I  thought  that  with  such  a  faher 
their  fate  would  be  a  sad  one.  Oh,  infldelism!  why 
art  thou  allowed  in  a  civilized  community?  While 
living  in  the  Montague  Building  my  children  and  I 
were  very  often  compelled  to  go  without  food  for  days 
at  the  time,  unless  I  was  able  to  dispose  of  some 
article  in  the  way  of  jewelry  or  furniture.  After 
doing  this  I  would  always  recall  to  mind  the  widow 
who  said  glad  was  she  when  she  could  buy  a  shilling's 
worth  of  bread.  The  last  piece  of  jewelry  to  go  was 
my  engagement  ring.  This  I  turned  over  and  over 
in  my  hand,  saying  as  I  did  so — 

"Is  it  possible  that  I  must  part  with  the  only  re- 
maining tie  that  binds  me  to  the  man  I  once  loved, 
but  now  abhor?" 

My  ring  bore  the  initials  "J.  L.  B.  to  I.  M.  C," 
and  on  account  of  this  I  could  not  bear  the  idea  of 
disposing  of  it  as  it  was,  so  I  pounded  it  into  a  solid 
mass  of  gold,  selling  the  same  to  A.  Savery  for  the 
s^mall  sum  of  $2.50.  This  amount  seemed  almost  a 
fortune  to  me  that  morning,  as  the  ground  was  cov- 
ered with  snow,  and  two  hungry  children  standing 
at  my  side  crying  for  bread.  After  leaving  the  pawn- 
shop, I  purchased  a  load  of  wood,  then  food  for  the 
children's  breakfast  and  the  remaining  portion  of  the 
money  I  paid  to  H.  Montague  for  rent  due  him.  As 
the  coins  fell  upon  his  desk  I  said  to  myself,  "There's 
the  end  of  another  fatal  wedding." 

John  had  left  home  the  evening  before  all  this  oc- 
curred on  important  business,  so  he  said,  and  had  not 
returned  up  to  this  time.  I  afterwards  learned  some- 
thing in  regard  to  the  important  business,  and  when 
I  made  bold  to  mention  it  to  my  husband,  he  cursed 
me,  and  said  that  he  was  tempted  to  break  every 
bone  in  my  body. 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  99 

I  said,  "Yes,  but  you  do  not  even  dare  to  attempt 
such  a  thing,  knowing  as  you  do  the  secret  I  carry 
within  my  bosom,  and  were  you  to  strike  me  one 
blow,  the  town  should  ring  with  your  villainous 
work !" 

My  husband  did  not  raise  his  hand  toward  me  this 
time,  but  left  the  room,  slamming  the  door  in  my 
face.  He  reopened  it  long  enough  to  say  that  he 
wished  I  was  dead  and  in  h — .  I  told  him  I  did  not 
see  why  he  wished  me  there,  as  it  would  also  be  his 
future  stopping  place. 

At  this  period,  Arthur  Tuttle,  the  negro  who  shot 
and  mortally  wounded  M.  M.  Vickers,  one  of  our 
worthy  policemen,  was  placed  on  trial  for  his  life, 
and  on  the  evening  previous  to  this  event,  John  came 
home  earlier  than  usual,  and  authorized  me  to  take 
our  room  key  and  open  the  door  of  L.  M.  Swink's 
office,  for  the  purpose  of  obtaining  his  North  Carolina 
Code,  in  order  that  Jeff  Grogan,  the  negro's  attorney, 
might  enlighten  himself  in  regard  to  points  pertain- 
ing to  the  trial.  My  husband  told  me  that  if  I  refused 
to  do  as  he  said,  he  would  kill  me  on  the  spot.  So, 
with  clasped  hands,  I  fell  at  his  feet  and  implored 
him  to  strike  the  blow  that  would  end  my  wretched 
life,  rather  than  force  me  to  take  that  which  did  not 
belong  to  me.  John  struck  me;  then  took  our  key 
and  opened  Swink's  office  door  himself,  taking  there- 
from the  literature  Grogan  desired,  and  afterwards 
left  the  building.  Where  he  went  I  do  not  know,  but 
suppose  it  was  either  to  his  own  or  Grogan's  office. 
At  any  rate,  he  did  not  return  home  until  between  2 
and  3  o'clock  in  the  morning.  In  his  hurry  he  for- 
got several  of  Mr.  Swink's  books,  and  on  the  follow- 
ing day  when  the  young  lawyer  entered  his  office,  he 
discovered    that   someone   had   been   turning   things 


100  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

topsy-turvy  within ;  so  lie  made  inquiry  as  to  whether 
I  knew  of  anyone  entering  his  place  of  business.  I 
told  him  all,  and  on  my  husband's  return  he  cursed 
me  for  everything  he  could  think  of,  and  threatened 
to  leave  me  in  the  bargain.  I  again  told  him  to  go ! 
— and  the  sooner  the  better,  as  our  lives  had  grown 
to  be  a  burden  to  us  both. 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  101 

CHAPTER  VI. 

SOME  INTERESTING  FACTS  CONCERNING  THE  RIOT  OF  1895. 

John  was  not  only  guilty  of  stealing  the  books, 
but  for  the  small  sum  of  $25  he  swore  to  a  falsehood 
and  selected  the  jurors  in  the  Tuttle  case,  and  also 
prompted  Grogan  during  his  speech.  For  this  he 
was  afterwards  duly  censured  by  the  police  force. 

But  the  worst  of  all  was  yet  to  come,  and  I  am 
sure  the  public  will  be  more  than  surprised  when  I 
proclaim  that  John  Lewis  Beard — my  husband — par- 
ticipated in  the  never-to-be-forgotten  riot  in  1895, 
when  Charlotte,  a  neighboring  city,,  came  to  our  as- 
sistance, bringing  with  her  the  wonderful  piece  of 
mechanism  familiarly  known  as  the  Gatlin  gun.  The 
mere  sight  of  this  weapon  quelled  the  riot,  causing 
peace  and  harmony  to  reign  once  more  within  our 
town.  A  few  hours  previous  to  the  beginning  of  the 
riot  my  husband  told  me  that  I  must  not  venture 
out  upon  the  street,  but  remain  indoors,  as  there 
would  be  an  uprising  of  the  colored  population  by  9 
o'clock,  and  he  was  very  much  afraid  that  someone 
would  be  killed.  I  asked  him  the  cause  of  all  this  dis- 
turbance. 

He  said,  "Well,  it  is  thought  that  Tuttle  will  be 
lynched  to-night,  and  his  friends  are  determined  that 
those  d —  white  rascals  around  here  shall  be  foiled  in 
their  attempt." 

After  making  these  remarks  he  walked  to  the  rear 
end  of  the  hall  and  picked  up  a  large  claw  hammer, 
saying  as  he  did  so  that  he  was  going  to  conceal  him- 
self in  Lawyer  Swink's  closet,  and  in  case  an  officer 
came  for  him  I  must  say  he  was  already  on  duty. 


102  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

I  said,  "What !— tell  a  falsehood  to  shield  you,  after 
doing  what  you  have?" 

I  had  scarcely  uttered  the  last  syllable  when  I  heard 
someone  mounting  our  stairs,  and  I  suppose  John 
did,  too,  for  as  quick  as  lightning  he  was  inside  the 
closet,  motioning  me  to  turn  the  key.  I  did  so,  and 
then  stepped  back  into  the  hall.  On  drawing  aside 
the  portiere,  I  beheld  two  officers  of  the  law  in  quest 
of  my  husband.  With  the  key  in  my  hand,  I  stood 
gazing  at  them  for  a  moment,  then  said : 

"John  isn't  here,  but  at  the  Municipal  Building  in 
service.  If  you  doubt  my  veracity  in  regard  to  the 
matter,  you  are  at  liberty  to  search  our  apartments." 

I  then  threw  wide  the  doors  for  them  to  enter. 
This  they  did  not  do,  but  returned  to  the  street  none 
the  wiser  as  to  John's  whereabouts.  And  on  the  fol- 
lowing day,  when  things  had  grown  more  quiet,  my 
husband  admitted  to  me  that  it  was  he  who  wrote 
the  letter  to  the  colored  divine  requesting  him  to  dis- 
perse his  congregation  in  order  that  they  might  sur- 
round the  city  prison  for  the  purpose  of  protecting 
Tuttle,  the  prisoner  within. 

A  few  days  previous  to  this  occurrence  I  happened 
to  come  across  an  unsealed  letter  addressed  to  Colonel 
Boyd,  of  Greensboro.  The  contents  of  the  missive 
were  that  he  could  employ  my  husband  for  the  paltry 
sum  of  |25  to  select  the  jurors  in  the  Tuttle  case,  as 
he  had  a  great  deal  of  influence  over  the  countrymen, 
therefore  was  considered  the  very  one  to  accomplish 
this  work.  I  presented  the  letter  to  my  husband,  and 
asked  who  was  the  author  of  it.  He  told  me  that 
Jefferson  Grogan,  his  attorney,  was. 

I  said,  "It  does  look  as  if  Grogan  is  to  forever  be 
connected  with  your  affairs,  and  he  will  be  the  cause 
of  your  ruin  yet,  unless  you  play  quits  with  him,  and 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  103 

that  soon.  Surely,  surely,  you  will  do  so,  when  you 
stop  to  think  of  how  I  lied — yes,  lied — in  order  to 
protect  you  on  the  night  of  the  riot.  Then  it  was  I 
had  you  in  my  power,  and  could  have  turned  you 
over  to  the  officers  of  the  law  without  a  moment's 
warning,  but,  instead,  I  sacrificed  my  own  soul  to 
save  you.  And  now,  for  the  sake  of  the  past,  I  im- 
plore you  to  treat  Grogan's  pretended  friendship  with 
coolness,  ere  it's  too  late." 

When  the  T-uttle  trial  was  over,  and  the  Judge  had 
sentenced  the  negro  to  our  State's  Prison  at  manual 
labor  for  the  term  of  25  jears,  John  remarked  that 
money  had  at  least  saved  the  boy's  neck,  but  that  he 
and  Grogan  had  worked  hard  to  keep  from  view  the 
black  cap.  My  husband  said  at  one  time  they  made 
sure  that  they  had  lost  their  case  on  account  of  the 
d —  little  Vickers  children,  who  sat  sniveling  in  the 
court-room. 

I  said,  "John,  you  must  not  forget  that  you  have 
two  boys  in  this  city  who  jrslj  at  some  future  day  be 
trampled  upon,  and.  all  on  account  of  the  doings  of 
you,  their  father." 

My  husband  then  remarked  that  he  did  not  care 
what  became  of  his  children,  as  he  intended  leaving 
Winston  very  soon — was  only  staying  a  few  days  for 
a  purpose.  For  the  time  he  remained  after  this  he 
spent  his  nights  away  from  home,  telling  me  that  he 
was  trying  to  build  up  a  good  name  by  assisting 
those  who  were  searching  for  the  negroes  who  escaped 
from  the  prison  during  the  riot.  I  have  since  learned 
that  he  was  doing  nothing  of  the  kind,  but  was  seen 
frequenting  houses  of  ill-fame,  and  also  lying  around 
police  headquarters,  telling  them  there  that  I  was  a 
perfect  shrew,  and  would  not  allow  him  to  remain  at 
home,  therefore  he  was  forced  to  seek  lodging  else- 
where. 


104  MY  OWN  LIFE;  OR 

Oh,  the  villain !  Why  does  God  let  him  go  unpun- 
ished? With  all  my  poverty  I  would  not  stand  in  his 
shoes  to-day.  He  is  now  an  outlaw,  ostracized 
from  his  own  community,  and  were  his  just  dues 
meted  out  to  him,  he  would  be  wearing  stripes — not 
the  red,  white  and  blue — but  gray  and  white  alone, 
the  emblem  of  our  State  Prison. 

While  occupying  the  pigeon-hole  in  the  Buxton  & 
Lemly  block,  John  came  near  murdering  me,  by 
striking  me  over  my  neck  and  shoulders  with  a  large 
piece  of  rope.  I  had  barely  entered  his  office  when 
he  began  cursing,  and  told  me  to  leave  immediately. 

I  said :  "Well,  I  have  only  come  to  ask  for  food,  as 
the  children  and  I  are  very  hungry.  We  have  had 
nothing  to  eat  since  yesterday  morning,  and  I  think 
it  your  duty  to  provide  something  for  us." 

He  arose  from  his  chair,  and  I  thought  was  going 
in  quest  of  food,  but,  instead,  he  caught  me  by  the 
arm,  and,  with  an  oath,  pushed  me  down  the  steps. 
In  my  descent  I  caught  to  a  piece  of  timber  that  was 
protruding  out  from  the  wall.  This  somewhat  broke 
my  fall,  and  I  was  just  gaining  my  equilibrium  when 
John  struck  me  with  the  rope,  causing  quite  a  crowd 
to  gather  around  the  door.  It  was  sometime  after 
this  before  I  was  able  to  walk  down  to  my  room  in 
the  Montague  Building,  and  on  the  following  day  my 
neck  and  arm  were  all  swollen,  and  bore  the  print  of 
John's  fingers  and  the  piece  of  hemp. 

A  few  days  after  this  occurrence  John  met  me  on 
the  street  in  front  of  D.  D.  Schouler's  racket  store 
and  informed  me  that  he  had  received  a  message  from 
J.  D.  Dickens,  of  Bluefield,  W.  Va.,  stating  that  he 
would  like  very  much  to  have  him  come  on  imme- 
diately to  the  above-named  place,  in  order  to  close 
out  a  stock  of  goods  he  then  had  on  hand.  Without 
giving  me  time  to  reply,  John  said : 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  105 

"I  am  going  in  the  morning,  whether  you  want 
me  to  or  not." 

I  said :  "Why,  I  am  only  too  glad  to  know  that  you 
have  at  last  secured  a  position  that  will  pay  better 
than  your  present  one,  and  I  will  do  all  I  possibly  can 
in  order  to  get  you  ready  by  to-morrow  morning." 

I  then  repaired  to  our  apartments  and  began  pack- 
ing up  my  husband's  clothing.  While  thus  engaged, 
I  had  a  presentment  that  he  would  never  return.  So, 
I  penned  a  brief  note,  and  placed  it  in  one  of  his  vest 
pockets.  I  implored  him  not  to  forget  his  little  fool, 
as  he  always  called  me,  but  to  remember  that  I  had 
clung  to  him  through  adversity  and  prosperity,  and 
would  still  do  so  if  he  would  only  try  to  do  half-way 
right  and  change  his  mode  of  living.  When  the  last 
article  had  been  neatly  folded  and  packed  in  the 
valise,  for  the  sake  of  the  past,  I  imprinted  a  kiss 
upon  them.  And  a  prayer  went  up  to  the  Infinite 
Throne  that  John  would  yet  reform  and  rear  in  the 
right  path  the  two  boys  God  had  given  us. 

That  evening  on  coming  to  supper  my  husband  ap- 
peared to  be  very  affectionate,  and  said  that  he  hated 
to  leave  the  children  and  I  alone. 

I  said :  "Well,  of  course  we  will  miss  you,  but  at 
the  same  time  I  am  going  to  view  the  matter  from  a 
sensible  standpoint,  knowing,  as  I  do,  that  unless  yon 
obtain  employment  at  something  we  will  be  com- 
pelled to  perish  during  the  winter."  After  eating 
supper  John  visited  his  father  and  remained  with 
him  until  11  o'clock,  and  on  returning  to  our  apart- 
ments, he  exclaimed : 

"Well,  Ida,  I  guess  you  will  not  be  called  upon  to 
open  the  door  for  me  again  in  a  long  while." 

I  said :  "Why,  you  speak  as  though  you  never  in- 
tended to  return." 


106  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

He  looked  at  me  a  moment,  then  said : 

"You  bet  old  John  will  come  back  to  his  little  girl 
— he  could  not  live  without  her,  and,  to-morrow, 
when  I  leave,  I  want  you  to  pin  a  boquet  of  flowers 
on  my  coat,  so  that  I  may  feel  as  though  my  darling 
still  retains  a  small  portion  of  love  for  me." 

He  then  kissed  me,  and  said  that  I  was  dearer  to 
him  than  any  living  creature  upon  earth. 

Oh,  the  villain!  the  dark,  dark  villain!  Why  was 
it  that  God  did  not  strike  him  dead  upon  the  spot? 

The  following  day  was  the  holy  Sabbath,  and  the 
one  on  which  John  was  to  take  his  departure  from 
Winston  to  that  miserable  little  mining  town,  Blue- 
field,  W.  Va. 

After  passing  a  sleepless  night,  I  arose  at  6  a.  m. — 
just  as  I  had  done  in  the  long,  long  ago,  on  my  wed- 
ding morn.  After  preparing  our  morning  repast,  I 
gently  called  my  husband,  and  told  him  that  it  was 
time  to  be  getting  up,  so  that  he  might  not  miss  the 
11  o'clock  train.  John  did  not  breakfast  at  home, 
but  went  off  to  his  father's  residence  for  that  pur- 
pose, and  to  receive  a  few  more  instructions,  I  sup- 
pose, or  at  least  I  judge  so  from  what  I  afterwards 
learned.  About  twenty-five  minutes  to  11  John  en- 
tered my  room  and  said : 

"Mamma,  I  guess  it's  time  we  were  going  down  to 
the  depot;  so  come  kiss  me  before  leaving  here,  and 
pin  on  my  boquet?" 

I  did  as  he  requested  me,  then  we  all  left  home  for 
the  station.  On  our  way  down  to  the  station  my 
husband  handed  me  the  key  to  his  office  and  told  me 
whatever  I  did,  not  to  let  old  man  Lehman  get  pos- 
session of  it,  but  to  hold  it  until  further  notice  from 
him.  Well,  I  would  have  died  rather  than  to  have 
given  up  the  key  to  anyone,  and  John  knew  it.     In 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  107 

a  few  days  after  he  had  taken  his  departure  from  the 
city,  his  partner  demanded  of  me  the  key  I  had  in  my 
possession,  telling  me  he  didn't  think  John  ever  in- 
tended coming  back  again.  I  positively  refused  to 
comply  with  Mr.  Lehman's  request,  although  he 
threatened  me  with  an  officer.  I  told  him  that  I 
would  give  up  the  key  the  moment  my  husband  au- 
thorized me  to  and  not  before.  I  also  told  the  Justice 
of  the  Peace  that  he  was  perfectly  at  liberty  to  send 
the  whole  police  force  to  my  apartments  if  he  so  de- 
sired, and  X  would  give  them  a  warm  reception,  but 
the  key  would  still  be  mine.  I  then  betook  myself 
to  the  Western  Union  Telegraph  office  for  the  purpose 
of  wiring  my  husband  as  to  what  I  should  do  in 
regard  to  giving  up  the  key.  The  answer  I  received 
was — 

"Why,  certainly,  turn  the  key  over  to  Mr.  Lehman 
at  once." 

I  did  so,  and  this  ended  the  key  question. 

Shortly  after  this,  I  received  my  first  money  order 
from  John.  The  order  called  for  f 5,  which  was  very 
much  appreciated,  as  we  were  nearly  out  of  food  and 
fuel.  Accompanying  the  money  was  the  most  affec- 
tionate letter  I  ever  read.  My  husband  went  on  to 
say  that  he  had  never  realized  until  then  how  dearly 
he  loved  me;  that  if  he  could  only  be  with  me  once 
more,  he  would  never  leave  me  alone  again  at  night, 
but  would  remain  at  home  in  order  to  make  my  life 
bright  and  happy. 

Oh,  God!  I  afterwards  learned  why  it  was  that 
John  had  penned  this  missive,  and  he  was  also  the 
author  of  two  more  likewise,  all  three  being  for  the 
same  motive. 

Well,  money  and  letters  continued  to  arrive  until 
the  week  before  Christmas — then,  all  at  once,  both 


108  MY  OWN  LIFE;  OE 

ceased.  I  became  uneasy  about  my  husband,  and 
wrote  him  several  times,  asking  the  cause  of  his  long 
silence.  Each  time  I  failed  to  receive  reply  to  my 
letters;  so  I  wired  him,  but  still  no  answer  came. 
What  to  do  I  didn't  know,  as  we  were  entirely  with- 
out food.  This  was  Monday  evening,  and  we  had 
tasted  nothing  since  Sunday  morning,  and  were  be- 
ginning to  feel  very  hungry.  The  children  were  cry- 
ing, and  I  tried  to  comfort  them  by  saying : 

"Papa  will  surely  send  money  to-morrow,  and  we 
will  have  a  happy  Christmas  yet." 

But  alas !  the  morrow  came,  bringing  with  it  no 
money;  nor  was  there  any  tidings  of  our  absent  one, 
and  I  was  about  to  give  up  in  despair,  when,  all  at 
once,  some  one  rapped  upon  the  door.  On  opening 
it,  I  beheld  two  gentlemen  and  a  lady  in  quest  of  my 
madstone.  I  was  overcome  with  joy,  and  requested 
the  parties  to  be  seated  in  the  hall  until  I  could  make 
arrangements  to  apply  the  stone.  I  had  never  done 
the  like  before,  but  I  went  about  the  matter  just  as 
though  I  had,  and  am  sure  that  my  patient  never  dis- 
covered but  what  I  had  been  accustomed  to  perform- 
ing the  feat  all  my  life.  I  was  not  thinking  of  myself, 
but  of  my  two  hungry  children,  who  had  retired  sup- 
perless.  The  lady's  hands  had  been  badly  lacerated 
by  the  rabid  dog,  and  it  required  seven  stones  to 
cover  her  wounds.  I  dipped  the  stones  in  lukewarm 
water,  and  then  applied  them,  as  I  had  seen  my  hus- 
band do.  The  stones  adhered  immediately,  and  re- 
mained sticking  for  forty-eight  hours — the  greatest 
length  of  time  on  record.  The  lacty  seemed  very  much 
pleased  with  my  treatment,  and  requested  that  I  give 
her  lodgings  for  the  remainder  of  the  night.  This  I 
told  her  I  could  not  do,  as  I  only  occupied  one  room 
and  part  of  the  hall,  but  would  refer  her  to  a  com- 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  109 

fortable  boarding-house,  which  I  did,  and  saw  noth- 
ing more  of  my  guests  until  morning.  In  my  excite- 
ment I  had  forgotten  that  John  always  required  the 
money  in  advance.  So  now  I  knew  I  would  be  com- 
pelled to  wait  until  the  stones  dropped  off.  I  was  in 
hopes  they  would  do  so  on  the  following  day,  as  the 
children  and  I  were  growing  very  weak  from  want 
of  food.  Basil's  lips  had  turned  to  an  ashy  paleness ; 
in  fact,  he  was  too  weak  to  even  walk  across  the 
room,  and  still  no  tidings  came  from  my  truant  hus- 
band. Once  more  what  to  do  I  didn't  know.  From 
my  window  I  could  see  father  passing  too  and  fro 
along  the  street.  I  thought — oh,  how  near  and  yet 
so  far! — as  years  ago  I  had  promised  him  never  to 
call  upon  him  to  aid  me  under  any  circumstances, 
and  now,  rather  than  do  so  at  this  late  day,  I  would 
see  my  children  perish ! — yes,  perish  before  my  eyes. 

On  the  following  day,  my  patient  made  her  appear- 
ance, but,  to  my  great  disappointment,  the  stones, 
instead  of  being  off,  were  still  sticking,  and  no  signs 
of  coming  off  soon.  The  parties  appeared  anxious  to 
return  home.  So  I  insisted  that  if  the  stones  were 
not  off  by  morning,  they  do  so,  after  paying  me  $5 
for  applying  the  stones,  and  also  give  good  security 
for  the  safe  return  of  them  when  they  finally  came 
off.  This  was  Tuesday,  and  Christmas  eve,  1895, 
with  not  a  cent  of  money  in  the  house,  and  we  had 
been  without  food  for  nearly  three  whole  days.  I 
was  almost  insane,  so  I  wired  my  husband  once 
more;  but,  as  usual,  no  answer  came.  Of  course, 
you  understand  that  I  sent  the  message  "collect," 
and  some  one  must  have  received  them,  or  they 
would  have  been  returned,  as  one  was  afterwards. 
On  retiring  that  night,  Basil's  last  words  were : 

"Mamma,  do  you  reckon  Old  Santa  Claus  will 
come?" 


110  MY  OWN  LIFEj  OE 

I  said:  "Darling,  I  can  not  tell.  You  must  wait 
and  see." 

As  I  uttered  the  last  syllable,  tears  came  to  my 
eyes,  for  I  knew  that  when  morning  dawned  the 
little  stockings  would  be  as  they  then  were,  and  my 
boys'  hearts  filled  with  sadness  instead  of  mirth.  I 
could  not  sleep,  but  sat  thinking  of  John,  and  won- 
dering why  it  was  that  he  had  forgotten  his  two  babes 
and  I  at  this  happy  Christmas  tide.  As  the  old  town 
clock  pealed  out  the  hour  of  2,  I  blew  out  my  lights 
and  sat  down  to  think  again,  and  could  I  have  drawn 
aside  the  curtain  in  Bluefield,  W.  Va.,  at  this  mo- 
ment, I  would  have  known  why  we  were  treated  thus. 
My  husband's  own  aunt  afterwards  told  me  that  it 
was  at  this  hour  he  was  carried  to  his  room  in  an  in- 
toxicated condition,  and  remained  so  until  late  on  the 
following  day. 

Christmas  morning  dawned  clear  and  cold,  and  I 
had  but  little  fuel  and  nothing  for  breakfast.  So  I 
sat  wondering  what  to  do.  All  at  once  a  servant  girl 
entered  my  room,  bearing  in  her  hand  a  nice  cocoa- 
nut  cake,  sent  me  by  my  cousin,  Mrs.  H.  A.  Siddall. 
About  this  time  my  madstone  patient  entered  the 
room  also.  She  paid  me  f  5  and  gave  good  security 
for  the  safe  return  of  the  stones,  then  took  her  de- 
parture for  home. 

Well,  I  was  one  happy  mortal,  having  in  my  pos- 
session $5,  a  cocoanut  cake  and  two  hungry  children. 
I  had  not  thought  of  the  little  stockings  that  were 
hanging  limp  until  now,  so  I  wrote  a  short,  sweet 
letter  to  Basil,  leaving  the  impression  that  it  was 
from  Santa  Claus  himself.  The  contents  of  the  letter 
was :  That  as  there  were  so  many  more  children  in 
Winston  than  he  expected  to  find,  he  would  be  com- 
pelled to  pay  them  a  second  visit  on  the  following 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  Ill 

night,  and  would  bring  something  nice  to  those  who 
had  been  asked  to  wait. 

When  the  letter  was  finished,  I  enclosed  a  quarter, 
then  dropped  the  whole  into  niy  boy's  stocking. 

The  moment  he  awoke,  his  eves  wandered  toward s 
the  fireplace,  where  hu;:g  the  limp-looking  little  gar- 
ment which  had  beeu  placed  there  the  evening  before. 
His  lips  began  to  quiver,  and  I  knew  that  in  another 
minute  there  would  be  a  scream.     So  I  said: 

"Now,  don't  cry,  but  look  in  your  stocking;  some- 
times old  Santa  Claus  leaves  letters  for  children  in- 
stead of  toys." 

The  moment  Basil  placed  his  hand  into  the  stock- 
ing he  exclaimed : 

"You  were  right,  mamma !  Old  Santa  has  left  a 
letter  for  me,  and  now  I  am  going  to  see  what  he  has 
to  say." 

I  walked  across  the  room  to  the  window,  so  I 
might  watch  the  expression  upon  my  boy's  face  with- 
out his  being  aware  of  it.  I  noticed  the  color  com? 
and  go ;  then  he  said : 

"Well,  I  don't  care.  The  quarter  will  do  me  more 
good  than  all  the  toys  would  have  done." 

He  was  pleased,  and  so  was  I.  I  then  donned  my 
hat  and  went  out  upon  the  street  for  the  purpose  of 
purchasing  something  substantial  for  our  breakfast. 
On  my  return  home,  I  had  with  me  half  a  dozen  egg;\ 
a  pound  of  sugar,  one  loaf  of  bread  and  a  packag? 
of  tea — the  whole  amounting  to  twenty  cents.  After 
making  my  purchases  palatable,  I  placed  all  upo  i 
the  table,  and  afterwards  led  the  children,  both  blind- 
folded, to  their  seats.  On  opening  their  eyes,  they 
each  gave  a  loud  scream.  And  well  they  might,  for 
in  the  center  of  the  table  stood  the  cocoanut  cake, 
looking  as  imposing  as  the  grand  old  Pilot  itself  all 


112  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

covered  with  snow.  I  had  boiled  the  eggs  and  placed 
them  around  the  foot  of  the  mountain,  as  it  were, 
making  it  appear  all  the  more  as  though  some  one 
had  been  up  early  making  snowballs  on  this  beautiful 
Christmas  morn. 

Into  Robah's  plate  I  dropped  fifty  cents — his  pres- 
ent, I  told  him,  from  mamma. 

Breakfast  being  over,  I  cleared  away  the  dishes,  and 
immediately  set  about  making  others  happy.  First 
of  all,  I  cut  my  cake  in  two  and  then  placed  it  into  a 
tiny  box.  After  the  lid  had  been  securely  fastened, 
I  addressed  it  to  John,  notwithstanding  he  had  for- 
gotten me.  The  next  thing  I  did  was  to  purchase  a 
few  trinkets  for  my  niece  and  nephew,  Clifton  and 
Louise  Meroney.  I  had  also  remembered  a  little  boy 
by  the  name  of  John  P.  Isom,  whose  home  was  at 
the  Thomasville  Orphanage.  After  packing  the  boxes, 
I  addressed  each  one  separately  and  carried  them  to 
the  express  office  myself,  paid  the  charges  and  re- 
turned to  my  apartments,  feeling  that  I  had  spent  at 
least  part  of  the  day  in  the  right  way.  On  reaching 
home,  I  found  a  nice  dinner  placed  at  my  door.  In 
the  center  of  the  tray  was  a  note,  stating  that  the 
viands  had  been  sent  me  from  Hotel  Jones.  I  gave 
to  the  children  what  I  thought  sufficient  for  them, 
and  the  remaining  portion  I  carried  to  a  poor,  moth- 
erless girl,  who  was  ill.  After  spending  an  hour  or 
so  with  her,  trying  to  cheer  her  up  a  bit,  I  once  more 
returned  to  my  room,  but  only  to  think  of  John. 
Where  was  he,  and  what  was  he  doing?  I  could  not 
help  repeating  over  and  over.  Oh,  why  has  he  for- 
gotten me  to-day?  I  said  to  myself,  if  I  fail  to  hear 
from  him  by  to-morrow's  mail,  I  shall  think  him 
dead,  and  will  make  inquiry  as  to  the  cause  of  his 
death;  but  this  I  was  spared,  for  on  the  morrow 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  113 

while  the  children  and  I  were  at  breakfast,  we  heard 
the  ever-weleoine  footsteps  of  Mr.  Jones,  the  post- 
man. As  he  mounted  the  steps,  my  heart  seemed  to 
be  in  my  mouth,  and  my  hand  trembled  so  on  reach- 
ing for  the  letter  that  I  came  near  dropping  it,  for  I 
dreaded  to  break  the  seal  of  the  long-looked-for  mis- 
sive, lest  it  contained  news  I  didn't  care  to  hear.  As 
I  read  on  and  on,  I  learned  that  my  husband  had 
been  ill — oh,  so  very  ill,  so  he  said — and  that  was  the 
cause  of  his  not  sending  us  anything  for  Christmas. 
I  was  afterwards  informed  as  to  the  nature  of  his  dis- 
ease. 

After  this,  money  orders  and  letters  came  more  fre- 
quently, and  on  the  8th  of  January,  1896,  I  gave  up 
my  room  over  the  telegraph  office  and  moved  into 
what  was  known  as  the  Grubbs  Building,  on  Liberty 
street.  Here  I  had  two  rooms,  instead  of  one,  and, 
with  Mr.  Miller's  aid,  again  was  soon  comfortably 
located. 

On  the  6th  day  of  January,  1896,  just  a  few  days 
previous  to  moving  into  our  new  quarters,  I  paid  my 
first  visit  to  Forsyth  court  house,  for  the  purpose  of 
collecting  twenty  dollars  due  John  for  back  costs 
while  he  was  in  the  refining  magistrate  business. 

If  I  should  happen  to  live  a  hundred  years,  I  will 
never  forget  my  first  visit  to  the  temple  of  justice. 
On  entering  it,  I  felt  as  though  I  was  going  to  be  tried 
for  my  life,  and  it  was  some  time  before  I  found  the 
Clerk's  office.  On  reaching  the  door,  I  rapped  gently, 
and  some  one  said  "Come!"  I  entered,  trembling 
from  head  to  foot,  and  asked  for  Mr.  Wilson,  Clerk  of 
the  Court.  I  was  told  that  he  was  not  in  at  present, 
and  might  not  be  for  several  hours.  So  I  presented 
the  order  I  had  received  from  John  to  Mr.  S.  F. 
Vance,  Mr.  Wilson's  assistant,  and  after  signing  my 


114  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

name  in  the  ledger  several  times,  Mr.  Vance  paid  me 
$20.24.  Three  dollars  of  this  money  I  paid  to  H. 
Montague,  for  rent  due  him,  although  John  had  writ- 
ten me  not  to  do  so.  However,  I  disobeyed  him  for 
once,  in  order  to  pay  my  just  debt.  After  doing  this, 
I  paid  $4  to  James  S.  Dunn,  in  advance  for  the  rooms 
I  intended  taking  possession  of  in  a  few  days;  so, 
$13.24  was  the  amount  left  me  still,  and  I  felt  a  little 
more  independent.  John  had  written  me  that  he 
wasn't  sure  of  my  getting  the  money.  However,  I 
might  try.     I  did,  and  jou  know  the  result. 

Afterwards,  Mr.  Lehman  told  me  that  $10  of  the 
money  I  had  received  at  the  court  house  belonged  to 
him,  as  he  and  Mr.  Beard  were  partners.  I  then 
offered  to  pay  the  Justice  of  the  Peace  the  amount  due 
him,  but  he  refused  to  accept  it,  saying  that  as  long 
as  I  knew  nothing  in  regard  to  the  affair,  he  was 
willing  to  let  the  matter  drop,  and  once  more  I  learned 
of  my  husband's  rascality. 

Soon  after  this  I  received  a  letter  from  him  stating 
that  he  expected  to  get  a  permanent  job  in  Bluefield, 
and  if  so,  he  would  send  for  the  children  and  I  about 
the  1st  of  March.  Well,  I  heard  nothing  more  about 
the  matter  for  several  weeks;  during  this  time  I  be- 
came very  ill.  Robah  wrote  his  father  to  that  effect, 
but  on  receiving  no  reply  to  the  letter  he  had  writ- 
ten, he  wired  him.  Presently  an  answer  came,  ad- 
dressed to  me.     The  contents  were: 

"Can't  come;  haven't  the  money.  J   L   B." 

I  thought  very  strange  of  this,  especially  when  my 
husband  was  making  a  salary  of  $75  per  month.  A 
few  moments  after  he  had  received  the  message,  some 
one  rang  the  door  bell.     On  answering  it,  Robah  dis- 


A  DESERTED  WIPE.  115 

covered  his  grandfather,  W.  H.  Beard,  standing  be- 
fore him.  Mr.  Beard  wanted  to  know  of  Kobah 
whether  he  had  wired  his  father  to  return  home  on 
account  of  my  extreme  illness.  Before  giving  the 
matter  a  second  thought,  Robah  replied  in  the  affirm- 
ative. I  then  thought  to  myself,  now,  John's  father 
has  wired  him  not  to  come,  and  sure  enough,  my 
surmise  was  correct,  as  I  afterwards  had  proof  of  it 
placed  before  me. 


116  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

CHAPTER  VTI. 

MY  LIFE  IN  BLUEFIELD.  W.  VA. 

Not  long  after  this,  I  received  another  letter  from 
John,  saying  that  he  had  at  last  secured  a  permanent 
position,  and  would,  send  for  us  at  an  early  date,  as 
he  was  almost  crazy  to  see  me. 

I  wrote  my  husband  that  while  I  was  loth  to  leave 
Winston,  N.  C,  my  own,  my  native  State,  T  would 
do  so  if  he  thought  he  could  better  himself  elsewhere, 
and  would  promise  me  to  lead  a  different  life  in  the 
future  from  what  he  had  in  the  past.  After  finish- 
ing my  letter,  I  went  out  for  the  purpose  of  mailing 
it,  then  back  to  my  room  to  await  a  reply.  I  hadn't 
long  to  wait,  for  in  a  day  or  two  afterwards  T.  J. 
Pratt,  the  postman,  handed  me  a  letter  from  my  hus- 
band, which  ran  as  follows : 

Bluefield,  W.  Va.,  Feb.  10,  1896. 
My  Own  Little  Darling  Wife : 

Your  precious  letter  received,  and  it  filled  my  heart  with  gladness 
to  know  that  you  were  willing  toleave  Winston  in  order  to  be  with 
your  old  John  once  more. 

Yes,  pet,  I  will  make  the  promise  you  have  asked,  and  by  the  help 
of  God  will  lead  a  different  life  from  this  time  forth,  living  for  my 
little  Ida,  and  her  only.  Now  trust  your  husband  once  again  and 
make  arrangements  to  come  to  him  as  early  as  possible. 

( He  then  added  that  I  would  never  know  how  dearly 
he  loved  me,  and  that  he  fairly  worshipped  the  ground 
I  walked  upon,  and  would  also  die  for  me  if  need  be. 
Finally,  he  said  that  he  guessed  I  was  beginning  to 
tire  of  all  this  love  making,  so  he  would  cease,  and 
write  something  in  regard  to  my  leaving  Winston. 
He  began  by  telling  me,  whatever  I  did,  not  to  let  any- 
one— not  even  my  father — know  of  my  intentions;  if 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  117 

I  did,  his  creditors  would  seize  our  furniture  for  his 
debts. )     John  said — 

I  am  sure  that  skunk  Frank  Martin  would  if  he  knew  you  were 
going  to  leave ;  so  be  very  careful  as  to  what  you  say  and  do.  See 
old  man  Savery  and  find  out  what  he  will  allow  you  for  your  furni- 
ture. Do  not  make  too  much  of  a  sacrifice  of  it,  but  do  the  best  you 
can,  and  spend  just  as  little  as  possible  in  getting  ready  to  come,  as 
we  shall  need  all  the  money  we  can  scrape  in  order  to  begin  house- 
keeping here.  I  hope  my  little  girl  will  like  Bluefield  ;  at  any  rate, 
she  will  be  with  her  old  John.  And  now,  goodnight !  Kiss  the  boys 
for  me — I  mean  our  boys. 

I  retire  to  dream  of  you. 

As  ever,  your  loving  husband, 

John  Lewis  Beard. 

P.  S. — On  starting  do  not  attempt  to  wire  me  from  Winston,  but 
wait  until  you  reach  Roanoke.  Should  you  wire  me  before  leaving 
home  those  d — s  there  might  hold  your  trunks ;  but  once  your  feet 
are  upon  the  soil  of  another  State,  what  can  they  do?  Why,  noth- 
ing. So  take  old  John's  advice — do  just  as  he  says,  and  you  will 
come  out  O.  K.  J.  L.  B 

After  I  had  finished  reading  my  letter,  I  said : 

"Oh,  how  can  I  dispose  of  the  furniture  father  gave 
me?  But,  I  suppose,  if  I  am  going  to  leave  the  State, 
John's  creditors  would  hold  everything  for  his  debts, 
so  I  might  as  well  try  to  get  something  out  of  what  I 
have  as  to  lose  it  all." 

Immediately  after  making  up  my  mind  to  dispose 
of  the  furniture,  I  walked  around  to  A.  Savery's  pawn 
shop,  in  order  to  ascertain  what  he  would  be  willing 
to  allow  me  for  it. 

He  said:  "Oh,  I  hardly  know;  I  never  like  to  buy 

a  cat  in  a  sack,  so  Mrs.  S and  I  will  call  at  your 

rooms  this  evening  and  take  a  look  at  the  furniture, 
then  I  can  tell  more  about  the  amount  I  would  be 
willing  to  give  for  it.  I  then  told  him  all  right,  and 
he  invited  me  to  walk  back  and  see  his  wife,  who 
was  in  the  rear  part  of  the  building  preparing  their 
noonday  meal.     To  Mrs.  Savery  I  read  a  portion  of 


118  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

the  letter  I  had  received  from  my  husband — the  part 
where  he  requested  me  to  see  them  in  regard  to  the 
furniture,  and  to  say  nothing  to  anyone  except  she 
and  her  husband  about  my  getting  ready  to  leave  the 

city.     I  remained  with  Mrs.  S for  an  hour  or  two, 

then  returned  home  to  ponder  whether  or  not  I  should 
sacrifice  the  things  father  had  given  me  and  go  to  my 
husband,  or  whether  to  remain  in  Winston.  I  finally 
decided  as  I  thought  a  true  wife  should,  and  the  fol- 
lowing Thursday,  February  16,  1896,  I  took  my  de- 
parture from  Winston,  N.  0.,  to  Bluefield,  W.  Va. 
Oh,  that  never-to-be-forgotten  trip  to  Bluefield ! 

On  the  morning  I  was  to  leave  Winston,  I  arose  at 
half  past  5,  and  after  getting  the  children  and  myself 
ready,  ate  a  few  mouthfuls  of  breakfast,  then  called 
at  my  father's  residence  in  order  to  say  goodbye  to 
Sister  Nell,  and  also  to  bid  a  last  adieu  to  the  home 
of  my  girlhood,  thinking  I  would  never  return. 

I  paid  no  attention  whatever  to  my  trunks,  as  Mr. 
Savery  had  kindly  offered  to  have  them  checked  for 
me.  So  I  remained  with  sister  until  within  twenty 
minutes  of  train  time.  Then,  in  company  with  the 
children  and  an  old  colored  woman  by  the  name  of 
Miranda  Ratcliffe,  who  had  nursed  me  from  infancy, 
I  left  home  for  the  station. 

Upon  reaching  the  depot,  I  beheld  Mr.  Savery  com- 
ing down  the  track,  bearing  a  neat  looking  package 
in  his  hand.  I  afterwards  discovered  it  to  be  a  nice 
lunch,  prepared  by  Mrs.  Savery  for  the  children  and 
I.  On  taking  the  package,  I  handed  Mr.  Savery  the 
key  to  my  apartments  and  told  him  the  furniture, 
for  which  he  had  paid  me  f  100,  was  within,  and  that 
he  could  take  possession  of  it  as  soon  as  I  was  gone. 

I  then  entered  the  car,  and  was  getting  comfortably 
seated,  when  Mr.  S.  handed  me  my  tickets  and  checks, 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  119 

and  after  wishing  me  well,  he  left  the  train.  And  in 
a  few  minutes  I  heard  the  familiar  sounding  ding- 
dong,  ding-dong  of  the  bell  on  the  engine,  and  knew 
that  very  soon  Winston,  my  old  home,  would  be  left 
behind. 

My  brain  was  filled  with  thoughts  of  oh !  where 
was  I  going,  and  how  would  I  find  John;  would  he 
be  a  kind  and  loving  husband,  or  the  same  cruel 
wretch  he  was  on  leaving  home? 

Soon  after  leaving  Winston,  it  began  raining; 
splash,  splash,  came  the  large  drops  against  the  win- 
dows of  the  car,  causing  nought  but  gloom  within.  So 
I  began  to  while  away  the  time  by  recalling  to  mind  a 
dream  I  had  just  a  day  or  two  previous  to  my  depart- 
ure. 

I  dreamed  that  I  was  in  Bluefield,  and  while  there 
died,  and  with  the  case  in  which  the  casket  was  to  be 
placed  returned  to  Winston,  my  old  home,  for  burial, 
and  had  reached  my  father's  residence,  and  was  stand- 
ing by  the  rose  bush  in  the  yard  superintending  the 
digging  of  my  grave.  When  presently  I  beheld  Mr. 
F.  H.  Vogler  coming  up  the  walk.  I  handed  him  the 
case  and  said :  "Well,  I  suppose  you  heard  of  my 
death  while  in  that  miserable  hole;  I  could  not  bear 
the  idea  of  being  buried  there,  so  have  returned  home 
for  the  purpose,  and  intend  purchasing  the  casket  of 
you.     Why  I  brought  the  case,  I  do  not  know.'' 

Mr.  Vogler  said,  "Yes,  we  heard  of  your  death,  and 
wondered,  whether  John  would  bring  your  remains 
back  for  interment. 

I  said,  "Hush,  speak  not  of  John;  he,  too,  is  dead."' 

The  undertaker  also  told  me  that  my  grave  was  in 
readiness,  and  a  beautiful  one  it  was,  smooth  and  all 
lined  with  white  chrysanthemums.  After  this  he 
vanished,  leaving  me  standing  by  the  aperture,  into 
which  I  dropped  a  bundle  of  letters,  the  missives  writ- 
ten me  by  John  in  the  long,  long  ago. 


120  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

I  was  very  much  impressed  with  my  dream,  and 
paid  no  attention  to  anything  else,  until  I  at  last 
realized  that  we  had  reached  Roanoke,  and  heard  Cap- 
tain Stanfield  say: 

"Mrs.  Beard,  your  train  for  Bluefield  is  on  time, 
and  if  you  will  allow  me,  I  will  assist  you  across." 

I  thanked  him,  then  picked  up  my  belongings  and 
was  soon  seated  in  the  other  car.  The  conductor 
raised  his  hat  and  passed  out. 

Then  it  was  I  thought  of  the  message  I  was  to  have 
sent  John,  informing  him  that  the  children  and  I 
were  on  our  way,  but  the  train  for  Bluefield  was  now 
moving  off  at  a  rapid  rate,  giving  me  no  time  for 
anything.  So  I  made  up  my  mind  that  on  reaching 
our  destination,  I  would  ask  an  officer  to  direct  me  to 
my  husband,  or  at  least  to  his  boarding  house,  having 
in  my  possession  the  name  and  number  of  the  place. 

The  scenery  along  the  road  from  Roanoke  to  Blue- 
field  was  perfectly  grand.  At  the  different  stations 
the  queerest  kind  of  human  beings  boarded  the  train. 
From  their  gestures  and  mode  of  articulating,  I 
learned  that  they  were  Hungarians,  on  their  way  to 
Bluefield,  Pocahontas  and  Keystone,  for  the  purpose 
of  working  in  the  coal  mines. 

The  females  were  dark  complexioned  little  creat- 
ures, who  were  attired  in  short  skirts  made  of  some 
coarse  material,  low-quartered  shoes  and  red  bandana 
handkerchiefs  fastened  tightly  around  their  heads. 

The  males  were  rough  looking  people,  and  came 
near  frightening  me  out  of  my  senses  every  time  they 
spoke. 

I  did  not  take  to  my  companions  very  readily,  but 
with  the  children  remained  in  the  rear  part  of  the 
car. 

On  arriving  at  East  Radford,  a  lady  and  her  son 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  121 

came  on  the  train.  They  were  of  my  own  nationality, 
therefore  making  me  feel  a  little  more  comfortable. 
I  afterwards  learned  that  the  lady  was  from  Lynch- 
burg, Va.,  and  was  then  on  her  way  to  visit  her  hus- 
band, who  was  employed  as  a  machinist  in  the  city  to 
which  I  was  going. 

My  friend  and  I  conversed  with  each  other  until 
within  about  five  miles  of  Bluefield,  then  I  called  the 
conductor  to  me  and  told  him  who  I  Avas,  and  also 
asked  him  whether  he  would  aid  me  in  finding  an 
officer  on  reaching  our  destination.  This  he  promised 
to  do,  and  by  the  time  the  train  had  stopped,  I  noticed 
a  bine  coat  standing  on  the  platform.  Presently  he 
stepped  up  to  me,  raised  his  cap,  and  said  that  he  had 
been  asked  to  see  me  safely  to  my  husband,  but  would 
not  be  able  to  do  so  just  at  that  moment,  as  he  would 
be  compelled  to  take  charge  of  a  prisoner  who  was 
on  the  train.  The  officer  then  told  me  to  wait  for  him 
in  the  reception  room,  and  he  would  call  by  for  me  in 
fifteen  or  twenty  minutes. 

Well,  I  didn't  know  whether  he  would  or  not,  as  I 
bad  about  lost  confidence  in  all  mankind.  So  I  stepped 
up  to  the  ticket  agent,  introduced  myself,  and  told 
him  that  I  was  alone  with  the  exception  of  the  chil- 
dren, and  must  find  my  husband  before  morning,  if 
possible. 

The  agent  didn't  seem  to  know  of  anyone  by  the 
name  of  Beard,  and  as  it  was  raining  very  hard,  and 
my  train  being  the  last  one  through  for  the  night, 
there  were  no  conveyances  at  the  depot,  and  he  sup- 
posed I  would  be  compelled  to  remain  where  I  was 
until  morning. 

The  children  began  to  cry,  and  I  am  not  ashamed 
to  say  that  for  the  moment  I  did,  too,  but  soon  checked 
myself,  and  told  the  children  to  keep  quiet,  as  we 


122  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

would  be  cared  for  by  the  depot  agent,  and  that  on 
the  morrow  we  would  find  papa. 

I  was  beginning  to  make  things  comfortable,  when 
I  heard  some  one  addressing  the  agent.  On  looking 
around,  I  beheld  a  smooth-faced  young  man  standing 
before  me.  He  asked  me  whether  I  was  the  lady  from 
Winston,  N.  C,  who  was  in  search  of  her  husband. 
I  told  him  I  was.  He  then  introduced  himself,  and 
said  he  hoped  I  would  pardon  his  seeming  boldness, 
as  he  was  almost  certain  he  knew  John  from  the  de- 
scription I  had  given  of  him,  and  if  I  did  not  mind 
venturing  out  into  the  storm,  he  would  take  me  to 
him.  I  told  him  that  I  was  only  too  glad  to  accept 
of  his  offer,  and  would  be  ready  to  accompany  him 
in  a  minute.  And  such  a  gathering  of  satchels  you 
never  saw. 

Just  before  leaving  the  station,  the  young  man  said : 

"I  am  sure  that  I  am  acquainted  with  your  hus- 
band, if  he  is  that  bald-headed  fellow  who  clerks  for 
J.  D.  Dickens,  but  he  doesn't  go  by  the  name  of  Beard, 
neither  has  he  represented  himself  as  being  a  married 
man  since  landing  in  the  city." 

For  the  moment  I  hardly  knew  what  to  do,  whether 
to  leave  the  depot  or  not,  as  I  didn't  care  to  be  wad- 
ing around  in  rain  and  mud  shoe-top  deep  in  order  to 
meet  some  other  woman's  husband.  The  young  man 
noticed  that  I  was  hesitating  about  something,  so 
said: 

"Madam,  perhaps  you  would  prefer  walking  up  to 
the  Bluefield  Inn,  and  wait  there  until  morning  to  find 
Mr.  Beard." 

I  said,  "No,  I  had  rather  not.  Then  told  him  if  he 
would  accompany  me  to  L.  D.  Kingsbury's  boarding 
house  I  would  pay  him  one  dollar  for  doing  so." 

He  said,  "Well,  I  know  where  the  Kingsbury  House 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  123 

is,  but  it's  over  at  the  pool,  and  I  don't  think  you 
want  to  go  there." 

I,  not  thinking  what  he  had  reference  to,  said : 

"Yes,  that's  the  place  where  my  husband  boards, 
and  I  must  find  it  to-night." 

On  seeing  that  I  was  bent  on  going,  the  young 
man  started  on  ahead  of  the  children  and  I.  We 
walked  on  for  about  three  squares,  then  he  stopped 
in  front  of  a  miserable  looking  place,  saying  as  he 
did  so: 

"Well,  here  we  are;  this  is  the  Kingsbury  House, 
but  I  hardly  think  you  will  care  to  enter." 

The  moment  he  ceased  speaking,  I  clasped  both  the 
children  by  the  hand  and  exclaimed,  "Oh,  Heavens, 
where  are  we  and  what  shall  we  do?  for  I  had  caught 
a  glimpse  of  about  seventy-five  men  and  women  who 
were  playing  pool  in  the  lower  part  of  the  building. 

I  had  never  been  an  eye  witness  to  a  scene  like  this 
before,  and  I  hope  I  may  never  be  again.  I  compared 
the  picture  to  that  of  purgatory  more  than  anything 
else.  And  to  think  that  there  I  was  standing  in  the 
mud  and  water  up  to  my  shoe  tops  in  front  of  a  gam- 
bling den  at  11  o'clock  in  the  night  almost  turned  my 
hair  gray. 

It  took  me  but  a  moment  to  decide  what  to  do,  so 
I  mounted  the  rickety  old  steps  and  rapped  upon  the 
door.  While  waiting  to  be  admitted,  I  drew  forth  my 
purse  and  handed  the  young  man  the  dollar  I  had 
promised  him  for  his  trouble.  He  refused  to  accept 
the  money,  and  said  he  was  only  too  glad  to  have 
been  of  service  to  me,  especially  on  a  night  like  this. 
He  then  wanted  to  know  whether  I  wanted  him  to 
wait  until  the  door  was  opened. 

I  said,  "If  you  please,  as  I  am  not  sure  of  remain- 
ing here  for  the  night;  am  only  anxious  to  ascertain 


124  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

something  of  my  husband's  whereabouts  before  leav- 
ing." 

I  failed  to  catch  the  name  of  my  protector,  when 
receiving  an  introduction  to  him  at  the  station,  there- 
fore will  not  be  able  to  refer  to  him  in  any  way,  ex- 
cept as  a  friend,  but  such  he  was,  or  he  would  not 
have  shown  me  the  kindness  he  did  on  that  stormy 
night  in  Bluefield,  W.  Va.  I  know  his  mother  was  a 
lady  and  had  raised  her  son  to  be  a  gentleman. 

I  was  compelled  to  rap  twice  upon  the  door  of  the 
den,  as  I  termed  it,  before  getting  admittance.  Then, 
all  at  once,  the  door  flew  open,  and  before  me  stood  a 
dark  haired  girl;  in  her  hand  she  held  a  lamp,  and 
reminded  me  of  Madge,  in  "Royce,  the  Gypsy."  For 
the  moment  I  imagined  that  I  was  addressing  the 
Gypsy  Queen  herself,  but  soon  returned  to  the  reality, 
and  said: 

"This  is  Miss  Kingsbury,  I  suppose,  and  I  am  your 
cousin,  Mrs.  John  Beard,  from  Winston,  N.  0.  Is 
my  husband  in?" 

The  girl  remained  standing  in  the  doorway,  look- 
ing at  me  in  a  bewildered  way,  neither  inviting  me 
in  nor  out.  I  didn't  know  what  to  do,  and  was  in 
the  act  of  turning  around  for  the  purpose  of  going 
back  to  the  Bluefield  Inn,  when  an  older  lady  ap- 
peared upon  the  scene,  and  asked  who  it  was  that 
sought  shelter  for  the  night.  Then  it  was  that  the 
Gypsy  Queen  spoke  for  the  first  time,  saying : 

"Why,  mother,  John's  wife  and  children  have 
come !" 

At  the  word  "wife"  about  fifty  different  heads  ap- 
peared at  the  windows,  and  I  made  sure  that  I  would 
be  murdered  on  the  spot.  I  was  sufficiently  amused 
with  my  trip  already,  and  would  much  rather  have 
been  at  home  than  where  I  was. 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  125 

Mrs.  Kingsbury,  in  her  strange  way,  invited  me  to 
enter.  Before  doing  so,  I  turned  to  my  protector  and 
once  more  thanked  him  for  his  kindness.  He  bade 
me  goodnight,  and  I  never  beheld  his  face  again. 


126  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 


CHAPTER  VIII. 

IN  WHICH  MY  EYES  ARE  OPENED. 

On  entering  the  Kingsbury  House,  my  aunt,  by 
marriage,  said : 

"Well,  Ida,  we  were  expecting  you  this  week,  but 
not  to-night.  However,  we  will  do  the  best  we  can 
for  you." 

I  thanked  her,  then  asked  to  be  shown  to  my  hus- 
band. I  was  told  that  he  did  not  room  there,  but  at 
the  store,  and  that  he  only  boarded  with  his  aunt.  So 
I  had  caught  John  in  a  falsehood  immediately  upon 
my  arrival.  He  had  written  me  not  to  be  uneasy 
about  him,  as  he  roomed  and  boarded  with  his  uncle's 
family,  and  that  they  would  take  good  care  of  him 
in  case  of  sickness. 

On  seeing  that  I  was  very  anxious  to  meet  my 
husband,  his  aunt  sent  to  the  store  for  him,  and  could 
I  have  known  at  that  moment  where  he  was  prepar- 
ing to  go,  I  would  never  have  looked  upon  his  face 
again. 

On  entering  the  room  at  his  uncle's  residence  he 
said: 

"Well,  Ida,  I  see  you  have  arrived  O.  K.,  and  did 
you  bring  with  you  the  money  you  received  for  the 
furniture?" 

The  moment  I  saw  my  husband,  I  noticed  that 
there  was  something  wrong,  so  I  said : 

"No.  I  left  it  all  at  home  in  the  bank.  I  knew  I 
could  send  for  it  when  needed." 

Instead  of  clasping  me  in  his  arms,  he  began  curs- 
ing, and  said : 

"Well,  it's  needed  now,  and  you  must  return  to 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  127 

Winston  in  the  morning  in  order  to  get  the  money,  or 
I  will  break  your  d — ■  neck." 

I  looked  at  John  and  thought:  such  a  reception, 
after  being  separated  for  fourteen  long  weeks — or  at 
least  they  seemed  long  to  me.  John  continued  to 
abuse  me  after  we  had  repaired  to  our  apartment  for 
the  night,  and  one  of  the  boarders  in  an  adjoining 
room  told  him  that  if  he  didn't  stop  cursing  me,  he 
would  be  compelled  to  appear  before  the  Mayor  on  the 
following  day.  During  all  this  time  I  had  never  re- 
moved my  hat,  but  sat  with  it  on — merely  pushing 
back  the  veil  I  had  worn,  and  never  once  thought  of 
retiring.  John  finally  cursed  himself  to  sleep,  and 
by  the  time  he  did  so  it  was  growing  very  cold  in  the 
room,  as  the  fire  in  the  stove  had  died  out,  and  there 
was  nothing  with  which  to  replenish  it;  so  I  drew 
my  wraps  closely  about  me,  and  by  the  dim  light  of 
the  lamp  sat  watching  my  husband's  distorted  face. 
I  thought :  Poor  fellow,  he  is  now  past  redemption, 
and  what  will  my  life  be  here  in  Bluefield,  my  future 
home?  While  thinking  thus,  I  knelt  at  John's  bed- 
side, and  once  more  asked  God  to  turn  his  footsteps 
into  the  right  path  ere  it  was  too  late.  When  I  arose 
from  my  knees,  I  imprinted  a  kiss  upon  John's  fore- 
head, saying  to  myself,  I  guess  this  will  be  the  last. 
About  4  a.  m.  my  husband  awoke  with  an  oath,  and 
exclaimed : 

"I  can't  sleep  for  thinking  about  an  engagement  I 
had  last  night,  and  your  coming  without  writing  me 
interfered  with  my  arrangements,  and  now  I  will 
catch  the  very  d —  this  morning,  and  I  know  it,  on 
account  of  failing  to  keep  my  appointment," 

I  said,  "Well,  John,  it  must  have  been  a  very  im- 
portant one." 

He  told  me  that  it  was,  as  he  had  promised  to  call 
upon  a  lady  friend  of  his. 


128  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

He  said,  "She  isn't  much,  but  I  love  her  just  the 
same.  And  now  that  you  know  the  secret,  how  do 
you  like  it?" 

I  said,  "Oh,  well,  I  am  not  at  all  surprised,"  and 
at  the  same  time  began  to  cry.  Then  John  pointed 
at  a  basin  of  water,  and  said : 

"Go  bathe  your  face  immediately,  and  stop  that 
foolishness.  I  don't  care  to  take  you  down  to  break- 
fast with  your  eyes  looking  as  red  as  an  old  fox." 

I  almost  dreaded  for  the  breakfast  hour  to  arrive, 
not  knowing  where  John  would  take  me.  Into  the 
pool  room,  I  was  afraid.  So  I  pretended  not  to  hear 
him  when  he  authorized  me  to  bathe  my  face.  This 
caused  him  to  send  forth  another  volley  of  oaths,  and 
our  lodger  in  the  adjoining  room  exclaimed : 

"Well,  Bird,  I  hear  you  cursing  that  poor  woman 
again.  I  am  anxious  to  see  her.  They  say  that  she 
is  your  legal  wife,  notwithstanding  you  have  been 
telling  everyone  that  it  was  your  sister  who  was  com- 
ing to  visit  you." 

On  going  down  to  the  dining  room  that  morning,  I 
beheld  about  thirty-five  miners  and  machinists  seated 
at  the  table,  and  had  it  not  been  for  the  viands  placed 
before  them,  I  would  have  made  sure  that  I  was  in  the 
pool  room.  Before  taking  our  seats,  my  husband 
said: 

"Gentlemen,  allow  me  to  introduce  you,  one  and 
all,  to  my  sister,  or  Miss  Bird,  I  should  have  said !" 

I  looked  at  John,  then  bowed  to  the  dark  complex- 
ioned  people  around  me. 

Well,  I  was  Miss  Bird  to  the  strangers,  and  they 
gazed  upon  me  as  though  I  had  been  a  being  who  had 
just  landed  from  another  world. 

Breakfast  being  over,  I  repaired  to  the  family  sit- 
ting room  and  saw  nothing  more  of  John  until  about  an 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  129 

hour  afterwards.  Then  he  returned,  placed  his  arm 
around  my  waist,  and  said: 

"Old  John's  more  than  sorry  he  treated  his  little 
girl  as  he  did  last  night,  and  will  never  be  guilty  of 
doing  so  again.  And  now,  if  you  will  give  me  your 
checks,  I  will  have  the  trunks  sent  up  immediately, 
and  we  will  remain  here  with  Uncle  Lawrence  until 
ready  for  housekeeping." 

While  awaiting  the  arrival  of  my  trunks,  I  received 
a  note  from  Doctor  and  Mrs.  H.  C.  Jones,  residents 
of  the  city.  They  informed  me  that  they  had  two 
rooms  to  let,  and  as  we  were  from  North  Carolina, 
their  former  home,  would  be  glad  to  have  us  take  up 
our  abode  with  them  at  once.  I  was  very  alad  of  the 
prospect  of  making  a  change;  so  called  to  see  Mrs. 
Jones  in  regard  to  the  matter.  The  moment  I  beheld 
the  rooms,  I  was  delighted  with  them,  and  told  my 
friend  that  we  would  take  possession  of  them  in  a  few 
days. 

Mrs.  Jones  said :  "Well,  Mrs.  Bird,  it  wasn't  that 
I  was  anxious  to  rent  my  rooms,  but  hated  to  see  you 
living  over  there  in  that  miserable  place.  You  remind 
me  of  a  beautiful  flower  blown  from  someone's  gar- 
den in  the  wilderness.  And  the  moment  I  heard  you 
were  a  Baptist,  I  told  the  doctor  I  must  have  you 
with  me,  and  I  hoped  you  would  like  Bluefield,  and 
remain  some  time,  although  I  haven't  the  least  doubt 
but  what  you  are  sufficiently  amused  with  the  filthy 
little  city  already."  I  told  her  I  was,  and  would  be 
willing  to  return  to  Winston  at  any  minute. 

She  then  said :  "Well,  I  hope  that  your  coming  will 
be  of  great  benefit  to  your  husband,  and  if  you  can 
prevail  on  him  leaving  his  present  boarding  house,  I 
think  it  will." 

One  word  brought  on  another,  and,  finally,  Mrs. 
5 


130  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

Jones  told  me  something  of  John's  mode  of  living  since 
landing  in  their  midst.  She  said  for  about  two  weeks 
after  his  arrival  in  the  city  he  seemed  to  be  a  perfect 
gentleman,  and  she  looked  upon  him  as  such.  He 
represented  himself  as  being  an  unmarried  man,  and 
a  strict  member  of  the  Baptist  church,  although  he 
felt  at  times  as  though  he  had  grown  cold  or  was  a 
backslider,  and  while  a  revival  was  in  progress  there, 
he  had  asked  the  prayers  of  the  Christian  people,  and 
also  declared  that  he  would  like  to  be  reconsecrated 
for  the  purpose  of  leading  a  better  life. 

Once  more  I  declare  him  the  darkest  villain  upon 
earth. 

He  did  this  in  order  to  gain  the  confidence  of  the 
people,  and  afterwards  began  his  treacherous  work. 

Mrs.  Jones  attributed  John's  downfall  to  his  asso- 
ciations over  at  the  pool  rooms. 

I  said :  "No,  I  guess  not  altogether,  as  he  was  quite 
a  wild  bird  before  leaving  home,  therefore  was  easily 
led  astray.  And  I  had  hoped  that  on  coming  here  he 
would  reform,  and  that  I  would  find  a  different  man 
from  what  I  did." 

After  leaving  my  friend,  I  returned  to  the  Kings- 
bury House,  where  I  found  John  waiting  for  me.  He 
seemed  very  anxious  to  have  me  accompany  him  down 
street.  We  entered  the  postoffice,  and  there  I  was 
again  introduced  as  Miss  Bird,  his  sister.  I  bowed 
as  I  had  done  that  morning  at  the  breakfast  table, 
but  afterwards  asked  my  husband  why  he  did  not  in- 
troduce me  as  his  wife,  and  why  he  had  assumed  the 
name  of  Bird,  instead  of  Beard. 

He  said,  "Oh !  the  boys  here  just  call  me  Bird  for 
mischief,  and  to  be  even  with  them  I  am  going  to  let 
them  think  that  you  are  my  sister  at  first." 

I  looked  upon  the  affair  as  a  joke,  but  soon  learned 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  131 

that  others  looked  upon  it  in  a  different  light,  and 
really  thought  me  John's  sister.  And  on  the  evening 
following  my  arrival  in  Bluefield,  I  received  a  note 
from  one  of  the  young  gentlemen  whom  I  had  met 
in  the  postoffice.  He  requested  that  I  accompany 
him  to  a  masquerade  ball  given  in  honor  of  the  visit- 
ing young  ladies  in  the  city. 

I  was  perfectly  shocked  at  the  thought  of  such  a 
thing,  and  treated  the  young  gentleman's  note  with 
silent  contempt.  You  can  imagine  my  surprise  when, 
on  going  down  to  supper,  I  beheld,  sitting  opposite  my 
place  at  the  table  the  author  of  the  note  I  had  received 
a  few  hours  previous. 

He  bowed  politely,  and  asked  whether  I  had  re- 
ceived the  note  he  had  written  me,  and  if  so,  why  I 
failed  to  answer  it.     I  looked  at  him  and  said : 

"Sir,  excuse  me;  did  you  address  me  as  Miss  or 
Mrs.  Bird?" 

He  said,  "Why,  Miss  Bird,  of  course.  Are  you  not 
Mr.  Bird's  sister?" 

Again  I  looked  at  the  stranger  before  me,  and  with 
a  trembling  voice  exclaimed  : 

"No,  not  his  sister,  but  his  legal  wife,  and  the 
babes  at  my  side  are  his  legitimate  children !  If  you 
doubt  my  veracity  in  regard  to  the  matter,  I  refer 
you  to  Bev.  H.  A.  Brown,  A.  H.  Eller,  and  Messrs. 
Buxton  &  Watson,  of  Winston,  N.  C.  I  am  a  mem- 
ber of  the  Baptist  church,  and  much  rather  you  had 
asked  me  to  sever  an  artery  in  my  throat  than  to 
have  requested  me  to  attend  a  dance.  I  never  was  in 
a  ball  room  in  my  life." 

The  young  man  arose  from  the  table  without  eat- 
ing a  mouthful,  and  offered  me  his  hand,  saying : 

"Madam,  I  beg  your  pardon  a  thousand  times.  You 
are  a  lady,  and  I  appreciate  your  sentiments  in  regard 


132  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

to  the  ball  room ;  once  more  I  ask  your  pardon  for  the 
mistake  I  have  made." 

On  leaving  the  dining  room,  the  young  man  mo- 
tioned to  my  husband  to  follow  him,  and  upon  reach- 
ing the  hallway  I  heard  them  conversing  in  tones  not 
pleasing  to  the  ear.  And  when  John  returned  once 
more  to  the  table  he  wore  an  expression  on  his  face 
that  no  one  cared  to  see. 

Well  he  might,  for  had  he  not  been  foiled  in  his 
villainous  scheme? 

He  supposed  that  I,  in  order  to  avenge  my  wrong, 
would  accompany  his  friend  to  the  dance.  Then  he 
would  proclaim  to  the  world  that  I  had  proven  myself 
untrue  to  him,  and  upon  these  grounds  obtain  a 
divorce. 

And  now  that  he  had  been  foiled,  knew  not  what 
to  do. 

I  do  not  bear  the  least  particle  of  malice  toward  the 
young  gentleman  who  asked  me  to  be  his  companion 
for  the  evening,  for  I  really  think  his  intentions  were 
good,  and  thinking  me  the  sister  of  his  friend,  intend- 
ed giving  me  a  pleasant  time  during  my  stay  in  the 
city. 

That  same  evening,  before  retiring,  two  little  girls 
called  at  the  Kingsbury  House  and  asked  for  Mr. 
Bird's  brothers. 

I  said,  "You  are  mistaken,  he  hasn't  a  brother  in 
the  place." 

And  before  I  could  say  more,  the  girls  both 
screamed  out: 

"Yes,  ma'am,  he  has;  we  mean  those  little  boys 
who  came  here  with  their  sister  last  night  from  Win- 
ston, N.  C." 

I  had  not  fully  realized  until  then  that  John  had 
represented  the  whole  family  as  being  brothers  and 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  133 

sisters.  So  I  at  once  told  the  children  that  I  was  Mr. 
Bird's  wife,  and  the  little  boys  whom  they  had  called 
to  see  were  his  sons. 

The  children  did  not  tarry  a  moment,  but  down  the 
street  they  flew,  and  on  to  the  store.  Basil  happened 
to  be  with  his  father  when  the  girls  entered,  and  heard 
one  of  them  say : 

"Oh,  Mr.  Bird!  that  lady  over  at  the  Kingsbury 
House  says  that  she  is  your  wife,  and  the  little  boys 
your  sons.     Is  it  so?" 

John  then  told  them  that  I  was  trying  to  fool  them, 
and  that  the  story  they  had  heard  at  first  was  true. 

I  afterwards  learned  that  my  husband  had  engaged 
himself  to  three  different  young  ladies  of  the  place, 
who  were  perfectly  shocked  on  hearing  that  he  was 
already  a  married  man. 

After  moving  to  Dr.  Jones's  residence,  John  began 
his  cruel  treatment  in  full.  It  was  seldom  he  spent 
his  nights  at  home  with  his  family,  but  was  seen  fre- 
quenting the  pool  rooms  and  other  places  too  vile  to 
mention. 

One  morning  about  3  o'clock  he  entered  my  room 
and  began  cursing  me  at  such  a  rate  that  the  Doctor 
said  he  was  really  afraid  the  plastering  would  fall 
from  his  walls. 

I  mentioned  this  to  John,  but  it  only  made  matters 
worse.  He  then  began  using  his  boot  heel  upon  my 
body,  and  several  scars  I  brought  with  me  on  my  re- 
turn to  Winston. 

On  Tuesday  following  my  arrival  in  Bluefield,  there 
Mas  a  reception  given  for  the  benefit  of  the  Y.  M.  C. 
A.,  and  my  husband  insisted  that  I  accompany  him. 
At  first  I  said  I  did  not  care  to  do  so,  but  finally  de- 
cided to  go  rather  than  be  contrary. 

Upon   reaching  the  door  of  the  reception   room, 


134  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

John  told  the  children  and  I  to  wait  a  few  minutes 
on  the  outside.  He  entered  and  closed  the  door  after 
him. 

I  waited  a  reasonable  length  of  time  for  my  hus- 
band to  make  his  appearance,  but  on  account  of  his 
failing  to  do  so,  I,  too,  asked  to  be  admitted  to  the 
rooms. 

The  young  gentleman  at  the  door,  who  was  acting 
as  usher,  told  me  I  could  pass  by  paying  fifty  cents 
admission  fee. 

I  then  said,  "Well,  my  husband  will  pay  the  amount 
required." 

In  the  meantime  I  was  looking  over  the  crowd  in 
order  to  ascertain  whether  he  was  within,  as  I  didn't 
quite  understand  his  way  of  doing.  I  could  not  im- 
agine why  he  had  left  me  standing  on  the  outside, 
after  being  so  anxious  to  have  me  accompany  him. 

Presently  I  noticed  John  sitting  up  near  the  front ; 
he  seemed  to  be  engaged  in  a  close  conversation  with 
a  red-haired,  freckle-faced  woman.  I  was  in  the  act 
of  asking  the  usher  to  call  him  to  the  door,  when,  all 
at  once,  Basil  said : 

"Papa,  come  out  here  and  pay  our  way  in,  and  be 
quick  about  it,  please;  we  are  getting  cold  out  here 
in  this  place." 

Then  the  usher  said,  "What,  that  bald-headed  fel- 
low your  father?  Surely  not;  he  has  been  here  about 
fourteen  weeks,  and  this  is  the  first  time  I  ever  knew 
that  he  was  a  married  man." 

Before  he  had  ceased  speaking,  John  was  at  my 
side,  saying: 

"Come  in  here,  and  stop  disgracing  me." 

He  did  not  try  to  find  a  seat  for  me,  but  left  me 
standing  in  the  middle  of  the  hall  near  a  young  gen- 
tleman, who  arose  from  his  chair  and  presented  it  to 


A  DESERTED  WIPE.  135 

ine,  while  niy  husband  returned  to  the  red-haired  wo- 
man. 

For  some  reason,  Basil  had  failed  to  enter  the  room 
with  Robah  and  myself.  Presently  I  heard  the  usher 
say: 

"Bird,  there's  a  boy  at  the  door  who  says  he  is 
your  son,  and  I  would  like  very  much  for  you  to  come 
and  take  charge  of  him."  Once  more  John  arose  from 
his  seat,  came  down  the  aisle  like  wildfire.  This  time 
the  red-haired  woman  accompanied  him,  and  before 
reaching  the  door,  he  said : 

"I  guess  you  are  mistaken  about  his  being  my  son ; 
he  is  my  little  brother." 

Then  the  young  man  at  the  door  exclaimed : 

"Well,  he  is  one  or  the  other,  and  enough  like  you 
to  be  your  double." 

After  paying  Basil's  admission  fee,  John  and  his 
companion  returned  to  the  front,  taking  no  more  no- 
tice of  me  than  if  I  had  been  a  thousand  miles  away. 

I  was  compelled  to  sit  there  among  strangers  for 
two  hours  or  more;  and  was  also  an  eye  witness  to 
the  heart-rending  scene  before  me.  Once  during  the 
time  I  motioned  for  my  husband  to  come  to  me.  He 
started,  and  as  he  did  so,  the  woman  sitting  by  him 
placed  her  hand  on  the  inside  of  his  shirt  collar  and 
exclaimed : 

"No,  you  will  not  leave  me  and  go  to  her;  if  you 
do,  I  will  be  even  with  you  yet." 

John  whispered  something  in  her  ear,  and  after- 
wards came  to  where  I  was,  and  wanted  to  know  how 
I  was  enjoying  myself.  I  said  very  much  indeed.  I 
then  asked  him  whether  he  thought  he  was  treating 
me  right,  and  who  the  red-haired  woman  was. 

He  said,  "Oh,  so  far  as  my  treatment  is  concerned, 
if  you  are  not  pleased  with  my  way  of  doing  you  can 


136  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

return  home  at  any  moment.  And  as  for  the  woman, 
I  don't  know  who  she  is;  I  never  met  her  until  to- 
night, and  it  does  seem  as  though  I  can't  get  rid  of 
her  on  easy  terms." 

I  wonder  now  that  I  didn't  kill  them  both  on  the 
spot.  After  John  had  returned  to  his  companion  of 
a  few  moments  before,  the  strangers  around  me  began 
whispering  one  to  another. 

I  heard  them  say — 

"I  feel  sorry  for  her.  He  has  been  telling  every- 
one that  she  was  his  sister,  but  the  general  rumor  is 
that  she  is  his  wife." 

When  the  reception  was  over,  and  we  were  in  the 
act  of  leaving  the  hall,  I  heard  the  Baptist  minister's 
daughter  say — 

"I  believe  that  I  will  introduce  myself  to  her,  in 
order  to  ascertain  whether  she  is  Miss  or  Mrs.  Bird !" 

I  suppose  that  John  heard  the  young  lady's  remark, 
for  he  caught  me  by  the  arm  and  said : 

"Come !     It's  time  we  were  going !" 

About  half  way  down  the  steps  he  began  cursing 
me,  and  continued  doing  so  until  we  were  in  sight  of 
home;  then  he  left  me  standing  in  the  middle  of  the 
street,  saying: 

"Now,  go  ahead,  and  I  will  come  when  I  get  ready." 

After  leaving  me,  I  saw  no  more  of  him  until  4 
o'clock  next  morning.  I  suppose  he  returned  to  the 
hall  to  accompany  the  red-haired  woman  to  her 
apartments. 

A  few  evenings  after  the  reception,  John  came 
home  early  and  informed  me  that  he  had  a  fair  pros- 
pect of  returning  to  our  old  home,  as  there  was  a  gen- 
tleman, stopping  down  at  the  Bluefield  Inn  who  con- 
templated opening  up  a  Cheap  John  store  in  Winston, 
and  had  spoken  something  about  employing  him  to 


A  DESEETED  WIFE.  137 

do  the  auctioneering.  My  husband  then  authorized 
me  to  place  before  him  his  Sunday  wearing  apparel, 
as  he  was  going  to  the  hotel  in  order  to  make  arrange- 
ments in  regard  to  salary,  etc.  I  was  delighted  with 
the  prospect  of  returning  to  Winston  once  more, 
therefore  did  everything  my  husband  asked  me  to  do, 
in  fact,  brushed  his  hat  just  as  he  was  leaving  the 
room  for  the  hotel,  as  I  thought.  I  remained  up, 
waiting  for  him  to  return,  until  12  o'clock,  then  re- 
tired, hardly  knowing  what  to  think,  but  would  have 
known  had  I  met  Jailer  Kingsbury  and  Chief  of  Police 
Watkins  with  their  prisoner.  For  further  informa- 
tion as  to  where  my  husband  was  found,  I  refer  you 
to  the  above  named  parties.  It's  sufficient  for  me  to 
say  that  I  heard  nothing  more  in  regard  to  the  auc- 
tion house  that  was  to  have  been  opened  up  in  Win- 
ston. 


138  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

CHAPTER  IX. 

THE  LIGHTS   TURNED   ON. 

On  Saturday  following  this  affair,  I  called  at  J.  D. 
Dickens'  store  and  inquired  for  my  husband.  I  was 
told  that  he  wasn't  in,  nor  wouldn't  be  soon,  as  he 
had  been  discharged.  Of  course  I  was  anxious  to 
learn  the  cause,  and  learned  from  the  proprietor  that 
about  three  weeks  previous  to  my  arrival  in  the  city 
John  had  let  a  certain  woman  there  have  $300  worth 
of  furniture  on  time,  and  he,  himself,  had  stood  good 
for  the  things  until  paid  for,  and  in  the  meantime 
had  allowed  the  woman  to  dispose  of  the  furniture 
and  leave  the  city.  Dickens  was  the  loser,  and  the 
result  was  that  John  was  dismissed  from  the  store. 

I  also  learned  from  Mr.  Dickens  that  quite  a  num- 
ber of  articles,  such  as  costly  dress  patterns,  shoes, 
wraps,  etc.,  had  been  purchased  from  him  by  John. 
The  things  were  supposed  to  have  been  sent  to  the 
children  and  I,  but  for  some  reason  we  failed  to  re- 
ceive them.  And  when  I  questioned  John  about  the 
matter,  he  cursed  as  usual,  and  said  that  it  was  all  a 
d—  lie. 

I  said,  "Well,  I  noticed  that  the  things  were  charged 
to  you  on  the  books,  at  any  rate;  as  to  whether  they 
left  the  store,  I  do  not  know." 

I  also  asked  my  husband  what  had  become  of  the 
money  he  had  earned  since  his  arrival  in  Bluefield. 
He  at  first  told  me  it  was  none  of  my  d —  business, 
that  I  would  never  know ;  but  finally  said  that  he  had 
sent  $25  of  his  earnings  home  to  pay  debts  of  honor. 
He  then  gave  me  the  names  of  the  parties  to  whom 
he  had  sent  the  money,  and  on  my  return  to  Winston 


A  DESERTED  WIPE.  13? 

I  called  upon  them  in  order  to  ascertain  whether  or 
not  they  received  the  amount  due  them.  Neither 
party  had  done  so;  and,  furthermore,  told  me  that 
John  did  not  owe  them  a  cent.  So,  I  supposed  the  $25 
never  reached  Winston,  N.  C,  but  remained  to  do 
service  in  Bluefield,  W.  Va. 

Before  leaving  Mr.  Dickens'  store  that  morning,  he 
told  me  that  he  had  not  intended  employing  my  hus- 
band any  longer  than  March  1,  and  was  more  than 
surprised  at  him  for  sending  for  his  family,  and  had 
he  known  anything  in  regard  to  the  matter,  he  would 
have  written  me  not  to  come. 

I  now  see  why  John  was  anxious  for  me  to  dispose 
of  my  furniture  and  come  to  him  at  once.  He  either 
wanted  the  money  I  had  received,  in  order  that  he 
might  make  the  first  payment  on  the  furniture  he  had 
stood  good  for,  or  else  intended  pocketing  all  he  could 
lay  his  hands  upon,  and  then  skipping  the  place,  leav- 
ing me  penniless  and  alone  among  strangers.  But, 
as  it  happened,  I  had  returned  home  before  being 
left  without  money  or  a  pillow  to  lay  my  throbbing 
head  upon. 

After  lying  around  Bluefield  for  a  week  or  two 
without  work,  John  entered  my  room  one  evening  and 
seemed  in  a  very  good  humor.  He  came  up  to  where 
I  was  sitting,  placed  his  hand  upon  my  shoulder,  and 
said: 

"Ida,  I  have  a  proposition  to  make,  and  I  hope  that 
you  will  approve  of  it.  If  you  will  send  a  telegraph 
money  order  back  home  for  enough  money  for  me  to 
go  on  to  Columbus,  Ohio,  I  think  I  can  get  a  perma- 
nent job  there,  and  we  will  make  the  place  our  future 
home,  and  I  also  will  give  you  my  word  as  a  gentle- 
man that  I  will  reform  and  lead  a  different  life  from 
this  time  forth." 


140  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

I  said :  "No,  John.  Your  promises  are  like  pie 
crust — easily  broken;  therefore,  the  few  dollars  I 
have  at  home  in  bank  must  remain  where  they  are. 
However,  I  will  send  to  Winston  for  enough  money 
to  take  us  back  there,  and,  on  reaching  the  place,  will 
sweep  the  streets,  if  need  be,  if  you  will  live  an  hon- 
est, upright  life.  I  know  that  you  can  be  a  man  once 
more  if  you  will  only  try !" 

John  looked  at  me  as  though  he  would  like  to  crush 
me,  then  cursed  me  and  left  the  room.  On  going  out 
I  heard  him  say — 

"Foiled  again !  It  does  look  like  nothing  will 
work!"  I  laughed  to  myself  and  said:  "Ah,  ha!  A 
burnt  child  never  fools  with  the  fire  the  second  time, 
and  I  will  now  take  warning  and  hold  on  to  what 
little  money  I  have,  for  I  see  that  the  money  is  all  he 
is  after." 

I  at  that  time  had  $55  on  my  person,  but  did  not 
dare  to  let  John  know  of  it.  I  believe  he  would  have 
killed  me  in  order  to  have  secured  the  money.  When 
my  husband  saw  that  he  wasn't  going  to  get  hold  of 
the  money  as  easily  as  he  had  expected,  he  agreed  to 
return  to  Winston,  and  requested  me  to  send  for  the 
money  at  once,  and  that  evening  on  leaving  home  he 
said : 

"Oh,  yes!  Ida,  I'll  attend  to  that  money  matter 
and  save  you  the  trouble." 

I  said,  "It  isn't  any  trouble,  and  I  had  rather  at- 
tend to  it  myself.  It's  true  I  never  sent  a  telegraph 
money  order  in  my  life,  but  am  not  ashamed  to  ask 
advice  from  those  who  have." 

So  it  was  arranged  that  we  were  to  return  home  in 
a  day  or  two. 

On  Saturday  night  before  leaving  Bluefleld,  John 
pretended  to  be  talking  in  his  sleep,  and  said  that  he 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  141 

was  going  to  get  married  the  1st  of  March.  He  also 
said  that  he  wanted  a  coffin,  and  wondered  where  he 
could  get  one  on  the  sly. 

Sunday  morning  he  insisted  that  I  acompany  him 
for  the  purpose  of  taking  a  walk  over  on  the  moun- 
tain. He  told  me  that  he  had  promised  a  young  doc- 
tor, who  was  a  friend  of  his,  to  meet  him  there. 

I  thought  of  the  sleeping  conversation  on  the  pre- 
vious night  and  remained  at  home,  thus  depriving 
the  coffin  that  was  in  readiness  for  its  burden. 

I  believe  that  John  had  intended  murdering  me 
while  out  walking,  and  then  concealing  my  body 
somewhere  on  the  mountain.  But  as  it  happened  he 
escaped  a  free  ride  to  the  gallows  this  time  by  my 
failing  to  comply  with  his  request. 

On  Monday  morning  I  began  making  preparations 
for  our  return  to  Winston.  While  engaged  in  pack- 
ing my  trunks,  Basil  entered  the  room  and  exclaimed: 

"Oh,  mamma!  have  you  heard  the  latest  news?  A 
little  boy  bearing  the  name  of  Bennie  Eckles  was 
killed  a  few  minutes  ago  by  the  train.  You  ought  to 
have  seen  him. 

My  first  thoughts  were  of  the  mother,  and  I  made 
up  my  mind  that  I  would  be  with  her  in  less  than 
ten  minutes  time  if  possible. 

I  left  off  packing  the  trunks,  donned  a  hat  that  was 
lying  close  by  and  was  soon  on  my  way  to  the  home 
of  the  injured  boy.  I  had  gone  only  about  three 
blocks  when  I  met  an  officer,  to  whom  I  said : 

"Good  morning!"  And  asked  him  to  direct  me  to 
the  Widow  Eckles'  cottage.  The  officer  told  me  he 
would  do  so  with  pleasure,  and  as  we  walked  along 
he  wanted  to  know  whether  I  wasn't  the  little  lady 
who  had  arrived  in  the  city  a  few  weeks  before  in 
search  of  her  husband.     I  told  him  I  was.     He  then 


142  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

seemed  anxious  to  learn  why  I  had  failed  to  wait  for 
his  return  that  night  at  the  station.  For  the  moment 
I  hardly  knew  what  to  say,  as  I  didn't  care  to  have 
the  officer  know  that  I  doubted  his  returning;  so  I 
said: 

"Well,  not  knowing  but  what  you  would  be  de- 
tained longer  with  your  prisoner  than  you  at  first  ex- 
pected, I  became  uneasy,  therefore  went  in  quest  of 
my  husband  in  company  with  another  young  gentle- 
man; however,  allow  me  to  thank  you  for  your 
trouble." 

By  this  time  we  were  within  sight  of  the  widow's 
cottage.  So  I  told  my  guide  that  I  would  need  his 
services  no  longer.  I  again  thanked  him,  and  he  dis- 
appeared, leaving  me  to  continue  my  way  alone. 

But  in  a  few  minutes  I  was  sorry  I  had  dismissed 
the  officer,  for  on  reaching  the  West  End  bridge  I 
discovered  it  to  be  all  covered  with  snow,  and  I 
almost  feared  to  cross  lest  I  plunge  to  the  dark  waters 
below;  while  thinking  I  crossed  over  to  the  further 
side  in  safety,  and  as  I  did  so,  thought  of  Lucy  Gray 
as  she  climbed  the  hills  that  stormy  night,  but  never 
reached  the  town. 

After  crossing  the  bridge,  I  met  a  hair-lipped  boy. 
He  was  ragged  and  shoeless;  I  felt  sorry  for  him,  so 
I  said,  "Little fellow,  would  you  like  to  earn  a  nickel?" 
"Yes,  ma'am,"  was  the  quick  reply. 

I  then  placed  the  money  in  his  hand,  and  told  him 
to  accompany  me  to  Mrs.  Eckles'  door. 

On  reaching  it,  I  rapped  gently,  and  was  shown 
into  the  room  where  the  Angel  of  Death  was  hover- 
ing near.  Upon  entering,  I  beheld  the  mother  kneel- 
ing by  the  bedside  of  her  dying  child.  I  walked  up  to 
where  she  knelt,  placed  my  hand  upon  her  arm,  and 
said:  "Good    morning,    madam.     I    am    Mrs.    John 


A  DESERTED  WIPE.  143 

Beard,  from  Winston,  N.  C,  and  have  come  to  assist 
and  sympathize  with  you  in  your  distress.  I  heard  of 
it  a  few  moments  ago,  and  came  at  once.  Isn't  there 
something  that  I  can  do  to  relieve  the  little  sufferer?" 

The  poor  woman  looked  up  into  my  face,  and  ex- 
claimed :  "Lady,  you  possess  a  kind  heart,  but  there's 
nothing  you  can  do  that  would  save  my  boy's  life." 

She  then  motioned  me  to  be  seated,  and  continued : 

''You  would  not  care  to  have  him  live,  if  you  could 
see  how  badly  he  is  hurt." 

After  I  had  been  seated  about  five  minutes,  the 
child  breathed  its  last.  I  shall  never  forget  the  scene. 
There  before  me  lay  the  mangled  form  of  little  Benny. 
He  had  been  crushed  beyond  recognition  by  the 
mighty  wheels  of  the  locomotive.  Only  a  few  hours 
before  he  had  left  home  for  the  purpose  of  refilling 
the  coal-chest,  and  had  nearly  completed  his  task 
when  the  engine  backed  over  him,  and  now  he  lay  a 
lifeless  corpse  in  the  home  of  his  widowed  mother. 

I  remained  with  the  grief-stricken  parent  for  some 
time  after  her  boy  had  passed  away,  then  told  her 
that  I  must  be  going,  as  on  the  morrow  I  intended 
leaving  the  city,  and  in  order  to  be  in  readiness, 
would  be  compelled  to  return  to  my  apartments  and 
finish  the  packing  I  had  begun  a  few  moments  pre- 
vious to  Benny's  accident. 

Before  taking  my  departure,  I  placed  a  silver  dollar 
into  the  widow's  hand,  and  implored  her  to  bear  up 
as  lest,  she  could  beneaih  her  weight  of  sorrow. 

I  said,  "I,  too,  am  a  mother,  and  have  a  little  babe 
on  the  Golden  Shore;  therefore,  understand  how  to 
sympathize  with  you." 

Just  as  I  was  passing  out  at  the  doorway,  the  poor 
woman  caught  me  by  the  arm,  and  said :  "Lady, 
please  leave  your  address,  so  that  we  mav  write-  to 


144  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

you  at  some  future  day.  We  shall  never  forget  your 
kindness." 

In  a  few  moments  more,  I  had  written  my  address, 
handed  it  to  her,  pressed  her  hand,  then  left  her  with 
her  dead. 

Qn  leaving  the  widow's  cottage,  I  beheld  in  the 
distance  the  main  portion  of  the  city,  and  said  to 
myself,  "Oh!  if  I  only  were  a  little  bird,  I'd  spread 
my  wings  and  fly  back  to  my  own  native  State,  with- 
out returning  to  the  spot  from  whence  I  fled." 

At  this  moment  I  recalled  to  mind  a  poem  I  had 
once  recited  when  a  child  at  school.  The  remem- 
brance of  the  poem  brought  tears  to  my  eyes,  and  I 
thought,  oh,  how  many  years  have  flown  by  on  the 
wings  of  time  since  I  was  a  little  girl,  standing  in  the 
presence  of  a  large  audience,  addressing  them  thus : 

"  I  wish  I  were  a  little  bird, 
Among  the  leaves  to  dwell; 
I'd  scale  the  skies  with  gladness, 
Or  seek  some  lonely  dell. 

"  My  morning  song  should  celebrate 
The  glories  of  the  earth  ; 
My  evening  hymn  ring  gladly 
With  a  thrill  of  ceaseless  mirth,"  etc. 

It  isn't  worth  while  to  continue  the  poem,  as  many 
of  you  are  already  familiar  with  it. 

As  I  walked  along,  thinking  of  the  past  and  pres- 
ent, I  heard  a  childish  voice  cry  out :  "There !  there ! 
mother,  I  knew  the  good  lady  would  come  this  way 
again !" 

On  looking  up,  I  beheld  my  little  hair-lipped  friend 
and  his  mother  seated  in  the  doorway  of  their  hum- 
ble cottage.  .  The  moment  I  laid  eyes  upon  the  female 
I  knew  that  she  had  never  known  many  of  the  pleas- 
ures of  this  world.  So  I  tossed  her  boy  a  dime,  the 
last  penny  I  had  in  my  purse,  bowed  to  them  and 
passed  on. 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  145 

CHAPTER  X. 

misery!  misery!  more  misery! 

It  was  not  until  2  p.  m.  that  I  reached  Mrs.  Jones' 
residence;  and  on  entering  my  room  I  burst  out  cry- 
ing, for  I  could  not  banish  from  my  mind  the  man- 
gled form  in  the  cot  on  the  mountain. 

After  I  had  given  full  vent  to  my  feelings,  I  arose 
from  the  chair  on  which  I  was  sitting,  bathed  my 
face,  and  then  began  the  work  I  had  left  undone. 
Presently  all  was  finished;  the  last  article  had  been 
packed,  and  the  trunks  were  now  ready  for  the  sta- 
tion. 

While  packing  my  trunks  I  had  not  forgotten  the 
Kingsbury  family,  and  had  laid  aside  something  for 
each  member,  as  a  souvenir  of  my  presence  among 
them. 

A  few  days  before  John  had  said,  "Ida,  you  must 
be  very  careful  that  you  do  not  let  Mrs.  Jones  or  my 
uncle's  family  find  out  that  we  intend  leaving  the  city. 
Should  they  do  so,  they  might  hold  our  baggage  for 
room  rent  and  board." 

I  just  supposed  the  board  bill  John  had  reference 
to  was  for  the  children  and  I;  and  you  can  imagine 
my  surprise  when,  on  going  over  to  the  Kingsbury 
House,  I  learned  that  my  husband  was  due  his  uncle 
$45  for  board,  as  he  had  never  paid  them  a  cent  since 
his  arrival  among  them.  His  excuse  for  not  doing  so 
was  that  I  was  extravagant,  and  demanded  all  of  his 
wages,  leaving  him  nothing — not  even  enough  to 
clothe  himself. 

I  told  them  that  I  had  only  received  $35  out  of 
$244,  the  amount  John  had  been  paid  while  in  J.  D. 


146  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

Dickens'  employ.  I  said,  "Now,  I  will  leave  you  to 
judge  whether  or  not  I  was  the  extravagant  one,  or 
whether  he  spent  the  money  himself." 

At  this  moment,  Uncle  Lawrence,  who  was  sitting 
at  the  head  of  the  table,  arose  from  his  seat,  and  ex- 
claimed : 

"Here,  Ida,  is  my  pistol;  take  it  and  blow  that 
villain's  brains  out!  It  fairly  makes  my  blood  boil 
within  me  to  think  of  how  he  came  here  and  tried  his 
best  to  lower  you  in  our  estimation,  by  leaving  the 
impression  that  you  were  a  perfect  shrew — spending 
every  cent  of  money  he  could  rake  and  scrape.  He 
also  told  us  that  you  were  the  cause  of  his  failure  in 
Winston.  But,  thank  God,  you  appeared  upon  the 
scene  at  the  last  moment,  and  we  have  found  you  to 
be  a  lady — far  that  low-down  cur's  superior— and  now 
I  am  determined  that  you  shall  know  all  in  regard  to 
his  mode  of  living  while  in  this  city." 

At  these  remarks  my  husband  left  the  table,  picked 
up  a  little  tracer  that  was  lying  on  the  sewing  ma- 
chine, and,  like  a  panther  when  ready  to  spring  upon 
its  prey,  glided  to  where  I  was  standing,  and  would 
have  inflicted  a  severe,  if  not  fatal,  wound  upon  my 
head  had  not  Miss  Kingsbury  cried  out : 

"John  Beard !  is  it  possible  that  you  intend  mur- 
dering Ida  right  here  before  our  eyes?" 

John  dropped  the  tracer  to  the  floor,  and  stood 
trembling,  as  a  murderer  would  have  done  while  in 
the  act  of  mounting  the  scaffold. 

Mr.  Kingsbury  then  told  his  wife  to  accompany  me 
into  an  adjacent  room,  and  when  there  tell  me  all  in 
regard  to  John's  life  during  the  past  fourteen  weeks. 

Oh,  God!  When  she  had  finished  her  story,  I  felt 
as  though  a  dagger  had  been  thrust  to  my  heart.  For 
I  learned  how  John  had  spent  his  time  with  the  vile 


A  DESEETED  WIPE.  147 

women  of  the  place;  and  not  being  satisfied  with 
this,  had  separated  a  man  and  his  wife  also.  On  re- 
entering the  dining-room  it  seemed  to  me  as  though 
I  was  going  to  hear  my  death  warrant  read — and  so 
I  was.  I  walked  up  to  where  my  husband  stood, 
placed  my  hand  upon  his  arm,  and  said : 

"Poor  wretch !  Once  more  I  will  give  you  a  chance 
to  vindicate  yourself!  Tell  me,  oh,  tell  me,  do  they 
speak  the  truth  ? "' 

John  turned  pale  and  bowed  his  head,  and  an- 
swered : 

"I  suppose  so." 

I  said,  "Very  well,  then;  from  this  time  forth  you 
and  I  are  aliens  to  each  other.  On  to-morrow  morn- 
ing I  shall  return  to  my  own  State,  while  you  remain 
here  to  finish  the  life  you  have  begun." 

At  first  I  hardly  knew  whether  to  credit  the  story 
I  had  heard,  as  John  had  written  the  most  affec- 
tionate letters  you  ever  read,  and  in  them  had  told 
me  how  highly  he  had  spoken  of  me  to  his  uncle's 
family  and  how  anxious  they  were  to  meet  me.  But 
when  I  heard  the  words  "I  suppose  so"  spoken,  from 
my  husband's  lips,  I  knew  that  all  was  over  between 
us,  for  I  could  never,  never  place  confidence  in  him 
again.  At  the  same  time  I  felt  sorry  for  him.  He 
had  been  completely  caught  in  his  own  trap  before 
being  aware  of  it,  and  now  would  go  from  bad  to 
worse.  His  end — oh,  what  would  it  be?  I  could 
keep  back  the  tears  no  longer,  so  repaired  to  Mrs. 
Jones'  residence.  On  entering  my  apartments  there, 
I  said  to  myself: 

"Now,  I  can  interpret  the  dream  I  had  before  leav- 
ing home.  Here  in  this  city  I  have  died — yes,  the 
last  spark  of  life  has  gone  out,  and  I  shall  return  to 
Winston  to  bury  my  past.     The  poor,  broken  heart  I 


148  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

will  carry  back  with  me  a  true  emblem  of  the  casket 
in  my  dream.  I  then  noticed  lying  on  the  table  the 
things  I  had  intended  distributing  among  the  Kings- 
bury family ;  so  I  said  : 

"Well,  I  must  return  to  the  boarding-house  for  the 
purpose  of  presenting  the  souvenirs,  and  also  bidding 
my  relatives  goodbye,  as  I  would  leave  on  the  early 
morning  train  before  the  family  were  astir. 

On  re-entering  the  dining-room  I  beheld  about 
twenty-live  machinists  seated  at  the  table,  and  after 
I  had  said  goodbye  to  uncle's  family,  these  people 
clad  in  blue  spoke  up,  saying : 

"Aren't  you  going  to  say  'goodbye'  to  us,  too?" 

I  turned  around,  and  with  a  polite  bow,  said : 

"Goodbye,  gentlemen !  On  my  return  to  Winston 
I  shall  remember  you  with  kindness." 

As  I  was  leaving  the  room,  I  heard  them  say : 

"Hurrah !  hurrah,  for  North  Carolina !  Mrs.  Beard 
is  a  lady  if  there  ever  was  one!" 

In  the  hallway  I  met  my  uncle,  and  told  him  that 
the  moment  I  reached  home  I  would  send  money  back 
to  pay  mine  and  the  children's  board. 

He  said,  "No.  You  shall  do  nothing  of  the  kind. 
But  keep  what  you  have,  and  get  a  divorce  from 
John  Beard  at  once.  You  can  get  one  on  my  own 
evidence.  Should  your  attorneys  desire  my  deposi- 
tion I  will  gladly  give  it,  and  will  assist  you  in  every 
way  possible,  and  I  am  sure  that  Chief  of  Police  Wat- 
kins  will  do  the  same,  for  if  ever  he  hated  a  human 
being  on  earth  it  is  John  Beard." 

I  then  bid  uncle  goodbye,  and  once  more  returned 
to  Dr.  Jones'  residence,  where  I  dressed  myself  pre- 
paratory to  leaving  the  city,  as  I  had  no  idea  of  retir- 
ing for  the  night — was  afraid  to  do  so  on  account  of 
being  robbed  by  John.     Aunt  had  cautioned  me  that, 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  149 

whatever  I  did,  not  to  allow  my  husband  to  get  hold 
of  a  cent  of  money,  as  he  had  already  declared  that, 
in  case  he  did  so,  he  would  take  the  other  end  of  the 
road,  going  to  Columbus,  Ohio,  instead  of  returning 
with  me  to  Winston. 

A  few  hours  after  the  racket  at  the  Kingsbury 
House,  John  came  to  me  crying,  and  said  that  if  I 
would  agree  to  pay  his  way  back  home,  he  would 
promise  to  lead  an  upright  life  from  the  time  he 
reached  the  place.  Fool !  fool !  that  I  was,  to  do  as 
he  requested  me.  The  amount  spent  in  bringing  him 
home  would  have  purchased  food  for  his  hungry  chil- 
dren long  after  he  had  deserted  them. 

Soon  after  I  had  donned  my  travelling  costume, 
John  entered  the  room  and  informed  me  that  our 
trunks  would  be  carried  to  the  depot  some  time  that 
evening — between  10  and  11  o'clock — as  we  would 
not  leave  on  the  regular  train,  but  would  board  a 
sleeper  that  would  pass  through  there  from  Cincin- 
nati at  4  a.  m.,  and  in  this  way  would  reach  Roanoke 
at  least  an  hour  earlier  than  we  would  otherwise. 

I  said,  "Well,  I  don't  know  that  I  am  particular 
about  reaching  Roanoke  at  any  certain  time.  Why 
should  we  be?" 

John  then  told  me  that  he  had  a  reason  for  doing 
so,  but  did  not  state  what  it  was.  I  afterwards 
learned,  and  was  not  surprised  at  his  being  in  a  hurry 
to  leave  Bluefield;  for  most  of  us  feel  better  running 
at  large  than  we  would  were  we  placed  behind  the 
bars. 

Well,  I  had  agreed  to  leave  on  the  early  train,  so 
seated  myself  in  a  rocking  chair,  and  began  to  read. 
John  wanted  to  know  whether  I  did  not  intend  retir- 
ing. I  told  him  no,  I  believed  that  I  preferred  read- 
ing in  preference  to  sleeping. 


150  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

My  remarks  worried  him  no  little,  and  from  behind 
my  paper  I  could  see  that  he  would  have  liked  to 
have  sent  forth  a  volley  of  oaths,  but  did  not  dare  do 
so  just  at  this  period,  as  I  happened  to  be  carrying 
the  purse. 

Presently  John  began  snoring  at  a  terrible  rate, 
and  I  knew  that  he  had  at  last  fallen  asleep ;  so  I  arose 
from  my  chair  and  glided  across  the  room  to  where  I 
had  concealed  the  money.  Thirty-five  dollars  of  the 
amount  I  placed  on  my  person,  and  $20  went  into 
my  purse  to  purchase  our  tickets  home.  Then  I  heard 
the  whistle  blowing  for  3  o'clock.  So  I  said,  "Well, 
only  one  more  hour  in  this  miserable  hole,  before  I 
leave  with  the  hope  of  never  returning." 

At  half-past  3  I  heard  the  porter  from  the  Kings- 
bury House  calling  me.  He  said,  "Oh,  Mrs.  Beard, 
you  all  had  better  be  getting  up,  or  you  will  be  left. 
Your  train  will  pass  through  here  in  a  few  minutes." 

I  said,  "All  right ;  thank  you,  Lemon" ;  tossed  him 
a  dime,  and  told  him  goodbye  also,  as  he  had  been 
very  kind  to  me  during  my  stay  at  the  hotel. 

(From  my  early  childhood  I  had  been  taught  to 
treat  servants  with  kindness. ) 

After  the  porter  had  returned  to  his  post  of  duty, 
I  bathed  my  face,  brushed  my  hair,  then  awoke  the 
children  and  soon  all  was  ready. 

Before  calling  John,  I  looked  at  him  and  wondered 
whether  it  would  be  best  to  take  him  with  me  or 
leave  him  where  he  was.  While  I  was  standing  at 
his  bedside  he  opened  his  eyes,  and  was  up  in  a  mo- 
ment, saying: 

"Why,  I  declare;  I  believe  my  little  girl  had  in- 
tended leaving  her  old  John.  It's  a  good  thing  she 
didn't,  or  he  would  have  been  following  her  in  a 
hurry." 


A  DESERTED  WIPE.  151 

Just  before  taking  our  departure,  John  placed  his 
arm  around  my  waist,  and  I  shall  never  forget  his 
beating  heart  as  he  pressed  me  to  his  bosom  and  im- 
plored me  to  look  him  in  the  face  and  say  that  I  did 
not  believe  half  of  what  the  vile  wretches  there  had 
told  me. 

I  looked  at  him  and  said,  "John,  they  may  have 
prevaricated  to  some  extent,  but  my  own  eyes  have 
not  deceived  me.  Then,  you  remember,  you  told  me 
a  few  daj's  ago  that  you  had  not  been  true  to  me  for 
the  last  six  years.  I  think  I  had  proof  enough  of  it 
before  leaving  home.  How  about  the  widow,  and 
also  the  woman  you  have  furnished  with  literature 
during  the  past  two  years?" 

John  made  no  reply  to  my  remarks,,  but  started  to 
push  me  from  him,  then  drew  me  to  his  side  again. 
I  suppose  he  happened  to  think  of  who  was  to  pur- 
chase the  tickets  home. 

On  going  down  stairs,  I  met  Mrs.  Jones  in  the  hall- 
way. She,  too,  was  up  and  ready  to  bid  me  goodbye. 
As  I  extended  my  hand  she  threw  her  arms  around 
my  neck,  and  for  the  moment  wept  like  a  child ;  then 
told  me  that  she  was  glad,  for  my  sake,  that  I  was 
going  back  to  old  North  Carolina,  as  it  was  also  her 
native  State,  and  she  would  be  delighted  to  accom- 
pany me.  We  spent  a  few  seconds  in  saying  goodbye 
to  each  other,  then,  in  company  with  the  children  and 
my  husband,  I  repaired  to  the  station. 

Upon  entering  the  door  of  the  reception  room,  John 
said,  "Well,  we  will  leave  here  in  about  five  minutes ; 
so  I  had  better  get  the  tickets  at  once." 

I  told  him  that  I  would  purchase  the  tickets  myself. 

He  looked  at  me  with  vengeance,  and  said,  "The 
very  idea  of  your  doing  so,  when  you  never  bought  a 
ticket  or  checked  a  trunk  in  vour  life!" 


152  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

I  told  him  that  it  was  never  too  late  to  learn,  and 
that  I  would  begin  by  taking  my  first  lesson  right 
away,  and  without  saying  more,  I  stepped  up  to  the 
ticket  office  and  asked  the  agent  to  let  me  have  two 
tickets  and  a  half  to  Winston,  N.  C.  I  then  placed 
before  him  a  twenty  dollar  bill,  and  after  taking  out 
the  amount  due  him,  he  handed  me  back  the  change, 
which  John  said  he  would  take  charge  of;  but  before 
he  had  a  chance  to  pick  up  the  money,  I  did  so  my- 
self, and  told  him  I  was  capable  of  attending  to  my 
own  affairs. 

John  laughed  and  said,  "Well,  so  far  you  are  all 
O.  K. ;  but  what  will  you  do  next?" 

I  told  him  to  wait  and  see.  I  then  asked  the  agent 
to  direct  me  to  the  baggage  room.  When  there,  I  told 
them  that  on  the  previous  evening  I  had  placed  two 
trunks  in  their  care,  and  would  now  like  to  have 
checks  for  them.  They  did  not  comply  with  my  re- 
quest, and  I  wondered  what  could  be  the  matter. 

John  began  laughing  again. 

Then  the  thought  occurred  to  me  that  perhaps  I 
ought  to  produce  my  tickets.  I  did  so,  and  received 
the  checks  at  once. 

John  began  laughing  right,  and  said,  "Well,  I  be- 
lieve you  could  travel,  after  all." 

I  told  him  all  I  needed  was  the  money. 

About  this  time  Basil  cried  out,  "Mamma,  our 
train  is  coming!"  and  in  a  few  minutes  we  were  all 
on  board,  bound  for  Winston — yes,  for  dear  old  home! 

The  car  in  which  we  were  was  crowded  to  over- 
flowing— four  different  States  being  represented. 

All  at  once  John  began  flirting  with  a  dark-com- 
plexioned girl,  who  looked  as  if  though  she  had  not 
bathed  her  face  for  the  past  three  days.  I  heard  her 
say  that  she  was  from  Cincinnati,  and  intended  stop- 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  153 

ping  in  Koanoke.  The  girl  seemed  to  be  alone,  with 
the  exception  of  the  attention  she  received  from  the 
conductor.  On  passing  through  the  car  he  would 
cast  a  glance  and  smile  in  her  direction. 

After  hearing  her  conversation,  I  thought,  now, 
John  will  call  for  his  ticket  in  a  few  minutes.  I  had 
scarcely  ceased  thinking  this,  when  he  came  over  to 
where  I  was  sitting,  placed  his  arm  upon  the  back  of 
the  seat,  and  said : 

"What  is  my  little  darling  studying  about?  I  won- 
der whether  she  loves  her  old  John?" 

I  said,  "Oh,  yes,  certainly  I  do" ;  and  I  knew  what 
was  coming  next,  so  was  ready  with  an  answer. 

When  John  asked  for  his  ticket,  I  said,  "No;  I 
purchased  the  tickets  with  my  own  money,  and  ex- 
pect to  hold  on  to  them  until  after  leaving  Roanoke; 
then  I  shall  turn  them  over  to  Captain  Stanfield." 

John  turned  red  in  the  face,  and  would  have  cursed 
me  had  it  not  been  that  he  had  an  eye  to  getting  what 
little  money  I  had  on  reaching  Winston. 

When  John  saw  that  I  was  determined  not  to  give 
up  the  tickets,  he  once  more  seated  himself  near  the 
dark-complexioned  girl,  while  I  passed  away  the  time 
by  viewing  the  scenery  along  the  road,  and  wonder- 
ing how  my  life  would  end.  I  almost  wished  for 
death,  and  came  near  having  my  wish  granted,  as  it 
was  only  by  mere  chance  that  we  escaped  a  collision 
a  few  miles  further  on.  I  have  wished  since  that  the 
heavy  freight  that  was  bearing  down  upon  us  had 
dashed  onward  through  our  car,  and  in  this  way 
ended  all  niy  suffering  in  a  moment's  time.  But  the 
One  above  knew  best,  and  spared  my  life  for  some 
other  purpose,  I  suppose. 

On  my  way  home  I  enjoyed  the  scenery  very  much, 
especially  from  East  Radford  on  the  Roanoke,  and 


154  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

was  surprised  when  I  learned  that  it  was  2  p.  m., 
and  we  at  our  destination,  or,  at  least,  at  the  place 
where  we  were  to  change  cars  for  North  Carolina. 

On  alighting  from  the  train,  John  assisted  me  into 
the  reception  room  at  the  depot,  then  said  that  he 
had  noticed  W.  W.  Workman  standing  on  the  plat- 
form, and  if  I  had  no  objection  he  believed  he  would 
go  and  speak  to  him. 

I  said,  "All  right,"  and  saw  nothing  more  of  my 
husband  until  a  few  minutes  before  leaving  for  Wins- 
ton. I  just  supposed  that  he  had  gone  to  say  good- 
bye to  his  Cincinnati  bird,  therefore  intended  board- 
ing our  train  alone,  if  he  had  not  returned  in  time. 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  155 

CHAPTER  XI. 

BACK  TO  THE  "OLD  NORTH  STATE." 

After  leaving  Roanoke,  John  began  his  sickening 
lovemaking  again.  I  paid  no  attention  to  his  idle 
prattle;  so  he  soon  changed  his  conversation,  and 
wanted  to  know  where  I  intended  stopping  on  reach- 
ing Winston. 

I  told  him  I  had  not  thought  much  about  the  mat- 
ter, but  guessed  that  we  would  make  our  home  Avith 
Mrs.  Hardy  for  a  day  or  two,  until  other  arrange- 
ments could  be  made. 

When  we  reached  Mayodan,  John  purchased  a 
lunch  for  himself,  and  distributed  a  portion  of  it  be- 
tween Robah  and  Basil.  They  all  three  remained 
standing  on  the  platform  until  the  lunch  had  disap- 
peared. Then  my  husband  entered  the  car  and  ex- 
claimed, "Why,  mamma,  I  forgot  you !" 

Just  at  this  moment  a  salesman,  who  was  sitting 
to  our  left,  said,  "My  dear  sir,  a  few  years  ago  you 
would  not  have  forgotten  her." 

John  said,  "Perhaps  not;  but  now  'de  things  am 
changed  about  the  place,  de  darkies  all  am  gone.'  " 

The  salesman  did  not  reply  to  this,  as  my  husband 
had  supposed  he  would,  but  turned  away,  with  an 
expression  on  his  face,  as  if  to  say,  "You  are  no  gen- 
tleman, or  you  would  not  treat  a  lady  so." 

On  nearing  Winston,  I  became  very  despondent.  I 
had  a  presentment  that  something  terrible  was  going 
to  happen,  and  when  the  train  slowed  up  in  front  of 
the  Norfolk  and  Western  depot,  I  could  scarcely  real- 
ize where  I  was,  until  I  heard  Sandy,  the  porter  from 
Hotel  Jones,  say,  "Step  right  this  way";  then  knew 


156  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

that  my  feet  were  on  North  Carolina  soil,  and  I  at 
home  once  more. 

So  I  gave  instructions  for  my  baggage  to  be  sent  to 
the  Hardy  House,  and  afterwards  repaired  there  my- 
self. The  landlady's  daughter  came  to  the  door,  and 
I  asked  her  whether  they  could  accommodate  us  for 
a  few  days. 

She  said,  "Why,  certainly;  walk  right  into  the 
parlor,  and  I  will  send  mother  at  once,  as  I  have  just 
started  out  for  a  little  airing,  but  will  return  soon." 

While  waiting  for  Mrs.  Hardy  to  make  her  appear- 
ance, John  asked  me  for  a  dollar ;  said  he  was  suffer- 
ing with  a  severe  headache,  and  would  be  compelled 
to  do  something  for  it.  I  handed  him  the  money, 
and  told  him  to  try  something  else  besides  bromo- 
seltzer,  as  I  had  a  perfect  horror  of  the  stuff,  on  ac- 
count of  his  having  used  such  a  quantity  already. 
John  kissed  me,  and  promised  to  do  as  I  requested 
him;  then  left  the  parlor,  and  did  not  return  until 
supper  time. 

On  making  his  appearance,  he  seemed  to  take  great 
delight  in  showing  me  his  bromo-seltzer  bottle.  My 
heart  sank  within  me,  for  I  knew  that  he  intended 
continuing  in  his  old  way,  and  that  there  would  be 
no  more  happiness  for  me. 

After  eating  supper,  John  told  me  that  he  was  go- 
ing to  spend  the  evening  with  his  father,  and  would 
not  be  back  until  late,  as  he  had  some  important 
business  to  attend  to.  So  I  was  left  alone,  and  re- 
tired early,  but  could  not  sleep  for  wondering  what 
would  become  of  us. 

About  1  a.  m.  John  entered  our  room,  looking  as  if 
though  he  had  just  returned  from  his  own  funeral.  I 
asked  him  why  he  seemed  so  despondent. 

He  said,  "Oh,  well,  everything's  the  matter.  Father 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  157 

is  very  angry  because  I  came  back  to  Winston,  after 
promising,  never  to  return." 

I  said,  "Well,  are  you  compelled  to  do  as  your 
father  says?" 

John  said,  "Yes;  under  the  circumstances  I  am. 
And  in  order  to  avoid  a  fuss,  I  suppose  we  had  better 
make  arrangements  to  leave  here  in  a  few  days,  or, 
at  least,  I  will  go  on  ahead  and  send  for  you  and  the 
children." 

Nothing  more  was  said  that  night  about  the  mat- 
ter, and  on  the  following  day  he  asked  me  for  three 
dollars  to  pay  old  man  Levi  for  a  coat  he  had  pur- 
chased before  going  to  Bluefield.  I  gave  my  husband 
the  amount  he  had  called  for,  thinking  that  he  in- 
tended paying  the  debt,  but  I  afterwards  learned  that 
he  never  went  near  Mr.  Levi's  place  of  business. 
What  became  of  the  money  I  do  not  know.  I  suppose 
it  was  spent  for  opium  and  bromo-seltzer. 

During  John's  stay  in  the  city  he  was  seen  fre- 
quenting his  old  haunts  again,  and  each  time  he  re- 
turned to  our  room  he  would  question  me  very  closely 
as  to  the  amount  of  money  I  had  in  bank.  I  told  him 
$35  was  every  cent  I  had,  but  that  he  should  share  it 
as  long  as  it  lasted,  just  so  he  would  try  to  do  half- 
way right  and  find  employment  here  if  possible.  I 
could  see  that  he  had  no  idea  of  doing  so,  but  was 
making  other  arrangements  as  the  days  passed  on, 
and  on  Saturday  morning  before  taking'his  departure 
he  called  for  |2.  I  gave  it  to  him,  and  he  promised 
to  be  back  to  an  early  dinner.  After  giving  him  the 
amount  he  desired,  I  noticed  that  he  was  laughing  to 
himself,  so  I  said : 

"I  suppose  you  intend  fooling  me,  and  only  made 
the  promise  in  order  to  get  the  money." 

He  kissed  me,  as  usual,  and  said : 


158  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

"No,  I  did  nothing  of  the  kind,  and  will  be  home 
by  12,  or  before." 

He  then  left  the  Hardy  House  and  did  not  return 
until  10.30  that  evening.  On  doing  so,  he  called  for 
money  enough  to  get  a  shave.  I  asked  him  what  in 
all  the  world  had  become  of  the  money  I  had  given 
him  on  leaving  home.  He  then  began  cursing  me  for 
the  first  time  since  our  arrival,  and  said  that  the 
money  had  been  spent,  and  he  wanted  more,  and  that 
in  a  hurry.  I  told  him  I  would  give  him  a  dollar  if 
he  would  promise  to  have  his  moustache  shaved  off, 
as  I  did  not  admire  his  looks  with  it  on. 

He  said,  "No.  I  am  growing  my  moustache  for  a 
purpose,  therefore,  it  will  remain  just  as  it  is,  whether 
you  like  it  or  not."  He  fairly  snatched  the  dollar 
from  my  hand  and  left  the  room  in  a  terrible  rage. 

Before  retiring  I  placed  his  laundry  and  bath  water 
in  readiness,  so  that  he  should  have  nothing  to  com- 
plain of  on  his  return.  About  2  a.  m.  he  made  his 
appearance  in  the  same  state  that  he  left  in,  and  on 
Sunday  morning  refused  to  accompany  me  to  church, 
but  finally  did  so.  On  our  return  home  he  told  me 
that  he  was  going  out  for  a  little  stroll  and  would  be 
back  in  time  for  he  and  I  to  take  one  later  in  the 
evening.  During  his  absence  I  whiled  away  the 
hours  by  reading  and  writing  a  letter  to  my  friend, 
Mrs.  Dr.  Jones.  I  was  in  the  act  of  sealing  my  mis- 
sive when  John  entered  our  apartments,  looking  very 
much  distressed  over  something,  so  I  said : 

"I  don't  believe  I  care  about  going  out  for  a  walk, 
as  I  am  not  feeling  well !" 

He  told  me  to  get  my  hat  and  we  would  take  a 
short  stroll  at  any  rate.  I  did  as  he  requested  me, 
and  we  walked  up  street  as  far  as  the  Methodist  Epis- 
copal church.     On  our  way  back  we  met  the  Cincin- 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  159 

nati  girl.  She  and  John  seemed  to  recognize  each 
other  at  once.  I  suppose  they  had  been  companions 
a  few  hours  before.  After  passing  the  woman  my 
husband  asked  me  whether  I  remembered  her.  I  told 
him  I  did,  and  thought  I  had  a  cause  for  doing  so. 

On  reaching  our  boarding-house  we  found  supper 
waiting  us,  and  after  doing  justice  to  the  viands 
placed  before  us,  we  repaired  to  the  parlor  a  few  mo- 
ments, then  to  our  own  apartments,  where  John  be- 
gan stroking  my  hair  and  declaring  that  I  was  en- 
tirely too  good  for  him;  he  said  he  did  not  feel  that 
he  was  worthy  of  me  in  the  least.  Presently  he  be- 
gan walking  the  full  length  of  the  room,  then  came 
up  to  where  I  was  sitting  and  said : 

"Ida,  you  have  always  thought  your  surmise  in 
regard  to  the  Park  Avenue  affair  was  correct,  and  I 
am  now  going  to  tell  you  that  it  was.  The  Bluefield 
matter  was  also  true,  but  you  need  not  cry  nor  worry 
about  it.  What's  already  done  can't  be  undone,  so 
let's  retire  and  forget  all  as  soon  as  possible." 

I  could  not  utter  a  sound,  but  thought — forget  all ! 
— how  could  I?  And  wondering  how  he,  the  vile 
wretch,  could  do  so  after  wounding  mv  feelings  as  he 
had. 

On  Monday  morning  John  arose  early  and  wanted 
to  know  whether  I  had  rested  well  during  the  night. 
I  told  him  that  I  had  slept  but  little,  and  never  ex- 
pected to  sleep  soundly  again. 


160  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 


CHAPTER  XII. 

JOHN  AT  LAST   DESERTS   ME. 

Monday  and  Tuesday  he  spent  most  of  his  time 
away  from  home. 

About  5  o'clock  on  Tuesday  evening  he  entered  our 
room  with  his  face  looking  very  red  and  swollen,  as 
if  he  had  been  drinking  or  weeping — I  think  the  lat- 
ter, as  I  detected  no  signs  of  drink.  I  suppose  within 
him  he  had  been  fighting  a  great  battle,  trying  to 
decide  upon  which  course  to  pursue.  Whether  to  lis- 
ten to  his  father  and  desert  his  innocent  wife  and  chil- 
dren, or  whether  to  do  his  duty  by  remaining  with 
and  caring  for  them  as  a  husband  and  father  should. 

And,  now  that  he  had  decided  upon  the  former,  the 
traces  were  still  visible  upon  his  face.  He  appeared 
to  be  very  restless,  and  asked  whether  supper  was 
ready.  I  told  him  I  guessed  not,  or  would  have  heard 
the  bell.  After  the  evening  meal  was  over  my  hus- 
band insisted  upon  retiring  immediately,  as  he  was 
suffering  with  a  severe  headache.  I  offered  to  bathe 
his  head  in  camphor,  but  this  he  refused  me,  and 
again  told  me  that  I  was  too  good  for  him. 

It  was  not  long  after  I  had  retired  before  I  was 
asleep  and  dreaming  of  a  murder  being  committed  in 
the  room,  and  of  the  murderer  trying  to  make  his 
escape  by  way  of  the  window.  I  awoke  at  once  and 
beheld  John  standing  by  the  mantel  with  an  open 
knife  in  his  hand.  He  ran  his  thumb  along  the  sharp 
edge,  then  drew  back  as  though  in  the  act  of  sending 
the  fatal  blow  home  to  his  victim's  heart.  After  this 
he  walked  over  to  the  window  and  stood  looking 
downward.     I  suppose  he  was  measuring  the  distance 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  161 

from  there  to  the  ground  below.  As  I  lay  watching 
him,  I  imagined  I  could  feel  the  cold  steel  as  it 
pierced  my  heart !  Oh,  what  was  I  to  do?  Presently 
my  husband  left  the  window  and  returned  to  the  man- 
tel, and  as  he  did  so  I  heard  him  say— 

"I  wonder  what  time  it  is?" 

Just  then  Basil  called  for  water.  His  doing  so  in- 
terfered with  John's  intentions,  and  my  life  was 
spared  once  more. 

I  asked  my  husband  why  he  was  not  in  bed  asleep, 
as  he  had  been  so  anxious  to  retire.  He  told  me  that 
his  head  was  hurting  him,  and  that  he  felt  better 
sitting  up.  And  the  villain  deserted  me  without 
knowing  that  I  had  been  an  eye-witness  to  his  ma- 
noeuvres on  the  previous  night. 

On  Wednesday  morning  my  husband  arose  at  7 
o'clock  in  a  nervous  condition,  and,  after  eating- 
breakfast,  asked  me  for  $10.  He  told  me  that  he  had 
rented  a  house  from  W.  E.  Franklin,  and  would  be 
compelled  to  pay  the  first  month's  rent  in  advance. 

I  said,  "Well,  I  would  like  to  take  a  look  at  the 
place  before  paying  for  it,  and,  if  you  have  no  objec- 
tions, we  will  walk  out  in  that  direction  after  awhile." 

He  told  me  that  he  had  other  business  to  attend  to, 
therefore  could  not  accompany  me  just  then,  but 
would  do  so  in  the  afternoon,  and  I  should  be  ready 
by  1  o'clock. 

Before  leaving  our  room  he  pressed  me  to  his  bosom 
and  kissed  me  twice,  then  looked  me  straight  in  the 
face  and  said : 

"Old  John  loves  his  little  girl  more  than  life  itself !" 

He  must  have  possessed  a  heart  of  adamant,  or  he 
could  not  have  done  this — knowing  as  he  did  this, 
that  he  was  deserting  me  at  the  time. 

6 


162  MY   OWN   LIFE,  OR 

Ah,  well!  his  day  of  suffering  is  yet  to  come,  as 
God  never  allows  the  wicked  to  go  unpunished. 

John  knew  that  I  took  grief  to  heart,  and  I  sup- 
pose he  thought  that  in  a  few  days  I  would  be  in  my 
grave,  then  he  would  be  a  free  man  once  more,  so 
far  as  having  a  wife  was  concerned.  But  his  con- 
science— what  of  that?  He  had  none,  or  he  would 
have  made  some  provision  for  his  hapless  children, 
instead  of  leaving  them  to  the  mercies  of  this  cruel 
world.  Now,  they  must  grow  up  uneducated,  and, 
perhaps,  come  to  some  bad  end  on  account  of  it. 

That  morning  after  John  had  left  me,  I  again  had 
a  presentment  that  something  terrible  was  going  to 
happen.  However,  I  endeavored  to  while  away  the 
hours  by  writing  to  a  friend  of  mine  in  Roanoke. 
Finally,  I  became  restless,  and  abandoned  the  idea  of 
letter  writing  entirely. 

As  the  dinner  hour  approached,  I  made  prepara- 
tions for  it,  and  also  for  accompanying  my  husband 
in  order  to  inspect  the  house  he  intended  renting.  I 
waited  for  him  until  half-past  1,  then,  when  he  failed 
to  make  his  appearance,  I  ate  my  dinner  alone.  On 
entering  the  dining-room  someone  remarked  that  Mr. 
Beard  had  gone  to  Lynchburg  to  accept  a  position. 

I  said,  "Oh,  I  guess  not;  or  at  least  I  know  noth- 
ing about  his  going." 

This  was  all  that  was  said  about  the  matter,  and 
after  I  had  finished  eating,  informed  Mrs.  Hardy  that 
I  had  an  engagement  with  the  dentist,  therefore  I 
would  go  to  his  office  at  once,  and  that  if  Mr.  Beard 
came,  please  tell  him  to  wait  for  me  at  the  house,  as 
I  would  return  in  about  an  hour. 

At  the  dentist's  office  I  met  a  young  gentleman, 
who  said : 

"Mrs.  Beard,  I  suppose  you  are  a  widow  now!     1 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  163 

bid  John  goodbye  when  he  left  this  morning.  He 
told  me  that  he  was  going  to  Burlington  to  take 
charge  of  a  drug  store." 

I  looked  at  the  young  man  in  a  bewildered  way, 
and  said : 

"What  do  you  all  mean  by  trying  to  lead  me  to 
believe  that  John  has  left  the  city?  I  know  that  he 
has  done  nothing  of  the  kind !  Surely,  he  would  not 
have  left  without  saying  a  word  to  me!" 

On  returning  to  my  boarding  house,  I  learned  that 
John  had  not  been  to  dinner.  I  wondered  at  his 
absence,  but  still  thought  perhaps  he  had  gone  home 
with  his  father. 

That  evening  at  the  supper  table,  Mr.  Newton 
Fletcher  informed  me  that  I  would  receive  a  letter 
from  my  husband  on  the  following  morning,  as  he 
was  seen  addressing  one  to  me  before  leaving  the  sta- 
tion. Mr.  Fletcher  also  told  me  that  a  young  gentle- 
man asked  John  why  he  was  leaving  without  my 
knowing  it,  and  he  said : 

"Oh,  well,  she  always  cries,  and  I  did  not  care  to 
remember  her  in  tears." 

I  suppose  he  thought  my  tears  might  soften  his 
hard  heart  at  the  last  moment,  and  he  would  be  com- 
pelled to  remain,  although  against  his  father's  wishes. 

However,  he  will  always  have  the  pleasure  of  re- 
membering me  as  I  stood  at  the  window,  smiling  and 
waving  my  handkerchief  in  his  direction. 

The  night  after  John's  departure  was  a  stormy  one, 
and  in  keeping  with  my  thoughts.  I  did  not  weep 
on  account  of  his  deserting  me,  but  for  the  children's 
sake.  I  wondered  what  would  become  of  them, 
knowing  that  in  my  frail  condition  I  would  be  unable 
to  make  a  support  for  them.  I  said  to  myself,  how 
could  the  author  of  their  being  leave  them  to  perish 
upon  the  streets  of  the  city?     What  cause  had  he  for 


164  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

doing  so?  It  was  his  duty  to  have  carried  them  with 
him  or  provided  for  them  elsewhere,  and  none  but  a 
heartless  parent  would  have  done  as  he  did. 

After  remaining  awake  all  night,  I  arose  early  and 
went  down  to  the  parlor,  where  I  anxiously  awaited 
the  arrival  of  the  postman.  Presently  he  came,  bear- 
ing in  his  hand  a  yellow-looking  letter.  At  first  I 
thought  it  was  a  telegram,  and  wondered  why  the 
postman  was  the  bearer.  On  breaking  the  seal,  my 
eyes  rested  upon  these  words : 

Winston  Station,  March  18th,  1896. 
My  Darling  Mamma : 

Don't  be  worried  at  my  leaving,  for  I  am  obliged  to  go  somewhere 
where  I  can  get  something  to  do  ;  besides  they  are  fixing  to  get  me 
in  trouble  in  Winston,  and  I  must  go  where  I  can  be  a  white  man. 
Now,  mamma,  take  it  calmly.  You  know  I  love  you,  and  just  as 
soon  as  I  get  something  to  do  I  will  let  you  know  and  send  for  you. 
I  think  I  will  go  from  here  to  Lynchburg  to  try  and  get  a  position  in 
an  auction  house.  I  will  let  you  hear  from  me  as  soon  as  I  stop. 
Now,  don't  cry,  nor  bother,  for  I  am  sure  to  find  a  job  at  something, 
and  you  know  I  can't  find  one  here.  The  reason  I  didn't  let  you 
know  was  because  I  was  afraid  you  wouldn't  let  me  go. 

Be  a  good  girl  and  bear  up  manfully      You  will  be  able  to  live 
longer  on  what  you  have  alone  than  you  could  with  me  there  help- 
ing you  eat  it  up.     Let  Robah  get  to  work  as  soon  as  possible,  and 
do  the  best  you  can  until  I  can  make  something. 
Your  affectionate  old  boy, 

J.  L.  Beard. 

I  thought  to  myself,  "live  longer  on  what  you 
have!"  What  had  I?  One  week's  board,  and  then 
my  money  would  all  be  gone,  and  I,  with  two  chil- 
dren, turned  out  upon  the  streets  to  perish.  I  asked 
the  advice  of  my  friends  as  to  what  I  should  do,  and 
they  advised  me  to  remain  where  I  was  until  the  end 
of  the  week,  as  they  were  almost  certain  I  would  hear 
from  John  by  that  time.  I  told  them  I  never  expected 
to  hear  from  him  again — or,  at  least,  not  soon. 

Not  knowing  what  to  do,  I  remained  with  Mrs. 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  165 

Hardy  until  the  following  week,  and  by  this  time  I 
only  had  §2  left.  I  looked  at  the  children  as  they  lay 
asleep,  and  thought,  it's  well  they  do  not  know  what 
the  future  has  in  store  for  them.  At  first  everyone 
predicted  that  I  would  desert  the  children,  as  their 
father  had  done.     But  I  said : 

"No !  They  are  my  own  flesh  and  blood,  and  I  will 
cling  to  them,  and  if  starvation  comes,  we  will  share 
it  together!" 

So  I  made  up  my  mind  that  I  would  go  in  search 
of  a  room.  Just  before  starting  out  someone  rapped 
upon  the  door.  On  opening  it  I  once  more  beheld  a 
madstone  patient  standing  before  me.  He  paid  me 
|5  in  advance,  and  I  applied  the  stone.  After  he  had 
taken  his  departure  I  set  out  room  hunting  in  a  little 
better  heart,  as  I  then  had  $7  instead  of  $2.  Which 
way  to  go  I  didn't  know,  but  finally  decided  on  tak- 
ing a  look  at  the  rooms  that  were  to  let  in  the  Star- 
buck  block.  I  found  them  very  convenient  and  the 
"rent  reasonable;  so  I  paid  $3  in  advance  for  one 
month,  and  took  possession  the  following  day.  Well, 
now,  I  had  secured  the  rooms,  but  how  was  I  to  fur- 
nish them?  I  had  nothing,  not  even  a  pillow,  to 
begin  with.  However.  I  made  up  my  mind  to  do  the 
best  I  could,  and,  perhaps  there  would  be  a  way  pro- 
vided by  which  I  would  be  able  to  obtain  a  few  pieces 
of  furniture.  While  engaged  in  scrubbing  the  floors 
of  my  new  apartments,  I  heard  footsteps,  and  on  look- 
ing up,  I  beheld,  standing  in  the  doorway,  A.  H. 
Eller,  a  rising  young  lawyer  of  our  city.  After  ad- 
dressing me  in  a  very  polite  manner,  he  asked  whether 
I  had  furniture  to  place  in  the  rooms  I  was  cleaning. 

I  said,  "No,  sir ;  I  haven't  a  piece,  unless  father 
opens  his  heart  and  sends  me  something  from  home." 

Mr.  Eller  then  said,  "Well,  Mrs.  Beard,  you  have 


166  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

my  entire  sympathy,  and  if  I  can  assist  you  in  any 
way,  will  do  so  with  pleasure." 

With  my  eyes  filled  with  tears,  I  thanked  him  for 
his  kindness.  He  bade  me  good  morning,  and  turned 
as  if  in  the  act  of  leaving  the  building,  but  came  back 
to  say  that  as  he  was  preparing  to  move  into  his  new 
quarters  in  a  few  days,  he  would  have  a  piece  of  mat- 
ting which  he  would  not  need,  therefore  if  I  would 
accept  it,  I  would  be  perfectly  welcome  to  it.  I  told 
him  that  I  couldn't  bear  the  idea  of  his  making  me  a 
present  of  the  matting,  so  would  offer  him  some 
literature  I  had  in  return.  He  glanced  at  the  books 
and  said : 

"Yes ;  I  would  appreciate  them  very  much,  but  still 
I  hate  to  take  them  from  you." 

I  insisted  on  his  doing  so,  as  I  had  read  the  books 
and  only  kept  them  for  future  reference. 

Now  I  had  the  promise  of  a  covering  for  my  floor, 
and  this  was  a  beginning  towards  housekeeping. 
Presently  father  came  and  told  me  that  I  might  have 
a  few  things  from  home  if  I  would  send  for  them. 
So  I  called  to  a  drayman  who  happened  to  be  pass- 
ing, and  told  him  that  I  would  need  his  services  that 
afternoon,  and  that  he  should  have  his  dray  at  my 
father's  residence  about  2  o'clock. 

Such  a  time  as  I  had  in  obtaining  the  things  father 
had  offered  me !  Mrs.  Crumpler  forbade  the  drayman 
going  upstairs  after  them,  and  declared  that  she 
would  split  each  piece  into  splinters  with  her  hatchet 
as  they  were  brought  down !  It  was  a  scene  long  to 
be  remembered.  There  I  stood  in  one  doorway,  Sister 
Nell  in  another  with  broomstick  in  her  hand,  and  our 
stepmother  standing  at  the  entrance  of  her  boudoir 
clasping  a  hatchet,  while  father  occupied  the  center 
of  the  hall  with  a  paint  bucket  in  his  hand,  and  say- 
ing— 


A  DESERTED  WIPE.  167 

"Well,  1  am  sure  Ida  has  a  right  to  a  few  pieces  of 
her  own  mother's  furniture." 

Then  sister  spoke  up  and  said : 

"Yes,  and  she  shall  have  them,  too;  so  walk  up, 
mister,  walk  up;  don't  be  afraid  of  that  old  woman 
over  there."  With  these  remarks,  Nell  mounted  the 
stairs  and  began  throwing  things  right  and  left  in  the 
room  above.  Finally  she  called  the  drayman  to  come 
ahead  and  carry  down  what  she  intended  me  to  have, 
and  father  accompanied  the  boy  —  leaving  Mrs. 
Grumpier  and  I  alone.  We  gazed  at  each  other  for  a 
moment,  then  she  began  calling  me  by  all.  manner  of 
names  she  could  think  of;  said  I  was  a  beggar,  and 
had  better  leave  the  house  at  once  if  I  knew  what 
was  good  for  me ! 

I  said,  "Madam,  I  am  aware  of  the  fact  that  my 
father  reigns  here  yet  awhile;  therefore,  will  remain 
as  long  as  I  please;  and,  furthermore,  I  want  you  to 
distinctly  understand  that  I  am  one  of  the  birdies  of 
the  old  nest,  who  expects  to  fly  in  and  out  whenever 
she  gets  ready." 

By  this  time  the  furniture  was  nearing  the  lower 
step ;  so  my  stepmother  ran  to  the  bureau,  and,  after 
snatching  the  key,  exclaimed: 

"Well,  I  guess  Ida  Beard  will  leave  off  locking  up 
her  valuables  with  this!" 

She  then  returned  to  her  post,  and,  amid  broom- 
stick, hatchet  and  paint  bucket,  the  things  at  last 
reached  the  dray.    * 

Among  the  things  that  father  had  given  me  was 
the  old  parlor  suit — the  one  used  by  me  when  a  young 
lady  at  home.  I  appreciated  these  pieces  of  furniture 
very  much ;  and  that  night,  as  Basil  lay  asleep  on  the 
settee,  I  recalled  to  mind  the  many  happy  moments 
I  had  spent  in  years  gone  by,  when  my  life  seemed  a 


168  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

lovely  flower  just  beginning  to  bloom.  Little  did  I 
think  in  those  days  that  the  rose  would  be  plucked 
by  a  careless  passer-by,  then  trampled  upon,  and  left 
to  die,  long  before  its  time. 

I  shall  never  forget  the  first  night  I  spent  in  the  Star- 
buck  block.  It  was  a  pitiable  sight  to  see  my  two 
children  and  I  huddled  together  in  that  cold,  bare 
room.  We  had  nothing  with  which  to  build  a  fire; 
neither  had  we  a  light,  save  that  of  the  moon.  I 
made  the  children  as  comfortable  as  possible,  and 
they  were  soon  asleep.  After  they  had  been  slumber- 
ing for  some  time,  J  began  walking  the  floor  in  order 
to  keep  warm,  and  also  wondering  what  I  should  do 
to  earn  a  livelihood.  Then,  all  at  once,  the  thought 
occurred  to  me  that  I  wrote  a  pretty  fair  hand,  and 
why  not  try  something  along  this  line?  So,  on  the 
following  morning,  after  I  had  purchased,  on  time,  a 
cheap  bedstead  and  mattress,  I  called  upon  W.  B. 
Ellis  at  his  factory,  and  asked  whether  he  had  any- 
thing for  a  lady  to  do  in  the  way  of  addressing  enve- 
lopes. 

The  wealthy  tobacco  manufacturer  looked  at  me 
and  said,  "Well,  Mrs.  Beard,  there's  nothing  at  pres- 
ent, as  business  has  been  very  dull  for  some  time,  and 
I  have  been  compelled  to  do  away  with  the  extensive 
advertising  I  did. in  former  years.  However,  if  times 
get  better,  and  I  see  that  I  can  give  you  employment, 
will  do  so  with  pleasure." 

I  thanked  him  and  left  the  office — not  discouraged, 
as  most  women  would  have  been,  but  more  deter- 
mined than  ever  to  obtain  work  if  it  could  be  found. 

On  my  way  back  up  street,  I  called  upon  the  differ- 
ent merchants  of  the  city,  thinking,  perhaps,  some  of 
them  would  have  a  vacancy  to  be  filled;  but  there 
was  none.  I  returned  to  my  rooms  tired  and  hungry, 
but  still  possessing  a  brave  heart. 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  169 

I  said,  "This  is  only  my  first  attempt  at  seeking 
employment ;  therefore,  shall  try  again ;  and  if  I  fail, 
will  try  once  more." 

At  this  moment  I  thought  of  a  song  I  used  to  sing, 
and,  after  brushing  the  tears  from  my  eyes,  I  arose 
to  prepare  our  frugal  meal ;  then  I  heard  footsteps  on 
the  stairs.  At  first  I  made  sure  it  was  the  children 
coming;  but,  instead,  it  proved  to  be  a  waiter  from 
the  Hardy  House,  bearing  a  tray  filled  with  delicious 
viands,  sent  me  by  the  landlady;  so  there  was  no 
need  for  me  preparing  more.  And  that  same  evening 
I  received  from  Hotel  Jones  a  week's  provisions. 

I  said,  "Well,  I  have  friends  left,  at  any  rate." 

On  the  following  Saturday,  my  aunt,  Lusetta  Stew- 
art, brought  in  from  the  country  necessary  bedding 
for  the  children  and  I. 

So,  in  this  way,  we  began  our  housekeeping. 

After  I  had  made  a  thorough  canvass  of  the  city  in 
order  to  obtain  employment,  I  at  last  decided  upon 
opening  np  a  boarding  house;  but  how  was  I  to  be- 
gin, with  nothing?  I  studied  over  the  matter  for  a 
day  or  two,  then  concluded  to  make  the  attempt,  fail 
or  succeed — one  or  the  other  I  was  sure  to  do.  I 
knew  that  unless  I  did  something  in  the  way  of  earn- 
ing a  support  for  myself,  friends  would  soon  tire  of 
supplying  me  with  the  necessaries  of  life. 

Before  beginning  to  keep  boarders.  Sister  Nell  was 
very  kind  to  me  indeed.  At  nightfall  she  would  come 
to  my  rooms,  bringing  with  her  food  and  fuel.  On 
entering,  she  would  always  say: 

"Here,  Ida.  take  the  things  and  let  me  go.  I  know 
T  ought  not  to  come,  but  still  I  couldn't  bear  the  idea 
of  you  and  the  children  being  cold  and  hungry  this 
near  home." 

Sometimes  she  remained  with   us   ten  or  fifteen 


170  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

minutes,  then  away  she  would  go,  leaving  me  to  won- 
der why  it  was  that  mother  was  called  Home  just  at 
the  time  her  child  needed  her  influence  most. 

Sometimes  I  almost  felt  as  though  I  could  tear  my 
eyeballs  from  their  sockets,  when  I  compared  the 
present  with  the  past. 

While  in  this  state  of  mind,  I  began  keeping  board- 
ers. 

I  Avill  always  remember  the  first  table  I  spread  for 
the  boarders.  It  was  really  amusing  to  see  me  arrang- 
ing viands  and  the  few  pieces  of  ware  aunt  had  given 
me.  I  was  so  afraid  that  something  would  be  wrong, 
and  that  it  wouldn't  seem  like  a  boarding  house.  I 
prepared  for  my  boarders  as  though  they  were  guests 
coming  to  tea,  and  on  leaving  the  dining  room,  they 
each  declared  themselves  highly  pleased  with  their 
first  meal. 

In  the  center  of  the  table  I  had  placed  a  lovely  pyra- 
mid of  flowers;  the  napkins  were  arranged  in  the 
shape  of  a  lily,  and  the  viands  consisted  of  fried 
chicken,  fresh  butter,  pickles,  honey,  banana  cake, 
strawberries  and  cream,  lightbread,  milk,  and  tea. 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  171 

CHAPTER  XIII. 

FRIENDS  AND  FOES  ALL  ALIKE  IN  A  LIFETIME. 

I  was  just  beginning  with  this  new  enterprise  when 
Robah,  my  eldest  son,  was  stricken  down  with  a 
severe  case  of  typhoid  fever.  He  lay  at  death's  door 
for  fourteen  weeks. 

During  this  time  I  received  a  letter  from  my  hus- 
band— the  first  he  had  written  me  since  his  departure. 
He  was  then  in  Cincinnati,  Ohio,  and  was  soon  to 
leave  for  Charlestown,  W.  Ya.  His  letter  was  filled 
with  the  most  endearing  words  anvone  ever  read.  He 
declared  that  he  would  return  to  me  if  he  was  forced 
to  walk  every  step  of  the  way  home,  and  ended  by 
saying  that  I  was  the  one  woman  on  earth  for  him, 
and  oh,  how  he  longed  to  clasp  me  to  his  bosom  and 
kiss  me  as  of  yore. 

At  first  I  made  up  my  mind  that  I  would  pay  no 
attention  to  this  missive ;  then  I  said,  "No,  the  author 
of  it  is  the  father  of  my  children,  and  it's  his  duty  to 
assist  in  rearing  them.'''  So  I  answered  John's  letter, 
informing  him  of  Robah's  illness  and  of  our  destitute 
condition.  I  told  him  to  come  at  once,  or  send  money 
to  purchase  medicine  for  our  dying  child. 

After  this,  letters  came  daily,  but  not  a  cent  accom- 
panied them.  My  husband  would  always  say  that  he 
intended  sending  money  soon,  and  that,  if  Robah  died, 
do  the  best  I  could. 

One  evening  I  was  told  that  my  child  could  not 
possibly  survive  through  the  night.  So  I  wired  his 
father,  and  he  refused  to  accept  the  telegram. 

On  the  following  day  the  messenger  here  at  home 
handed  me  the  message  they  had  received  from  the 
office  in  Charlestown.     These  were  the  contents : 


172  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 


I  stood  gazing  at  the  messenger,  and  wondered  how 
a  father  could  refuse  to  accept  a  message  from  home, 
when  he  was  expecting  to  hear  of  his  child's  death  at 
any  moment. 

In  a  day  or  two  after  this  I  received  a  few  lines 
from  John,  saying,  "I  guess  you  were  surprised  at 
my  refusing  to  accept  the  telegram;  the  messenger 
was  kind  enough  to  tell  me  that  Robah  wasn't  dead, 
so  I  thought  it  of  no  use  to  spend  money  unnecessa- 
rily." 

He  also  said  that  he  didn't  see  why  my  children 
should  suffer,  when  I  had  quite  a  number  of  wealthy 
relatives  in  the  city.  I  answered  his  letter  immedi- 
ately, and  told  him  that  my  wealthy  relatives  didn't 
propose  taking  care  of  John  Beard's  offspring,  when 
they  had  a  strong  and  healthy  father  to  work  for 
them. 

Robah's  illness  now  seems  as  though  it  was  a 
dream.  When  he  was  first  taken,  my  friends  came 
to  me  and  said : 

"Mrs.  Beard,  you  will  be  compelled  to  send  your 
child  to  the  hospital,  as  you  are  too  frail  to  wait  upon 
him;  and,  besides,  you  have  never  nursed  a  case  of 
typhoid  fever  in  your  life." 

I  said,  "I  can  do  what  others  have  done,  therefore 
my  child  shall  remain  with  me,  and  if  it's  God's  will 
to  take  him,  I  will  have  the  pleasure  of  knowing  that 
I  did  all  I  could  for  him  until  the  last." 

I  was  forced  to  close  the  doors  of  my  boarding 
house,  in  order  to  give  Robah  the  attention  he  re- 
quired. He  would  allow  no  one  but  me  to  wait  upon 
him,  so  my  task  was  a  hard  one.  And  had  it  not  been 
for  the  nourishing  food  sent  me  by  relatives  and 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  173 

friends,  I,  too,  would  have  fallen 'a  victim  to  the  ter- 
rible disease. 

The  day  Eobah  was  stricken  down,  Dr.  Gray  in- 
formed me  that  I  had  six  weeks  of  constant  watching 
before  me.  The  moment  he  told  me  this,  I  burst  out 
crying,  and  said : 

""Oh,  how  am  I  to  pass  through  it  all  without  help 
or  a  cent  of  money?" 

Then  the  kind-hearted  physician  placed  his  hand 
upon  my  arm,  and  said : 

"Mrs.  Beard,  you  have,  borne  your  troubles  bravely 
so  far;  don't  give  up  now;  I  will  be  with  you,  and 
your  child  shall  not  want  for  attention.  I  will  do  all 
I  possibly  can  in  order  to  save  him." 

Just  then  the  door  bell  rang,  and  on  answering  it, 
I  beheld  an  old  gentleman  and  his  grandchild  in  quest 
of  the  ever-ready  madstone.  I  invited  the  j)arties  in 
and  requested  them  to  be  seated  until  I  could  wait 
upon  them ;  then  ran  back  to  the  room,  and  informed 
Dr.  Gray  of  my  good  luck. 

He  said,  "Well,  I  knew  the  Lord  would  help  you; 
so  go  and  attend  to  your  patient  while  I  attend  to 
mine."  i 

I  brushed  away  the  tears  that  were  still  flowing 
from  my  eyes,  then  flew  to  apply  the  stone.  Before 
doing  so,  the  old  gentleman  paid  me  $5  in  advance, 
and  I  felt  as  wealthy  as  J.  Gould  himself,  or,  at  least, 
I  knew  that  I  would  be  able  to  purchase  something 
for  my  suffering  child. 

His  illness  will  long  be  remembered  by  those  who 
visited  him,  and  I  am  sure  that  I  will  never  forget 
my  trying  time.  I  not  only  had  Robah's  illness  to 
contend  with,  but  many  other  things  as  well.  One 
part  of  the  building  was  occupied  by  people  with 
whom  I  didn't  care  to  associate,  and  they  did  every- 


174  .         MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

thing  imaginable  to  worry  me.  One  woman  bearing 
the  name  of  Holish  would  bring  her  tin  pan  to  my 
door  and  beat  upon  it  with  all  her  might.  Twice  I 
was  forced  to  call  in  an  officer  in  order  to  quell  the 
racket.  The  Holish  woman  had  a  companion  by  the 
name  of  Phillips;  she  would  dash  water  in  my  face 
and  over  my  clothing  whenever  I  passed  through  the 
hall,  then  call  me  all  kinds  of  vile  names. 

At  first  I  thought  I  would  resent  the  insults,  then 
I  said,  No,  I  am  far  these  people's  superior,  and  why 
should  I  stoop  to  parley  with  them,  when  I  know  that 
my  good  name  will  still  live  long,  long  after  they 
have  passed  away. 

There  were  also  several  young  gentlemen  occupy- 
ing rooms  in  the  same  building,  and,  through  kind- 
ness, offered  to  assist  in  nursing  Robah.  One  young 
man,  seeing  my  destitute  condition,  offered  to  loan 
me  his  lounge;  but  owing  to  the  circumstances,  I  re- 
fused them  all;  however,  I  thanked  the  gentlemen, 
and  told  them  that  I  hoped  they  would  understand 
my  position,  and  why  I  refused  their  kind  offer. 

The  women  across  the  hall  overheard  our  conversa- 
tion, and,  instead  of  repeating  it  as  it  was  spoken,  they 
circulated  the  report  that  the  young  men  of  the  city 
were  paying  my  rent  and  supplying  the  children  and 
I  with  food. 

I  paid  no  attention  to  all  this  idle  prattle,  more 
than  I  thought,  well,  there's  one  consolation,  and 
that  is  that  the  villain  to  whom  I  gave  my  young  life 
will  have  this  to  answer  for,  on  account  of  leaving 
me  to  be  trampled  upon  as  he  has  done. 

Among  other  things  I  had  to  contend  with,  was  a 
notice  from  Mrs.  E.  Starbuck,  requesting  me  to  vacate 
her  premises  unless  I  could  pay  my  rent  promptly. 

Owing  to  Eobah's  illness,  I  had  failed  to  pay  as  I 
would  have  done  otherwise. 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  175 

After  leaving  the  Starbuek  block,  the  report 
reached  my  ear  that  I  had  been  asked  to  vacate  on 
account  of  charges  against  my  personal  character. 

Of  course  I  was  very  much  wrought  up  over  the 
affair,  so  wrote  Mrs.  E.  Starbuek  at  once  in  regard  to 
the  above  report. 

The  reply  that  I  received  to  my  note  ran  as  follows  : 

Winston,  N.  C,  Feb.  7th,  1898. 
Mrs.  Ida  31.  Beard. 

Dear  Madam  : — Any  report  that  you  were  requested  to  leave  the 
Starbuek  block  on  account  of  charges  against  your  character  is  un- 
true. Respectfully,  Mrs.  E.  Starbuck. 

While  engaged  in  packing  preparatory  to  leaving 
the  Starbuck  block,  Mrs.  Holish  entered  my  kitchen 
and  began  dashing  water  over  me,  completely  ruining 
the  dress  I  wore.  After  finishing  her  baptism,  she 
brought  forth  her  tin  pan  and  began  beating  it  at  a 
terrible  rate,  saying  that  she  intended  giving  me  a 
farewell  serenade.  Mrs.  Holish  and  her  tin  pan  drew 
quite  a  crowd  around  the  door.  As  I  took  my  de- 
parture, she  asked  me  where  old  John  Beard  was.  I 
told  her  I  hadn't  the  least  idea,  but  supposed  that  he 
and  old  man  Holish  were  sailing  together  in  the  same 
boat  up  the  Ohio  River. 

On  leaving  the  Starbuck  block,  I  moved  to  a  little 
cottage  near  the  North  Winston  graded  school,  where 
I  only  remained  one  month,  while  waiting  for  another 
house  that  was  undergoing  repairs.  As  soon  as  it  was 
finished,  I  took  possession,  and  felt  that  I  was  begin- 
ning to  live  once  more. 

About  this  time  I  received  my  first  $5  from  John. 
He  wrote  me  that  I  ought  to  appreciate  the  money 
very  much,  as  he  had  deprived  himself  of  food  and 
clothing  in  order  to  send  me  the  above  amount. 


176  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

Right  after  this,  he  asked  me  to  send  him  his  silver- 
headed  cane,  as  he  missed  it  so  much  while  out  walk- 
ing in  the  parks  of  an  evening. 

I  answered  his  letter,  thanking  him  for  the  money 
he  had  sent,  and  told  him  if  he  was  in  the  condition 
he  said  he  was,  I  didn't  see  but  what  some  of  the 
shrubbery  in  the  parks  would  answer  his  purpose  just 
as  well,  or  at  least  he  would  be  compelled  to  do  with- 
out his  silver-headed  cane,  as  I  had  disposed  of  it  to 
purchase  bread  for  his  hungry  children. 

I  wonder  if  he  thought  I  would  believe  the  story 
he  had  written  about  his  destitute  condition.  I  am 
proud  to  say  that  I  am  not  the  fool  he  always  repre- 
sented me  to  be,  and  he  will  now  see  that  his  little 
fool  has  at  last  used  him  as  her  tool. 

My  husband  continued  to  send  me  $4  per  week 
from  the  latter  part  of  September,  1896,  until  Feb- 
ruary, 1897;  then,  all  at  once,  he  ceased,  saying  that 
he  was  out  of  employment,  and  that  I  should  try  to 
secure  him  a  job  here  if  possible.  So,  with  my  feet 
upon  the  bare  ground,  I  visited  the  different  tobacco 
factories,  and  finally  obtained  a  position  for  my  hus- 
band at  |75  per  month  and  expenses  paid.  I  wrote 
him  that  the  firm  wanted  him  here  at  once,  and  he 
had  better  come  on  the  next  train. 

After  waiting  a  week  or  more,  I  received  a  reply, 
saying  that  he  didn't  think  |75  enough,  and  unless 
the  firm  agreed  to  give  him  more,  he  would  remain 
Avhere  he  was,  as  he  was  expecting  something  better 
there  in  the  spring,  and  hoped  that  by  that  time  to 
place  me,  his  little  "darling,"  far  above  want. 

I  now  know  that,  instead  of  a  salary,  it  was  his 
lovely  bride  that  he  was  looking  forward  to.  Well, 
they  have  my  best  wishes  for  a  long  life  of  usefulness 
and  happiness — the  centennial's  own  words  to  John 
and  I  seventeen  years  ago. 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  177 

While  occupying  the  little  cottage  on  Liberty  street, 
I  was  compelled  to  undergo  many  hardships. 

Shortly  after  moving,  I  was  informed  of  my  Aunt 
Lusetta  Stewart's  sudden  death,  which  was  more  of 
a  shock  to  me  than  John's  desertion.  For  it  was  aunt 
who  came  to  me  in  my  first  hours  of  distress  and 
spoke  comforting  words,  saying: 

"Now,  Ida,  I  hope  you  will  not  grieve  for  the  vil- 
lain who  has  wrecked  your  life.  He  isn't  worth  a 
tear  from  your  eyes.  I  have  always  known  that  he 
wasn't  worthy  of  you,  but  still  I  said  nothing,  for  I 
knew  it  was  of  no  use  to  grieve  over  spilled  milk.  1 
want  you  to  do  the  very  best  you  can,  and  I  will  see 
that  you  do  not  perish !" 

I  can  almost  see  her  as  she  came  daily,  bringing 
with  her  something  for  mine  and  the  children's  com- 
fort, and  always  a  cheering  word  before  taking  her 
departure.  I  really  believe  that  she  grieved  more  over 
my  troubles  than  I  did  myself.  She  seemed  to  be  so 
afraid  I  would  at  last  sink  beneath  the  weight  I  bore. 
I  told  her  that  she  must  remember  that  I  had  inher- 
ited my  mother's  persevering  powers,  therefore  she 
need  have  no  fears  about  me  giving  up,  as  I  would 
struggle  on  and  on  until  the  end. 

After  my  aunt's  death,  I  concluded  to  fulfill  the 
dream  I  had  in  the  Starbuck  block.  So,  on  New 
Year's  eve,  1896,  I  began  a  brief  biographv  of  mv 
life. 

While  awaiting  Robah's  return  from  watch  meet- 
ing, I  sat  dozing  in  my  rocking  chair,  and  again 
dreamed  of  Cousin  Newton  Crumpler  entering  the 
room  and  presenting  me  with  a  pencil  and  tablet, 
telling  me  to  begin  my  work  with  the  new  year.  On 
opening  my  eyes,  I  noticed  a  tablet  lying  on  the  table ; 
so  began  writing,  and  continued  until  3  a.  m.,  then 


178  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

retired,  feeling  as  though  I  was  soon  to  accomplish  a 
great  feat. 

I  wrote  my  husband  in  regard  to  the  work  I  had  un- 
dertaken, and  I  could  see  by  the  tone  of  his  letters 
that  he  laughed  at  the  idea  of  me — his  little  fool — 
writing  a  book.  However,  he  wished  me  much  suc- 
cess, and  hoped  that  I  would  not  paint  him  the  dark 
villain  I  would  were  I  handling  someone  else! 

In  reply  to  his  letters,  I  gave  him  to  understand 
that  I  would  paint  him  in  his  true  colors,  and  noth- 
ing more.  So  far  you  see  how  I  have  handled  the 
brush.     The  finishing  touches  will  be  given  later  on. 

In  the  beginning  of  my  work,  friends  advised  me 
not  to  continue,  as  they  were  afraid  my  mind  would 
be  impaired  on  account  of  it ;  but  I  told  them  that  I 
intended  finishing  what  I  had  begun,  regardless  of 
all  their  predictions,  and  since  that  time  I  have  strug- 
gled on  under  many  difficulties.  Many,  many  pages 
have  been  written  by  the  glow  of  the  fire,  when  I 
was  too  poor  to  purchase  oil.  Often  have  I  gone  with- 
out food  in  order  to  obtain  material  upon  which  to 
indite  my  thoughts. 

Before  leaving  the  spot  I  had  fallen  deeply  in  love 
with,  I  became  involved  in  a  little  difficulty  with  an 
old  gentleman  by  the  name  of  Cox.  Of  him  I  had 
engaged  one  cord  of  seasoned  wood — not  a  stick  of 
any  other  kind  was  to  be  among  it;  so,  on  Saturday, 
February  6,  1896,  he  hauled  the  first  load,  and  prom- 
ised to  finish  the  deal  on  the  following  Monday  be- 
tween 10  and  11  o'clock.  I  waited  for  Mr.  Cox  until 
2  o'clock,  then,  when  he  failed  to  put  in  his  appear- 
ance, I  went  on  down  street  about  my  business.  I 
called  upon  J.  S.  Dunn,  paid  him  the  rent,  and  the 
next  place  I  visited  was  Bailey  Bros.'  factory,  in  order 
to  ascertain  whether  they  had  heard  from  Mr.  Beard, 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  179 

and  whether  he  intended  accepting  the  position  they 
had  offered  him.  On  returning  home,.  I  noticed  that 
Mr.  Cox  was  tossing  the  wood  back  over  the  fence, 
preparatory  to  hauling  it  away.  I  asked  him  what 
he  meant  by  doing  so,  and  he  said : 

"It  means  that  I  intend  to  have  my  wood.  You 
can't  get  it  for  nothing." 

I  told  him  I  full}7  intended  paying  him,  and  was 
read}'  to  do  so  then  if  he  had  hauled  the  wood  accord- 
ing to  contract.  On  examining  it,  I  found  that  over 
half  of  the  cord  was  green  instead  of  dry.  However, 
as  I  was  without  fuel,  I  told  him  I  would  take  it  and 
pay  him  for  it,  and  not  to  throw  another  stick  across 
the  fence.  He  paid  no  attention  to  me,  but  called  a 
negro  man  into  the  yard  to  assist  him  in  throwing 
out  the  wood.  While  engaged  in  his  work  he  asked 
me  where  John  Beard  was,  and  why  he  left.  I  told 
him  that  if  he  would  wait  until  I  had  time  to  unlock 
my  door  and  get  a  kettle  of  boiling  water,  I  would 
soon  show  him  why  John  Beard  left,  and  that  if  he 
insulted  me  again,  I  would  have  him  arrested  before  6 
o'clock  on  the  following  evening.  After  this  he  did 
not  tarry  long,  but  knocked  off  two  of  my  palings, 
and  out  he  went,  saying : 

"Well,  goodbye,  until  I  see  you  again." 

I  suppose  that  he  became  frightened  after  saying 
what  he  did,  and  thought  he  had  better  do  something 
in  order  to  protect  himself,  so  went  to  the  police  and 
told  them  that  I  cursed  him — a  thing  I  was  never 
guilty  of  in  all  my  life.  I  laughed  at  the  idea  of  even 
being  accused  of  such  an  offense. 

On  Tuesday  following  the  racket  with  the  wood 
man,  about  9  o'clock  in  the  evening,  some  one  rapped 
upon  the  door.  I  was  frightened  at  first,  thinking  a 
messenger  had  been  sent  to  inform  me  of  my  father's 


180  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

death,  as  he  was  not  expected  to  live  at  that  time. 
Before  opening  the  door,  I  asked  who  it  was  that 
sought  admittance. 

The  answer  was,  "A  policeman,  Mrs.  Beard ;  I  only 
want  to  speak  to  you  a  minute." 

On  opening  the  door,  I  beheld  two  burly  officers  of 
the  law  standing  on  the  veranda.  The  moment  I  laid 
eyes  upon  them,  I  exclaimed,  "Oh,  my  father's  dead !" 

The  policeman  said,  "No,  not  that  I  know  of.  We 
have  come  to  say  that  the  Mayor  requests  you  to  ap- 
pear before  him  to-morrow  evening  at  half-past  four." 

I  said,  "What  have  I  done  that  I  should  appear 
before  the  Mayor  of  the  city?" 

The  officer  whom  I  addressed  seemed  to  possess  a 
kind  heart,  so  he  said : 

"Mrs.  Beard,  I  don't  know  much  about  the  matter, 
but  think  it's  something  in  regard  to  a  misunder- 
standing you  and  Mr.  Cox  had  over  a  cord  of  wood." 

I  told  the  officer  all  right,  I  would  appear  in  court 
on  the  following  evening,  as  I  wasn't  afraid  to  face 
the  world  as  to  what  I  had  said  to  Mr.  Cox,  and  would 
be  there  at  half-past  four.  After  this,  I  closed  the  door 
and  returned  to  my  work — not  frightened,  as  you 
might  suppose,  but  only  too  glad  of  having  the  oppor- 
tunity to  avenge  my  wrong. 

On  seeking  advice  from  an  attorney,  he  advised  me 
to  treat  the  matter  with  silent  contempt,  but  I  told 
him  no,  a  Grumpier  was  never  known  to  shrink  from 
duty,  and  I  would  not  be  the  first  to  dishonor  the 
name  by  doing  so. 

So,  long  before  the  time  arrived,  penniless  and 
alone,  I  crossed  the  threshold  of  the  police  court. 
Upon  entering,  I  looked  neither  to  the  right  or  left  of 
me,  but  walked  straight  to  the  front,  where  I  was  met 
by  Policeman  Allen,  one  of  my  father's  former  em- 
ployees, who  presented  me  with  a  chair. 


A  DESEBTBD  WIFE.  181 

When  seated,  Mr.  I.  E.  White,  who  was  filling  the 
Chief's  place,  remarked  that  I  didn't  seem  at  all 
scared. 

I  thought,  why  should  I,  knowing  as  I  did  that  if 
I  received  justice  at  the  hands  of  the  Court,  I  would 
once  more  cross  the  threshold  as  the  Hebrew  children 
did  from  the  fiery  furnace. 

When  Court  sat,  the  Mayor  remarked  that  he  had 
known  me  from  childhood,  and  had  never  heard  of 
me  using  profane  language.  He  then  read  the  war- 
rant that  had  been  issued  for  my  arrest,  charging  me 
with  cursing,  swearing  and  causing  a  public  nuisance. 

After  reading  the  warrant,  he  asked  me  to  rise  and 
answer  to  the  charge  preferred  against  me. 

I  remained  seated,  but  in  a  firm,  clear  voice  ex- 
claimed : 

"Not  guilty,  sir." 

He  then  wanted  to  know  whether  I  was  ready  for 
the  trial  to  proceed. 

I  told  him  I  supposed  not,  as  my  attorney  wasn't 
present.  Owing  to  previous  engagement,  he  could 
not  appear  in  my  behalf  until  the  following  evening. 

The  Mayor  said,  "Well,  the  trial  will  be  deferred 
until  then." 

I  arose  from  my  chair,  and,  after  bidding  the  blue- 
coated  officers  good  evening,  I  passed  out,  went  to 
the  market  and  purchased  some  steak,  then  returned 
home  to  prepare  it. 

W  nile  eating  supper,  I  was  told  that  my  father  was 
dying,  so  I  went  to  his  residence  at  once.  On  reach- 
ing there,  I  had  quite  a  time  in. gaining  admittance, 
as  my  stepmother  declared  that  I  should  not  enter 
father's  room,  and  that  if  I  persisted  in  doing  so,  she 
would  put  me  out  with  her  own  hands,  if  there  were 
twenty  people  within. 


182  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

My  uncle,  who  was  sitting  at  father's  bedside,  said 
that  he  never  witnessed  such  a  scene  before.  He 
made  sure  Mrs.  Crumpler  would  tear  me  to  pieces, 
from  the  way  she  acted.  Uncle  afterwards  said  to 
me,  "Ida,  she  reminds  me  of  a  tigress,  and  I  think 
you  did  well  to  escape  being  torn  to  pieces." 

I  suppose  that  Mrs.  Crumpler  was  afraid  that  father 
would  tell  me  something  about  the  will  that  she  had 
forced  him  to  sign — I  will  not  say  make,  for  I  am 
confident  it  was  none  of  father's  making.  He  would 
not  have  treated  his  own  flesh  and  blood  in  such  a 
manner.  The  very  idea  of  his  children  only  getting 
one  hundred  dollars  apiece,  while  Mrs.  Crumpler,  our 
stepmother,  sat  back  with  eight  thousand  dollars' 
worth  of  property  around  her. 

On  Saturday  evening  following  the  trial,  father 
passed  away.  I  knew  nothing  of  his  death  until  Sun- 
day morning.  I  remained  in  my  cottage  during  the 
day,  and  would  have  been  compelled  to  do  so  in  a 
hungry  state  had  it  not  been  for  Mrs.  T.  L.  Leslie 
sending  her  little  daughter  Grace  with  a  nice  basket 
of  provisions. 

On  Thursday  before  father's  death  occurred,  he 
asked  for  Sister  Nell.  I  wrote  to  several  places  in 
order  to  ascertain  something  of  her  whereabouts,  but 
could  hear  nothing  from  her.  So  father  hadn't  the 
pleasure  of  saying  goodbye  to  the  baby  girl  whom 
mother,  when  dying,  had  left  in  his  charge. 

Father  also  asked  whether  John  was  on  his  way 
home.  I  hardly  knew  what  to  say,  so  told  him  I 
thought  he  had  started. 

Then  father  said,  "Well,  I  would  like  to  speak  to 
him  once  more,  and  tell  him  how  he  caused  me  to 
suffer  when  taking  you  from  a  good  home  and  me 
years  ago.     I  had  planned  so  many  things  for  you, 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  183 

but  John  deprived  you  of  all,  and  now  I  want  him  to 
take  care  of  you  in  your  old  age.  Should  he  fail  to 
reach  here  before  I  pass  away,  don't  forget  my  dying- 
request," 

I  wrote  John  in  regard  to  father's  last  remarks. 
The  reply  I  received  was,  "Ida,  you  need  not  think 
that  writing  as  you  did  in  your  last  you  will  mend 
matters  any,  as  such  things  are  only  calculated  to 
make  my  hard  heart  the  harder." 

The  evening  following  father's  burial,  I  again  dis- 
covered someone  at  my  door.  Upon  opening  it,  I  saw 
standing  before  me  Officer  White.  He  wanted  to 
know  how  soon  I  would  be  ready  to  appear  before  the 
Mayor. 

I  told  him  that  my  attorney  'phoned  me  that  the 
case  had  been  dropped.  However,  if  the  Mayor  re- 
quested me  to  appear  in  Court,  I  would  do  so  with 
pleasure. 

Before  leaving,  I  told  the  officer  I  was  getting  tired 
of  the  "cop"  business,  and  that  hereafter  whenever 
lie  had  dealings  with  me,  to  please  call  at  12  m.  in- 
stead of  9  p.  m. 

While  handling  the  little  golden  cord  around  his 
hat,  the  lovely  peachbloom  upon  the  officer's  cheeks 
turned  a  shade  darker,  and  he  remarked  that  the  rea- 
son he  came  at  night  was  because  he  wasn't  on  day 
duty. 

I  bid  him  good  evening,  and  since  that  time  Mr. 
White  has  treated  me  with  extreme  politeness.  Its 
always  best  never  to  show  the  white  feather  under 
anv  circumstances. 


184  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

CHAPTER  XIV. 

OTHER   INCIDENTS   OF   MY  LIFE   AFTER   BEING   DESERTED. 

One  stormy  night,  in  about  two  weeks  after  we  had 
laid  father  to  rest,  I  heard  a  feeble  voice,  as  that  of 
Sister  Nell,  calling  to  me  from  without.  I  grasped  the 
lamp,  and  as  I  did  so,  wondered  whether  it  was  she 
in  flesh  and  blood,  or  only  her  spirit  speaking  to  me 
from  the  other  world.  With  trembling  footsteps  I 
approached  the  door,  and  asked  whether  it  was  she, 
and  whether  alone.  For  a  moment  I  wondered  what 
the  world  would  say  if  I  opened  the  door.  Then  I 
said,  "What  need  I  care  for  the  opinion  of  the  cruel 
world ;  it's  my  own  sister  who  seeks  shelter  from  the 
storm,  and  I  shall  invite  her  within !" 

She  refused  to  enter  at  first ;  said  she  had  only  come 
to  ascertain  something  in  regard  to  father's  last 
words.  She  had  not  heard  of  his  death  until  the  pre- 
vious day,  and  could  not  realize  that  the  report  was 
true,  until,  on  reaching  the  city,  she  visited  the  ceme- 
tery and  beheld  the  newly  made  grave;  then  knew 
that  all  was  over,  and  she  an  orphan,  with  but  one 
remaining  sister.     So  had  come  to  me  for  comfort. 

I  would  have  been  more  than  heartless  to  have 
turned  her  from  my  door. 

On  entering,  her  eyes  fell  upon  the  mantel,  where 
I  had  arranged  the  family  portraits.  Among  the 
number  was  a  picture  of  the  old  home.  As  sister 
stood  gazing  at  the  scene  before  her,  I  noticed  a  tear 
drop  upon  her  hand,  and  she  exclaimed,  "Oh,  that 
we  could  recall  the  past !" 

I  placed  my  arm  around  her  waist  and  said,  "Nell, 
that  can  never  be;  and  now  you  and  I  must  make  a 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  185 

desperate  effort  to  regain  the  dear  old  spot  where 
father  and  mother  spent  their  last  moments.  I  can 
not  bear  the  idea  of  the  place  falling  into  the  hands 
of  strangers." 

After  this,  sister  became  seated  in  a  little  rocking- 
chair  given  her  by  father  in  years  gone  by,  and  when 
the  storm  had  ceased  she  took  her  departure.  Before 
leaving,  I  kissed  her,  and  with  a  piece  of  good  advice, 
she  disappeared.  On  the  following  day  she  left  the 
city,  and  I  have  never  laid  eyes  on  her  since,  but 
mourned  her  as  dead  for  seven  months;  then,  all  at 
once,  I  received  a  letter,  saying  that  as  I  had  been  so 
very  kind  to  her,  she  would  like  to  send  the  children 
and  I  something.  I  answered  her  letter,  thanking  her 
for  her  kindness,  but  told  her  that,  owing  to  circum- 
stances, I  could  not  accept  the  things  she  had  offered 
me,  and  hoped  that  she  would  not  become  offended. 

Soon  after  father's  death,  I  made  preparations  to 
leave  the  little  cottage  I  was  occupying.  I  called 
upon  James  S.  Dunn,  the  rental  agent,  and  told  him 
I  thought  he  had  better  give  me  a  cheaper  house,  as 
I  was  almost  sure  that  my  husband  did  not  intend 
sending  me  any  more  money.  Mr.  Dunn  told  me  to 
remain  where  I  was  for  a  few  days,  and  he  would  see 
what  could  be  done. 

I  returned  home,  and  in  the  meantime  wired  the 
Chief  of  Police  of  Charlestown,  W.  Va.,  in  order  to 
learn  something  of  my  husband's  whereabouts.  The 
reply  that  I  received  was  that  J.  L.  Beard  was  in  the 
city  and  well. 

I  hadn't  heard  from  John  in  over  three  weeks — 
thought  perhaps  he  was  on  his  way  home. 

In  a  few  hours  after  receiving  the  message  from 
the  Chief  of  Police,  I  received  one  from  my  husband, 
saying : 

Have  been  very  ill.     Will  leave  for  Cincinnati  in  the  morning. 


186  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

The  day  following  the  telegrams,  1  received  a  letter 
from  John,  telling  me  never  to  wire  the  Chief  of  Po- 
lice again,  as  it  created  a  bad  impression. 

I  suppose  my  wiring  interfered  with  his  courting 
affairs;  or,  at  least,  about  this  time  his  intended 
asked  for  a  recommendation  from  Winston.  John 
told  her  certainly,  she  should  have  one !  Then  he  sat 
down  and  wrote  out  a  long  one  himself,  placed  it  in 
an  envelope  and  sent  it  here  to  his  father,  to  be  re- 
turned at  once  to  his  future  bride. 

The  second  letter  I  received  from  my  husband  after 
father's  death  was  such  a  cruel  one  I  never  answered 
it.  He  wrote  me  that  after  living  with  me  for  sixteen 
years,  he  had  come  to  the  conclusion  that  we  never 
were  intended  for  each  other,  and  that  I  could  get  a 
divorce  as  soon  as  I  liked,  and  he  would  do  the  same. 

How  lightly  he  could  speak  of  our  not  being  in- 
tended for  each  other,  and  of  getting  a  divorce.  Oh, 
why  did  he  not  leave  me  at  the  happy  home  he  took 
me  from  years  before?  Then  I  was  a  lighthearted 
girl,  knowing  nothing  in  regard  to  the  cares  of  this 
cruel,  cruel  world ! 

After  the  last  cruel  letter  had  been  handed  me  by 
Peter,  the  postman,  I  again  called  on  Mr.  Dunn,  and. 
told  him  that  I  had  the  offer  of  two  rooms,  and 
thought  I  had  better  accept  them,  as  I  was  then  cer- 
tain that  my  husband  did  not  intend  sending  me  any- 
thing more. 

The  agent  said,  "Well,  I  think  you  had  better  re- 
main where  you  are  a  day  or  two  yet ;  perhaps  I  will 
be  able  in  that  time  to  borrow  some  money  for  you 
to  pay  your  back  rent." 

I  thanked  him,  and  turned  as  if  to  leave  his  office. 
On  doing  so,  he  asked  me  how  father's  will  read,  and 
whether  I  intended  accepting  my  f  100.  I  told  him 
no,  not  unless  I  was  compelled  to  do  so. 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  187 

Nothing  more  was  said.  I  returned  home,  and  on 
the  following  day  Mr.  Dunn  sent  J.  H.  Stockton,  his 
genteel  little  collector,  to  me  with  a  notice  to  vacate 
unless  I  could  pay  my  rent  immediately. 

I  suppose  he  had  thought  I  would  accept  the  $100, 
and  that  he  would  get  every  cent  of  it  for  rent ;  when 
foiled  in  his  plans,  it  raised  his  ire,  and  that  was  why 
he  requested  me  to  vacate  at  once. 

There  I  was  with  my  two  children  and  no  place  to 
move  to ;  the  rooms  that  had  been  offered  to  me  were 
then  occupied. 

I  'phoned  Mr.  Dunn  that  he  must  find  me  a  cheap 
place,  or  I  would  be  compelled  to  remain  where  I  was 
until  I  could  do  better. 

I  couldn't  sleep  at  night  on  account  of  not  knowing 
how  long  I  would  have  a  shelter  over  my  head.  At 
last  the  agent  promised  to  give  me  one  room  in  the 
Grubbs  Building,  and  perhaps,  later  on,  would  be  able 
to  let  me  have  two.  So  I  made  preparations  for 
moving.  On  the  morning  I  went  to  have  the  room 
cleaned,  Mr.  Dunn  informed  me  that  I  could  not  have 
it,  as  it  was  already  spoken  for  before  promising  it  to 
me.  However,  the  agent  said  that  he  would  rent  me 
a  room  in  the  Bitting  block ;  but  would  tell  me  in  the 
beginning  that  it  was  a  pretty  tough  place,  and  he 
didn't  know  whether  I  could  live  there  or  not. 

Well,  I  thought  it  was  better  than  being  entirely 
out  in  the  street;  so,  without  further  words  over  the 
matter,  I  took  possession  of  the  room  adjoining  the 
one  formerly  occupied  by  my  husband  when  in  the 
refining  magistrate  business. 

On  moving  in,  I  noticed  a  mysterious  looking  set  of 
people  passing  back  and  forth  through  the  hall,  and 
heard  one  of  the  men  say  that  somebody  would  be 
compelled  to  move.     I  wondered  who  he  had  refer- 


188  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

ence  to,  and  that  night  realized  that  I  had  landed 
among  a  notorious  set  of  gamblers.  I  scarcely  knew 
what  to  do.  My  surroundings  reminded  me  of  Blue- 
field,  W.  Va.  It  was  awful  to  think  that  the  children 
and  I  were  in  such  a  place,  alone  and  unprotected.  I 
said  nothing,  but  made  up  my  mind  to  seek  other 
quarters  and  get  away  as  early  as  possible.  After 
having  everything  thoroughly  cleaned,  Mr.  Dunn  in- 
formed me  that  I  would  have  to  vacate,  as  he  had  an 
applicant  for  the  room  who  was  willing  to  pay  him 
$5  per  month,  while  I  was  only  paying  $3.  He  also 
said  that  my  children  were  disturbing  the  other  par- 
ties in  the  building.  I  told  him  that  I  knew  my  chil- 
dren were  not  angels,  and  at  the  same  time  thought 
that  the  police  would  do  well  to  pay  the  other  parties 
in  the  building  a  visit  once  a  week,  if  not  oftener. 

Mr.  Dunn  said  that  he  didn't  care  to  hear  anything 
about  his  tenants. 

I  then  asked  him  why  he  had  listened  to  others  in 
regard  to  my  children.  His  conversation  worried  me, 
and  I  told  him  I  intended  remaining  where  I  was 
until  ready  to  vacate,  and  that  if  he  attempted  to 
throw  me  out,  I  would  stand  him  a  magistrate  trial. 
He  looked  at  me  in  a  contemptible  way,  and  said : 

"Will  you?     All  right!" 

So,  in  about  a  week  afterwards,  I  received  a  notice 
from  Squire  Bessent,  requesting  me  to  appear  before 
him  on  the  following  evening  and  state  why  I  refused 
to  give  up  the  room  I  was  occupying. 

I  was  on  time,  as  usual;  at  least  twenty  minutes 
ahead  of  James  S.  Dunn,  the  landlord  or  the  agent. 

The  magistrate  told  Mr.  Dunn  that  he  had  much 
rather  we  would  settle  the  matter  without  having  a 
trirl  over  if. 

My  attorney  then  read  a  little  point  of  law  to  the 


A  DESERTED  WIPE.  189 

agent  in  regard  to  his  not  being  able  to  throw  tenants 
on  the  street  without  the  real  owner  of  the  property 
signing  the  notice. 

Mr.  Dunn  looked  at  me  as  though  he  could  swallow 
me  at  one  mouthful,  and  declared  that  he  would  call 
upon  Colonel  Bitting  immediately. 

I  told  the  Justice  of  the  Peace  that  I  wasn't  the 
child  I  looked  to  be,  and  was  as  anxious  for  the  trial 
to  proceed,  as  I  was  almost  dying  to  give  away  the 
agent  and  his  gambling  crowd. 

Mr.  Dunn  did  not  wait  for  trial,  but  flew  down  the 
stairs — where,  I  do  not  know,  and  on  the  following 
morning,  while  he  passed  the  early  hours  in  slumber, 
I  was  up  with  the  early  bird  and  caught  the  worm, 
by  calling  on  Colonel  Bitting  and  laying  the  case  be- 
fore him.  After  doing  so,  received  permission  to  re- 
main in  his  building.  I  told  him  I  didn't  care  to  stay 
a  moment  longer  than  I  could  find  comfortable  lodg- 
ings elsewhere. 

Before  leaving  the  Bitting  block,  thought  I  would 
burn  a  number  of  old  letters  that  were  in  a  satchel 
used  by  John  while  in  Bluefield. 

I  tossed  the  missives  into  the  fire,  and  all  save  one 
were  enveloped  in  flames.  The  one  that  flew  back 
on  the  floor  proved  to  be  a  telegram — one  that  had 
been  sent  John  by  his  father  in  regard  to  my  illness 
while  occupying  the  Grubbs  Building.  The  telegram 
ran  as  follows: 

Winston,  N.  C,  Feb.  4th,  1896. 
J.  L.  Beard,  Bluefield,  W.  Va. 

Don't  think  Ida  dangerous.  W.  H.  Beard. 

After  reading  this,  I  knew  why  my  husband  had 
wired  me  he  couldn't  come.  Murder  will  out,  no 
matter  how  late  in  the  day. 


190  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

I  at  once  called  upon  W.  H.  Beard,  and  asked 
whether  he  had  wired  or  written  John  anything  in 
regard  to  my  illness  while  he  was  in  Bluefield.  Mr. 
Beard  told  me  that  he  did  neither. 

I  then  produced  the  telegram,  and  said,  "Well,  how 
is  this?" 

The  old  man  turned  red  in  the  face,  and  afterwards 
left  the  room  without  saying  more.  How  could  he, 
when  I  had  caught  him  in  his  own  net? 

I  said,  "Sir,  you  can't  deny  having  sent  this  mes- 
sage— -the  Western  Union  Telegraph  office  doesn't 
prevaricate — and  I  shall  keep  this  as  a  souvenir  of 
your  rascality." 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  191 

CHAPTER  XV. 

JOHN'S  DIVORCE  AND  SECOND  MARRIAGE. 

Well,  after  I  had  burned  the  letters,  I  was  ready  to 
leave  the  building  where  I  had  spent  so  many  un- 
pleasant moments.  It  was  in  this  wretched  place  I 
saw  my  children  retire  supperless  night  after  night. 
Long  after  they  were  in  a  restless  slumber,  I  looked 
at  them,  and  wondered  why  God  did  not  take  them 
and  cease  their  suffering.  They  did  not  even  have  a 
change  of  clothing,  and  at  night,  after  they  had  re- 
tired, I  would  make  clean  the  garments  worn  by  them 
through  the  day. 

I  remember,  on  Easter  Saturday  night,  '97,  I  was 
compelled  to  wait  until  11  o'clock  before  beginning 
my  night's  labor,  and  it  was  2  a.  m.  when  the  last 
stroke  of  the  iron  was  given,  and  the  little  garments 
laid  ready  for  the  wearer.  As  I  folded  the  last  piece, 
I  wondered  if  John  was  sleeping  soundly.  Oh,  how 
could  he  be,  while  I,  the  poor,  frail  creature  who  bore 
his  name,  was  struggling  hard  in  order  to  maintain 
his  offspring. 

Many,  many  days,  when  the  clock  pealed  out  the 
noon  hour  over  the  city,  I  have  dipped  my  cold  crust 
in  water  and  was  thankful  for  even  this  boon.  While 
partaking  of  my  frugal  meal,  I  would  say,  "After 
being  reared  as  I  have  been,  I  am  too  proud  to  beg, 
and  too  honest  to  steal ;  therefore,  am  content  with 
what  I  have." 

Six  different  times  my  stepmother  offered  to  pay 
the  $100  left  me  in  the  will,  notithstanding  I 
wasn't  to  receive  the  amount  in  two  years.  The  last 
time  executor  Lehman  'phoned  me  that  he  was  ready 
to  settle  then  or  never. 


192  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

I  didn't  have  a  piece  of  bread  in  the  house,  the 
ground  was  covered  with  snow,  and  Basil — the  young- 
er of  my  two  boys — stood  with  me  at  the  'phone  in  a 
shoeless  condition,  saying : 

"Mamma,  accept  the  money !  My  feet  are  so  cold !" 

1  told  my  child  to  cease  his  pleadings,  for  I  could 
not  bear  the  idea  of  giving  up  the  old  home,  and  be- 
ing turned  out  into  the  world  with  only  |100. 

80,  with  the  receiver  to  my  ear,  back  through  the 
transmitter  I  thanked  Mr.  Lehman,  and  told  him  I 
believed  that  I  would  wait  and  get  a  few  dollars  more, 
as  I  was  anxious  to  walk  up  the  aisle  of  the  pretty 
new  court  house  and  break  my  father's  will.  I  could 
hear  the  executor  saying  to  someone : 

"Now,  just  listen  to  what  she  says !" 

On  leaving  the  Bitting  block,  I  moved  to  two  rooms 
in  the  Tise  flat.  This  property  was  also  in  the  hands 
of  J.  S.  Dunn,  and  as  he  had  declared  that  I  should 
never  occupy  another  one  of  his  houses,  I  paid  no  at- 
tention to  him — just  went  ahead  and  rented  from  the 
parties  who  were  already  in  the  building. 

Soon  after  moving  in,  Mr.  Dunn  sent  his  little  col- 
lector to  say  to  the  lady  below,  that  if  they  decided 
to  give  up  the  house,  be  sure  that  the  woman  above 
was  out  too.  The  lady  told  me  that  they  had  been 
trying  to  get  a  cheaper  place,  and  in  case  they  did, 
would  let  me  know,  so  that  I  could  speak  to  Mr.  Tise 
in  regard  to  retaining  my  rooms. 

So  I  then  went  to  the  owner  of  the  property  and 
told  him  the  family  who  occupied  the  lower  part  of 
the  flat  spoke  of  leaving  in  a  few  days,  and  I  expected 
Dunn,  the  agent,  would  then  try  to  throw  me  out. 

Mr.  Tise  told  me  to  remain  where  I  was,  and  per- 
haps someone  else  would  move  in  below. 

On  the  following  day  he  sent  his  night  watchman 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  193 

and    family    to    take   possession   without    the   agent 
knowing  it. 

A  few  days  after  this  occurrence,  here  came  the 
dear  little  collector  again,  telling  me  that  Mr.  Dunn 
requested  me  to  vacate  at  once.  I  told  him  all  right, 
whenever  Mr.  Tise  signs  the  notice,  and  not  before. 

The  collector  said,  "Well,  I  guess  he  will  sign  the 
notice  this  evening." 

I  suppose  he  did  nothing  of  the  kind,  or  at  least  I 
haven't  heard  from  the  agent  since. 

My  time  has  been  occupied  with  other  things.  Not 
very  long  ago  I  received  a  notice  of  my  husband's 
second  marriage.  I  knew  nothing  of  his  being  granted 
a  divorce  until  I  read  the  above;  so  I  do  not  consider 
him  legally  married,  even  according  to  the  laws  of 
West  Virginia. 

I  will  say  to  the  woman  whom  he  married,  that  she 
is  perfectly  welcome  to  my  late  husband,  so  far  as  I 
am  concerned,  and  I  think  that  by  the  time  she  learns 
something  of  his  rascality,  and  hears  a  few  of  his 
blood-curdling  oaths,  she  will  regret  the  dav  she  met 
John  Lewis  Beard,  the  "Tar  Heel." 

After  reading  an  account  of  John's  marriage,  I 
wrote  the  Sheriff  of  Kanawha  County,  in  order  to  as- 
certain on  what  grounds  he  obtained  a  divorce.  I 
was  anxious  to  learn,  as  I  was  sure  he  could  not  have 
gotten  one  here  in  his  own  State. 

A  friend  of  John's — in  former  days — afterwards 
remarked  that  if  he  couldn't  have  obtained  a  divorce 
in  his  own  State,  he  wouldn't  have  tried  elsewhere, 
and  that  he  would  just  like  to  be  in  the  city  where 
John  Beard  was  for  about  five  minutes.  Could  he 
have  been  there,  I  don't  think  my  divorced  husband 
would  have  enjoyed  his  friend's  society  for  any  great 
length  of  time. 
7 


194  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

John  not  only  mistreated  me  during  our  married 
life,  but  was  guilty  of  theft  in  many  instances.  On 
leaving  this  city,  he  carried  with  him  twenty  dollars' 
worth  of  law  books  belonging  to  L.  M.  Swink ;  and  I 
suppose  he  hasn't  forgotten  the  seventy-five  dollars 
he  pocketed  while  in  the  employ  of  the  Sick  Benefit 
Company.  I  would  also  like  to  see  him  standing  be- 
fore a  crowd  of  ten  thousand  people,  then  ask  him 
what  became  of  the  money  he  should  have  turned 
over  to  the  owner  of  some  furniture  that  had  been 
placed  in  his  care.  My  wretched  husband  disposed  of 
the  furniture,  then  pocketed  the  money,  and  told  me 
to  keep  quiet  until  he  had  left  the  State.  This  was 
just  before  going  to  Bluefield,  and  I  guess  the  poor  old 
negro  will  wait  many,  many  long  days  ere  he  receives 
the  amount  due  him. 

The  letter  I  received  from  the  Sheriff  of  Kanawha 
County  in  regard  to  my  husband's  divorce  affair,  was 
that  he  did  not  charge  me  with  infidelity,  nor  in  any 
Avay  compromise  me,  other  than  that  while  he  was 
an  affectionate  and  dutiful  husband,  I  was  the  oppo- 
site, not  being  reciprocal,  but  of  a  quarrelsome  and 
jealous  nature.  On  these  grounds  he  had  obtained  a 
divorce. 

The  week  previous  to  John's  marriage,  he  sent  a 
letter  back  here  to  his  few  friends,  requesting  them 
to  sign  a  document  stating  that  I  was  a  lewd  woman. 

The  wretches  very  well  knew  they  didn't  dare  do 
a  thing  of  this  kind,  as  I  lived  above  reproach ;  so  the 
document  was  returned  to  Charlestown  unsigned. 

I  look  upon  this  last  act  as  being  the  vilest  one 
committed  by  John.  The  villain  wasn't  satisfied  with 
taking  my  furniture  and  deserting  me,  but  in  the 
end  wanted  to  deprive  me  of  my  all — that  which 
money  could  not  purchase. 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  195 

After  receiving  the  Sheriff's  letter,  I  prayed  very 
earnestly  one  evening  that  the  Lord  would,  by  some 
means,  point  out  to  me  the  person  who  filled  the 
blank  representing  me  as  being  quarrelsome  and  jeal- 
ous. That  same  night  I  dreamed  that  P.  T.  Lehman 
was  the  author;  so,  on  the  following  morning,  I 
waited  for  him  to  pass  my  residence,  then  questioned 
him  closely  in  regard  to  the  above.  With  his  finger 
placed  in  one  corner  of  his  mouth,  and  resembling  a 
sheep-killing  cur,  he  admitted  that  I  had  struck  the 
nail  on  the  head,  and  that  he  was  the  one  who  had 
filled  out  the  blank. 

In  a  moment,  I  knew  why  Mr.  Lehman  had  done 
this.  Once,  while  he  and  my  husband  were  partners 
in  the  magistrate  business,  he  had  told  John  to  com- 
pel me  to  do  my  own  washing  and  ironing,  and  I  had 
asked  him  whether  he  thought  it  was  any  of  his  busi- 
ness to  meddle  with  our  private  affairs.  Since  that 
time  Mr.  Lehman  and  I  have  been  at  outs,  and  I  sup- 
pose it  did  him  good  to  wreak  his  vengeance  upon  me 
by  signing  the  document. 

And  now,  dear  reader,  lest  I  weary  you,  I  will  bring 
this  part  of  my  narrative  to  a  close  by  saying  that  I 
live  in  hope  of  breaking  my  father's  will  and  return- 
ing to  the  old  home  once  more  to  bury  my  past  where 
it  began — beneath  the  rosebush  in  the  vard. 


196  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 


CHAPTEE  XVI. 

BEGINNING  MY  TOUR. 

According  to  promise,  I  will  make  a  few  remarks 
in  regard  to  the  trial,  and  other  facts. 

The  long-deferred  trial  has  at  last  been  reached,  ter- 
minating in  my  winning  the  suit.  All  along  I  felt 
as  though  I  could  not  do  otherwise,  having  with  me 
a  band  of  upright  witnesses  and  A.  H.  Eller,  Messrs. 
Watson,  Buxton  &  Watson,  four  of  the  most  famous 
lawyers  in  our  city.  Each  of  these  gentlemen  just 
referred  to  seemed  at  their  best  while  speaking  in  my 
behalf,  and  I  am  sure  their  names  will  ring  out  over 
this  wide  land  to-day  for  so  nobly  defending  me,  a 
poor,  penniless  creature.  As  to  whether  I  shall  re- 
turn to  the  old  home  I  do  not  know ;  for  some  reason 
the  verdict  rendered  by  the  jury  was  set  aside,  to  the 
surprise  of  those  at  the  Bar  and  everyone  else. 

Well,  the  defendants  of  the  will  were  granted  a  new 
trial,  and  now  another  battle  is  to  be  fought,  another 
victory  to  be  won.  I  shall  fight  until  my  last  ball  is 
spent  and  the  last  man  has  fallen.  I  am  determined 
not  to  give  up  the  home  of  my  girlhood  unless  com- 
pelled to  do  so  by  the  hands  of  law.  I  shall  venture 
back  home  for  awhile,  at  least  long  enough  to  dig  the 
grave  of  my  past,  into  which  I  shall  drop  the  loving 
missives  written  me  by  John  in  the  long,  long  ago, 
and  in  this  way  will  end  another  fatal  wedded  life. 
Perhaps  at  some  future  day  my  children  Avill  revisit 
the  dear  spot  from  whence  their  mother  fled,  and 
while  reconnoitering  over  the  place  will,  like  Barbara 
of  old",  unearth  the  hidden  treasures  that  lie  buried 
beneath  the  rosebush  in  the  yard. 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  197 

Now,  I  can  almost  hear  you  say,  Please  do  not  for- 
get to  tell  us  something  in  regard  to  Mr.  Penry,  and 
also  of  your  early  morning  flight  to  the  Norfolk  and 
Western  depot.  In  the  beginning,  will  say  that  I  do 
not  bear  the  least  particle  of  malice  toward  Mr.  Penry 
for  entering  my  private  bedchamber  after  11  o'clock 
at  night,  as  he  was  invited  to  do  so  by  my  husband. 
And  at  the  time  I  have  reference  to,  I  suppose  that 
Mr.  Penry  considered  himself  under  obligations  to 
John,  he  having  been  instrumental  in  procuring  him 
a  position  with  Messrs.  Greentree  &  Hofflin,  and  I 
guess  Mr.  Penry  thought  it  nothing  more  than  right 
that  the  kindness  be  returned  by  participating  in 
wThat  he  and  his  Cheap  John  friend  termed  a  social 
game  of  cards.  Let  it  be  as  it  may,  I  blame  no  one 
but  John  Lewis  Beard,  the  wretch  whose  name  I  then 
bore,  and  for  my  children's  sake  still  bear. 

As  to  my  early  morning  visit  to  the  Norfolk  and 
Western  depot,  will  say  that  I  arrived  at  the  station 
just  in  time  to  forbid  the  agent  selling  a  ticket  to 
Robah,  who  was  being  persuaded  by  W.  H.  Beard  to 
desert  me  and  go  to  his  father,  then  residing  in  Roa- 
noke, Ya.  After  the  train  had  gone  out  that  morn- 
ing, Robah  visited  his  grandfather's  residence,  and 
then  left  the  city  with  the  intention  of  going  by  pri- 
vate conveyance  as  far  as  Walnut  Cove,  at  which 
place  he  intended  boarding  the  train  for  Roanoke  on 
the  following  day. 

Imagine  my  suspense  after  Robah  had  taken  his  de- 
parture. I  could  do  nothing  but  wonder  whether  he 
had  reached  his  destination,  or  whether,  like  the 
babes  in  the  wood,  had  fallen  asleep  along  the  road- 
side with  only  the  moon  and  stars  for  his  companions. 

I  suppose  that  W.  H.  Beard  and  his  son  John 
thought  that  by  robbing  me  of  mv  child  thev  would 
8 


198  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

crush  my  heart  entirely,  but  such  was  not  to  be  the 
case.     No,  I  was  to  live,  yes,  live  to  avenge  my  wrong. 

Eobah  remained  in  Roanoke  with  his  father  about 
a  Aveek,  then,  penniless,  was  returned  to  me.  One 
frosty  night  in  November,  1897,  I  heard  a  rap  upon 
the  door.  Of  course  I  asked  who  it  was  that  sought 
admittance.     The  answer  I  received  ran  as  follows: 

"It's  me,  mamma;  open  the  door.  I  have  come 
back.     Yes,  he  sent  me  home,  or  rather  she  did." 

I  asked  my  child  what  he  meant  by  saying  she. 

He  said,  "I  mean  Miss  Annie,  the  woman  papa 
calls  his  wife.  She  said  that  I  must  resemble  you,  as 
I  didn't  papa,  and  that  I  was  winning  all  of  his  affec- 
tion from  her,  therefore  I  must  return  home  to  you, 
or  she  would  go  back  to  her  people  in  Charlestown." 

Well,  I  had  recovered  my  child,  but  the  one  dream 
of  my  life  had  not  yet  been  realized.  I  was  almost 
crazed  to  see  in  print  the  story  I  had  written.  Was  I 
ever  to  do  so  or  not?  Yes,  my  dream  was  soon  to  be 
a  reality,  and  I  was  overcome  with  joy  on  the  morn- 
ing that  0.  G.  Lanier  called  at  my  residence  in  order 
to  inform  me  that  he  was  ready  to  begin  the  publica- 
tion of  the  work  I  had  recently  completed. 

Mr.  Lanier  was  a  month  in  getting  my  work  ready 
to  be  placed  before  the  public.  During  this  time  I 
scarcely  knew  whether  I  was  on  land  or  on  sea — so 
anxious  was  I  to  clasp  in  my  hands  the  little  yellow- 
back book,  entitled  "My  Own  Life,  or  a  Deserted 
Wife." 

On  Thursday,  April  10,  1898,  the  first  lot  of  books 
were  sent  to  my  residence,  and  ere  the  setting  of  the 
sun  I  had  collected  $25.  I  had  200  subscribers  to  be- 
gin with,  so,  of  course,  had  nothing  to  do  but  deliver 
the  books  and  receive  pay  for  them. 

I  was  perfectly  happy  while  canvassing.  My  whole 
soul  seemed  to  be  in  the  work  I  had  undertaken. 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  199 

After  disposing  of  three  hundred  copies  of  my  work 
in  Winston  and  Salem,  I  decided  to  make  a  tour  of  the 
State.  This,  I  knew,  would  necessitate  my  being 
separated  from  home  and  loved  ones,  but  hungry 
children  must  be  fed;  so,  without  further  thought 
over  the  matter,  I  made  up  my  mind  to  begin  trav- 
elling ;  and  on  May  31, 1898, 1  left  Winston  for  Greens- 
boro and  Salisbury,  N.  O. 

My  week's  stay  in  the  City  of  Flowers  was  a  pleas- 
ant as  well  as  a  profitable  one,  and  I  was  loth  to 
leave  when  the  hour  arrived  for  my  departure. 

From  Greensboro,  I  visited  the  historic  little  town 
of  Salisbury,  at  which  place  I  was  given  a  warm  re- 
ception, on  account  of  it  being  the  home  of  my  sister, 
Mrs.  W.  R.  Meroney.  She,  when  living,  had  made 
quite  a  host  of  friends,  who  were  anxious  to  learn 
something  of  her  earlier  days.  I  would  scarcely  leave 
my  boarding  house  before  I  would  hear  someone  say- 
ing, "Good-morning,  Mrs.  Beard;  I  want  to  purchase 
a  copy  of  your  book.  I  have  heard  it  spoken  of  very 
highly  through  the  press." 

The  Salisbury  Sun  was  kind  in  giving  me  a  nice 
little  ad.,  which  enabled  me  to  dispose  of  a  number 
of  books  elsewhere.  While  in  this  historic  city,  I  spent 
most  of  my  leisure  moments  at  Flora's  grave.  It 
afforded  me  a  great  deal  of  pleasure  to  arrange  Na- 
ture's blossoms  upon  the  mound  that  contained  the 
remains  of  my  beloved  sister. 

After  leaving  Salisbury,  I  returned  to  Winston  for  a 
few  days,  then  started  out  on  my  second  trip;  this 
time  going  to  Eoanoke,  Va.,  where  I  spent  a  pleasant 
week,  sold  a  number  of  books,  and  made  many  friends. 

Mrs.  N.  E.  Strain,  the  lady  with  whom  I  boarded, 
was  very  kind  to  me.  She  seemed  more  like  a  mother 
than  anything  else,  and  I  feel  as  though  I  were  in- 
debted to  her  for  a  great  many  of  my  sales. 


200  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

Before  leaving  Roanoke,  I  was  told  that  only  a  few 
weeks  prior  to  my  arrival  in  the  city,  John  Lewis 
Beard  and  his  Annie  had  been  residents  of  the  place 
also,  and  that  in  order  to  obtain  the  wherewith  to 
leave  Roanoke,  Mr.  Beard  had  placed  under  the  auc- 
tion stand  the  wedding  dress  belonging  to  Mrs.  Beard 
No.  2.  So  gentle  Annie's  trouble  began  soon  after 
marriage.  Yes,  ere  the  waning  of  the  honeymoon. 
And,  as  I  have  already  said,  I  am  afraid  she  will  yet 
regret  meeting  John  Lewis  Beard,  the  Tar  Heel. 

While  in  Roanoke,  I  learned  a  great  many  things  in 
regard  to  the  life  John  Beard  had  led  since  deserting 
his  children  and  I.  One  evening,  while  sitting  in  the 
parlor  at  niy  boarding  house,  another  lady  transient 
happened  to  step  into  the  room  also,  and  on  turning 
over  the  leaves  of  my  book  noticed  John's  photo,  and 
exclaimed,  "Why,  dear  me,  this  is  the  very  wretch 
that  beat  mother  out  of  a  forty-dollar  board  bill  a  few 
months  ago."  The  lady  at  once  purchased  a  copy  of 
my  work  and  sent  it  to  her  parent,  then  residing  at 
Coburn,  W.  Va. 

I  also  received  a  letter  from  Mr.  and  Mrs.  G.  P. 
Hicks,  of  Alderson,  W.  Va.,  parties  with  whom  John 
Beard  and  his  beautiful  bride  boarded  during  their 
stay  in  the  city.  In  her  letter,  Mrs.  H.  stated  that 
"Beard  left  not  only  owing  her  husband  a  great  deal 
in  the  store,  but  owing  his  board  also."  Not  a  cent 
of  board  did  he  pay  for  himself  or  his  Annie. 

In  closing  her  remarks,  Mrs.  H.  went  on  to  say 
that  Beard  owed  a  merchant  in  Alderson,  and  a  board 
bill  in  Hinton,  W.  Va.,  and  she  did  think  it  looked 
hard  to  see  a  villain  running  around  when  he  knew, 
and  everyone  else  knew,  how  badly  he  had  acted,  and 
she  was  sorry  indeed  that  she  had  permitted  Beard 
and  bride  to  remain  in  her  house. 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  201 

CHAPTER  XVII. 

ENDING  OF  MY  TOUR. 

Upon  leaving  Roanoke,  I  returned  to  my  own  State, 
and  after  spending  a  day  or  two  with  the  children, 
started  out  again  for  the  purpose  of  earning  a  liveli- 
hood by  the  sale  of  books.  On  this,  my  third  trip,  I 
visited  the  following  cities :  Durham,  Raleigh,  Golds- 
boro,  Wilmington  and  Fayetteville,  N.  C. 

In  Durham,  I  sold  a  number  of  books  and  made 
many  warm  friends,  who  seemed  to  regret  my  short 
stay  among  them. 

My  visit  to  Raleigh,  the  capital  of  our  State,  will 
long  be  remembered  by  me. 

From  childhood's  hour,  I  seemed  to  have  a  great 
desire  to  visit  the  capital  city,  but  the  opportunity 
was  never  afforded  me  until  July,  1898.  The  day  fol- 
lowing my  arrival  in  Raleigh,  I  called  upon  the  Gov- 
ernor, and  was  given  a  cordial  reception  by  himself 
and  staff. 

Upon  entering  the  capitol,  I  hardly  knew  which  way 
to  go,  but  presently  found  myself  standing  in  the 
doorway  of  Rev.  Baylus  Cade,  the  Governor's  Private 
Secretary.  Immediately  upon  entering  Mr.  Cade's 
office,  I  introduced  myself,  and  then  asked  to  see  the 
Governor.  The  Secretary,  in  a  polite  way,  remarked 
that,  owing  to  my  being  a  lady,  he  was  very  much 
afraid  that  the  boon  I  had  asked  would  be  denied  me. 

Mr.  Cade  said,  "I  expect  that  you  have  come  to  ask 
a  pardon  for  some  dear  one,  and  on  this  account  the 
Governor  will  not  receive  you,  as  he  possesses  a  ten- 
der heart,  and  can't  bear  the  idea  of  refusing  a  lady 
that  which  she  may  demand  of  him."     I  told  the  Sec- 


202  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OE 

retary  I  had  not  come  to  ask  for  a  pardon,  but  had 
recently  completed  a  biography  of  my  life,  and  was 
anxious  to  present  the  Governor  with  a  copy  of  my 
work.  Before  I  had  ceased  speaking,  I  heard  a  voice 
from  within  an  adjoining  room  saying,  "Admit  the 
lady."  In  a  moment  more,  I  was  standing  in  the 
presence  of  the  great  ruler  of  our  State,  and  Secretary 
Cade  saying,  "Governor  Eussell,  allow  me  to  present 
to  you  Mrs.  Ida  M.  Beard,  of  Winston,  N.  0."  The 
Governor  clasped  my  hand  and  exclaimed,  "Mrs. 
Beard,  I  am  truly  glad  to  meet  you;  be  seated,  and 
tell  me  your  story." 

While  doing  so,  I  felt  as  though  I  were  a  Brownie, 
or  one  of  Gulliver's  Lilliputians.  '  Yes,  in  size  I  was 
a  mere  mite  compared  with  that  of  the  immense  ruler. 

The  conversation  with  the  Governor  being  ended, 
I  bade  him  adieu,  and,  in  company  with  Secretary 
Cade,  repaired  to  the  different  offices  in  the  building, 
where  I  disposed  of  several  books.  After  leaving  the 
capitol,  I  visited  the  business  houses  of  the  city. 

Here  I  again  met  with  a  great  deal  of  encourage- 
ment by  the  rapid  sale  of  my  literature,  and  while 
standing  in  the  doorway  of  one  of  the  immense  em- 
poriums, I  heard  a  soldier  boy  say  to  the  proprietor 
that  he  thought  I  would  do  well  to  visit  the  camp. 
I  immediately  turned  to  the  proprietor  and  asked 
whether  there  would  be  any  impropriety  in  my  doing 
so.  He  replied  to  me  by  saying,  "No,  not  in  the 
least.  You  have  a  right  to  go  wherever  your  business 
calls  you." 

So,  early  on  the  following  morning,  I  set  out  for 
the  spot  where  were  stationed  the  Second  Kegiment 
of  North  Carolina.  On  nearing  the  camp  ground,  my 
heart  seemed  to  be  in  my  mouth,  and  my  voice  trem- 
bled so  that  I  could  scarcely  ask  of  a  sentinel  permis- 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  203 

sioii  to  pass.  But  the  moment  I  entered  camp  a  peace- 
ful feeling  came  over  me,  and  I  felt  as  though  I  were 
at  home  among  friends,  and  that  I  had  nothing  to 
fear  while  in  the  midst  of  those  brave  boys  clad  in 
blue;  although  numbering  thirteen  hundred,  they 
were  perfect  gentlemen,  every  one  of  them,  and  I 
shall  never  forget  the  kindness  shown  me  by  the  Sec- 
ond Regiment  of  North  Carolina. 

As  I  passed  down  the  line,  pausing  at  each  little 
white  tent  long  enough  to  tell  my  story,  coats  went 
on  and  hats  off  like  a  streak  of  lightning.  For  awhile 
fifty-cent  pieces  fell  into  my  hands  like  hailstones, 
and  in  less  than  two  hours  time  my  purse  contained 
$100.  Well,  I  was  minus  the  books  I  had  carried  with 
me  on  leaving  my  boarding  house  that  morning,  and 
with  my  empty  satchel  was  in  the  act  of  leaving  camp, 
when,  all  at  once,  several  of  the  soldiers  exclaimed, 
"Madam,  when  you  complete  your  story,  for  heaven's 
sake  don't  say  anything  about  us  cooks."  With  a 
smile  I  turned  to  the  boys  in  blue  and  assured  them 
that  whatever  I  might  say  would  be  to  their  interest. 

Upon  reaching  my  lodging  place,  I  recalled  to  mind 
the  old  maxim,  "work,  and  then  play."  So  I  said  to 
myself  before  bidding  the  capital  city  adieu,  I  will 
spend  a  day  sight  seeing ;  and  on  the  following  morn- 
ing I  was  up  with  the  lark,  filled  a  satchel  with  books, 
and  with  my  arms  laden  with  flowers,  repaired  to  the 
rude  hospital  at  Camp  Russell,  wherein  a  number  of 
our  boys  lay  ill  and  dying.  I  was  anxious  to  do  some- 
thing for  them,  so  left  flowers  to  be  placed  upon  the 
caskets  of  those  who  would  soon  be  beyond  all  earthly 
aid,  and  books  for  those  that  would  remain  to  fight  a 
few  more  of  life's  hard  battles. 

From  the  hospital,  I  visited  the  Museum,  the  State 
Library,  and  thence  to  Oakwood  Cemetery,  as  I  had 


204  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

a  passing  fancy  to  gaze  upon  the  last  resting  place  of 
Ensign  Worth.  Bagley,  who  fell  while  fighting  so  nobly 
for  his  country.  When  war  between  the  United 
States  and  Spain  was  declared,  little  did  this  brave 
young  North  Carolinian  think  that  he  would  be  the 
first  to  fall.  In  the  State  Library  my  eyes  had  rested 
upon  a  portrait  of  Colonel  Wyatt,  and  now  as  I  stood 
gazing  upon  the  mound  that  contained  the  remains  of 
Ensign  Bagley,  ten  thousand  thoughts  passed  through 
my  mind.  I  wondered  whether  he,  too,  had  been 
young,  handsome  and  intelligent  as  that  other  hero 
who  fell  during  the  Civil  War.  If  so,  then  why  were 
these  two  specimens  of  heroic  manhood  cut  down  in 
early  life? 

From  Raleigh,  I  went  to  Wilmington,  the  city  by 
the  sea.  On  my  way  to  Wilmington,  I  stopped  for  a 
few  hours  in  Goldsboro,  where  I  found  a  ready  sale 
for  my  books,  notwithstanding  the  place  had  been  the 
former  home  of  my  stepmother.  In  Wilmington,  I 
spent  a  pleasant  week,  sold  a  number  of  books,  and, 
as  I  had  done  elsewhere,  made  many  friends.  Before 
leaving  the  city  by  the  sea,  I  spent  the  day  at  Caro- 
lina Beach.  There  I  met  a  number  of  old  acquaint- 
ances, who  insisted  that  I  take  a  plunge  into  the  surf. 

This  I  told  them  I  did  not  approve  of,  but  would 
indulge  in  a  little  innocent  amusement,  such  as  stroll- 
ing up  and  down  the  beach,  in  order  to  make  a  col- 
lection of  the  different  specimens  of  shells  that  had 
been  washed  ashore.  This  being  done,  I  bade  adieu 
to  the  host  and  hostess  of  Oceanica  Hotel,  and  re- 
paired to  the  city,  where  I  made  preparations  for  my 
return  to  Winston.  On  my  way  home,  I  spent'  a  day 
or  two  in  Fayetteville.  The  lady  with  whom  I  stopped 
was  kindness  itself,  and  this,  with  the  rapid  sale  of 
books,  made  my  brief  stay  a  pleasant  one.     On  reach- 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  205 

ing  Winston,  I  only  remained  a  short  while,  then  took 
my  departure  for  Norfolk,  Portsmouth,  Old  Point, 
Hampton  Roads  and  Newport  News,  Ya.  At  the 
places  already  mentioned  I  was  successful  in  regard 
to  the  sale  of  my  books,  and,  upon  the  whole,  think  my 
trip  an  interesting  one. 

At  Old  Point,  I  visited  Fortress  Monroe,  and  also 
had  the  pleasure  of  beholding  several  large  vessels, 
which  only  a  few  days  before  had  returned  home 
from  Cuba. 

At  Newport  News,  I  visited  the  site  whereon  were 
stationed  the  One  Hundred  and  Sixtieth  Eegiment  of 
Indiana.  Here  I  disposed  of  a  number  of  books  to 
officers  and  privates.  On  leaving  Newport  News,  I 
boarded  a  steamer  bound  for  Norfolk,  and  while  sit- 
ting in  the  cozy  stateroom,  the  thought  occurred  to 
me  that  I  was  on  board  the  Louise,  and  that  on  this 
vessel  a  friend  of  my  youth  was  employed,  so  I  im- 
mediately repaired  to  the  Captain's  side  and  asked 
whether  he  knew  of  anyone  by  the  address  1  handed 
him.  The  Captain  looked  at  me,  and  exclaimed,  "Yes, 
Floyd  is  with  us,  and  a  whole-souled  fellow  is  he."  In 
a  moment  more,  before  me  stood  a  sailor  whose  hair 
was  streaked  with  gray,  plainly  telling  the  old,  old 
story  that  nineteen  years  had  passed  by  since  last  we 
met.  After  greeting  each  other  in  the  usual  way, 
numerous  questions  were  asked  in  regard  to  friends 
and  acquaintances  far  away  in  my  own  State.  I,  in 
return,  made  inquiry  as  to  the  health  of  my  friend's 
wife  and  children.  Then  came  the  most  important 
question  of  all — "And  where  is  John?  I  believe  you 
married  him  soon  after  I  left  Winston?"  I  made  no 
reply  to  my  friend's  remark,  but  handed  him  a  copy 
of  the  book  I  was  selling.  He  looked  at  me,  then  at 
my  work,  and  exclaimed,  "Is  it  possible  that  John 


206  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

took  you  from  your  comfortable  home,  married  and 
deserted  you?" 

Mr.  H.  then  gave  me  a  cordial  invitation  to  visit 
his  family,  which  I  did  in  a  day  or  two  after  our  un- 
expected meeting  with  each  other  on  the  steamer.  I 
found  my  friend  and  family  installed  in  a  comfortable 
little  home  in  Portsmouth,  Va.  Mrs.  EL,  although  a 
stranger,  received  me  kindly,  and  made  me  feel  that 
I  was  among  friends.  While  in  Portsmouth,  I  visited 
the  Marine  Hospital,  where  I  had  the  pleasure  of  see- 
ing Admiral  Severa  and  his  son.  Before  leaving  the 
hospital  I  visited  the  cemetery,  and  was  shown  the 
grave  of  three  Spanish  soldiers  who  had  recently  died. 

From  an  officer  standing  near  by  I  made  inquiry  as 
to  whether  these  poor  captives  had  left  any  message 
for  loved  ones  far  away  in  their  native  land.  But  not 
a  word  of  farewell  had  been  spoken,  so  parents  dear 
would  never  know  what  became  of  the  boys  that 
shouldered  arms  to  fight  for  what  they  thought  to  be 
their  country's  rights.  The  officer  from  whom  I  had 
gleaned  the  information  in  regard  to  the  dead  soldiers 
also  informed  me  that  in  a  few  days  Severa  and  his 
son  would  sail  for  Spanish  shores,  so  I  was  more  than 
pleased  to  have  had  the  opportunity  of  seeing  a  real 
Spanish  Admiral.  From  Portsmouth  I  embarked  for 
Richmond  and  Danville,  Va. 

I  was  quite  ill  on  the  morning  after  my  arrival  in 
the  city  of  Richmond,  but,  nevertheless,  began  my 
canvassing  tour,  and  in  a  very  short  while  realized  a 
nice  little  sum  by  the  sale  of  my  books.  I  enjoyed 
my  visit  to  the  Capitol,  and  in  this  mammoth  struc- 
ture disposed  of  my  work  readily. 

Hollywood  Cemetery  was  another  spot  admired  by 
me.  The  place  has  a  tendency  to  make  one  feel  as 
though  they  would  like  to  repose  forever  'neath  the 
boughs  of  the  magnolia. 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  207 

Iii  Danville  I  disposed  of  fifty  books  within  an 
hour's  time.  I  found  the  citizens  sociable  and  quite 
willing  to  aid  me  in  my  work. 

After  leaving  Danville  I  visited  Eeidsville  and 
Charlotte,  N.  C,  where  I  again  sold  books  readily. 
From  Charlotte  I  went  to  Asheville,  the  "Land  of  the 
Sky."  In  this  celestial  city  I  spent  a  pleasant  week 
disposing  of  books,  inhaling  the  salubrious  atmos- 
phere and  drinking  water  from  the  sparkling  Swan- 
nanoa,  Western  Carolina's  pride.  While  canvassing 
along  the  Western  Carolina  Eoad  I  spent  several 
pleasant  hours  in  Hickory  and  Statesville.  At  each 
place  the  citizens  seemed  anxious  to  purchase  a  copy 
of  my  book.  Those  who  had  read  something  of  my 
work  spoke  of  it  very  highly  and  gave  me  a  cordial  in- 
vitation to  visit  them  again  the  moment  my  story  was 
complete. 

On  returning  home  from  the  "Land  of  the  Sky"  I 
only  had  about  thirty  books  left  me  out  of  the  first 
issue.  So,  of  course,  knew  that  I  could  make  but 
one  more  trip,  and  that  not  a  distant  one. 

Where  to  go  I  hardly  knew,  but  finally  decided  to 
visit  Mount  Airy,  the  "Granite  City."  I  had  quite 
a  time  in  reaching  this  airy  little  town  far  up  among 
the  hills.  On  the  morning  that  I  was  to  leave  Wins- 
ton the  sky  looked  threatening,  with  angry  clouds 
floating  here  and  there,  indicating  that  there  would 
be  a  general  downpour  before  nightfall.  It  seems  as 
though  I  am  destined  to  have  a  rainy  day  whenever 
I  have  occasion  to  take  a  trip  up  the  N.  and  W.  road, 
and  on  this  special  occasion  I  was  in  the  very  midst 
of  what  one  might  term  a  cloud-burst.  Every  seat 
in  the  car  was  occupied,  and  we  were  nearing  our 
destination  when,  all  at  once,  learned  that  we  could 
go  no  further  on  account  of  there  being  a  hundred 


208  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

feet  of  washout  just  ahead  of  us,  and  the  bridge  ex- 
tending across  the  Ararat  River  had  been  entirely 
swept  away  by  the  turbulent  waters.  What  to  do  we 
hardly  knew.  There  we  stood  in  four  feet  of  water, 
fearing  to  take  a  step  either  way,  lest  Ave  plunge  into 
eternity.  Finally  we  ran  back  to  Pilot  Mountain,  a 
little  station  this  side  of  Mount  Airy.  There  we  were 
side-tracked  and  remained  in  the  car  until  morning. 
The  gentlemen  on  board  converted  the  seats  into  a 
comfortable  resting  place  for  me,- but  to  sleep  soundly 
I  could  not,  and  was  truly  glad  when  morning  dawned. 

On  awaking  from  our  restless  slumber  we  discov- 
ered that  the  citizens  of  the  village  had  surrounded 
our  car  and  were  gazing  upon  us  as  though  we  were 
a  travelling  menagerie  belonging  to  P.  T.  Barnum's 
circus.  The  kind-hearted  village  folk  informed  us 
that  on  the  previous  night,  shortly  after  our  train  had 
passed  the  station,  they  heard  the  danger  signal  and 
knew  something  was  wrong,  and  that  this  was  why 
they  were  astir  earlier  than  usual,  ready  and  willing 
to  render  us  any  assistance  that  might  be  needed. 

After  partaking  of  a  sumptuous  breakfast  at  Hotel 
Shepherd,  we  began  debating  among  ourselves  as  to 
what  we  should  do,  whether  to  continue  our  journey 
or  return  home.  Some  of  the  crew  decided  upon  the 
former  while  others  the  latter.  I  joined  the  party 
going  through  to  Mount  Airy  by  private  conveyance. 
We  reached  our  destination  about  2  o'clock  on  Satur- 
day afternoon.  Almost  immediately  upon  my  arrival 
in  the  Granite  City  I  began  canvassing,  and  disposed 
of  $10  worth  of  books  by  the  time  king  sun  had  sank 
to  rest  below  the  western  horizon.  My  stay  at  Mount 
Airy  was  pleasant  but  of  short  duration.  As  I  made 
a  thorough  canvass  of  the  city  by  Monday  noon,  and 
in  order  to  work  Walnut  Cove  and  reach  home  by  10 


A  DESERTED  WIFE.  209 

p.  m.,  I  boarded  an  out-going  freight,  which  landed 
me  in  the  little  "Cove"  about  sundown.  Well,  I 
didn't  mind  the  lateness  of  the  hour,  but  went  right 
ahead  with  my  work,  disposing  of  books  readily. 
While  canvassing  the  city  a  merchant  informed  me 
that  only  a  few  days  before-  a  salesman  had  passed 
through  the  town  and  laughingly  remarked  that  he 
could  have  rested  fairly  well  in  the  train  on  the  night 
of  the  storm  if  it  had  not  been  for  the  prattling  tongue 
of  a  little  book  agent  from  Winston.  He  said  she  can- 
vassed until  break  of  day.  Of  course  this  was  in- 
tended as  a  joke,  and  owing  to  the  kindness  shown 
me  by  the  hero  of  the  railroad  disaster,  I  will  refrain 
from  mentioning  his  name,  but  will  say  right  here 
that  it  wasn't  my  canvassing  that  kept  him  awake, 
but  the  half-dozen  hard-boiled  eggs  he  had  eaten  for 
his  midnight  supper. 

My  work  being  finished  in  Walnut  Cove,  I  returned 
to  Winston,  vowing  that  but  a  short  period  should 
elapse  ere  I  again  was  numbered  among  the  Knights 
of  the  Grip ;  and  since  the  time  referred  to  I  have  left 
no  stone  unturned  in  regard  to  having  the  second 
volume  of  my  book  published,  so  that  I  could  earn  a 
comfortable  livelihood  for  myself  and  little  ones. 

And  now,  in  conclusion,  I  have  one  request  to  make 
of  you,  dear  reader.  It  is  this:  In  the  garden  of 
memory  allow  me  a  tiny  spot  in  which  to  plant  one 
sweet  Forget-me-not. 


THE   END. 


210  MY  OWN  LIFE,  OR 

P.  S. — Since  completing  my  story  I  have  received 
a  novel  from  my  so-called  divorced  husband.  At  first 
I  was  rather  inclined  to  return  the  book  unopened  to 
the  donor,  but  woman's  curiosity  caused  me  to  open 
the  package  handed  me  by  Mr.  C.  Jones,  the  post- 
man. On  turning  over  the  leaves  of  the  book  I  no- 
ticed several  paragraphs  marked  for  my  special  bene- 
fit. On  reading  the  above,  learned  something  in  re- 
gard to  a  character  who  must  have  been  a  twin- 
brother  in  vice,  if  not  in  flesh  and  blood,  to  John 
Lewis  Beard. 

From  the  run  of  the  story  it  seems  as  if  though  at 
one  time  a  beautiful  young  girl  had  the  misfortune  to 
fall  desperately  in  love  with  a  man  who,  after  mar- 
riage, proved  himself  to  be  a  villain  of  the  deepest 
dye.  Yes,  without  any  provocation  whatever,  he  de- 
serted the  wife  of  his  bosom,  leaving  her  to  the  mer- 
cies of  this  cruel  world.  Some  years  after  remorse 
overtakes  the  wretched  husband ;  peace  and  happiness 
can  nowhere  be  found.  So  he  makes  up  his  mind  to 
return  to  the  village  and  to  the  wife  he  so  ruthlessly 
cast  aside.  The  wife  is  found  living  beneath  the  roof 
of  her  doting  old  father,  surrounded  by  all  the  com- 
forts of  life,  and  positively  refuses  to  return  to  her 
truant  husband.  He  becomes  somewhat  wrathy  on 
account  of  the  refusal  he  receives  and  points  a  revol- 
ver at  his  wife,  fires,  but  misses  his  aim.  From  fear 
the  wife  swoons,  falls  to  the  floor.  The  husband, 
thinking  her  dead,  puts  a  ball  through  his  own  heart, 
and  thus  ends  what  is  known  to  the  world  as  the 
"Copsford  Mystery." 

What  John  Beard's  idea  was  for  sending  me  the 
book  I  do  not  know,  but  suppose  it  was  either  to  pave 
his  way  back  to  Winston  or  to  warn  me  of  approaching 
death.     While  living  in  Bluefield  he  said  to  me  one 


A   DESERTED   WIFE.  211 

evening,  "Ida,  if  I  was  to  desert  you  and  then  return, 
would  you  live  with  me  again?" 

I  looked  at  my  husband  and  exclaimed,  "John,  I 
will  never  give  you  a  cause  to  leave  me,  and  should 
you  do  so,  I  would  never  live  with  you  again;  no, 
not  to  save  your  life  from  the  gallows." 

My  husband  then  remarked  that  he  could  force  me 
to  live  with  him  if  I  still  bore  his  name,  and  that  if  I 
refused  to  comply  with  his  request  he  would  kill  me 
without  a  moment's  warning. 

Dear  reader,  for  your  benefit  as  well  as  my  own,  I 
will  place  before  you  the  contents  of  a  letter  written 
me  bv  my  friend,  Mrs.  G.  P.  Hicks,  of  Alderson, 
W.Va.: 

Alderson.  W.  Va.,  June  24,  1898. 
Mrs.  Ida  M.  Beard.   Winston,  N.  C. 

My  Dear  Friend  : — Your  welcome  letter  received  a  few  days 
ago.  I  was  indeed  glad  to  hear  from  you  again.  I  also  received 
your  photo  Many  thanks  for  it.  I  am  glad  that  you  call  me  a 
friend,  for  I  want  "to  be  your  friend.  You  do  not  seem  at  all  like  a 
stranger,  although  we  have  not  had  the  pleasure  of  meeting. 

I  am  glad  you  enjoyed  my  letter.  Am  glad  I  can  say  a  sympa- 
thetic word  to  you.  I  know  you  have  suffered  a  great  deal,  all  on 
John  Beard's  account,  and  I  truly  believe  he  will  be  punished  for 
the  way  he  has  treated  a  pure,  innocent  woman.  That  is  what  I 
believe  you  to  be.  a  true,  good  Christian  woman.  If  John  Beard  is 
not  punished  on  this  earth,  he  will  certainly  receive  his  just  dues  in 
the  world  to  come.  How  could  any  man  be  as  mean  to  a  pure,  inno- 
cent wife  as  he  has  been  to  you?  I  can  not  understand  how  the 
rascal  gets  from  place  to  place  doing  the  way  he  is.  How  my  heart 
ached  for  you  as  I  read  your  book !  God  will  surely  take  care  of 
you  and  your  two  boys,  and  I  trust  that  you  will  be  happier  from 
this  on  than  you  have  ever  been  before.  I  trust  your  boys  will 
grow  up  to  be  true  Christian  gentlemen,  and  will  always  be  a  help 
and  comfort  to  you.  I  too  believe  John  Beard  will  desert  his  Annie. 
I  have  heard  several  say  the  same  thing.  I  do  not  see  how  he  could 
ever  have  deserted  as  sweet,  innocent  and  good-looking  woman  as 
you  to  marry  Miss  Annie  Quails.  Everybody  that  knew  Mr.  Beard 
was  surprised  when  he  brought  his  bride  here.  She  is  very  homely, 
very  dark,  and  has  no  education  and  no  refinement.  What  he  fell 
in  love  with  I  do  not  know.  I  believe  he  will  soon  grow  tired  of 
her,  although  he  thought  she  was  the  prettiest  and  sweetest  thing 
that  ever  walked  the  earth.     He  acted  real  simple  about  her.     I  like 


Microfilmed   >— 
SOLINE  PROJECT 


212  MY    OWN   LIFE,    OR    A    DESERTED    WIFE. 

to  see  a  man  fond  of  his  wife,  but  I  do  not  believe  in  kissing  and 
hugging  so  much  in  the  presence  of  other  people.  I  am  affection- 
ate and  of  a  loving  disposition  myself,  but  I  never  like  so  much 
hugging  and  kissing  in  the  presence  of  strangers  or  company. 
When  I  see  man  and  wife  act  so  much  that  way  in  company  I 
always  think  they  are  not  that  way  when  they  are  alone.  Do  you 
know  where  John  and  his  Annie  are  now?  I  heard  he  was  in 
Ronceverte  (just  twelve  miles,  I  believe,  above  here),  a  short  time 
ago.  There  was  a  circus  up  there,  and  I  heard  one  of  our  town 
boys  say  he  (John  Beard)  was  working  with  the  circus,  but  he  did 
not  speak  to  him. 

There  is  to  be  a  large  show  here  the  4th  of  July,  but  I  don't  think 
Mr.  Beard  will  ever  come  to  Alderson  again.  I  believe  he  would 
like  to  visit  Winston  if  he  wasn't  afraid,  but  his  Annie  said  she 
would  never  go  there.  Many  thanks,  dear  friend,  for  the  book. 
I'll  always  keep  it  and  appreciate  your  kindness.  I  hope  you  will 
have  very  much  success,  and  I  will  be  very  glad  to  know  when  you 
get  your  other  books  completed. 

I  would  like  to  meet  you. and  your  two  little  boys  very  much.  I 
have  two  little  boys,  too,  Herbert  and  Vaught.  How  old  are  your 
boys?  I  suppose  Robah  is  almost  a  young  man.  I  have  heard  Mr. 
Beard  speak  of  them.  I  hope  you  will  come  out  this  way  soon.  I 
would  be  very  glad  to  have  you  come  out ;  would  certainly  love  to 
meet  you  If  you  come  to  West  Virginia  you  must  come  to  Aider- 
son  and  visit  me.  Hoping  to  hear  from  you  very  soon,  I  am,  with 
kind  wishes,  Your  true  friend,  Mrs.  G.  P.  Hicks. 


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